Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire (1985) Poster

User Reviews

Review this title
15 Reviews
Sort by:
Filter by Rating:
5/10
Bizarre
garethm-26 November 2003
As a long time snooker fan I'd heard whispers about this film for years and it was only recently after months of searching that I finally managed to get hold of a copy. It's true that only Channel 4 in its early days could throw up something as bizarre as Billy the Kid and The Green Baize Vampire. By the same token snooker was the most popular sport in Britain in the mid-80's so making a film about it and its rivalries (players, managers, fans and everything that they stood for) was perhaps less of a risk then compared to how it might now seem.

As sports films go it's not bad but neither is it great. Perhaps the most unfortunate thing about the film is that the real snooker world was throwing up its own unparalleled sporting drama at the time, be it the black ball finish in the 1985 World Championship between Dennis Taylor and Steve Davis or, more to the point, the riveting rivalry between Davis and Alex Higgins who really were like chalk and cheese. One had a squeaky-clean image, the other was a lovable rogue with a penchant for vices and they both hated each other's guts. The rivalry between Maxwell and Billy or indeed the players they are based on (Dracula look-alike Ray Reardon and new kid on the block Jimmy White) could never evoke the same passions and even then Phil Daniels and Alun Armstrong, talented as they are, are slightly unconvincing here. Like most young upstarts Daniels (resembling Dexy's Kevin Rowland more than Jimmy White) reels off a few cocky taunts but he's far from the booze fuelled, authority-hating and downright rude figure that Higgins was. The whole thing feels like little more than your token pre-match jibing session and it's not helped by the fact that the humour is laboured as well. Granted, the idea of both players having completely different sets of followers and standing for completely different ideals and generations is well handled but even then a far better illustration of this would be to witness the audience reaction when Higgins and Davis crossed cues in front of 3,000 people in the 1985 Masters at the Wembley Conference Centre.

In saying all this I think it's important to appreciate how difficult an obscure project like this must have been to tackle and those who did so obviously weren't afraid of trying something different. Furthermore even though this film ends up being something of a failure it does nevertheless contain enough flashes of brilliance to convince you that there is a really unique talent behind it all and one that has done or probably could do a lot better. Despite being entirely studio bound and having a limited budget, the whole thing is shot with real class and looks wonderfully expensive. I love the dimly lit snooker halls, Maxwell's creepy pad really brings those fantasy images of Reardon to life, there are a few memorable quotes and the costume department do a good job here too. It's also worth noting that there is none of that dodgy editing, typical of sports movies, whereby a player hits a ball a mile away from the pocket and yet it miraculously manages to reach its intended target. As for the music, well, it's a little bit uninspired and at times feels like it's fleshing out a script lacking in ideas but the film does open with an excellent jaunty sax sore, evoking shades of Francis Monkman's score for The Long Good Friday, and Billy launches his comeback near the end to the strains of a catchy little piece called 'The Fame Game'. Alan Clarke was, of course, the man behind it all and while this is ultimately one of his less memorable moments it was nonetheless an interesting little venture/ indulgence.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
My word... others have seen it.
phil_hicks@hotmail.com11 October 2004
And I thought I was alone too.

My mates laughed in my face when I mentioned a film called 'Billy the Kid and the Green Baize Vampire'.

I showed them the IMDb listing and the laughing stopped but I've never been able to show them the film itself.

Indeed I've not seen the film for at least 15 years.

I remember it from my childhood. I taped it from Channel 4 in a top-loading VHS recorder. I used to tape loads of films.

I remember its unique quirky style - its odd songs and that character that undoubtedly was a nod to Ray Readon the classic 'vampire' snooker player.

Alas through the years it was taped over - no doubt with a bond movie and I've not seen it since.

I doubt it will appear on DVD as its not quite mass-market material. But what a lovely off-beat film. I'd love to see it again.

"Green stamps...." (Spooky)

Cheers Phil
6 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
3/10
A misjudged 80s Rocky Horror inspired wannaba!
The-Last-Prydonian8 December 2023
Billy "The Kid" is the super-talented yet cocky, cockney snooker player who has the potential to dethrone six-time world champion snooker king Maxwell Randall. Going by the moniker The Green Baize Vampire he has nothing but disdain for the lad who he sees as a young upstart. The Kid's manager, T. O. (The One), is a compulsive gambler who falls into debt with the ruthless and psychotic loan shark the Wednesday Man. He offers to cancel T. O.'s debt if he can arrange a 17-frame grudge snooker match between Billy and Randall. With nothing to lose (apart from T. O.) and everything to gain, can Billy defeat his older rival and take his place as world champ?

What was the latest project from TV and film director Alan Clarke whose work had mainly consisted of that made for the small screen, Billy the Kid & the Green Baize Vampire was something of a departure for whose work comprised largely of that which dealt with social realism and deprived or oppressed communities. Perfect examples have been Scum, Made in Britain, and Rita Sue & Bob Too. Experimental in nature, and no doubt an attempt by Clarke to expand on his directorial range, this surreal and bizarre Indy musical, which undoubtedly attempts to be an eighties answer to The Rocky Horror Picture Show lacks any of the inspired madness, flamboyance or panache of Richard O' Brien's camp classic.

Purely studio-bound, with no location filming whatsoever, although Clarke had originally intended for there to be so. It was filmed completely at Twickenham Studios in London which ultimately lends it something of a theatrical feel. Although does the movie no favors, no doubt due to budgetary restraints its sets look artificial and all too stagy. Rocky Horror on the other hand, although shot on minimal finances had the luxury of being filmed on location, partly in Oakley Court, a country house near Maidenhead, Berkshire. However, this is the last of the movie's problems, the one most transparent being that of all the sports that Clarke selects to revolve his musical around, he chooses Snooker. Not the most electrifying or involving of spectator sports, and given the limiting nature of its players having to play around a four-sided square snooker table, you can bet your bottom dollar there will be little if any showstopping dance numbers. In fact. There's none at all!

The movie's surreal tone and its relatively idiosyncratic characters as well as the quirky parallel version of London that Clarke has created merely seem to be so for the sake of it. While Rocky Horror was at least a pastiche of 1950s genre B-Movies of the 50s Horror and Science-fiction, this Isn't sending up anything and is just apeing at least in terms of inspiration a vastly superior camp musical comedy classic. It is to his detriment that into the mix, Clarke throws in an operatic aria performed by Alun Armstrong which feels out of place within the otherwise retro-punk tone.

If Clarke gets something right it's at the very least the casting, with the role of the eponymous and cocksure Billy the Kid fitting then 26-year-old Phil Daniels like a glove. Essentially playing a variation on his role as young London Mod Jimmy in Quadrophenia. The aforementioned Armstrong gives it his all and is superbly supercilious and slimy as northern English Randall, the Green Baize Vampire. Somehow, even though he should appear embarrassed playing a snooker playing Dracula wannabe. He just manages to pull it off, although that's more than can be said for his brave attempt to pull off a misjudged operatic performance in a retro-punk musical. Bruce Payne, who had incidentally played Dr. Frank N Furter in Rocky Horror on stage, and was arguably the most accomplished and powerful vocalist on hand is ideally cast as Billy's equally cocky and cheeky T. O. With equal amounts of bravado and swaggering confidence, he is something of a melding of more youthful Del Boy Trotter and Boycie from Only Fools & Horses.

It helps to some degree that the songs written and composed by composer George Fenton are pretty catchy, with particular standouts being Supersonic Sam's Sonic Cafe, I'm the One, and The Fame Game. However, they're not enough to pull it from the sinking mire of a movie that is at best patchily written, with some less-than-memorable side characters, some of which consist of Billy's chavish circle of fellow cockney mates and Louise Gold's journalist Miss Sullivan, who is on hand as a means to assist in flushing out the movie's plot, that of it that there is. At least we get to see the welcome inclusion of Richard Ridings whose film credits include Who Framed Roger Rabbit and The Pianist, as Billy's gentle-natured Minder Egypt. While those with an even keener eye may spot a young Caroline Quentin as one of Billy's chorus of friends.

Billy the Kid & the Green Baize is a failure on nearly all counts, although it just has enough if scant virtues to save it from being entirely dire. If it is ever to be watched it's due to sheer curiosity value due to some of the actors involved as well as its offbeat if misjudged premise and its miscalculated execution. File under O for obscure but mild curio of a failure.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Wonderfully surreal, bizarrely humourous and sod all to do with vampires.
THFC6 January 1999
This is no ordinary musical. The plot is simple enough: Maxwell Randall (the Green Baize Vampire) is six times world snooker champion and Billy Kid is the cocky young upstart looking to steal his crown. Add to them T.O. (The One), Billy's wide boy manager, the Wednesday Man, to whom T.O. owes a large gambling debt, and Miss Sullivan, a trouble making journalist, and there you have it (apart from two sets of hangers on who make up the chorus). Basically, Maxwell wants to set up a grudge match (the loser will never play professional snooker again), the Wednesday Man tricks T.O. into accepting the challenge by assuring him that Maxwell will not be "at his best", and Billy finds that he has been set up to lose.

What makes this peculiar film work is the stark, to-the-point direction of Alan Clarke (responsible for such hard hitting productions as "Scum" and "The Firm") the rock/opera influenced music of the highly respected composer George Fenton ("The Madness of King George", "Cry Freedom", "Gandhi" etc.) and the clever scripting and original lyrics of Trevor Preston. Take into account three wonderfully tongue-in-cheek central performances from Phil Daniels (Billy), Alun Armstrong (Maxwell) and Bruce Payne (T.O.) and you have the ingredients for what I am quite happy to admit is my all time favourite film. There are those who may say that Clarke, Fenton, Daniels, Armstrong and Payne must have taken leave of their senses to agree to do such a downright weird project in the first place (I have a feeling that at least one of the above might even agree with those detractors) but I can't see anything wrong with a musical about snooker that includes references to Bela Lugosi and arcade games, has characters tangoing about and shooting snooker balls into pockets with the help of a revolver and basically, sends itself up with obvious glee.

I'd be the first to admit that the three lead actors have all done a great deal more admirable work than this. I've seen Alun Armstrong in countless stage productions and he never fails to impress. Bruce Payne was nothing short of breathtaking in Steven Berkoff's "Greek" and Phil Daniels as Alex in the RSC's "A Clockwork Orange" is still one of the most outstanding performances I've ever seen from any actor, on any stage, anywhere. However, I will always remain particularly fond of the off-the-wall characters that the three brought to life in this wonderful film and I don't care what anyone else says, I think it's just great.

If you haven't already seen "Billy the Kid & the Green Baize Vampire" you'll be extremely lucky if you ever do. It was first shown on UK television in the mid-eighties and has, I think, been repeated just once. Zenith Productions sold the rights (or whatever it is they do) some time ago and, search as I may, I've been unable to locate it. I'm just grateful that I had the forethought to tape it when Channel Four showed it all those years ago and only hope that my VCR never gets hungry and chews it up!

My enthusiasm for this film probably does no more than give it a one woman cult following but if there are any more odd little "BTK..." fans out there, please add your comments; it'd be comforting to know that I'm not alone.
6 out of 6 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
9/10
Truly unique
paulduane28 March 2002
I've been wanting to see this movie for years, and just caught a very rare screening at the National Film Theatre. There were maybe twenty people there, and if there was any justice the place would have been standing-room only. Whatever about that, those of us who made it had a good time. This is one of the strangest and most entertaining British films, certainly of the Eighties, and probably of the entire twentieth century. You may be reminded of other movies (I thought of Ken Russell's wild set designs, and also Eraserhead) but there really is nothing to compare it to... The performances are broad, cartoonish even, but well-judged. They never topple over into self-parody. Phil Daniels is as good as ever, but I was especially impressed by Bruce Payne (a new name to me) who does a great job with the least defined role in the movie, 'T.O.', Billy's manager, the weak link in the chain, the craven gambling addict whose need puts Billy in danger of losing his career (but whose eye for the main chance is the reason he has a career at all...) The songs are kind of a mixed bag, bit when they're good (as they are through all of the outlandishly gripping final snooker game) they're much better than 'Tommy', for instance, and Phil Daniel's final stream-of-consciousness number, foreseeing his bright but banal future, wouldn't sound out of place on a Blur CD.... It looks unlikely that this is ever going to come out on video let alone DVD, but if any freakish chance allows you the opportunity to see it, then do. You won't be bored. Bewildered maybe, confused perhaps, laughing like a drain hopefully. But definitely not bored.
5 out of 5 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
So good I've reviewed it twice!
roisinmoriarty-12 April 2002
I've never gone back to comment on a film for a second time before. However, having finally managed to see BTK & the GBV on the big screen (never in a million years did I think I'd get that opportunity) I just had to say a few more words.

I long ago lost count of how often I've seen this film but I was amazed at how much detail is lost when viewing it on a TV screen. Not only can so much more of the background be seen but the actors' expressions are so much clearer, which means the whole event is that much more enjoyable. I also found that the clever and sometimes intricate editing was much more noticable on a larger screen. I didn't mention him in my first review but Stephen Singleton did a brilliant job as editor and it's not surprising to find that he's been such a fixture in the work of various members of the production team.

When the National Film Theatre announced that they were doing a 'Focus on Alan Clarke' season, I didn't think for one moment that his most obscure movie would be included in the line-up. As one of the twenty or so people in that cinema, I sat there with a big grin on my face from beginning to end. I just couldn't believe my luck.

This really is surreal film making at its very best and a fine testimony to the brilliance of the late Alan Clarke.
7 out of 8 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
I thought I was the only one!!!
mrs tweedy13 September 2001
I am a transplanted Brit, and I saw B.T.K. the time it aired on the brand new channel four. I have been in America for years and even the most fiendish film fans I've met here have neither seen nor heard of this film. Such a pity. It is brilliant, funny, and more stylish than Paris in spring. And it's the best title Ever.
4 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Wow...I'm not alone!
shimmy-224 December 2003
How utterly amazing to discover other fans of this iconic musical - OK, maybe a little OTT, but nonetheless, a worthy description. I first saw BTK when I was a demure early-teen, being granted permission to stay up past ten-o-clock. I drifted off to sleep that night with all these bizarre images floating through my head and for many years, hoped I would once again be able to watch this odd little film. Lady luck clearly didn't like any of us, though, did she?

Thus began my quest (and a deep blossoming love of Bruce Payne, receding hairline unnoticed)but without the delights of the internet and technology not on my side, I sat in hope with fading memories of BTK, beginning to wonder if I didn't imagine the whole thing.

Several years later, I forget when exactly, Channel 4 deemed to give us all a repeat performance - thank god for my Saisho VCR (it had cost me £250, earned through a long, hot summer slaving in a cafe at 15) and thereby began my plugging for this wonderful film.

Years on, my copy was just about had it, particularly around 'green stamps', 'wednesday man' and 'the one' (oh how I love TO's fake cockney accent.... let's face it, he was quite posh in that Wesley Snipes movie)from constant reviewing. The VCR did actually out-live the tape.

Whenever asked that ever-popular getting-to-know-you question of 'what's your fave movie?' my reply was always the same. No one else had ever even heard of BTK, let alone seen it.

Imagine my supreme delight on checking my e-mail one day a couple of years ago, to discover an e-mail from a friend, informing me that BTK was to be shown on Film Four the following week. Convinced he had to be wrong, I checked the guide and blow-me-down, there it was! With no ad breaks!!!!!

To this day, I am still trying to educate the masses with the odd little home-screenings and I think we're finally getting through. The indescribable fabulousness of the final credits track has turned me into one of those annoying people who refuses to leave the cinema until the VERY end. What if you were to miss the best bit?!! Well, I never will.

And, as a final note, how tragic that when you try and explain who Phil Daniels is, the only way people know is when you tell them he did the voiceover on Blur's Parklife. Beyond tragic.
6 out of 7 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
A strange film that didn't go far enough with the absurd.
nick wass10 April 1999
A strange little film that never made it at all. It deserved, perhaps, to develop something of a cult following, but this hasn't happened and the film will now, perhaps, slowly vanish from view forever.

Based on a strange and sometimes bewildering snooker match, this musical was never going to make it in the US. Why not? Well, they don't play much snooker in the States for a start but more to the point the film's two main characters are based on Ray Reardon and Jimmie White. These names are very familiar in the UK thanks to extensive snooker coverage on the television, but totally unknown in the USA.

I don't think Clarke was ever really at home directing this movie. It just isn't really his thing - a musical about snooker. He attempted to work in many more optical special effects but most of these were taken out in the final cut - a pity as some were so tongue in cheek that they might just have given the film a better chance of gaining a cult following. Clarke seemed, in the end, to err on the side of caution which is, perhaps, the failing of this film.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
You're not alone...
White-319 November 1999
Nope, you're not alone.. I too loved this film, originally done as part of the Film Four franchise I believe. But after I'd seen it once, it sank without trace and seriously was beginning to believe after 13 years that I'd dreamed it all. I loved the absurd *idea* of a musical about snooker, I loved the songs, I loved Don Henderson's Wednesday Man.. marvellous film. I hope I see it again one day.
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Another frustrated fan leaps out of the closet!!
tohu8 April 2009
Like most of the other comments on this film, mine is not going to be a 'review'. People wanting to know what BTK is 'about' won't get much from the next few paragraphs. Rather, this is a personal tribute - a trip down memory lane and a celebration of a film that meant a lot to me in its time.

Because Yep. I'm another one! I was a teenage snooker addict of the 80s, greedily watching every shot broadcast (and so many were in those days) who couldn't believe my luck when this film came out. And I remember sitting up bleary-eyed to watch it on Channel 4 that late night sometime in 1986 or 87. I too taped it on my family's old VHS video recorder.... but I went a step further than most here and actually transferred it from there onto a maxell audio tape (yes, by sitting the tape recorder in front of the TV and remaining very quiet while it recorded!) so I could listen to it in my bedroom as well!

Well that video has long gone - but believe it or not I still have that audio tape.... somewhere. (not that I need to listen to it. The lyrics and sounds are seared into my memory, so many times did listen to it back then!) And yes, how fantastic it is to come on here and see so many good friends talking of their similar experience. Oh if only the internet had existed back then - we could all have found each other on some online fansite and become friends, rather than believing (universally it seems) that we were isolated; that we were alone in our devotion, that we were, perhaps, "The One"! Ah well. Perhaps it's best that it wasn't submerged in an internet community as films are today. It was frustrating not to be able to share our joy widely (untiol now). But there was something 'pure' about enjoying it alone. It was of its time.

It's been a long time to wait. But this board has proved that, to the small number of us who saw it in the mid 80s, this film will always remain a truly unforgettable little gem, with some of the most outrageously delicious dialogue I've ever heard: "This location is not capricious." Superb! :)
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
Snooker Loopy Alright
Peter-2663 August 2002
I've got to be honest, but I've not seen this film for a good few years. However the first time I saw it ( on a new-ish Channel 4 and about the time it was very fashionable to be able to run a list of the top snooker players of the time as well as know the juicy bits of gossip behind each name) it bewildered and amazed. Bewildered in the sense that someone had made a Musical about Snooker and Amazed that it blimmin well worked so cool and despite not seeing it for so long I can't watch Jimmy White without seeing Phil Daniels. Although the whole film is a blast I particularly remember the closing sequences of the tournament play-off itself specially the music track for the whole sequence (having played and rewound that umpteen times)(Yeah I recorded it, just wish I could find that tape). I was intrigued to know how many of the community knew about this gem and pleased to find that those who do liked it. Pity it`s not avaliable (yet) on VHS or DVD. Here's hoping.
2 out of 2 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
10/10
Fun fact.
michaeljameshughes20 May 2022
My brother was the resident snooker Pro in King's Cross Snooker club, where Phil Daniels used to come and play. He(my brother) qualified for The Crucible,1985 or 1986, and BTK was going to be shown in Sheffield, in what I took to be it's premier(?). Phil and a few of the stars were in attendance, and my brother asked me to show them the highlights of Sheffield, which took a few minutes!!! Phil was great company, but the film was pretty dire tbh.
0 out of 0 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
I feel lucky to have saved a copy of this
gelston17 July 2003
At it's time of making, Snooker Tournaments were big pullers for TV audiances in the UK so it is suprising that this film didn't make it to the cult status that it might have made if repeat showings had taken place. I made an off-air copy onto a Video-8 tape which still plays via a digital camcorder (thank you Mr Sony) though I'm not sure whether it picks up the PCM digital soundtrack. I generally like watching any roles that Phil Daniels played, this may be zany, but it is still good
3 out of 4 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink
The wait is over....
TheWrenfoe6 March 2007
It's on DVD! (At last I can bin my beta-max tape.)

I tried a few years ago to put together a stage version of BTK&GBV but it was quite some task trying to work out who held the performance rights. When I spoke to George Fenton (the EXCEPTIONALLY talented composer) he was flattered by my interest in the score but had no idea if there were any copies still in circulation. Obviously I was disheartened not get any further with the project but worse still is that the film print seemed to have disappeared as well. Thank goodness the DVD has now appeared.

The cast is an interesting selection of talent, mostly seen on British TV rather than the movies. Never the less, an highly original musical - performed with GUSTO!
1 out of 1 found this helpful. Was this review helpful? Sign in to vote.
Permalink

See also

Awards | FAQ | User Ratings | External Reviews | Metacritic Reviews


Recently Viewed