Hard Knox (1984 TV Movie) User Reviews

It ain't Taps

[safenoe · 6/10 · 22 September 2016]

I remember this film Hard Knox, and it followed three years after Taps. Hard Knox is the type of movie you can watch on a Sunday afternoon with the Church youth group and be ratings safe and come out clean. Alan Ruck was a youngster in this movie, before he hit fame in Spin City.

If Taps is politically incorrect, then Hard Knox is the politically correct antidote. I would like to see a director's or actors' commentary on this, and for the child actors to look back, the fun they had on the set, the laughter, etc. If Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory can reunite the kids after 30 years, then why not Hard Knox? Okay, okay, maybe they aren't in the same league (Hard Knox doesn't feature Gene Wilder) but still.

Pretty Bland Even for Conrad

[zardoz-13 · 5/10 · 25 June 2014]

Robert Conrad's career could be split into two categories. Those movies and television shows where Conrad shed his shirt versus those where he didn't shed his shirt. Conrad doesn't shed his shirt in "Hard Knox," a lukewarm, made-for-television comedy about family-oriented issues about life in a private military school. Basically, "Hard Knox" resembles the Charlton Heston comedy "The Private War of Major Benson" (1953) and later "Major Payne" with Damon Wayans. The protagonist is a seasoned military professional in some wing of the service who finds himself out of favor. In "The Private War of Major Benson," an ostracized Heston had to improve poor performance at a military high school. "Hard Knox" anticipates "Top Gun" with its footage of Conrad training pilots. Later, he learns the terrible news that the doctors have grounded him. He returns to his alma mater to take over as commandant of the academy. Essentially, Knox makes everybody shape up and he gets help from his sidekick, Thomas 'Top' Tuttle (Red West of "Walking Tall") joins him and finds discipline in shambles. Most of the cadets come from dysfunctional families and they don't feel too good about themselves. "Hard Knox" appears to have been carefully crafted. Nothing more really surprising happens in this made-for-television pilot. Some kids are more obnoxious than others. Ultimately, the action works itself up to a mock-battle between one academy and the one commanded by Conrad. Remember the war between the armies in "The Dirty Dozen?" Each side has to infiltrate their own territory to steal a flag. The plot potential seems bottomless, but none of the cadets are remotely charismatic enough. Conrad isn't in every shot. He expresses doubt in himself at one point, which doesn't seem characteristic of the typical Conrad hero. The producers inflict upon us a no smoking message with Top surrendering his cigarettes to a pretty, little, girl cadet. Initially, Colonel Joe Knox has some tense moments between our hero and the academic principal. They talk tough to each other, but the fireworks never explode between them. Everything works out in the end. Conrad's Colonel Knox was given two weeks to see what he could do. "Hard Knox" could have been a better melodrama/comedy.

Same characters, different names

[lurch-15 · 11 June 2004]

I liked Conrad-and-West as Gregory Boyington-and-Sergeant Andy Micklin in 'Black Sheep'...er, I mean as Duke Ramsey-and-Sergeant O'Brien in 'The Duke'...er, I mean as Coach Brandon-and-Superintendent Turner in 'Coach Of The year'...er, I mean as Colonel Knox-and-Gunnery Sergeant Tuttle in 'Hard Knox'. Two actors with very well-developed 'signature characters' [of which the best-known example is Burt Reynolds playing a hard-driving good IL' boy] playing those characters yet again in yet another enjoyable bit of pulp-fluff. It's certainly not classic cinema, it's not Citizen Kane, it won't do the job when I'm in the mood for Steinbeck, but the 'signature character buddies' formula works for these guys...it's one of the better feel-good good-vibes flicks I've yet seen.

A retired Air Force colonel who takes himself way too seriously becomes dean of a co-ed military academy, followed by 90 straight minutes of every possible movie cliché.

[bsmithiii · 9/10 · 13 May 2005]

"Hard Knox" is quite possibly the worst movie ever made, and I mean that as a serious compliment. Too many bad movies have some kind of redeeming quality to them -- an occasional funny line, a genuine moment of drama or romance or horror -- which makes them wholly unremarkable movies.

Fortunately, Hard Knox has none of those. The entire dialog and plot consists of one bad cliché after another. If these two-dimensional characters were any flatter, they'd be invisible. About 95% of the movie takes place in one setting -- the military academy -- so sadly, there's no bonus points for exceptionally bad special effects, but the dialog is so divorced from anything that would ever be uttered in reality, it easily makes up for it.

If you're the kind of viewer who enjoys really bad movies, I'd highly recommend dragging out the bong and throwing this bad boy on. But if you have a low tolerance of absolute sh*t, well, you'll probably never stumble across this movie anyways.

I hadn't realized how stereotyped military school movies are

[budikavlan · 12 December 2002]

This is like every last one of them: gruff but good leader, good boys who take their place as leaders, bad boys who learn to better channel their energy, wimpy boys who find strength, jokers who get serious, enemies who become friends, war games between factions, girls who get respect, etc., etc., and on and on.... This one has all of them. The light scenes get a few laughs, the suspense scenes are mildly tense, and the touching scenes bring tears to your eyes (not really). All in all, if you have a choice between watching this movie and cleaning the bathroom, I recommend watching this.