Microwave Massacre (1979) User Reviews

Don't let my low rating keep you from watching this...

[innocuous · 3/10 · 18 June 2008]

Is MM a good movie? No. Did I enjoy watching it? Yes.

This is one of those films that falls into the "B minus"-movie category. It's sincere in being what it is, but what it is is a lot of schlock.

Oddly, Jackie Vernon is probably one of the weakest parts of this film. His portrayal of a middle-aged blue-collar schlub is just not convincing. (Hmmm...as if any of the other actors are convincing.) I/m sure that this film probably wouldn't have been made at all if he hadn't been attached to the project, but he's just not very good/interesting/funny in his role.

On the bright side, the producers somehow managed to scrape together quite a few pretty good-looking women and get them to take their tops of. In fact, I'm rather surprised that Marla Simons didn't go on to do more films after this one, even if this would have been due to her assets rather than her acting. The nudity in this film is silly rather than titillating and I personally would have given it a PG-13 rating.

Everybody else in the film acts as if they're in a sketch on the Carol Burnett Show, mugging and over-reacting. Some of the jokes and one-liners are pretty funny, just don't expect any real acting. Oh, yeah...and it's not at all scary or even gross.

The only big question that I had after watching this was, "How did the huge, industrial microwave fit into that little shipping box that you see in the beginning of the movie?" Recommended for people who are tired of artsy-fartsy horror films.

You are what you eat

[rooee · 3/10 · 23 July 2016]

Described by its original DVD distributor as "The Worst Horror Movie of All Time", this 1983 black comedy doesn't quite live up to that promise, but it's a close thing. The painted cover art is fantastic, and typically unrepresentative of the lousy content of the film.

Donald (Jackie Vernon) is a depressed, disillusioned construction worker who returns each evening to his frumpy, nagging wife, May (Claire Ginsberg). She feels she doesn't get the gratitude she deserves for "slaving away" at her new microwave all day.

One night Donald snaps and murders May. Naturally, the only way he can destroy the evidence is by cooking and eating her. He gets a taste for it (excuse the pun) and thus begins enticing ladies of the night back to his suburban home. He cooks them and feeds them to his insatiable, ignorant co-workers. Donald is free and he's impressing his new best buddies. What can possibly stop his campaign of cannibalism? Vernon was a stand-up with a distinctive deadpan style, which is entirely incongruous with the farcical events of this story. Combined with the film's weirdly languid pace and Leif Horvath's eerie electronic score, it's quite an unsettling experience – although this is mostly due to it being an outright tonal disaster, rather than any controlled sense of atmosphere.

With the humour and delivery of a 70s sketch show, it's a movie badly in need of canned laughter, if only to inform us of when we're supposed to laugh. Genuine humour comes in the briefest of snatches: Donald's encounter with Dr Van der Fool (Ed Thomas), who doesn't know which side the heart is on; or the scene where May's sister stops by and Donald has to prop May's disembodied head in the bed to pretend she's still alive ("She looks awful pale...").

It's a movie of a mercifully bygone era in which all the women are nags or sluts, although this is par for the course in trash horror of the time. What the flesh sandwich lacks is a juicy layer of satire. Given that the microwave was just becoming a household essential in the 80s, promising the death of the conventional cooker, this has to go down as an opportunity missed – we get none of the consumerist satire of The Stuff, nor the grotesque farce of the more enjoyably outrageous Street Trash.

Microwave Massacre just about claws its way into the midnight movie slot through a certain uniqueness and, frankly, its brevity (it comes in at around 75 minutes). But it's more of a freak-out than a fun time.

Finger licking good B Movie trash

[jonsjunk-2 · 3/10 · 7 July 2009]

Picture in your mind how the actor who did the voice of Frosty the Snowman might have looked. Now imagine that guy having dry-hump sex with random hookers ('Frosty' grunts and groans included), killing and dismembering them, and then cooking them up in the world's most ridiculously huge microwave oven. Or, you can skip that mental exercise and rent this film.

MICROWAVE is light on actual gore but the one-liners are so corny and wooden you'll have plenty of blood shooting from your ears in no time. Here's an example: "I call this dish 'Peking Chick'" WOW.

60-year old Jackie Vernon as the lead delivers his lines with Teddy Ruxpin-like painful deliberateness and all the charisma and sexiness of creamed beef at the senior center buffet. Vernon was a comedian with a trademark deadpan style but he's matched to a script with the comedic depth of a DVD Player's instruction manual. Throw in some editing that appears to have been done with a lighter and a can of hairspray and Vernon doesn't have a chance of making this one funny.

MICROWAVE features a few ridiculous gags and setups, like a naked girl who gets slathered with mayo, covered with a giant piece of wonder bread and then sawed in half. It tries to be fun and light yet is so completely inept it can't even manage self-deprecation without revealing it's low IQ. It's like when the fat kid intentionally trips in gym class to make everyone laugh but ends up hurting himself for real. You don't know whether to laugh, feel sorry for him, or heck, give him a good kick while he's already down. My money is on door number 3. Definitely in the "so bad it's good" universe of films and requires a number of intoxicants coupled with a complete absence of self-respect to wade through.

Horrible Movie, But Thats Why I Love It.

[Chriser · 14 May 2002]

Okay, first off, this is quite possibly the worst movie that I've ever seen. It makes Ed Wood (R.I.P.) movies look like the best movies out there.

The movie follows a construction worker named Donald as he kills his wife when he is mad at her and accidentally eats some of her flesh while looking for a snack. He loves the taste, so he goes out and kills more girls and eats them, occasionally sharing the new meat with his friends. They don't know its human meat, but they like it so Donald keeps giving them the meat.

Okay, and as for the ending, I thought it made sense, but it was still funny. I won't reveal it, but trust me, you will never have guessed what happens.

The special effects are horrible, but I find myself laughing at these more than the jokes in the movie. I love bad SFX, and this one takes the cake in the bad special effects department. Bravo Microwave Massacre.

So see it if you can find it, and if you can't find it, get a bootleg. Its worth it if you like bad movies.

A Cigarette Before Dining or after Sex? Decisions. Decisions...

[BaronBl00d · 5/10 · 2 January 2010]

Far from being the worst horror film of all time, and really not much of a horror movie at all but more of a black comedy for lack of a better description. Jackie Vernon plays Donald whose wife refuses to give him solid, working-man food but rather inundates his lunch box with crab sandwiches and other gourmet meals. Donald gets so upset after a night of drinking his woes that he slays his wife and then packs her in the freezer, later goes for a bite to eat, and unwittingly eats her hand wrapped in tin foil. From there he realizes he loves the taste and begins to eat women all the time(yes, that pun and every possible one under the sun was used in the film!). Thereis an endless parade of one-liners, many just wretched, but after a bit I was finding some of them amusing as this film is trying to be nothing more than a sophomoric horror spoof. It has a seventies feel to it though it was made in 1983. The scary moments are non-existent. What do we get: roly-poly Jackie Vernon quipping wisecracks as he searches for dinner and a date all in one. Vernon is just, well, there. He quite honestly doesn't have much of a movie presence, but he can deliver his lines - if you can be more unlike me and get past the voice of Frosty the Snowman swearing and having his way with a prostitute and even stuffing a turkey. The gal that plays his wife is amusing if nothing else, and the rest of the cast could be extras on Lost for all we know/care. There are a few exceptions because the film has liberal doses of gratuitous nudity - no more eye-popping then the opening with the knothole girl. A real looker and possibly the high point of this film. More is the pity. that being said; however, Microwave Massacre is watchable - even again in the next decade possibly. seeing Vernon act is intriguing as we have little of him in film(I wonder why?). You could definitely do a lot worse than this. I have seen horror films that made my eyes glaze over from boredom and wished/willed my fingers to pass the fast forward. This strangely enough for me was not one of those times.

Is It As Bad Now As When It Was Released?

[kirbylee70-599-526179 · 4/10 · 14 September 2016]

I'm old enough to remember when MICROWAVE MASSACRE first made its way to video, yes VHS, years ago. I owned a video store at the time and horror films always rented well. When I saw the artwork for this one and read the description I laughed, ordered it and put it on the shelf for rental. I also watched the movie. Before it ended I wondered what I had been thinking when I ordered it. The movie was as bad if not worse than the title.

And yet in the passing years the movie has garnered a cult following among fans of bad movies. Those who revel in the worst film has to offer have found a gem to add to their collections. Seriously, the movie is terrible for so many reasons and yet it's the sort of movie that you feel compelled to watch from start to finish. It's not one of those intentionally bad movies, it is one where those making it really thought they had something but the end result could not have been what they intended.

The story involved mild-mannered Donald (Jackie Vernon), a construction worker whose wife May is intent of elevating herself and Donald to a classier lifestyle. She displays no class in her decorating style, in her attitude, in how she talks and definitely not in the cuisine that she forces Donald to eat every day. A prime example is a crab sandwich that is, yes, an entire crab between two slices of bread.

After a night of drinking Donald goes home to find May has cooked some strange new concoction. In a drunken rage strangles May, killing her. When he wakes the next day he discovers what he has done and now must cover up the evidence. Cutting up her body he cooks it in May's huge microwave and then wraps the pieces in tin foil. He stuffs the body parts into the freezer in the garage, not noticing that one piece has fallen into a garbage can he used to throw away the food May froze in the freezer. When he gets hungry later that night he takes that particular piece inside to eat and is surprised at how good it tastes. As he unwraps it while eating he discovers it is May's hand. But since it tastes better than what he's been served lately he continues eating.

This leads to Donald finding other victims to kill, microwave and then eat. He also shares the food with his co-workers who enjoy it as well and suddenly become friendlier towards Donald. The body count rises and Donald's hunger is satiated. The movie ends rather abruptly, or should I say mercifully. And lucky for us it didn't end with anything that looked like a sequel could happen.

So much is bad about this movie. The sets seem like they actually filmed it in someone's house, which if you watch the extras you discover they did. Jackie Vernon shows why he was a great stand-up comedian and a lousy actor. Not only does he display no range of emotion he can't even show surprise and make it believable. The rest of the actors fare better but not much. The cinematography is low level at best. The props are recognizable but unrealistic. As I look back I find nothing that works or is well done here.

And yet the movie has a certain charm for fans of really bad films. You get the impression that the people behind it were really trying to make something but didn't possess the skill or talent to pull it off. When you watch the extras you get a glimpse into those people and what they thought about the movie they were making at the time.

Arrow Video has once again saved a cult film from disappearing forever and you have to give them credit for doing so no matter how bad the movie is. This is the kind of movie that you put on during a party and have a good laugh over. What is mind numbing is to think that this movie was given a 2k restoration by Arrow. In addition to that it includes a brand new audio commentary track with writer-producer Craig Muckler moderated by Mike Tristano and a brand new making of featurette that includes interviews with Muckler, director Wayne Berwick and actor Loren Schein. It's important to note that the featurette is more entertaining than the film itself. But fans can rejoice that it's now being offered in this pristine version. If bad movies make you laugh, make you smile or make you appreciate good movies just that much more than by all means you need to watch this film. And thank Arrow while you're at it for delivering it to your door.

Bad Film Becomes Cult Classic

[gavin6942 · 3/10 · 13 August 2016]

Construction worker Donald (Jackie Vernon) is having a hard time getting anything good to eat since his wife has decided to only cook gourmet foods. That and her constant harping cause him to snap, and he whacks her. Somewhere in the confusion he comes up with a new use for the microwave oven, and begins to eat much better. Soon he's experimenting with different recipes. And different meats.

AllMovie wrote, "Despite utterly failing as comedy, horror and pornography, Microwave Massacre is grotesque enough in design and attitude to be fascinating, much like a car accident." That summary is perfect. "Microwave Massacre" is bad in almost every way, especially Vernon's acting. But there are some funny scenes and jokes that make it worthwhile. The drive-through scene is especially humorous, and for those who know Vernon mostly as Frosty the Snowman's voice, this will twist what you think of Frosty.

Now, maybe not too much should be expected for a film with a budget under $100,000. But it does make for interesting shooting techniques -- saving money by using Mickey Dolenz's house as a set, and having Robert Burns (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE) do art direction for only $1,000. Burns, who also appears as a homeless man, was referred to the film by no less a figure than Wes Craven. So that might make this film's background a bit more interesting...

The producers originally wanted Rodney Dangerfield, but ended up with Jackie Vernon. His acting is awful, and actually the worst thing about the film, but he does offer a few ad libs. Would Dangerfield have been better? Yes, no doubt. Luckily, the other actors -- especially the two construction workers -- are excellent actors. Except, of course, this only further points out how bad Vernon is.

How this has become a "cult classic" is beyond me. Is it the gratuitous addition of topless women? Is it Jackie Vernon? Or is it one of those so-bad-it's-good types of things? I love bad movies as much as anyone, but for me this really is not one of the great forgotten gems.

Regardless, Arrow Video has done what they do best and put their heart and soul into making this as good as it can be. There is a brand new 2K restoration from the original camera negative, which looks pretty good for such a low budget film. There is a brand new audio commentary with writer-producer Craig Muckler, moderated by Mike Tristano, with plenty of stories about Wes Craven, "Phantasm", Jill Schoelen, "Creature From the Black Lagoon" and more. This is really the best part of the disc. (Because Muckler has certain phrases he uses a lot, the commentary would make a great drinking game.) Lastly, we have "My Microwave Massacre Memoirs" a new making-of featurette including interviews with Muckler, director Wayne Berwick and actor Loren Schein. Although brief, it does expound on Muckler's commentary a bit and is worth a watch.

Hilarious

[satkinson1971 · 5/10 · 25 January 2005]

I was lucky enough to have a "mom and pop" video shop in my hometown growing up that had movies like this and "Jailbait Babysitter" among its horror selections. My brother and I have been using the phrase "Gourmet Cuisine", pronounced "goreMET Cuezine" ever since we first saw it. The acting is ridiculously bad, and read in a very deadpan way. I think John Waters shows this one when he wants to provide direction to actors. If you are renting a movie titled "Microwave Massacre" hopefully it means A)you have a campy appreciation for bad movies, or B) You are so stupid that title actually might mean a quality film to you. In either situation, you won't be disappointed. This is so bad it transcends! Check it out if you want to see something, er, unique and stupidly funny!

Crap, crappy bad crap. Not in any good way at all.

[Finfrosk86 · 2/10 · 10 July 2017]

This movie simply sucks.

Everything about this movie is incredibly bad. Well, not all the camera work, I guess. But the rest. ALL the rest.

Nothing makes much sense or seems natural. The jokes range from stupid to extremely stupid, and none are funny at all. The acting (acting?) is bad, and not in a funny way. Every scene seems to be the first take. Some of the scenes are way too long, so that the dialogue comes off as even worse and more unnatural than it could have been, with just a few cuts. The dialogue is atrocious.

If this movie was filmed all in one take, with no professional actors, heck, no professionals what so ever, and no script, all improvised, then I would maybe forgive it.

The best thing about this stinker is the topless women. But even that comes with a bad aftertaste, as all the women are there just to be sexy. They are pretty hot, but come on. This is clearly from another time, when sexism wasn't much of a subject.

Had this movie been entertaining I would have given it a higher score. I don't do the 'so-bad-it's-good'-thing. If a movie is "bad", but still entertains me, I think it's good. But this crappy s**t is not entertaining. It's a total fail.

The short run time is the only reason I finished watching it, it's 1 hour 16 minutes. With about 2 minutes of credits. But I had to take some breaks. I think it's one of the worst movies I've seen.

"It's gonna be a skyscraper. Wanna watch it rise?"

[Hey_Sweden · 7/10 · 11 March 2017]

Stand up comedian and sometime actor Jackie Vernon had his last movie role in this laugh riot camp horror film. Jackie plays Donald, a construction worker whose wife May (Claire Ginsberg) is trying to get him to eat her experimental dinners. She does this supposedly for his own good, and does it with the assistance of her microwave oven (a real gargantuan artifact). Finally, he can take no more of her nagging and, in a drunken rage, bludgeons her to death with a salt grinder. He comes to realize that he likes the taste of human flesh, so goes out and kills more people to feed his newfound appetites.

Written and produced by Craig Muckler and Thomas Singer, and directed by Wayne Berwick, "Microwave Massacre" is a pretty tasty morsel when it comes to horror comedy. It's full of utter ridiculousness, and absurd dialogue, not to mention some deliciously tacky gore effects and one utterly priceless severed head. The amusingly deadpan Vernon alternates between being sincere, and letting the audience in on the joke by breaking the fourth wall. His interactions with victims and other characters are a joy to behold. We have a hooker named Dee Dee Dee (Lou Ann Webber), a psychiatrist (John Harmon, who'd acted for director Berwicks' father Irvin in things like "The Monster of Piedras Blancas" and "Malibu High"), a doctor with the childish moniker of Von Der Fool (Ed Thomas), a hottie foreigner (Anna Marlowe) who makes a living dancing in a chicken costume, Donalds' fellow construction workers Roosevelt (Loren Schein) and Philip (Al Troupe), and Sam (Phil De Carlo), a grumpy bartender who doesn't want to hear his patrons' sob stories. Ginsberg is perfect as the kind of nagging wife that would drive any husband mad.

This movie keeps coming up with enough wacky and irreverent shtick to sustain it through a very reasonable one hour 17 minutes run time. Just don't expect to see the title appliance come into play all THAT often while it plays out.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm so hungry I could eat a whore.

Seven out of 10.

Rotten junk food

[Coventry · 1/10 · 8 December 2009]

This movie is wrong on so many levels. "Microwave Massacre" is totally absurd and amateurish nonsense that doesn't feature anyone or anything that makes the slightest bit of sense. Some crazy friends presumably gathered together a couple of hundred bucks and decided to make their own movie. But instead of a spirited B-movie homage or creative gore flick – like, say, "The Evil Dead" or "The Dead Next Door" – this is just a load of embarrassing and irritating rubbish. I sincerely hope that everyone who was even distantly involved in the production of this film still thinks back about this little escapade with shame. The terribly annoying construction worker Donald, who loves old-fashioned baloney and cheese sandwiches, is depressed because his wife just bought a gigantic microwave and now just exclusively serves disgusting experimental TV-dishes. One drunken night, Donald just can't take it anymore. He kills the wife and microwaves her body parts into meat sandwiches. Donald quickly turns towards killing younger girls, as he craves for flesh that is less sturdy to consume. Can't blame him for that. "Microwave Massacre" is a slapstick comedy instead of a cheap horror tribute. Tiny little problem, however, is that the film isn't funny at all. The continuously bad jokes are only interfered to show random sleazy footage and overlong boring monologues. The acting is unbearable and the "gore" is pathetic. There are certain things in life which I'll never understand, like The Pythagorean Theorem and a handful of quantum physics formulas, but I've learned to accept that. Something I cannot and do not want to understand, though, is how this piece of crap can possibly have such a loyal fan base.

"I'm so hungry...I could eat a WHORE!"

[alanmora · 8/10 · 8 December 2006]

Ladies and gentlemen here it is...the worst horror movie ever made! The genius behind this movie is that it is literally so utterly terrible, that it's good! This film NEVER takes itself too seriously, just look at who is playing the lead character...Frosty the Snowman himself Mr. Jackie Vernon (or as he is more commonly known old "Mush Mouth") How can anyone be terrified by this man? This film has some of the tackiest, most outlandish scenes ever recorded on film. From the outrageous scene at the fast-food drive in to the woman being placed between 2 of the largest slices of bread I have ever seen! The acting is awful, the effects are hideous and the jokes are lame but all of this adds to the chaotic fun that is known as "Microwave Massacre". You have been warned, this is the most awesomely bad movie in cinema history...but also the most fun...watch it with some sort of chemical assistance, trust me it helps!

This is an entertaining horror parody that is unique for its time and fun for the viewers

[kevin_robbins · 7/10 · 6 July 2021]

Microwave Massacre (1979) is a movie I recently watched on Tubi. The storyline follows a simple construction worker who one day discovers he likes the taste of human meat and decides to share his discovery indiscreetly with everyone he knows. This movie is directed by Wayne Berwick (The Naked Monster) and stars Jackie Vernon (Frosty the Snowman), Anna Marlowe (Beyond Evil), Aaron Koslow (The Zodiac Killer) and John Harmon (King of the Underworld). The storyline for this doesn't take itself too seriously and is a fun watch for horror movie fans. The scenarios and dialogue throughout are creative and hilarious. I loved the opening scene with the hole in the wall and there's a good use of nudity in this, but the sex scenes not so much lol (purposely not good). Overall this is an entertaining horror parody that is unique for its time and fun for the viewers. I'd score this a 7/10 and recommend seeing it at least once.

Jackie Vernon tries hard to salvage this cheesy and tiresome horror comedy romp

[Woodyanders · 3/10 · 20 November 2006]

Humor and horror don't easily mix together into a solid, cohesive, evenly balanced and satisfactory whole. It takes real skill and expertise to make such a precarious blending of diametrically opposite elements work well together. Well, this totally ineffective and often painfully unamusing clinker makes for a particularly sad example of just how horrendous a horror comedy can be when said necessary skill and expertise never manage to materialize in the film itself.

Late, great wiseguy comedian Jackie Vernon portrays a meek, hen-pecked construction worker who offs his peevish wench of a shrewish wife, chops her up into itty-bitty pieces, wraps the body parts up in tin foil, and stuffs the remains in a freezer. One day Jackie noshes on some of his old lady's remains and subsequently develops an unsavory cannibalistic hankering for tasty female flesh. Pretty soon Jackie starts killing comely, flirtatious, available young lasses so he can ravenously eat their sweet delicious meat in order to appease his insatiable sicko appetite.

Wayne Beswick's flaccid direction fails to inject any much-needed hopped-up vitality into this tired'n'tasteless tripe, thus letting "Microwave Massacre" crawl along at an excruciatingly gradual and seemingly never-ending lethargic tempo. The unceasingly crude catalog of bad big breast jokes, cheesy gold chains, poor prostitute japes, hideously unsightly mountainous masses of overpermed curly white guy Afro coiffures, silly swinging singles jests, moronic profanity jibes, scanty denim hot pants, putrid fake penis gags, shabby bell bottom jeans, and sophomoric sexual hi-jinks all prove beyond a reasonable doubt that cheerfully rancid'n'raunchy 70's bathroom humor has dated as well as the leisure suit and 8-track tapes (i.e., not well at all). However, Jackie tries admirably in a rare substantial lead role; his droll, low-key sense of nicely bemused "why me?" humor supplies some faint entertainment in this otherwise extremely tiresome junk. Acclaimed fright film production designer Robert Burns cameos as a mangy derelict who scratches his crotch with a severed arm he unearths in Jackie's garbage can. It's a genuine shame that the negative of this woefully unfunny would-be horror black comedy wasn't tossed in a trash can along with the witless script.

Overdone cannibalism comedy

[lor_ · 27 January 2023]

Filmed several years ago and finally emerging as a homevideo release, "Microwave Massacre" is an amateurish comedy dwelling on cannibalism in its lampooning of gory horror films. Vaguely resembling the spoof-of-a-spoof "Please Don't Eat My Mother" (a takeoff on "Little Shop of Horrors" made a decade earlier), this film is suited for fanciers of grotesque black humor only.

Standup comic Jackie Vernon toplines as a mild construction worker Donald, engaged in Bickersons-style arguments with his stout wife May (Claire Ginsberg), especially over her penchant for inedible gourmet repasts prepared in her large microwave oven. In a rage, he kills her, and cuts the body into pieces (including a very cheap plaster head) and stores them neatly wrapped in aluminum foil with the frozen meat.

When Donald accidentally nibbles on one of his wife's hands for a midnight snack, he discovers he likes the taste and begins cooking the human flesh in the microwave, sharing the results at lunch with his friendly co-workers. Now, a bachelor again, he starts picking up pretty girls, but ends up killing them while having sex and eating the corpses.

Filmmaker Wayne Berwick, Thomas Singer and Craig Muckler overplay this material for cheap laughs, with mugging actors including the usual deadpan Vernon. Gore is very fake-looking, aiming at viewers laughing at the production rather than being outraged by realism. Emphasizing vulgar gags and slowing down dialog delivery results in an embarrassing, generally unfunny exercise, punctuated by the usual quota of female nude shots.

Budget is microscopic, with passable technical credits. In explaining Donald's final comeuppance (yes, even in amoral farragoes such as this there lurks some form of retribution), picture briefly intimates a supernatural element, but this is not enough to attract the interest of traditional horror film fans.

My review was written after watching the film on a Midnight videocassette.

A really bad gross-out comedy

[Leofwine_draca · 4/10 · 24 December 2017]

MICROWAVE MASSACRE is an extremely broad, bad-taste comedy horror flick about an overweight guy who tires of his wife's bad cooking and decides to bump her off before devouring her body. The whole thing plays out as a lowest-common-denominator comedy with bizarre situations and supposedly comedic touches straight out of an independent Troma-style production. The acting is non-existent while the jokes consistent of workers ogling a guy walking suggestively through the streets. The film does have some gruesome moments but the quality of the special effects is very poor so there's nothing disturbing here. For Arrow to have marketed it as a horror movie is really disingenuous.

Amazingly good and bad

[rcaballero-78131 · 5/10 · 15 August 2019]

This is your typical 80's comedy/horror flick. It's so bad it's good IMO. Man kills his wife microwaves her and finds he loves the taste of human flesh. This movie just brings back the nostalgia of these kind of horror movies. I highly suggest it for any horror lover.

Not enough to satisfy the hunger...

[Clay-10 · 3/10 · 7 July 2006]

For what it could have been, "Microwave Massacre" is a big disappointment. While digestible, it's just a bunch of empty calories. Jackie Vernon sleepwalks through his role spouting sub-par Henny Youngman one-liners as he kills women to feed himself and his co-workers. It's like he was pumped on Benadryl before the cameras rolled. As for the rest of the film, it goes by at a fair pace, although a good 15-20 minutes could have hit the editing room floor to no detrimental effect. Filmed for apparently whatever the cast could find in the couch cushions and in the ashtrays of their 1970's autos, this film isn't terribly bad, just doesn't offer enough to make it memorable after the ending credits, like chewing on a piece of celluloid gristle.

An interesting idea, but very poorly realised

[Sic Coyote · 3/10 · 20 November 1999]

I thought, when I bought this, 'hmm, this looks interesting.' The idea of a comedy with someone microwaving women and eating them sounds quite interesting, it's just to bad that it's really badly, written, acted, shot, directed, etc. it's just full of cheesy sleazy stuff but the whole thing is done to cheaply, if they had put some money into some nice gory effects this might have been quite entertaining to the gore conasour. But unfortunatly the only thing that you have to entertain you is the humour, which is very base but occationally funny. It certainly wasn't worth the £15 that I paid for it, except for the fact I don't think I'll ever see another copy of it again, and a re-release looks very unlikely, thank god! Very bad taste but it doesn't manage to make it work in a good way. 3/10

The absolute worst.

[BandSAboutMovies · 1/10 · 20 July 2018]

I love horrible movies. I always wonder, "What's my limit? How bad can it get to make me hate a movie?" The new barometer for bad has been found and it is Microwave Massacre.

Donald (Jackie Vernon, a raunchy comedian who was also the voice of Frosty the Snowman, which still kind of blows my mind) works construction by day and has another job by night: dealing with his wife. She keeps cooking gourmet foods that all come out bad and he yearns for the bologna and cheese sandwiches that his co-workers are chowing down on. Then, his wife buys a gigantic microwave, which makes even worse meals.

Our hero, such as he is, comes home and loses his temper about all the bad meals and ends up killing his wife. He doesn't remember any of it the next morning as he has a big hangover. He starts cutting up his wife's body and rolling it in foil. Once he accidentally eats some, he learns how delicious she is. And oh yeah, her head is still alive.

Soon, he's sharing the meat with his friends and starts killing prostitutes to make more of his secret recipe. Of course, all this cooking leads to a heart attack. And a visit by his wife's sister, who he has to tie up and gag with bread.

Of course, all good - or bad, this movie is Troma level bad - things must come to an end. Donald dies of a heart attack, the pacemaker in his chest canceled out by the microwave, which still has May's living head inside.

The box art is amazing. That's the nicest thing I can say. Otherwise, it's a painful exercise in puerile humor and poor effects. Watch with caution.

The most good-natured slasher film ever made

[eddie-177 · 7/10 · 21 October 2020]

In case you were worried that a movie called "Microwave Massacre" might take itself too seriously, the filmmakers set the tone very early on: a woman is walking aimlessly through a construction site, being ogled by the miscreant men around her. She happens upon a plank of wood with some holes cut out about chest high. Inexplicably, with zero attempt to explain her reasoning, she puts her bare breasts through the holes, enticing one of the creeps to come over and attempt to give her a honkin', only to have his efforts rebuffed.

This is stupid. Incredibly stupid. And exploitative. But also deftly goofy. At no point does this film evince the slightest bit of mean spiritness. From start to finish it is an incredibly joyful affair.

The film stars Jackie Vernon, an old timey stand up comedian whom those of us born after 1945 or so will most likely remember only as the voice of Frosty the Snowman. Vernon was a rotund man with a kind face who was known for his gentle, deadpan delivery. This makes him, by far, the least scary psycho killer in the history of slasher films.

Now, no one is going to claim this is a tightly constructive film, and it falls far short of the upper echelon of 70's horror pictures. But it's still very enjoyable. Most of the jokes land. The premise is just absurd enough to keep you engaged. And, unlike most low-budget horror comedies, at no point does script become unfollowable. It seems professional in spite of its cheapness. The cast and crew all seem like they were having a wonderful time making it.

I don't have anything intelligent or especially insightful to say about Microwave Massacre other than that it's a very enjoyable film. Anyone who doesn't take themselves or their movies too seriously should check it out.

Rodney Dangerfield??

[ethylester · 2/10 · 23 October 2003]

Yes, this movie is really horrible. Really really bad. The main man reminds me of Rodney Dangerfield who has taken too many sleeping pills. This guy is totally out of it the entire time, he can barely keep his eyes open. But he has that cute little New England accent and body build that ol' Rod has. Made me wanna jump around and hit stuff.

My favorite character is definitely the Black buddy of our main man. This guy is so weird. First of all, we are introduced to him trying to snap to a beat. He can't do it, he doesn't understand how you "feel the music". From then on, the guy's lines are delivered like he is reading them very slowly and articulately, straight from the page. He pronounces every word like he's trying to sound really smart. But the thing is, he is saying very dumb things. So it makes a great contrast that leaves you a little confused as to what this guy's deal is. He was the only possible thing in this movie that allowed me to enjoy myself.

The rest of the movie is so dumb - pure idiocy. Brainless idiocy. The giant microwave is pretty sweet, though. I have never seen such a huge microwave.

Honestly, I didn't think the wife deserved to die. She might have been a bad cook, but she was kind of funny and seemed at least a little nice. It's the husband that was the big jerk. The big idiot. Why would anyone care that they can't pick up their food with their hands? I thought that spinach dish looked pretty good, myself. haha

2/10 - worth seeing only if you're really bored.

I've loved this film for years! A true classic!

[filmlvr2006 · 10/10 · 17 February 2006]

Poor Donald. Hates his wife's cooking...so he cooks her in the biggest microwave on the planet and accidentally eats her. Finding he likes her "good taste" he starts picking up hot chicks and baking and eating them. Jackie Vernon (voice of Frosty the Snowman) is the sexually perverted cannibal. Played strictly for laughs. The humor is hilariously stupid...and obviously done with a constant wink. Plenty of gratuitous nudity and cheesy effects. A 70's disco soundtrack just adds to the good time cheesiness. A few scenes still make me laugh out loud. A couple of beers (or whatever is your preference) can only add to the enjoyment. Just a whole lotta fun!

It's one of those boys!

[markovd111 · 6/10 · 17 May 2023]

Grab a mate, something to drink and eat and enjoy the hilarity of this movie. From the moment I found this movie and added it to my watchlist, I never expected anything more than a trashy and bad forgotten movie. Well, I'm so glad I was wrong, because "Microwave Massacre" is for it's relatively low budget very competently made movie with unbelievably smart and funny remarks from our cynical and hilarious protagonist. There is also a decent amount of nudity in this movie and all of it is high quality nudity for such a relatively low budget movie! All in all, if you like over the top humour and are not offended by unsophisticated content (violence, nudity), you won't go wrong with this one! 6.5/10! I recommend it to all the fans of the genre or anyone with open mind looking for a laugh!

Unbelievable

[nhlgumby · 4/10 · 28 October 2002]

This is not a one time watch video. There are so many terrible jokes laced throughout this movie, it requires a second viewing. Jokes like "I'm so hungry, I could eat a whore." or "Hello Coast Guard? Are the coasts safe? Good!" It's these kinds of things and more that make this movie so hard to classify. While realizing that the movie is a flop, at some points it tries to be frightening, or shocking, but dismally fails. The stage arms and legs and heads are some of the cheapest ever made, and the acting resembles an NC-17 elementary school play.

But you know what, I'd buy this movie in a heart beat. There are so many things about this movie that, while awful to some, are what I love. Give me a couple of friends, a VCR, TV and a copy of Microwave Massacre, and my evening will be filled with more (real) laughter than an episode of Scooby Movies.

-Scott says: Actively search for this movie. It's worth it.-

-Scott-