Brighton Beach Memoirs (1986)

Brian Drillinger: Stanley

Photos 

Quotes 

• Stanley : Jesus, how horny can you get?

  Eugene : I don't know. What's the highest score?

• Eugene : I think I'm in love with her.

  Stanley : Well forget it, she's your cousin!

  Eugene : What's wrong with being in love with your cousin?

  Stanley : Because it's against the laws of nature! You can't marry your first cousin, you'll get babies with nine heads!

• Eugene : Stanley, how do girls... do it?

  Stanley : Eugene, I'm dealing with a major problem in my life right now. I don't have time to describe girls masturbating for you!

  Eugene : Just draw me a picture, I brought a pencil. You want crayons? Maybe you should do it in color.

• Eugene : Don't hate me for what I'm going to say.

  Stanley : What is it?

  Eugene : I think Aunt Blanche has a great ass.

  Stanley : They're gonna lock you up in a sex asylum. If I was your sister I wouldn't sleep on the same block as you!

• [Eugene is watching his neighbor undress through a mini telescope] 

  Stanley : What are you doing?

  Eugene : Astronomy. I have to bring in a report tomorrow.

  Stanley : Let me know when she gets to the Milky Way.

• Stanley : I got fired today!

  Eugene : Fired? You mean for good?

  Stanley : You don't get fired temporarily. It's a permanent lifetime firing.

• Eugene : You never told me? What was she like? Was she pretty? How old was she?

  Stanley : Don't start in with me Eugene. Every time I get in trouble, I have to tell you what a naked girl looks like? Do me a favor; go in the bathroom, whack off and grow up by yourself!