Cousins (1989)

Ted Danson: Larry

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Quotes 

• Larry : Maria, would you dance with me?... Then, how about spending the rest of your life with me?

• Maria : How many jobs did you have?

  Larry : I don't know. A lot. I change every two or three years. If it looks like I might be successful. I move on.

  Maria : You don't want to be successful?

  Larry : I want to be happy.

• Larry : So, what do you want to do? Do you want to confront them? They'll just deny it.

  Maria : We could shave their heads.

• Tish : Do I look alright?

  Larry : Do stars twinkle?

• Maria : I seem to have lost my mate.

  Larry : Me too. I'm sure I came in with one.

• Larry : You're learning all my secrets and I don't know the first thing about you.

  Maria : I'm not an interesting person.

• Larry : So, I will now disrobe and play a Celtic classic ballad on my love flute.

• Tish : Would you still slay a dragon for me?

  Larry : Maybe a baby dragon.

• Larry : Remember the guy on the news who listened to Ozzy Osbourne so much that his parents sued because he became a mass murderer? Well, Aunt Irene told me today that she's thinking of suing now because cousin Donald listened to Barry Manilow over and over and he became a florist.

• Tish : I'm just trying to help, Mitchie. I could give you the girl's point of view.

  Mitch : Tish, kiss my squirrel!

  Larry : Hey, hey, we will have no squirrel kissing here tonight.

• Maria : They have fried octopus?

  Larry : No, I had that for breakfast.

• Maria : You have a rich fantasy life, don't you?

  Larry : Uh-huh. Don't you? Don't you have fantasies?

  Maria : I do!

• Larry : Is it just me or do you also have the uncontrollable desire to put our lips together?

• Larry : That one would look great on you.

  Maria : But, Tom hates me in hats.

  Larry : Then I'll buy it for you.

• Larry : All those years, I'll be dreaming of kissing you.

  Maria : With tongue or without?

• Maria : So what will happen to us?

  Larry : Well, we could be lovers or we could be friends.

  Maria : We are friends. If we're lovers, we have to lie. I don't think I can do that.

  Larry : Yea, me either.

  Maria : If we make love once and then never see each other again.

  Larry : Friends then. Very special friends.

• Maria : What does your wife hate you to wear?

  Larry : Boxer shorts. She doesn't think they're sexy.

  Maria : Oh, I think they're very sexy.

  Larry : We're gonna be bad. We're gonna be so bad.

• Vince : Are you bedding that woman?

  Larry : Tish?

  Vince : Christ, Son, I hope you're bedding your own wife. No, the other one?

• Larry : I think everybody's entitled to their own opinions. Don't you, Edie?

  Edie : Oh, yes. As long as they agree with mine.