Hollywood Hot Tubs (1984) User Reviews

Nostalgia

[BandSAboutMovies · 5/10 · 7 September 2023]

Chuck Vincent made a lot of residuals off USA Up All Night. So many of his films played so often on the show that it's an even bigger shame that he died in 1991 from AIDS. He also had a deal with the Playboy Channel, so he was definitely doing well before leaving this planet way too soon.

Vincent started in the adult industry and a lot of the things he learned there would serve him well as he made softcore comedies like this movie. Working from a script by Mark Borde (who also wrote Vincent's Summer Camp and would go on to produce 47 Meters Down and Replicas) and Craig Horrall (Bad Blood, Thrilled to Death), this is the tale of Shawn Wright (Paul Gunning), who has defaced the Hollywood sign so that it now reads Hollyweed. He's forced to choose between work and jail, so he's soon working as a hot tub plumber for his Uncle Al (Stafford Morgan) along with Jeff (Michael Andrew).

The guys end up working for all sorts of weird clients, like an aging movie starlet with a hot tub inside her limousine, a theme park run by organized crime and a porn star. Then they get the chance to work with Pam (Remy O'Neill), who is opening a huge apartment complex. Uncle Al is nervous because he's always just been on the wrong side of going out of business. Success frightens him more than failure.

Shawn falls for co-worker Leslie (Donna McDaniel), but you know how the third act works. She catches him in the hot tub all alone with several nude women. Now her brother Jesse (Rex Ryon) wants to kill him. And his probation officer thinks that Uncle Al can't be a legal business owner, so he wants to send Shawn to jail.

The best part of this movie is Crystal Shepard as Pam's valley girl daughter Crystal who, for some reason, has stars in her eyes for Uncle Al. Never doubt the power of daddy talk, I guess.

There are also roles for Katt Shea, who would go onward and upward, directing her own worthy films like Stripped to Kill, Stripped to Kill 2: Live Nude Girls, Streets, Poison Ivy, The Rage: Carrie 2 and Nancy Drew and the Hidden Staircase; Edy Williams (Ashley St. Ives herself!); Florence Schuaffuler (Haggis from Pumpkinhead); Becky LeBeau (Not of This Earth, School Spirit) and Tina Blum (Summer Camp Nightmare).

Just the title is good enough, you know? That may be why there was a sequel, Hollywood Hot Tubs 2: Educating Crustal. That was directed by Kenneth Raich - the co-producer of this movie - and luckily had Shepherd return to the role.

Chuck Vincent should have stuck to pornos.

[Groverdox · 3/10 · 9 January 2019]

These '80s sleaze comedies never get off to a good start. You start watching and think, hey, maybe this one won't be as bad as the others. And then you go straight into the awful bargain basement pop song on the soundtrack while basically nothing happens on screen, and you're just sitting there waiting for it to be over, but of course they want you to hear the whole thing, either because with a movie as low-budgeted as this, songs are big investments, or because the movie had to be padded with a lengthy beginning and end sequence in order to make it fit feature film length. Or both.

The movie begins with the protagonist being arrested. I did not understand why, but Wikipedia says it was for vandalizing the Hollywood sign (it did appear to say "Hollyweed" in the opening sequence).

To avoid the "buttslammers" in prison, as his mother helpfully calls them, the protagonist gets a job as a plumber. Since when did getting a job prevent you from going to prison?

Watching an uncharismatic young man learn plumbing skills is really not my idea of a good time. The movie is so bad that it actually makes you think that that is all it is going to be about. There's nothing about its opening scenes that might take anyone's interest.

Finally, the hero goes to a house to fix a hot tub, and finds a pair of porn stars. Of course they don't have sex - '80s sex comedies never feature any, um, sex - but they get naked and we see the lady's nipples.

When you finally get a good look at the hero's face, he looks scary! His eyes are crazy looking. There is a lengthy scene where the characters play arcade games, which was probably no more interesting to watch in the '80s than it is now.

The movie does an awful job of explaining anything you see happening on screen. Characters do things and the screenplay or direction don't bother to tell you why. There is a scene where one of the guys the hero works with disguises himself and starts speaking in a strange accent when he goes into a place with hot tubs. He then seems to take the disguise off and walks around the place as normal. What was the point of the disguise?

After a while it gets infuriating. So much stuff happening on screen. So little idea what it is and why it is and what you are supposed to feel about it.

A scene in a women's locker room does deliver more topless women than most American sex comedies, but of course, they're only on screen for a few seconds.

The movie seems to be trying for some kind of romance between the protagonist and a girl he works with. This could be the only real narrative thread in the movie, but it is so disjointed that you forget about this so called romance from scene to scene, and the girl could probably do better than the creepy and uncharismatic hero.

There is a scene in a men's locker room, with many bare male butts, and even a penis. I guess Chuck Vincent couldn't suppress his gay pornographer urges.

The movie ends in a party. Whose party? Why? Where? You won't care. The important thing is that it ends, and I hope I'll forget about it as soon as possible.

Jacuzzi junk.

[BA_Harrison · 2/10 · 19 July 2022]

I'm going to do my best to keep this short and sweet, unlike the makers of Hollywood Hot Tubs, who let their atrocious film run for at least a half an hour too long. Directed by adult film maker Chuck Vincent, this pathetic sex comedy is packed with topless women (and a couple of naked men for the sake of equality), but is totally bereft of laughs, the diabolical script and lousy performances resulting in absolute tedium.

Paul Gunning plays obnoxious teenage smart-ass Shawn, whose silly pranks have got him in trouble with the law. Faced with the prospect of jail, Shawn opts for the alternative: a job with his uncle Al (Stafford Morgan), who makes a living in the hot tub repair business. Shawn stumbles from one crazy sexcapade to another, aided and abetted by fellow plumber Jeff, played by Michael Andrew. It's a bit like an American version of '70s UK sex comedy Adventures of a Plumber's Mate, but much worse.

The film ends with broad farce, as a party at Hollywood Hot Tubs gets out of hand: cue women running around with their tits out, a mariachi band, an old horror movie star in a monster costume, and angry bikers.

2.5/10, rounded down to 2 for Jewel Shepard's awful performance as valley girl Crystal, who constantly jiggles her breasts to try and detract from her dreadful accent.

Hot tub hijinks!

[rosscinema · 7/10 · 8 May 2005]

If people keep pressing me I would have to admit that I probably have seen most of the low budget sex comedies that were churned out during the crazy 1980's and for whatever reason this film sticks out (like a sore thumb?) as one of the more memorable. Story is about young Shawn Wright (Paul Gunning) who after sabotaging the infamous Hollywood sign (to Hollyweed) faces either jail or working in plumbing with his uncle Al (Stafford Morgan) at his business.

*****SPOILER ALERT***** At first Al doesn't know what to make of his nephew so he puts employee Jeff Partridge (Michael Andrew) in charge to show him the ropes of plumbing and one of the businesses that they are trying to land as a client is the successful Hollywood Hot Tubs. While working at his new job Shawn also becomes attracted to fellow employee Leslie Maynard (Donna McDaniel) but the motto at work is "plumbing and pleasure don't mix" although he manages to get her to agree to a date. Meanwhile, Jeff lands the Hollywood Hot Tubs account (from his sabotaging) and starts a romance with the owner Pam Landers (Remy O'Neill) but things get out of hand when she finds out what he did and her biker brother shows up to fix his plumbing!

This may sound incredible and most will think I'm crazy but I think this is a fairly well made film and the credit should go to director Chuck Vincent who primarily made a living in porn. The reason (I think) that this effort works is that as basic as the premise is it seems perfect for what the story was trying to accomplish even if you consider these films crude and there's also several good shots of the Hollywood hills. Another reason that this film in the genre stands out is not just the nudity but the nudity that actress Edy Williams supplies in that she appears more comfortable naked than with clothes on. Williams was a very popular B actress and was married to schlock master Russ Meyer and she built her whole career portraying nymphomaniac sexpots to the point that her performances seem totally believable. She loves sex and loves being naked! Actress Jewel Shepard who plays the valley girl daughter of Pam (Like...totally...fer-sure!) makes an impression with her half cut t-shirt and her boobs that jiggle like two mountains of jello in an earthquake. Ironically, she's the only young actress that doesn't appear nude in the film even though her career was built around nude scenes. One thing about the story that I thought was odd was the character Edgar Blood (Victor Marko) who was supposed to be this horror film actor who was really a monster and this felt out of tune with the rest of the film. Again, call me crazy but the last 30 minutes of this film resembled "What's New, Pussycat?" where we see total chaos with the characters running around the Hollywood Hot Tubs and this gives the film a sense of kinetic and frenzied playfulness. The only thing that irked me was the beginning when actor Gunning was painfully trying to be funny but he possesses the comedic ability of Miles O'Keeffe and the lines he utters just didn't work. If your a fan of these 1980's sex comedies you will undoubtedly remember this fun and sexy effort and for those who haven't maybe my comments will convince them to give this a peek.

Wow - Hidden Treasures!

[shark-43 · 9/10 · 11 August 2006]

Now, this is an AWFUL movie but it is also one of those trainwreck gems where everything is so bad, so off, so wrong that you will laugh your ass off with your friends and the right kinds of "drinks" and "stuff". The acting is terrible and this film has a performance that stands there with one of the worst performances ever captured on film (and yes, WORSE then the teenage girl in TROLL 2). A girl places a Valley bimbo named Crystal and first off, she CANT do a Valley Girl impression! Not at all. Right now, you could stop an old person on the street and ask them to do one and it will be better than what this girl does. But the director must be tone-deaf because he has her do ot ALL THE TIME plus she wears those frayed, cut off t-shirts and jiggles her breasts all the time. It is so disturbing. This movie is unbelievable - it has EVERYTHING and EVERY Cliché - a potty-mouthed granny, a drunk monkey, Japanese tourists taking pictures, topless bimbos, bikers who beat up everyone, you name it! The plot (that that there is) a young teen pulls a prank and to be punished is forced to read this script! No - but he has to go work at hot tub company and oh, the hi jinx ensue! This movie is a winner as a loser!