For Keeps? (1988)

Randall Batinkoff: Stan Bobrucz

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stan : You don't take care of bills by stuffing them in a shoebox!... We'll do less entertaining! And there is no reason on God's green earth that we have to have chocolate milk in the fridge at all times! Or French goddamn roast goddamn coffee, with goddamn cinnamon!

• Doctor : [after the baby's birth]  Stan, would you like to cut the cord?

  Stan : Isn't there someone a little more qualified?

• Darcy : How could you name our baby Theodosia?

  Stan : We needed a name for a the birth certificate, I asked you what you wanted!

  Darcy : It sounds like a greek fishing boat, or a crater on the moon or something!

• Stan : Oh no, my wife is not gonna get a job!

  Darcy : Oh great Stan, you sound just like Fred Flintstone.

• Darcy : I tried on my dress, for the prom, I look like a Thanksgiving Day float. I'm also itchy everywhere, my ankles are fat, there's something hanging out of my butt, the article's not going well and now I have to get a haircut.

  Stan : There's something hanging out of your what?

  Darcy : Well, when you're pregnant, sometimes you get hemorroids, okay?

  Stan : Bummer.

• Stan : You're light as air.

  Darcy : Yeah, so is a blimp.

  Stan : But a blimp can't dance.

• Stan : [in the labor room]  Do the pattern breathing, come on.

  Darcy : Screw the pattern breathing, I want a painkiller!

• Darcy : [going to the prom]  Stan, it took me ten minutes to get out of the car. How am I going to make it on the dance floor?

  Stan : Simple, I rented a forklift.

• Stan : College? What are you from, outer space?

• Stan : I'll settle for big.

• Stan : Why don't we just keep it.

  Mr. Babrucz : Grow up! You had a gerbil last year, you forgot to feed it, it died. This baby is going up for adoption, period.

  Donna Elliot : No. Darcy is not going to lug this baby around for nine months and get stretch marks so you could give it up to Catholic charities.

  Mary Bobrucz : Mom, what are stretch marks?

  Mr. Babrucz : Stretch marks are the badge of a real woman.

  [Mrs. Babrucz covers her face, embarrassed] 

• Mrs. Bobrucz : Stay for dinner, Darcy. We have glumpkies.

  Darcy : I'd love to, but it's Thursday.

  Lou Bobrucz : Oh, yeah. French night.

  Mr. Babrucz , Stan : French night! Ooh-la-la!

  Mr. Babrucz : Come wit me to zee Casbah.

  Mary Bobrucz : What's a Casbah?

  Mrs. Bobrucz : We have French fries!

  Stan : French dressing.

  Mr. Babrucz : Ooh! Zee french toast.

  Mrs. Bobrucz : And for dessert - we've got ice cream.

  Lou Bobrucz : French vanilla.

  Mary Bobrucz : And french kissing. With gum!

  [Stan and Darcy stop chewing their gum] 

• Stan : [interrupts]  Look, if we could just discuss...

  Mr. Bobrucz : Butt out! We're trying to decide your future here!

• Stan : We're gonna have this kid, Darce. You and me. A Bobrucz with red hair and your lips.

  Darcy : We can have everything, right? I mean, how did Hemingway put it? "You just have to grab for the gusto."

  Stan : That's a beer commercial.

  Darcy : Well, he said it too!

• Stan : We haven't worked out all the details yet.

  Mr. Babrucz : Work out this detail! Your whole future's going right in the toilet!

• Stan : What's wrong? What's the matter?

  Darcy : Nothing. Nothing. It's just that I've never seen you - naked.

  Stan : Naked.

  Darcy : Well, you know, I mean, we did it - but I - I just never actually looked at it.

  Stan : Come on, we did it six times.

  Darcy : Five times. The car, the car, the garage, the tent, the basement. Does that count?

  Stan : Of course it counts.

  Darcy : Okay. Well, still, that's only five times.

  Stan : The rain?

  Darcy : Oh, yeah. Still - I never actually checked it out.

  Stan : Oh, well, you don't have to look.

  Darcy : No, I want to!

  Stan : Well?

  Darcy : It's cute.

• Stan : Where are you going?

  Darcy : I'm going to sleep with my mother.

  Stan : Good. Good! I always thought somebody should be sleeping with your mother.

• Darcy : Now where are you going?

  Stan : The same place I always go. Out!

• Stan : It wasn't lame. It was love.