Transylvania 6-5000 (1985) User Reviews

Very, VERY silly! BUT... a number of truly funny scenes and nice improvisational touches...

[lathe-of-heaven · 6/10 · 14 September 2019]

Okay, this is a VERY silly film. I hadn't seen it in many years, but I vividly remembered a few scenes really standing out as quite funny to me. I just now re-watched it and I basically came away with the same impression.

If you don't care for really silly physical humour, than you likely won't care for this movie very much. Also, in my lowly and wretched opinion, I didn't think that the last 20 minutes or so were really that good, sadly. Thus the reason I only gave this film a '6'

BUT... FWIW... there are a handful of scenes that are clearly ad-libbed and not scripted. THOSE are the best ones! I think I remember reading several years ago about Michael Richard's scenes, especially at the 'dinner' being completely improvised. And YES, they are super silly, but for some reason I honestly found them very funny. You can easily tell that Jeff Goldblum is genuinely laughing during Richards' antics at the table. And, the scenes between Carol kane and John Byner, especially the very first one in the kitchen which was also improvised, were great! The timing and cadence of their lines back and forth in that first scene are excellent!

But, unfortunately, towards the end they started going for very broad 'Comedy' which was kind of ho-hum. It's interesting to me how so many films that try to be funny or silly usually fall kind of flat. But, in this case, especially with the handful of scenes that I mentioned, I think they came across really well, mainly because they struck me as genuine and spontaneous rather than flatly scripted. I think that if they had kept it more along the lines of the small sight and sound gags rather than going for 'situational' comedy, that would have played to the strengths of the film a lot better.

So, if you like 'Silly' at all, you might find at least some of this film entertaining.

Worth A Watch

[aesgaard41 · 5/10 · 14 June 2002]

I love a good horror comedy, and this movie does a great job poking fun at tabloids, the old movie monsters as well as East Europe. The plot is good, but the script seems written by high school kids with a mismatch of jokes and laughs varying from funny and hilarious to just bad. Some of them shoved down your throat. First off, Goldblum and Begley are a hilarious comedy team; Goldblum acts like some sort of genius in logic with Begley as his gullible foil. Begley is a believer, but Goldblum is a confirmed skeptic with a sense of humor. They are sent to Transylvania to investigate someone masquerading as the Frankenstein monster. Not knowing exactly where the region is, they are told it is over there somewhere. The problem with this is that Transylvania is not a town or a country; it's a region of Romania (the movie was actually filmed in Yugoslavia). Nevertheless, the locals, somehow knowing too much of American culture, have fun teasing these bumbling reporters. Jeffrey Jones is a bit subdued in his acting, but Joe Bologna has a fun time with his role. Michael Richards plays a bellboy doing bad prop comic jokes in order to get Begley to take him to Hollywood. The funniest characters are John Byner and Carol Kane as married servants who have been married too long. He wants to take things easy, but she is still in love with him. In some scenes, Kane is almost as funny and coquettish as Madonna used to be. Geena Davis, however, is woefully miscast as a sex starved lady pretending to be a vampire. As a whole, it's not a bad movie, but the soundtrack is bad and the ending just doesn't measure up to the movie. The whole thing sort of ends anti-climactically with a whimper, but yet, it's still worth a watch.

Comedy has more misses than hits

[dave13-1 · 4/10 · 12 April 2012]

Two tabloid reporters head to modern Transylvania - now a charming eastern European tourist trap - in pursuit of a story about monsters, and find the place over-run with vampires, mummies, werewolves etc. Ed Begley Jr. and Jeff Goldblum have good on-screen chemistry together as the luckless writers, but the script does them few favors. The tone of the movie is all over the place, aiming for wacky and scary by turns, but that sort of approach (familiar to Abbott and Costello fans) takes finesse that is not on display here. The production designers worked hard to create an attractive and convincing modern monster movie setting and mostly succeeded, but the script has a too-many-rewrites-by- committee feel and the material is very weak for the most part. Geena Davis has a very appealing bit as a beautiful vampire wannabe, but most of the supporting performances are not well fleshed out and are occasionally just absurd. Joseph Bologna, as always, chews the scenery outrageously as a mad scientist, plus Michael Richards is just annoying and unfunny as a clumsy bellhop. There are a few genuine laughs here and Davis' first appearance in vampire gear is worth a rewind, but most of the movie is just exasperatingly unfunny and tiresome. Avoid.

Good one

[calabrella · 15 October 2004]

Transylvania 6-5000 is the movie that my siblings and I make inside jokes about and no one ever gets them. This movie is funny. The person that wrote the highly retentive review above is lacking a significant character trait necessary to positively judge such films: persistent immaturity. OK, his mother may be really proud of him. However, the ability to appreciate the validity of Transylvania 6-5000 is unique, and I am quite happy to admit that I am a fan. And believe it or not, I am not a weirdo movie buff who goes out of her way to "appreciate" stupid ass movies. Rather, I look to flicks such as the one in question to remind me so fondly of my 80s childhood. Stupid humor is remarkably cathartic, especially when nostalgia pervades, and that is why I love Transylvania 6-5000. Watch it and love it.

One liners make my life worth living.

Funny... if you're a 7 year old

[liz-berry · 3/10 · 9 April 2011]

I think it's interesting that several people have mentioned remembering this movie from childhood because that's where my recollection came as well. I'm glad I'm not the only one whose childhood included this movie since I was watching it thinking Geena Davis' costume alone makes it not for childish consumption, but it's sort of cartoonish in its sensibilities so maybe kids "got it" better.

I hadn't thought about the movie in over 20 years, but something just made me put it in my Netflix queue -- I remember it being a movie I loved!! I have to say I'm disappointed... you would think a move so packed with famous names would be somehow better. I laughed 1-2x tops. My husband was browsing a joke website while I was watching this and I found myself paying attention to it instead of this.

Some extreme cases of childhood nostalgia can be the only explanation for the positive reviews.

[BA_Harrison · 2/10 · 4 November 2012]

Hey, they've taken the title of an old Glenn Miller hit and replaced Pennsylvania with Transylvania—isn't that hilarious? Well, actually, no, it isn't—and neither is anything else about this film!

A dreadful comedy/horror with a surprisingly decent cast, this has got to be one of the least amusing movie experiences I've ever had. Written and directed by regular Mel Brooks collaborator Rudy De Luca, the film is a desperate attempt to replicate Brooks' 'madcap' style, but which falls flat on its face thanks to the dreadfully weak material and ill-advised improvisational performances that result in some truly ludicrous moments that defy description. Bizarre it most certainly is, but on what plane of existence it could ever be considered funny I really haven't a clue.

Michael Richards baffles as demented butler Fejos; Carol Kane and John Byner irritate as kooky kitchen staff Lupi and Radu; a manic Joseph Bologna maddens as doctor Malavaqua; and Goldblum and Begley Jr. do their utmost to emulate Abbot and Costello's buddy-buddy style banter, but fail in every respect, the pair lacking any chemistry whatsoever. The only person whose performance I enjoyed was Geena Davis, on account of her revealing vampire costume—but even Geena in sexy goth get-up isn't worth sitting through this garbage for.

Unbelievable ludicrous, and yet, not funny

[kneiss1 · 2/10 · 22 October 2010]

I don't understand how a movie can be this silly, and yet not manage to create one funny joke. One ludicrous joke was following the next, yet, all I have been doing, was to shake my head.

I didn't actually find that the actors did a bad job. They did a good job, and interpreted the jokes as good as possible. But nothing could have possibly been saved with this script. And I really have to doubt the actors sanity by deciding to be part of this bad joke.

This might have been the last chance I have been giving the comedy - horror genre. This sort of movies keep disappointing me. I don't know why exactly, because, in theory, there is no reason why jokes should be worse in a horror-comedy compared to a normal comedy. Sadly they are.

Unless you are a fan of police academy, and similar senseless inanities, avoid this movie at all costs.

Whaddaya wanna bet that most people nowadays know this movie better than the song that the title spoofs?

[lee_eisenberg · 7/10 · 24 August 2006]

"Transylvania 6-5000" is the sort of movie that you can only enjoy if you accept low, silly humor. It has moronic reporters Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley Jr. going to Eastern Europe to investigate reports of Frankenstein (and possibly Dracula, the Wolfman, etc). Sure enough, they get a real surprise.

So does this count as a stupid movie? Maybe, but if so, then it's deliberately stupid. And how can one not like the "untie this" scene? Or what happens to the doctor walking in and out of the lab? Overall, "T65" isn't the sort of movie that you watch to have a religious experience; you watch it to get entertained, and I guarantee that you will. Also starring Joseph Bologna, Carol Kane, Jeffrey Jones, John Byner, Geena Davis, Michael Richards and Norman Fell (I assume that Rudy De Luca is the same guy from the Mel Brooks movies).

Oh, and the title spoofs the song "Pennsylvania 6-5000". I know that Glenn Miller did a version of it, but I don't know whether or not he wrote it.

Yeah, who needs lightning when you got all that other s--- to work with?

Mediocre horror spoof.

[gridoon · 4/10 · 14 November 2002]

This comedy has some tolerably funny stuff in it, surrounded by a lot of unfunny stuff. Just about every scene involving the servants of the castle and their silly antics is a waste of time. And the plotting is so sloppy that it makes you wonder if they actually had a script ready before they started filming this, or they were simply making it all up as they went along. (*1/2)

Oddball Performances Make This Tepid Farce Highly Watchable!

[hokeybutt · 7/10 · 31 August 2004]

TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 (3+ outta 5 stars)

I dunno what it is about this movie... I'd be the first to admit that the story is silly and the script is terrible... yet somehow this movie winds up winning me over every time I see it. What saves the movie from tedium and even makes it *memorable* are some of the weird, crazy performances... primarily by a pre-Seinfeld Michael Richards whose loopy servant character is indescribable. He improvised the whole thing... and most of the time it's not even clear WHAT he's trying to do or WHY he's funny... he just IS. Jeff Goldblum and Ed Begley make a good comedy team (seemingly influences by Abbott and Costello more than anything else). Jeffrey Jones, Carol Kane, John Byner, Joseph Bologna and Genna Davis all have their moments as well. The story has two dim-bulb reporters (Goldblum and Begley) going to a small Transylvanian town to track down reports of monster, wolfman and vampire sightings. You are either gonna love this movie or hate it.

Definitely Not a Lost Classic, But Has Its Moments

[gavin6942 · 5/10 · 5 March 2012]

Two reporters (Ed Begley and Jeff Goldblum) travel to a strange castle in Transylvania to investigate the apparent reappearance of Frankenstein's monster...

One would think that with this cast (besides Begley and Goldblum, you have Jeffrey Jones, Geena Davis, Carol Kane and Michael Richards) it would be a non-stop fun romp through Transylvania. But, it really is not all that. While there are some decent jokes, most of them just fall flat or are never really properly explored.

Seeing a pre-Seinfeld Richards is a treat, with his antics being more along the lines of his role in "UHF" (the doofus with the childlike behavior). But although he may be the highlight of the film, he is not enough to carry the entire picture.

I feel like there was a lot of potential here and it was an idea that just never got fully cooked. But, you know, that happens.

I love this movie!

[holliday0531 · 10/10 · 18 March 2006]

I know this movie is so cheezy, but it cracks me up every time I watch it. I grew up watching this movie and I'm sure that had a lot to do with it. It is so great! "Is good, is funny!" My best friend and I use to watch this movie so often that at one point I believe we knew all the words to it. It is not a movie that most people would like watching it for the first time as an adult. I have many fond memories of my friend and I laughing and repeating the lines while we were and weren't watching the movie. The best scenes in the movie are with Michael Richards who plays Fejos. He is absolutely hysterical! I think that he totally made the movie. I think it was a very fun movie.

Amusing B movie

[amPratt33 · 7/10 · 12 July 2006]

I don't agree with the previous comments. I thought this movie was silly and fun. It is not going to strike you as a movie that should have won any awards (and it didn't)! It is a very typical B type movie that spoofs almost every horror movie made. It tackles Frankenstien, Wolf Man, and Dracula. Two reporters head to Transylvania to investigate odd occurrences. What they find is a lot of weird things in this old town. As they investigate further, they find things are not what they seem in this town, and somehow they get caught in the strangest circumstances. The ending is different and very funny. My family used to watch this in the car during long trips. Now as an adult, I think its a great look back at an early Jeff Goldblum and early Michael Richards. Geena Davis has an amusing comedy role as well. Enjoy it as a light hearted comedy. Be careful though, that stupid theme song gets stuck in my head anytime I hear it.

It doesn't make sense

[quietwoodsgrappler · 1/10 · 23 October 2019]

I have never been able too fully understand this film. There are too many characters and sub plots. A lot of the comedy makes no sense at all. The film rapidly downgrades into a series of unrelated events.

When Jeff Met Geena...

[DarthBill · 7 June 2004]

Horror spoof that is probably best remembered as the film where Jeff Goldblum met his future ex-wife Geena Davis and vice versa.

Jeff plays a skeptical tabloid reporter who feels that he is not making any great contributions to the world of journalism who is forced to go on a wild goose chase for in Transylvania with hapless believer Ed Begley Jr. (also the son of their boss). Along the way, they encounter a number of oddballs who are not actual monsters but are really just downtrodden, misunderstood misfits. Among them is Geena Davis as a sex starved vampire wannabe. Geena fell for Ed, but Jeff walked away with her off camera.

Film takes a while to get going but briefly comes alive here and there when a pre-Seinfeld Michael Richards is on screen as a goofy hotel worker. The film also gets a good shot in the arm from Joseph Bologna as the mad scientist whose entire personality changes depending on whether or not he's in his lab. Geena does what she can and Jeff & Ed have their moments as the reporters.

"Good. Everything hurts." - Joe the mad scientist.

"If I didn't keep you chained up, no man in town would be safe!" - another good line from Joe the mad scientist.

Too stupid to be funny and too silly to be scary

[cricketbat · 1/10 · 11 October 2018]

Transylvania 6-5000 is awful, truly awful. I mean, this came from 1985 - the year of Back to the Future, Beverly Hills Cop, Spies Like Us and The Goonies - so studios knew how to make a comedy. What were they thinking when they made this movie? The acting is terrible, the story makes no sense and the humor is, well, nonexistent. It's too stupid to be funny and it's too silly to be scary. What a waste of a movie.

Still waiting for the funny parts

[tadam-51245 · 2/10 · 23 October 2019]

I am watching it right now as I write this review. I'm a little more than halfway through it and nothing has made me even crack a smile yet, much less laugh. Despite having some pretty talented actors among the cast, everything falls flat. Shouting bad dialog in the hope of making it funny doesn't work; it just makes for loud bad dialog. Think of this as a bad "Young Frankenstein". A really, really bad "Young Frankenstein".

Simply unfunny

[Leofwine_draca · 3/10 · 3 September 2019]

TRANSYLVANIA 6-5000 is one of a slew of '80s comedies that utilised tropes and ideas from the horror genre and came out in the wake of that classic hit GHOSTBUSTERS. Most of these aren't very interesting, and this one's one of the weakest yet; I mean, casting Jeff Goldblum of all people in the 'straight man' role was a bad idea from the start. This one was shot in Yugoslavia, where our reporter heroes track down variations on classic monsters (Frankenstein's Monster, the Wolfman, etc.) to no good effect. Jeffrey Jones is as creepy as ever and Geena Davis shows up wearing very little, but that's not a recommendation.

So silly but oh so funny.

[Boba_Fett1138 · 7/10 · 21 April 2011]

Seems like this movie is a case of you'll either love it or hate it. I actually surprisingly much liked it and the movie really made me laugh numerous times!

It's a comedy done Mel Brooks-style. So lots of the humor is being very simplistic and childish and all of the characters are being very over-the-top and crazy. Obviously not a movie to take serious in any way and it's not really being one that tries to make sense with its story. No big surprise this movie feels Mel Brooks like, since director Rudy De Luca has written on a couple of Mel Brooks movies. Not Brooks his best ones though, needs to be said.

It really are the actors and all of its funny one-liners that make this movie such a joy to watch. You can tell that most of the actors were improvising their way through this movie and especially Michael Richards was on a roll with it. His antics really made me laugh.

While watching this movie it's obvious to see how how much fun the actors were having with this movie. This is also really what helps to make this movie such an enjoyable one to watch, even though it's really not being a great movie by any means.

It has quite some well known names in it but some suit their roles better than others. I mean, I'm sorry but I just never saw Ed Begley Jr. as a good comedy actor. Jeff Goldblum, Carol Kane and Jeffrey Jones on the other hand are for instance some great picks for their roles.

They present a plot in this movie but does it really matter? The movie really isn't about its story and once you actually start analyzing it, it is quite a bad and unoriginal story, that doesn't even make sense. I mean, didn't the film-makers know that the Frankenstein creature doesn't come from Transylvania at all and also has nothing to do with it at all. But oh well, I understand that Transylvania has a more familiar ring to it than Vasaria. And there still is a vampire in this movie as well, as is a wolf man. So plenty of well known horror material present in this movie that gets spoofed.

Really too bad that the movie doesn't manage to remain consistently funny and entertaining throughout. It's last half hour or so just isn't up to par with the rest of the movie, probably because they suddenly started to focus more on its plot and story at that point. You could easily do without its last half hour but be sure to watch the first hour though, when you're in for some good silly laughs.

It ain't no "Young Frankenstein" but it's more than good and funny in its own way!

7/10

http://bobafett1138.blogspot.com/

Not even good for a kid

[piznut · 1/10 · 14 March 2006]

I saw this movie originally in the theater, when I was 10. Even at that age the 'humor' was mildly insulting to my adolescent intelligence.

In the past, whenever I would see Ed Begley Jr. or jeff Goldblum I would cringe and start to feel very uncomfortable and even slightly sad. Until I was reminded of the existence of this movie today, I was unsure why I felt that way. Apparently I blocked my memory of this movie yet my negative feelings towards two of the perpetrators remained. Apparently I forgot that I saw this movie but subconsciously mourned the pieces of my soul that had been stolen, nay EATEN by the creators of this inhuman work.

I haven't been brave enough to try watching it as an adult. I imagine that as part of the healing process that I should probably look at confronting this childhood fear so that I can *truly* put it behind me. Some regression therapy and / or hypnosis might not be a bad idea either.

It's a fun movie

[eightman-06788 · 7/10 · 2 June 2019]

Don't judge it by The reviews, it's a fun movie that represented 80's comedy horror at its best. Enjoy it for what it is.

It trudges when it should dance

[danielemerson · 2/10 · 15 November 2019]

Two bickering journalists are sent to Transylvania because their editor thinks that Frankenstein's Monster is real and that he can be found there. A dumb premise, executed badly.

You can see why this flopped so hard. The pace is leaden and the stars don't look like they are enjoying themselves much. Jeff Goldblum seems particularly subdued. Ed Begley's gurning wouldn't be out of place in one of those bone-idle "Scary/Epic/Whatever Movie" knock-offs. You keep expecting at least a dozen Wayans brothers to leap from the undergrowth, mugging to camera in the way they seem to think is so amusing.

So many potentially funny scenes fall flat, and everything is dragged further down by Michael Richards' clumsy slapstick and inane prop comedy, every scene of which seems to go on too long. In fact, the whole movie may be ahead of its time, as far as cinematic bloat goes. Length over content really is all the rage these days in the cinema and on TV, if you value awards over entertaining the audience. Did Roger Corman teach us nothing?

Okay, Geena Davis looks rather fabulous in "that" outfit, but her part is as weakly written as everyone else's. She's pretty much earning the two stars of this review here.

A serious movie that's awful can be hilarious. A comedy that isn't funny - that's just painful. This is not a serious movie. The essentials of this tale could have been turned into something very entertaining, but we got "Transylviania 6-5000" instead..

awesomely hilarious

[ibooklover123 · 10/10 · 18 August 2005]

This movie is possibly my favorite ever. The comedy is at times intelligent, at other times just plain slapstick-style hilarious (micheal richards, slapstick similar to "kramer" from seinfeld style action), and at the best times the movie contains that awesome brand of sarcastic comedy that jeff goldblum is famous for. I love jeff goldblum and certainly all of the other actors of this fine film. Jeffery Jones, whose amazing comedy stylings were also a part of what made Ferris Bueller's day off and beetle juice great movies, brings the same amount of quality acting to this flick. Speaking of beetle juice, i would have to compare this movie with that, they both are extremely funny movies that have horror based plots. Plus, this movie has lobotomy in it!

I hope you have a pleasant stay in TRANSYLVANIA!

[lost-in-limbo · 6/10 · 30 January 2007]

Two tabloid reporters Jack Harrison and Gil Turner travel to Transylvania to cover a story on the monster Frankenstein that was supposedly caught on video footage. The locals discover their reason for being there and laugh of it, but the mayor and local chief of police are hiding something from Jack and Gil. Through their journey to uncover this mystery they encounter many odd characters and weird situations.

Don't childhood memories just seem to make things a lot greater than they actually were? Oh, yes that can happen. And it occurred with this feature. Although I had a fine time with the film, but I remember it being funnier than it was. "Transylvania 6-5000" is a gleefully silly hit and miss lukewarm affair aimed at spoofing the classic mad doctor and monster themes of the early golden years. It has one foot planted in the juvenile pool, while the other is kicking about in clever screwball antics. With so much potential ammo to poke fun at, it falls extremely short, as there seems to be a shortage of gags that stay afloat in the aimlessly overlong, but randomly on-the-spot screenplay. Sight jokes have little input (though Richards thought otherwise) with the main focus more so on the repetitively lagging dialogues and flat stretches. Everything feels like its simply going with the flow. It basically takes half of the movie before the monster investigation takes shape and the ghouls make their appearances. What mostly comes across is embarrassing, rather than humorous. Mel Brooks definitely did a better job of it with "Young Frankenstein (1974)" and oddly enough writer/director Rudy DeLuca co-wrote the screenplays for Brooks': "Silent Movie (1976) and "High Anxiety (1977)". Not to take anything away from DeLuca as he crafts some flashy images amongst loony and jocular moments (like the film's opening involving the reporters getting the story) that do work. Although that's marginally because of the fruitfully campy performances.

The down-to-earth Jeff Goldblum is his usual sophisticated; dry sarcastic self as Jack and the edgy Ed Begley Jr. is good as Jacks' ill-fated partner Gil. The snappily colourful banter and crackling chemistry (that reminds you of "Abbott and Costello Meet Frankenstein") between them worked a treat. The ensemble-supporting cast they got for the feature is rather interesting too. Michael (impulsively creative comic) Richards is absurdly flamboyant as the castle's porter Fejos. Who likes to spontaneously bob up from nowhere and hassle Begley Jr's character with plenty of psychical jokes that turn into amusing results. The weird doll scene that opens Richard's character was a ball and his was a standout in what you could call a prototype for the Kramer character of "Seinfeld". Even his accent reminded me off Borat. A delightfully spunky Geena Davis is desirably teasing as Countess Dracula with a flavorous Bela Lugosi accent. The talented Jeffery Jones is truly fantastic as the suspicious looking two-faced Mayor Lepescu and Joseph Bologna is superb as the erratically minded mad (although he can be nice) scientist. While, Carol Kane can be extremely irritating in her nagging role of Lupi. There's something lovable about her oddball character and her pairing up with John Byner's downtrodden servant Radu that makes it worthwhile. Elizabeth Ellison is there to look pretty and be the token love interest of the story. Another up and down element was the wailing soundtrack has that really tacky, but quite catchy shtick to it. The quickly made project looks like it had a miniature budget and they work around it neatly enough. The workable make-up for the monsters are impressively done (though the werewolf is pretty plain) for this type of feature. The title happens to be a pun of a Glen Miller big band tune and also happened to be a title of a Warner Brothers' Bugs Bunny cartoon.

I find it hard not be charmed by this ridiculously mad-hat comedy with its pleasantly well-shot Yugoslavia locations and unusual characters. It can be quite forced on the humour front and rely to heavily on its actors' presences, but I'm still slightly enlightened by it even though it didn't impress me like it did when first encountered it.

Side-note: The interestingly informative and highly witty DVD commentary track involving Director/writer Rudy DeLuca and visual consultant Steve Haberman is a real hoot.

The worst film I have ever seen

[Godot1st · 1/10 · 25 July 1999]

Were I not with friends, and so cheap, I would have walked out. It failed miserably as satire and didn't even have the redemption of camp.