Bottle Boys (TV Series 1984–1985) Poster

(1984–1985)

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5/10
It Exists!
wilsonstuart-323468 February 2020
For 30 odd years I wondered if this show was a figment of my imagination! The theme song still lingers in my head, even after all these years.

Glad my worries have been put to rest. And did *anyone* go and see Robin Askwith theatrical version of Run For Wife?!
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Truly Awful Sitcom
i-iz-matty29 January 2004
In Britain, there's has been a long tradition of innuendo-filled jokes about amorous milkmen and bored housewives - however this show had an early evening time slot on LWT and so couldn't be as smutty as Robin Askwith's famous "confessions" seventies movies. It was also broadcast in the mid 80's, when this style of humor had well and truly passed it's sell-by date. It wasn't a huge success, and only lasted a couple of years.

The scary thing is that I still remember the words to the theme song - it pretty much sums up the whole show!

Bottle boys, bottle boys,

Up with the lark,

Who cares if it's raining,

Who cares if it's dark,

There's a whole lot of bottle boys taking a pride,

In making sure each customer is satisfied!

Milk, eggs and butter - got them all on the float,

Anything you're short of darlin' leave us a note,

Oh, you'll be glad you wrote it when you hear the noise,

Of the rattle of the bottles of the bottle boys!!
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2/10
Painful
chitara-6917010 June 2020
This show would probably have worked in 1972, as a bawdier version of "On the buses", but by 1984 the clichés of the randy milkman, the buxom secretary, the drunk Scotsman, and the laid back West Indian were well past their sell by date. The only member of the cast who actually looked like a milkman was one of the extras, given a name (Ernie), but no dialogue, even when somebody spoke to him. Given the poor quality of the writing, perhaps that was not a bad thing.

If you like Robin Askwith, and early seventies bawdy comedy, stick with his " Confessions" films, which are at least amusing in a silly kind of way. Don't bother with this.
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9/10
''Who cares if its raining, who cares if its dark!''
Rabical-9126 October 2016
Warning: Spoilers
This relatively short running sitcom, 'Bottle Boys', broadcast by London Weekend Television, has been oft-regarded as the worst sitcom British television has produced, a reputation I find wholly unfair, particularly in an era of Keith Lemon, Frankie Boyle, Ricky Gervais and ( ye gods! ) 'Gary - Tank Commander'. People who probably were not even born when this show was out will blatantly tell you how bad it is and say that it 'should never be seen again' ( Zoe Ball and Kate Thornton laid into it on the '100 Greatest TV Moments From Hell' documentary many years back, claiming that the show was 'milking the laughs'. Ho ho ). True, it was crude, smutty, sexist and remarkably unsubtle, but ( in the words of the late Clarke Gable ) frankly my dears, I don't give a damn. It made me laugh and that's all that concerns me. Besides, bearing in mind that it starred Robin Askwith ( the lead of the infamous 'Confessions' movies ), was written by Vince Powell ( one half of the writing team behind shows such as 'Never Mind The Quality, Feel The Width' and 'Love Thy Neighbour' ) and was produced by Stuart Allen ( who worked for many years on 'On The Buses' ), would it not perhaps be a stretch of the imagination to expect Freud?

The central character is Dave Deacon, a young Cockney lad employed by Dawson's Dairies where his boss is grumpy Welshman Stan Evans ( played wonderfully by the late Richard Davies ), who also has a busty ( as well as incompetent ) secretary in the shape of Sharon ( the stunningly beautiful Eve Ferret ). Dave's colleagues include Jamacian womaniser Joe Phillips ( the underrated Oscar James ), dim-witted teddy-boy Billy Watson ( David Auker ) who had an unfortunate habit of landing Dave in hot water and drunken Scotsman Jock Collins ( the much missed Phil McCall ). Leo Dolan appeared from time to time as fellow milkman Wilf Foley as did Harry Littlewood as the barman of The Red Lion, Dave's local boozer.

The plots were in truth wafer thin. When a woman came to work at the dairy, Dave went to great lengths to get rid of her, even going as far to propose marriage to her ( as married couples are not allowed to work together at the dairy ), another time he challenged a rival milkman to a fist fight, not considering the fact that he is not cut out for it and on another occasion, Dave became engaged to Sharon, however a series of disasters ensured the wedding did not go ahead. Despite the simplicity of the whole thing, in the hands of Vince Powell it was consistently funny and worth watching.

The part of Dave Deacon was originally written for comedian Jim Davidson but as he was already appearing in Thames Television's 'Up The Elephant & Round The Castle', the part went to Robin Askwith. Watching it now, it is hard to imagine anyone other than Askwith playing the part. It was as though it were written specially for him. The rest of the cast were excellent too, particularly Richard Davies as the constantly grumbling Stan.

One possible explanation for the show's lack of success could be that it arrived at the wrong time. With shows like 'The Young Ones' getting underway, shows like 'Bottle Boys' were out of step with the '80's. It would have lined up much better alongside the likes of 'On The Buses' and 'Bless This House'.

LWT axed the show after two series. Askwith never did another sitcom and it has yet to surface onto DVD. If Network DVD can release something as dire as 'You're Only Young Twice', surely there is no reason why they can't release 'Bottle Boys, is there?
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10/10
One of the best TV shows
darrendawson-374177 December 2019
One of the best old TV shows I wood so love to have on dvd if it was out to buy
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