Dan Shor: Billy the Kid
Photos
Quotes
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Billy the Kid : Here's the deal. What I win, I keep. What you win, I keep.
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Billy the Kid : Not bad, eh, Socrates? Where are we, dude?
Bill : England, 15th century.
Ted : We are in most excellent shape for our report.
Bill : Yeah, all we need is one more speaker from medieval.
Billy the Kid : Excellent.
Bill : Billy, you are dealing with the oddity of time travel with the greatest of ease.
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Girl at Mall : Oh, my God!
[laughs with her friend at Freud's introduction]
Sigmund Freud : You both seem to be suffering from a mild form of hysteria.
Girl at Mall : You are such a geek!
[walks off with her friend]
Billy the Kid : Way to go, egghead!
Socrates : GEEK!
[laughs]
Sigmund Freud : What is a geek?
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Bill : Dude, you gotta have a poker face, like me.
[Ted stops grinning at his cards, Bill looks at his own cards]
Bill : Whoa, three aces!
Bearded Cowboy : What the hell's going on here, Billy?
Old West Ugly Dude : Are you a-cheatin' us, Kid?
Billy the Kid : [sweating] Cheating? Me?
[leaps up/flips table over screaming]
Billy the Kid : Aah!
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[arriving at the White House in 1863]
Billy the Kid : Candygram!
Abraham Lincoln : Yes, what can I...
[Genghis Kahn grabs and pulls him into the phone booth]
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[seeing Missy as they arrive back in Bill's yard]
Billy the Kid : Whoa, who's the senorita? She's cute.
Ted : It's his mom, dude.
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Genghis Khan , Billy the Kid : Bogus!
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[the lights have dimmed in the San Dimas High School auditorium for Bill and Ted's presentation]
Bill : Hello, San Dimas. Please welcome, for the final report of the afternoon, from all throughout history, some of the greatest people who have ever lived, in their 1988 World Tour!
[Billy the Kid appears on stage]
Billy the Kid : How's it going? I'm Billy the Kid.
[the students begin giggling; in response, Billy whips out one of his revolvers and shoots a stage light to show he's serious. The student stop giggling]
Billy the Kid : I'd like you all to put your hands together.
[the students do so, clapping louder and louder]
Billy the Kid : [pleased] And now, my good friends, Bill S. Preston, Esquire, and Ted "Theodore" Logan! Yee-haw!
