Traxx (1988) User Reviews

Hey! I liked it.

[phiwum · 6/10 · 24 May 2006]

Is it brilliant? The best darn parody since "Airplane"? Nah. But me and my drunken undergrad buddies thought it was funny enough to rent it more than a couple of times back in the early '90s. And I wouldn't mind another look at it, I tell you what.

It was funny enough for an evening. Better than the average sitcom anyway.

Gosh. Apparently, I need to write 10 lines. But this little movie is not really worth an additional character study, plot analysis or other academic exercises. It was fun but no more essential than this useless padding.

The perfect middlebrow day off movie

[trudylyn · 6/10 · 25 January 2006]

It has moments of supreme absurdity, like the Working Mother's Daycare in the brothel, and moments of just plain sophomoric grossness, like the way Robert Davi's character dies.

Mindless in result, thoughtful in preparation, this is a Zen movie.

I discovered it on cable soon after it came out and have owned a copy of it on VHS for years.

A movie to be watched with your older teens without embarrassment, and your peers without explanation.

Shadoe proves himself to be a master at his character and seems to have had enough sense to realize that he did his best just this once and to leave it at that.

The bit players and supporting cast all seem to be having fun and the production values are way above par for such an effort.

All in all, a movie that does what it is supposed to and then stops.

So corny and bad that it's hilarious (but that's the point!)

[jellopuke · 6/10 · 9 February 2020]

You're not getting art here, you're getting a comic book and at times it really works well and is super funny. Some jokes just do not land, but that's okay because there will be ten more before you know it. An acquired taste, but worth TRAXXing down...

How to make a kiddie caddie float (SPOILER, if it matters)

[The Red Bull · 9 March 2003]

A lot of people are badmouthing this movie and, personally, I can't see why. This film is absolutely hilarious.

True, in places it has little to no production value, but c'mon man, a guy farts in a car and it blows up, what's not to love?

And the jokes "I'll make a kiddie caddie float" while threatening to drown a bunch of kids tied to a cadillac, and "Deiter lost a litre" after his sidekick gets shot. These two lines alone had me laughing at the sheer stupidity of the movie.

If you somehow happen across this movie, I would recommend doing it with some friends and some liquor, as a good time will almost certainly ensue.

REALLY bad!

[Wizard-8 · 1/10 · 22 January 1999]

No wonder the studio never released this! Now, I have no objection to moronic humor (as long as it makes me laugh), but the gags here are so incredibly stupid I can't see anyone laughing at this! Technical skills are unbelievably bad - in one shot, you can see the metal tracks the camera was moving on! There's only ONE funny gag - credit card decals at a whorehouse. Now that you've heard the one funny gag, there's no reason for you to see this. Unless...you want to see the actual Famous Amos vomit onscreen.

The worst movie ever. Period.

[Da Kap'n · 1/10 · 28 September 1999]

The worst movie in the world did not come from Edward D. Wood Jr. or during the low budget drive in horror movie period of the fifties, sixties or eighties. It came from video tape. It came from the man who was the announcer of Hollywood Squares and the infamous man in those damn Federated Electronics commercials. This man was Shadoe Stevens.

Dont Follow These Traxx!!!

[ADOZER200 · 2/10 · 4 February 2003]

This is by far one of the worst movies ever made. I couldnt get into it and it really didnt interest me at all. I dont even know who the guy on the front cover is. The only reason i got this movie to rent was because Pricilla Barnes from Three's Company is in it. It sucked to find out that she didnt even really play much of a role. Bottom line is....DONT GET IT!!!

"Flap your arms and suck some sky!"

[wade-57 · 10/10 · 22 March 2005]

The production is low. The acting is bad. The cookies are horrible. But that is what makes Traxx such a great film! The plot is not overwrought and deep, but it holds its own. What you are left with is over-the-top action and campy fun. Each of the characters is unique and quotable. This film remains probably the most oft-quoted movies of all time between me and my family and friends.

There was no attempt to make this movie low budget, naturally. That is what makes the entire package worth multiple views. Unlike the trendy, big budget "under the radar" releases today that try to fit the low-budget profile (and all the while most remain overrated and under deserving), Traxx succeeds because it is the real deal. It is underrated and most deserving. Watching the main character (Traxx) almost break character and begin to laugh as the one-shot-only pyrotechnics go off around him (you cannot script that). The Guzik Brothers hit squad is so brutal and self centered, yet they do not have to demand more screen time from the viewer: you will demand it of them.

This movie is the only reason I still have my VCR hooked up.

Saw it on a Shelf at Goodwill

[audiostew · 2/10 · 26 March 2006]

OK so I won't lie friends, I didn't see this movie, but rather I was at a goodwill thrift store today buying shirts and this little VHS gem was hiding under a neatly folded pile of Cosby sweaters on a shelf near the back. I read the posterior of the cassette and couldn't believe the premise of this film. I then looked at the cover and saw Shadow Setvens, and thought to my self, "Man was this guy NOT funny on the old Hollywood Squares, or that show Dave's World". So I set it back down, covered it with Cosby sweaters, made a few glances to ensure no one had seen me pick up that movie, much less read and consider wasting an hour of my youth watching it, and I left. And my life, was never the same.

Verrrrrry Funny, classic cookie comedy!

[bluewave67 · 8/10 · 12 June 2005]

This film is very funny, although it is currently our of print. If you desire a cheesy 1980's film that puts a mercenary into the competitive cookie business...this is your film. Shadoe is hilarious! Precilla Barnes is also very good as the mayor of the town that Shadoe Stevens tries to "tame" in order to fund his cookie business. The only problem is that he can not cook! This film is classic overdone male machismo, wrapped up in cookie dough. Yes, it is predictable, but very funny nonetheless. As far as I know, this is the only film where Shadoe Stevens is the star. He became famous for doing the voice tracks and announcements for the original Hollywood Squares.

So bad it's good.

[BeanieZanie · 1/10 · 26 January 2007]

This is absolutely a bad movie, but it's so bad that I can't stop laughing. I hope that's what they intended. The acting is not bad, but the plot is sophomoric. Grab a bag of popcorn and sit back and laugh.

The basic premise is that Traxx is a mercenary whose secret passion is baking cookies. He is a much better mercenary than baker, and his 'recipes' are shall we say unique. When he runs out of money for his baking business, Traxx finds a small town that is in desperate need of his special services, and he promises to rid the town of lawlessness in exchange for $10,000 (I think that number is right - it's been a while since I've seen the movie). It's a comedy of errors, with a little loving thrown in.

Best movie I've seen all year!

[sundejr-2 · 10/10 · 24 April 2001]

So what if it's ULTRA-80's!!! It made me laugh for at least an hour after I was through seeing it. If you like "I'm Gonna Get You Sucka" then this will be right up your alley. If only it had been successful... Oh well. Shadoe Stevens is my new hero!

It's Silly Fun.... 80's Style !

[at2ecw · 10/10 · 5 December 2003]

For anyone to really enjoy this wacky movie...i think you have to be just as wacky. The acting i think is rather good but the movie looks as if they have trimmed it down somewhat. Then again it could be just the budget maybe. Reminds me of Legend when i first seen it..... hmmmmmm LOL . I love this movie as it has some of the funniest moments and lines that you can only hear in it. i won't quote anything from it as this site has everything you need to know about it. If you love movies like loaded weapon...then chance a rental if you can find it. You won't be disappointed !!!

Funny because it is so bad

[brigittl · 8/10 · 26 October 2005]

I have to agree with Robert, the funniest scene in the movie is the farting/exploding scene. When you see this movie, just put your brain on neutral. And you will enjoy it to the maximum. The plot makes no sense and that is why it is a great movie to watch. I just hope that they release it on DVD. And where the heck is Shadoe Stevens now ? I just bought the VHS tape again and I am planning to make my now grown up daughters see it. Slowly bringing them up to date with bad movies. :)And that one was number one on my list. I am sure they will thank me for it. I am sorry but a fart is always a hysterical thing. And the idea that this guy farts enough to fill the car with the necessary gas to produce an explosion....well all I can say to that is I am sure that a lot of people out there had those kinds of days.

Shadoe Stevens is a GOD!!!!!!!!

[lou_larue · 30 September 2004]

I truly believe that anyone who's a fan of clever writing, plot twists, suspense, great action sequences and drama.............should never watch this film looking for those things! They should watch it, however, to have a good laugh at how bad a movie can truly be. Every second of this movie is entertaining for the sheer fact that it is one of the worst movies ever made. Shadoe Stevens performance is horrible. I love it!!! Someone who can be so unashamedly cheesy and yet so suave at the same time has my respect for all time. If you love laughing at bad movies, Traxx is for you. I'll end with a quote from the theme song.....

"having trouble with some maniacs?

send for traxx"

One of my favorite movies, ever

[ajbird-239-973916 · 10/10 · 2 January 2016]

I was clever enough to purchase this title on VHS after I caught an airing of it back in the eighties. I have seen it at least half a dozen times since then, and just watched it again with my husband and nineteen-year-old son. We were all laughing hysterically all the way through the film. I was afraid it would not have held up after all these years, but my fears were completely unfounded. We add our voices to those who would dearly like to see this released in a higher quality format. Such an offbeat delight! My favorite scene is the GMC "product placement moment, I think.... :-) I look forward to eventually sharing it with my fourteen- year-old, but it is still a little over the top in the violence/adult theme arena, even given the highly satirical context. Shadoe Stevens is phenomenal as Traxx -- his smile alone would redeem a bad storyline -- and since the scriptwriting hits exactly the right note with my sense of humor, the smile is just a bonus. If you can manage to find a copy, and have a well-developed sense of the absurd, see this movie! If you have no sense of humor, avoid it like the plague!

Nadir

[rmax304823 · 20 March 2001]

I worked as an atmosphere person on this film while it was shooting on the back lot in Wilmington, North Carolina. I was a drunken cowboy, a customer in the whorehouse parlor whose pocket was being picked by a scantily dressed employee, who was in fact a well brought up Southern Baptist girl who giggled nervously as I nuzzled her belly. My son Josh, an adopted Korean who was about eight at the time, was also an atmosphere person, playing one of the children in a kind of day care center in the whorehouse, genuinely startled when the door burst open because the move hadn't been announced. Now, as an insider on this project, I agree with other reviewers that this is one of the rottenest filthiest and altogether most execrable movies ever committed to film, the absolute nadir. I disagree with one reviewer's comment, however. The funniest gag is not the credit card decals on the whorehouse door. It is the scene in which Robert Davi (a competent actor, reserved guy, and stone opera fan) releases an inhuman amount of intestinal gas inside a closed vehicle while laughing hysterically, then lights a cigar, during which feckless act the car blows up. That's the funniest gag.

One of the best bad movies ever.

[Dano-20 · 8/10 · 5 February 2010]

Watch "Commando" or any other Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean Claude Van Damme, Steven Segal, etc. action flick and then throw this in as the back half of the double-feature. In fact, make it a triple feature and throw "Big Trouble in Little China" in the mix. If you don't get at least one laugh out of watching this, you take your action movies way too seriously. The scene in the limo where the villains are tossing grenades, running down bicyclists and making someone sing "Old McDonald Had a Farm" with a gun to his head (What sounds does a gazelle make?) should be required viewing for anyone making a film with bad guys in it. If your villain isn't at least as crazy as these guys, go back to the drawing board. Pop some corn, drink some adult beverages, and park your brain - this is a great cheesy movie.

What about the "Dead Limo Driver"?

[EGTACT · 9 June 1999]

The only funny part of this movie that I can remember is when the Guziks are in the back of a limo and the reactions on the driver's face in the mirror is just CLASSIC! Unfortunately, he winds up dead and Robert Davi kicks him as he asks what happened. The original credits listed him as "Eric Tilley... Dead Limo Driver". Why isn't he listed in the credits here? Maybe he thought better of it after he saw the finished product...