Warrior Queen (1987) User Reviews

No Exactly Your Father's Gladiator Movie

[Steve_Nyland · 4/10 · 13 June 2006]

Basically WARRIOR QUEEN is Joe D'amato, Harry Allan Tower & Chuck Vincent's version of CALIGULA LITE. I'm giving it a lower score than I might normally because of how downright mean-spirited of a little movie it is. Cult favorite Sybil Danning plays a visiting Roman empress to Pompeii who sits around yawning & looking bored while local Nero type Donald Pleasance hams it up as an insane, debauched, filthy, sadistic pervert ruling over Pompeii with a reign of terror that would have made Saddam Hussein blush. The film is cheap, sleazy, voyeuristic, under-written, over produced, filled with confusing distractions, sexual violence, rotten music, absurd lighting and costume design by a 12th grade home economics class doing a project on Toga Trash.

And yet it still has something going for it, probably the resemblance to an actual Peplum film centered on court intrigue, heroism in the Arena, forbidden love for a comely slave girl, a vengeance that has waited as long as an Ernesto Gastaldi plot development, and a genuine sense of helplessness for those who are not of the elite ruling class. All of these themes were of course explored under the cold, clinical light of an actual X rating by CALIGULA, and while this film is definitely cashing in on the whole Debauched Roman History genre it serves a role that CALIGULA could not in it's complete form, which is to appear to be actual mainstream entertainment. WARRIOR QUEEN is far less bloody, sadistic, lacks the actual hardcore sex inserts and ends a hell of a lot quicker. If someone was wanting to maybe get warmed up for CALIGULA this would be a good starter: If you like what you see here go for the gusto, and if not you're only behind on life by another 79 minutes.

A lot of fuss is also made over the 'unrated' version, which I happened to have, and aside from some obscured male genitalia in the big orgy scene there really isn't much here that is beyond a current-day MPAA R; The board may just have objected to the tone of the film in 1987. with the 'unrated' version is sort of a marketing ploy to sell rental tapes of a version that's about 90 seconds longer. There's a pretty good Snake Dance scene (always gotta love those) and some OK gladiator battle footage, but by the time they roll the stock shots of the volcano erupting at the end I was about done with this myself. If you want a perverse, overtly violent and sexualized Peplum but do not want to subject yourself to three hours of Macolm McDowall urinating on screen, here you go.

4/10: And yeah, the box cover is better than the movie.

The film is dire but who cares with such a great video cover

[Wilbur-10 · 4/10 · 5 December 2001]

Every male who was in his teens during the video-boom of the early 80's, must have some affection for the Barbarian/Roman epics which were in abundance. They just about skirted around the soft-porn self-embarrassment issue and could be nonchalantly given to the video shop assistant without too much shiftiness. It was an historical adventure film for the more mature viewer and the fact that this may include the occasional orgy scene, naked whipping, brothels and sumptuous exposed breasts was by the by.

'Warrior Queen' was released as the sub-genre was being replaced with mainstream films which could now get away with graphic simulated sex scenes - 'Fatal Attraction' was released the same year. No tarty business-woman could replace a statuesque, Amazon-like, 6-ft blonde, wielding a huge sword though.

The video cover for 'Warrior Queen' is almost certainly the film's highpoint, featuring a trio of muscular, tanned, bikini-clad beauties. Needless to say, the film itself is pretty crap - although there is just about enough going on to not feel completely cheated.

The film begins with a sub-title informing us that this is "Pompeii, August 22, 79 AD". Sybil Danning is a visiting Queen, entertained by Pompeii's ruler, a shambling Donald Pleasence who was presumably desperate for work. Along the way to the films inevitable conclusion (featuring lots of stock footage of a volcano doing its worst), we are treated to a pretty good slave auction scene; a rubbish arm-wrestling contest, complete with poisoned spikes; a gladiatorial duel featuring Goliath (a baddie, played by a big dumb Steve Reeves/Lou Ferrigno lookalike) against an opponent, both tied to pillars throwing discus's at each other; and a hang-tough contest played over a floor of wooden stakes.

Whilst not up to the standard of Sybil Danning's other Roman epic 'The Seven Magnificent Gladiators'-1983, 'Warrior Queen' provides enough nostalgia to give the viewer an entertaining hour or so of adolescent memories.

She's not exactly a queen and she doesn't fight much...

[gridoon · 3/10 · 25 October 2007]

...so the title (and the video cover) could be described as misleading. Sybil Danning does fight off a couple of attackers at the start, and does decapitate one guy with her sword later on, but that's about it. Her character (the mistress of the Roman emperor) barely speaks in this movie. She looks unimpressed by what is going on around her and occasionally even yawns - reflecting the audience's reactions perfectly! Donald Pleasence, as the ruler of Pompeii, is ludicrous; if Sybil doesn't talk enough, Donald talks too much, and at least half of his dialogue is made up from the same three words, repeated ad nauseam: "My lovely highness". The rest of the cast includes Rick - "Deathstalker" - Hill, and a Lou Ferrigno-lookalike, and some beautiful women. The movie has literally NO PLOT - for 55 minutes we are watching these people do nothing, until it's time for Vesuvius to erupt and Pompeii to be destroyed. This climactic disaster sequence is OK for the budget standards of the movie, but it's obvious that stock footage was inserted at some points. (*)

Sleazy historical trash. Now where can I find the longer version?

[BA_Harrison · 5/10 · 7 April 2019]

A word of warning: the Warrior Queen available on Amazon Prime is the R-Rated version which runs at a scant 69 minutes, ten minutes less than the director's cut. What did I miss? Well, seeing as this film is from producers Harry Alan Towers and Aristede Massacesi (AKA Joe D'Amato), and porn director Chuck Vincent, I imagine a whole lot of sex and graphic violence.

The shorter version still has its moments though, since not all of the sleaze hit the cutting room floor, with lots of full frontal female nudity and a little gore to make the experience less painful (without it, the film would be close to unwatchable).

The plot for the film is virtually non-existent, with almost an hour of random Roman nonsense before the climactic eruption of Vesuvius and the destruction of Pompeii (largely consisting of scenes from another earlier movie and volcano stock footage). The build-up is a series of unexciting but occasionally bloody gladatorial contests, sleazy slave trading, rape, and assorted acts of deviancy, with Sybil Danning as the titular Warrior Queen, who spends most of her time looking bored and yawning as bumbling Pompeii official Clodius (Donald Pleasence) tries his best to entertain her, pitting his slaves in arm-wrestling to the death and hosting a games in her honour.

Despite Danning and Pleasence's top billing, the real stars of the film are Rick Hill as charioteer Marcus and Tally Chanel as slavegirl Vespa, eye-candy for both sexes. Hunky Hill is all macho posturing while Chanel definitely makes up for the fact that Danning remains clothed throughout, the blonde stunner baring all. Look out too for porn-star Samantha Fox (not the singer) as Clodius's wife Philomena and Lou Ferrigno lookalike Marco Tullio Cau as Goliath, Marcus's rival in the arena.

4.5/10, rounded up to 5 for the hilarious sight of Pleasence catching doves in a net.

A 79 minute orgy of soft-core sex and hard-core violence....

[ccmiller1492 · 5/10 · 22 June 2008]

Other reviewers have pretty much summed up the general lack of quality of the film, the mistitled "Warrior Queen" which I can only term a 79 minute orgy of soft-core sex and hard-core violence. It has elements of both "Satyricon" and "Caligula" but not half the interest of either of those films, due to a non-existent script. However, it must be noted that two performances hitherto unremarked almost redeem the film: David Cain-Houghton gives a genuinely creepy and decadent portrayal of the owner of Pompeii's premiere whorehouse, a heartless slave-owner who cares nothing for either the female or male flesh he buys and then rents out. Mario Cruciani evokes a great deal of sympathy in his role as the handsome, innocent male slave who tries to protect a young girl sold into the same brothel as himself but only succeeds in bringing greater misfortune on them both. It is truly amazing how these two actors, with very little help from the script, managed to convey their characters so convincingly. Both actors deserved a much better film than this and they are the only two reasons to spend the time watching it.

This is a bad movie that is only worth watching for the ladies and unique circumstances

[kevin_robbins · 4/10 · 27 December 2021]

Warrior Queen (1987) is a movie I recently watched on Amazon Prime. The storyline follows the slave and prostitution trade during the days of Pompeii. When a female queen emerges and rises up the ranks she uses her powers to change the slave and trade business and free the victims of the system.

This movie is directed by Chuck Vincent (Sex Drive) and stars Sybil Danning (Amazon Women on the Moon), Donald Pleasence (Halloween), Rick Hill (Liar Liar), Samantha Fox (Jack+Jill) and David Brandon (StageFright).

The female auction is an A+ and was my favorite part of the movie. The props, unfortunately, were poorly constructed. The background music was funny and the storyline was painful. It felt like just a reason to put hot girls in a movie. There were some good kill scenes and I got a good chuckle from the Lou Ferrigno lookalike.

Overall this is a bad movie that is only worth watching for the ladies and unique circumstances. I would score this a 4/10 and recommend watching it once.

Warrior Queen

[Scarecrow-88 · 2/10 · 15 February 2008]

Sword and sandals smut with Sybil Danning(who looks bored throughout the whole film) as the supposed Queen of the title. The film depicts the life of various people before Pompeii is blasted by a volcanic eruption. Donald Pleasence(Claudius) is ruler of Pompeii, who tries his damnedest(..to no avail)to please his highness, Danning(Berenice), through forms of entertainment. You have pretty bad actress Tally Chanel(Vespa) vacantly portraying a beautiful blonde virgin(..cackle..snort..)slave becoming a love interest to her valiant hero Rick Hill(Marcus)who rescues her from strongman brute Marco Tullio Cau(Goliath) as he attempts to violently molest her. You have porn star Samantha Fox as the wife of Pleasence's ruler who carries a lustful torch for Hill's Marcus.

This is pure exploitation where slaves are hung upside down naked as the rich toss out wagers for them as if they were cattle. You have sounds of orgiastic pleasure on the soundtrack echoing the chamber halls where the film spends ample time showing the same boring sex scenes gratuitously repeating over and over. There are some coliseum gladiatorial combat sequences like the discus throw where Goliath stabs a member of the audience heckling him and his opponent in the belly with the poor guy's guts sliding out. You have an arm wrestling match where if the loser's hand falls onto the spike he dies of poisoning. Pleasence tries to please Danning by capturing doves in a net..yes, sad, isn't it? Goliath forces a royal, out-bidding him on Vespa, to swallow an obscene amount of gold coins. And, to top it all off..juxtaposed in this cheap-ass film, during the volcanic eruption that closes this travesty, are scenes directly lifted from another movie.

Geniuinely awful movie might be perfect fodder for Grade Z connoisseurs..it's rancid cinema of the lowest order which might work wonders for masochists looking for the next painful experience. Pleasence's role might be worth some laughs if you don't pity him. At the very least, the film has nudity in abundance and could be excepted as enjoyable trash. You've been told, so don't come crying to me after you waste precious amounts of time alive on this heap of garbage. Fantastic VHS box cover, though. If Danning would've showed her tits, I might've been kind enough to give this three stars instead of two..oh, well.

I'm not sure what I just watched...

[lewissaddington · 4/10 · 5 January 2021]

Where to begin? The "Warrior Queen" has basically no relevant part in the movie aside from disinterested brooding and maybe a single line of dialogue, the plot is entirely non-existent, and the choreographed fighting looks like bored rehearsals... yet somehow this movie is still frightfully entertaining. It truly defines "so bad it's good" but my god, it is a calamity of indescribable proportions. Everyone must watch this at least once in their lifetime.

Cheesy, gory, low rate nonsense - I love it

[Leofwine_draca · 4/10 · 1 December 2016]

This is an exceptionally cheesy retelling of the last days of Pompeii, relying on sex and violence for full effect. Made in Italy by a director of pornography, with a cast of B-movie has-beens and never-weres, and produced by one Joe D'Amato, this is bad movie-making at it's finest. The UK version is shorn of nearly all of the sex and nudity (the running time down fifteen minutes in fact) but the uncut version isn't much better. This plays out like a straight costume drama, with lots of different characters whose plot strands get tied up with each other. I use the term "plot" very loosely here for nothing much happens - it's just a like a week in the life of these Roman people.

Most of the action takes place in the local brothel, where various non-actors and porn stars wander around, frequently naked, and occasionally fight with each other. The setting isn't convincing for an instant - the sets are wobbly and the costumes look as if they are unworn, or straight from the fancy dress shop! The action begins as a truckload of no-hopers arrive in town and are immediately sold on the slave market (after being hung naked and upside down) to an unscrupulous bunch of suspicious men. One young man is chased for the rest of the film by a homosexual who will pay money to have his wicked way with him! We are introduced to Vespa, who is made to sound like the film's lead from the video box - except she isn't. Vespa has little dialogue and mumbles what lines she does have.

In normal films, Sybil Danning would be seen as a supremely untalented actress. Here, she positively shines as the film's title character, who goes around in a silly-looking chariot and cuts the head off a bad guy in a flash. Sadly, this is the only action that Danning gets to take part in, which makes the title a bit of a lie. The rest of the bloodshed takes place between various sweaty muscular hulks as they fight to the death in the gladiator arena and indulge in a precarious arm-wrestling match which, to the loser, means death. Two of the muscle-bound meatheads, played by the lunk from DEATHSTALKER and a Steve Reeves-wannabe named Goliath (like in the old days), have a personal vendetta which is solved in the most routine way imaginable.

One hilarious contest has two fighters swinging back and forth over a row of spikes while whacking each other with spiked gloves. When one unfortunate slips, it's pin-cushion time as his body is impaled (off screen). Or try the greatly amusing moment when two men, tied to poles, throw a silver discus at each other. When one crowd member chuckles too loudly, he gets the plate embedded in his skull! (amazingly, although the fighter throws the discus horizontally, the man is impaled vertically through the head!). The game ends when one of the men gets the disc in the gut, thus spilling his intestines all over the place. Just for effect, his ear gets sliced off and chucked into a bowl.

Presiding over the contests is a hammy Donald Pleasence, playing the ruler of Pompeii. Somebody should teach Pleasence the meaning of "restrained" here as he puts in possibly the worst, most over-the-top performance of his career as the slimy, fawning, and past-it ruler who gets crushed by a chariot in the action-packed finale. At least Pleasence's hammy work is more fun than the rest of the wooden folk around. Much of the running time of WARRIOR QUEEN is taken up by un-erotic soft core couplings accompanied by an annoying screeching woman on the soundtrack, or characters running around and saying things like "are you okay?" for real period detail.

In the end, of course, the local volcano blows its lid and panic ensues. At least something happens at the ending of this film, even if it is just a load of billowing smoke, running actors, and a few of those falling polystyrene rocks. To give the film an "epic" feel, the producers liberally insert clips from 1959's THE LAST DAYS OF POMPEII, an extremely obvious trick noticeable from the vastly different film stock used in those days. Elsewhere they throw in 'crowd scenes' from some other film to make the film look more expensive. To give you some idea of the budget, let's just say that the recent blockbuster hit GLADIATOR utilised a budget about a million times greater! WARRIOR QUEEN is quite a funny film to watch, but if viewing in a serious mind then you'll be severely disappointed. Bad and low-rate all the way!

A Late-Night cable favorite.

[cblwrth · 15 February 2000]

This is a rather strange little ditty that comes to us courtesy of exploitation and soft-porn veterans Chuck Vincent, Aristide Massaccessi (Joe D'Amato; director of "Emanuelle," "Buried Alive," "Anthrophagus") and Harry Alan Towers. More or less a T & A retelling, if not a send-up, of "The Last Days of Pompeii," this film focuses on the plight of a young, amply-endowed slave-girl, (Tally Chanel) who is sold into servitude in a brothel frequented by studly gladiators and politicians. Her struggle for freedom is encouraged by Caeser's sympathetic wife, the semi well-preserved Sybil Danning, who discovers her while on a diplomatic trip to Pompeii. As it turns out, she herself, is of the same tribe, but has to conceal her heritage, due to her royal station.

A campy, but dreadfully stilted lampoon of sword and sandal peplum, "Warrior Queen" does boast a delightfully hammy performance by Donald Pleasence as the vice-ridden pro-council of Pompeii. There's hardly any dialogue from the rest of the cast and that's probably a blessing! But, on the prurient plus side, there's a generous helping of nudity and "hard-gore" violence, which is the obvious draw of such a film. However, I must include "Warrior Queen" in my personal pantheon of golden turkeys, which, although it doesn't reach the same heights of lunacy as say, "Plan Nine from Outer Space," it does run an impoverished, if not very close second-place to "Caligula"!

Hey BA_Harrison, I revisited the 79 mins. Trust me u didn't miss anything.

[Fella_shibby · 4/10 · 12 May 2019]

Firstly the title n poster is totally misleading. There is no warrior queen present n none of the girls r shown fighting except for one scene where Sybil Danning decapitates a guy who attacks from behind that too without turning around. N in other scene she stabs a guy by throwing a weapon.

The entire half hour is full of softcore sex, lots of nudity. Throw in some gladiator fights with violence n end it with a volcano erupting with bad footages from other sources. Rightly stated by other reviewers about a Lou Ferrigno lookalike n we have Donald Pleasance with a unique crown on his bald head. Saw this in the early 90s on a vhs. Revisited da 79 mins cut recently.

"The Last Days of Pompei" European style

[jordondave-28085 · 6/10 · 31 July 2023]

(1987) Warrior Queen HISTORICAL ACTION DRAMA

My rating is strictly for it's entertainment value, as I have seen my fair share of quick cash spaghetti gladiator movies. I appreciate the fact there is nothing sugar coating about the Roman-like environment, and the last days of Pompeii is no different different. It has Warrior Queen, Berenice (Sybil Danning) her traveling troupe being attacked by bandits in search of gold and jewels. And of course, Berenice kills them in an unconvincing manner before she stops by at Pompeii, dropping by at the middle of a slave selling bidding war. That has a ruthless slave owner, Victo (David Brandon) winning to own supposed virgin of Vespa (Tally Chanel) and two young couple who are in love with each other of Roberto (Mario Cruciani) and Veneria (Suzanna Smith). Donald Pleasence also stars as Clodius the ruler of Pompeii married to sleazy trophy wife, Philomena (Samantha Fox) who is in love with idealist, Marcus (Rick Hill).

There is a soap opera element to this, and although it's low budget and that majority of the fights looked fake, some of the nude scenes looked real, as well as the cruel way how people are treated is real. And without sugar coating it, the implications in regarding the gladiator games are innovative, even though it may not be exactly the way it happened such as the a razor sharp frisbee like blade, and two gladiator's swinging back and forth from opposite sides each wearing a spiked glove.

The implication that there is nudity and make out scenes happening throughout is false, as there was barely any in the last 35 minutes as I had set there's a soap opera. Element into this. It's sometimes be boring if gladiator times like Spartacus, Troy, Cleopatra and Ben-Hur to name a few are sugar coated to suit family oriented viewers when we both know that is not how it used to be back then.

Adult flesh, warrior tale is indeed a worry

[videorama-759-859391 · 4/10 · 17 April 2014]

Yes, here a caligul'ish mostly drone tale again, of big hunk, acquiring a young naked philly, and taking her virginity. This is another cliché'd tale of Pagon, Rome, it's ulterior motive, a skin and naked flesh sex romp, to get some people off, trying to hide under the facade of a genuine grade B action romp. Danning is the heiress. Watching her and her master, Pleasance (wasted yet again) play off each other is fun, but the real reason, for watching this pic is just to see some beautiful Phillies naked, and probably see some blood spilled in some shock scenes, where the upside here is, at least it's a better watch then the dreaded Caligula, where a lot of devote fans of that one, would laugh this one off. Idiots. Too it's nice to see hot sexy Danning, (an underrated B actress)kick arse. strictly a pic, for undemanding shock/bird watching audience, which I gather is a lot.

I was cheering for the volcano....

[JoeB131 · 2/10 · 18 October 2020]

This was kind of a cheap exploitation film about ancient Rome, where a group of new slaves are sold off to be prostitutes and gladiators, because career choices were limited in Ancient Rome and they didn't actually give you choices.

Donald Pleasence is here as a smarmy Roman official, and Sybil Danning plays Berenice, the mistress of Roman emperor Titus.

The movie suffers from a lot of bad editing and no real plot. Berenice intervenes to help slaves but lets them keep being slaves... Then the Volcano erupts, and you have a lot of stock footage of Lava... and the characters you don't like all die. Of course, there were no characters you don't like.

Extra star for nudity...the most off putting nudity I've seen since a later Ed Wood film.

good video cover, dreadful movie

[movieman_kev · 1/10 · 28 May 2005]

The writer who had a hand in the ultra-crap Gor films also helped write this awful flick about slaves in ancient Pompeii and the queen who helps them escape. Even with the abundant nudity, this film still can't be saved from a stupid storyline, abysmal acting, and just plain being boring. It was a tough chore sitting through this tedious moronic movie. The late great Donald Pleasence is slumming and wasted in this.I mean Sybil Danning I expect, she choose to do "Howling 2", so her sense of picking good films was never exactly the best. Simply dreadful in every sense of the word.

My Grade: F

I wouldn't even worry about historical accuracy and Sybil hits rock bottom.

[PCC0921 · 1/10 · 18 September 2020]

This film is a mess. These people can't even kiss correctly on camera, let alone have a sword fight, throw a believable kick or deliver a line of dialogue (there isn't a lot of dialogue by the way. Many scenes go by the way speechless). Donald Pleasence, on break from the Halloween movies, gives probably his worst performance ever. The rest of the cast moves around like mindless zombies. Why Donald chose to do this movie is anybody's guess. I'm going with, he got a free trip to Italy in exchange for being in this.

When your film is more embarrassing then Plan 9 From Outer Space (1959) or Corman's Sorceress (1982), you have achieved a goal like none other. Wow! This is bad. If it wasn't for the attempts at costumes, maybe a punch or two that looked believable and they spent their last couple hundred bucks on the volcano scene (I have no idea what they spent on the volcano scene, but I think I can even afford it), this would be a total loss for the night. I wouldn't even worry about historical accuracy. Let's get past any accuracy first. Oh and you thought Sybil Danning couldn't do worse than Howling II (1985)?

1 (Unwatchable MyGrade) = 1 IMDB

Warrior Queen

[Prismark10 · 2/10 · 3 March 2024]

This is basically a tamer version of Caligula. Director Chuck Vincent made his own share of porn movies with a sideline of softcore action movies.

Clodius (Donald Pleasence) is the Pompeii official who enjoys sex, debauchery and keeping his wife Philomena (Samantha Fox) frustrated. She has lusty eyes on a gladiatorial hunk Marcus.

The Warrior Queen is Sybil Danning. She wears a skimpy costume, not say much and has an interest in saving beautiful Vespa. She is the virgin that has been found, untouched by male hands.

Vespa's presence in Pompeii drive the men wild, who all bid to spend the night with her. Goliath a rival gladiator is determined to get his wicked ways and ride Vespa.

The Warrior Queen does not actually do much here. There are gladiatorial contests that are badly staged. There is some gore, plenty of nudity, bad acting. The movie is drivel. It is not even bad camp.

When the volcano erupts, stock footage is used from The Last Days of Pompeii.

another fine mess

[gymel · 2/10 · 18 October 2021]

It made me long for the unlicensed pharmaceuticals I haven't used in three decades.

Could be a great drinking game, boob drink, stab drink, scrawny chick defeats Roman soldier,............... Sadly, I also eschew the grape.

Sigh.

A Long Shower

[bemyfriend-40184 · 5/10 · 15 September 2021]

You'll want a long shower after watching this. If Rome was corrupt, how are we less corrupt for enjoying the same licentious entertainments? But anyways... Sybil Danning portrays the Biblical figure, Berenice. She implies she is a Jewess, and sympathizes with the slaves, whom have been brought from Judea. She has a couple of fights, and chases away the giant Lou Ferrigno clone. The heroic guy kills him, and gets the girl; while Vesuvius erupts and destroys Pompeii. If you like flesh, there is some. Although in the 21st century, this old flick might not be your first choice. If you like fighting, there is a little. If you like drama, there isn't much. Nor is there much of a plot. Seen on Tubi, the free streaming site, which has an odd variety of old TV, live TV, and old movies.

An UnPleasence Experience

[NoDakTatum · 1/10 · 9 October 2023]

This godawful nightmare goes down in my personal cinematic history as one of the worst films I have ever seen. Sybil Danning is Queen Berenice, who according to the plot summary, moves amongst the royalty in ancient Pompeii, secretly helping slaves escape from their masters. She is kowtowed to by Clodius (Donald Pleasence, hamming it up for that sweet payday), but in all actuality she doesn't really "help" any of the slaves escape thanks to the local volcano and an absolute buttload of stock footage. Coming from director Chuck Vincent, and featuring an adult film star (Samantha Fox, who gives an okay performance), a certain level of cheesiness could be expected, but the film makers don't take advantage of their Italian locations, and don't seem to be trying to make a coherent film. This is a shortened 69 minute version (which feels twice as long), and I don't want to hunt down the 79 minutes director's cut anytime soon. At one point, Danning is yawning at Pleasence's efforts to impress her, and I thought maybe she was viewing a rough cut of the film to get her somnambulist reaction. Like Pleasence, she shows up for the check, delivering a handful of lines and taking part in embarrassingly staged fights. Watch out for bouncing boulders and smoke machines!

I just can't...

[cujoe_da_man · 3/10 · 3 August 2021]

I'm literally only a half hour in and I'm bored out of my mind. I was lucky... if you can call it that... to find a 79min version of this movie, a direct rip from a fairly bad VHS copy, but I did find it. I think if I had the shorter copy that I would still be checking my watch. I'm certainly no prude, I see a pretty girl flash a bit of skin (or more) and it tickles the senses a bit, but it's usually followed by a plot of some kind that at least keeps your attention. This movie... there is no plot. I repeat a lot of what other reviewers have already said about the (non) acting of Sybil Danning (not that she was Oscar material to begin with) and the obvious over(re)acting of Donald Pleasence. He can certainly ham it up like many other actors, but there was nothing for him to play off of in this movie, I felt like he was literally carrying the whole movie and trying to make his character work, but with nothing to work with.

I think what bugs me the most about the acting is no one even attempted to un-Americanize the dialogue. There have always been pure American actors playing Greek/Roman characters, but for most movies they at least tried to tone down the more modern speech, like saying "have not" instead of "haven't" (bad example, but you get what I mean).

The sets and costumes are ok, but there are a few interiors that just look like someone rented out their house with the open floor plan and just had some pillars put up. The cart at the beginning looks more like it should be at a renfest instead of a movie, it just looks really out of place for the time this is set in. At least it has a chariot! A chariot that looks like it should have had chrome hubcaps and racing stripes. It's not the worst movie I've ever seen, it's just boring.

I'll make it through, it's just gonna take me a bit...

Crass, stupid, unintelligent

[Hayden-86055 · 1/10 · 15 December 2021]

Thought it'd be a laugh, it partially was but some sections were uncomfortable to watch. Donald Pleasance is the only actor featured who holds any sort of respectability and I don't know what made him do this film.

1/10: Mindless film without a plot or proper characters.

Abysmal...

[paul_haakonsen · 2/10 · 4 March 2024]

Well, just within the first minute of the movie, you already can tell what kind of cheesy late 1980s fantasy movie you're in for here. However, I still opted to sit through "Warrior Queen", as it was a movie that I hadn't already seen before.

Writers Rick Marx, Harry Alan Towers and S. C. Dacy put together a script and storyline that proved boring, bland and downright pointless. And I ended up turning off "Warrior Queen" a mere 31 minutes into the ordeal. By then I was just bored to tears, and it felt like I had been sitting through two hours of nothingness already.

There was a lot of pointless nudity that didn't help to promote the narrative, and I guess it was in the movie only for the writers to get to show off nudity and semi-lewd scenes. And it just made the movie all the more sleazy and laughable to sit through. Truth be told, I would much rather have preferred a version of this story without the nudity.

I was somewhat surprised to see the likes of Donald Pleasence, Rick Hill and Sybil Danning on the screen in this movie, in a movie such as this. The acting performances in "Warrior Queen" were actually fairly adequate, especially when taking into consideration the script they had to work with.

Suffice it to say that I am never returning to attempt finish watching "Warrior Queen", it just simply was a movie that failed to entertain me on any levels.

My rating of director Chuck Vincent's 1987 movie "Warrior Queen" lands on a two out of ten stars.