I saw this movie back in 83 when 3-d was making a comeback. I liked it a lot but I was young and it was 3-d. I've seen it a few times after that on HBO and still enjoyed it. I just recently got a 3-d dvd of the movie and I enjoyed it even more. Sure, it's crap but it's fun crap and I'm a sucker for 3-d movies. Watching this in 3-d in my own living room brought back memories. It's definately worth seeing in 3-d.
38 Reviews
Kinda spooky how bad it is...
Genesplicer23 February 2001
...And I was in it! A friend was a prop person on this steaming pile, and I went out when they were shooting in the desert. It was a night shoot, and I spent a lot of time standing around watching setup and teardown. Then came the Epic Speech Of Jared Syn To His Troops. The director suddenly decides that there are not enough troops, and some flunky comes up and asks me if I want to be in the film. I tell him sure, and soon I'm standing in the back of a crowd with a piece of brown cloth over my shoulders like a poncho and a helmet on my head. And I stood there, and stood there and stood there. Being in the movie was as dull as watching it being made.
Then it came out!!! I had waited for months for "My" movie to come out. Was I ever disappointed! I knew it wasn't "Citizen Kane". But this wasn't even "Warlords of Atlantis"! All of my friends went from "you were in a movie???" to "You were in THAT???????"
Even though I was in it, it is still one of the lowest-rated films on my list. I do admit, however, that I have a warm spot in my heart for this piece of tripe.
Any time you want to just stare in mute amazement at what can be called a film, check it out.
Then it came out!!! I had waited for months for "My" movie to come out. Was I ever disappointed! I knew it wasn't "Citizen Kane". But this wasn't even "Warlords of Atlantis"! All of my friends went from "you were in a movie???" to "You were in THAT???????"
Even though I was in it, it is still one of the lowest-rated films on my list. I do admit, however, that I have a warm spot in my heart for this piece of tripe.
Any time you want to just stare in mute amazement at what can be called a film, check it out.
please release the DVD !!!
popeyebenedict1625 April 2005
I, too saw this movie at the theater...this was the week it came out (as well as the week it was pulled off). While visiting relatives in Richmond, VA, of all places, we all went to see this horrible futuristic charade, just so that we can view the closing credits and watch MY name scrolling down on that long list...Yes, I admit to have worked on the special effects with Charly Band (who most probably still owes me the $10.00 I've never received). Regarding this "masterpiece" I agree with the rest of you guys, and as far as the thought of this movie having been made as a spoof, well, it wasn't ! And what about Kelly... Love to work with those Hollywood stars ! In contrast, both Richard and Tim were actually fun to be around, actually. By the way, the film did become a cult item. I would love to see it coming out on DVD, though, as I already own the VHS, too-shrunk-to-wear-cut-off T-shirt, a lovely crew satin jacket and a poster. Gideon.
The WORST movie I ever saw...and yet I LOVE it.
geoffsackett5 February 2001
During the summer of '83, my childhood buddy and I saw some 13 movies over the course of a long week, including Metalstorm. We were ten at the time and even at that young age we were impressed by just how awful a movie could be. Yes, Metalstorm is, without a doubt, the worst movie I have ever seen. And yet, to this day, my buddy and I still wax nostalgically about the evil Jared-Syn and the impact he and the other stars of Metalstorm had on our summer of '83.
Metalstorm, I LOVE YOU!
Metalstorm, I LOVE YOU!
Good for several hoots.
Hey_Sweden4 January 2014
The 1983 3-D Charles Band production "Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn" is pretty damn forgettable and obviously quite low budget but, like many other movies of its kind, it's not without its cheesy charms. One is simply going to have to be partial to this type of thing to begin with. It's highly derivative of other sci-fi features that have come before it, and it is undeniably crude. It's full of nonsense and short on sense. The characters are well defined if not exactly fleshed out (you're never in much doubt as to who is a good guy and who is a bad guy.) The action is reasonably effective, with well done stunts and explosions, and the special effects do give this the appeal of really good cheese. The most worthy component is the rousing music score by Charles's brother Richard Band; it deserves to be in a better movie.
Stiff, but not completely unlikable, Jeffrey Byron stars as Dogen, a "ranger" in a world of the future who must do battle with the overlord of the title, played by Mike Preston of "The Road Warrior". Jared-Syn, assisted by his creepy son Baal (R. David Smith), makes life miserable for people such as amiable old miner Aix (Larry Pennell) and his daughter Dhyana (a young and super sexy Kelly Preston). Knowing he needs help, Dogen gets tracking assistance from the weary Rhodes (Tim Thomerson, who easily steals the show). As the story plays out, he must also deal with a cyclopean being named Hurok (Richard Moll).
The ending to this is quite anticlimactic and disappointing (clearly there were thoughts of making a sequel to this), but getting there provides some degree of fun. If you can turn off your brain for 83 minutes, you should have a good time with this. It never really catches fire (some might even say that it's dull), but helping to give it some visual buzz, other than the 3- D, are the various desert locations and the cinematography by Mac Ahlberg, who shot many movies like this during the 1980s. Byron is a rather colourless lead, and one may wish that the more charismatic Thomerson were in that role instead. Mike Preston is an amusing villain, and Moll likewise has a real presence on screen, as always. The briefly seen Pennell is endearing, and Kelly Preston offers up a lot of spunk as the imperiled girl, who is set to be sacrificed by Jared-Syn to a great big life-giving crystal.
This may not be anything great, but it's not the worst sci-fi adventure you'll ever see, either.
Five out of 10.
Stiff, but not completely unlikable, Jeffrey Byron stars as Dogen, a "ranger" in a world of the future who must do battle with the overlord of the title, played by Mike Preston of "The Road Warrior". Jared-Syn, assisted by his creepy son Baal (R. David Smith), makes life miserable for people such as amiable old miner Aix (Larry Pennell) and his daughter Dhyana (a young and super sexy Kelly Preston). Knowing he needs help, Dogen gets tracking assistance from the weary Rhodes (Tim Thomerson, who easily steals the show). As the story plays out, he must also deal with a cyclopean being named Hurok (Richard Moll).
The ending to this is quite anticlimactic and disappointing (clearly there were thoughts of making a sequel to this), but getting there provides some degree of fun. If you can turn off your brain for 83 minutes, you should have a good time with this. It never really catches fire (some might even say that it's dull), but helping to give it some visual buzz, other than the 3- D, are the various desert locations and the cinematography by Mac Ahlberg, who shot many movies like this during the 1980s. Byron is a rather colourless lead, and one may wish that the more charismatic Thomerson were in that role instead. Mike Preston is an amusing villain, and Moll likewise has a real presence on screen, as always. The briefly seen Pennell is endearing, and Kelly Preston offers up a lot of spunk as the imperiled girl, who is set to be sacrificed by Jared-Syn to a great big life-giving crystal.
This may not be anything great, but it's not the worst sci-fi adventure you'll ever see, either.
Five out of 10.
A very interesting movie!!! In 3-D!!!
kazaar824 January 2012
You're brain will surely melt away watching this movie.
The weird mutant cyborg man shoots acid from his robotic appendage and he does melt at least one person in the movie.
The main character is very typical of 80's science fiction being a pirate, thief or slave that finds out he is a prince.
A great movie to watch if you are paralyzed and cant get away while being on heavy tranquilizers, or a great movie to make very young people watch and be so confused about what is going on. I suppose for its day back in the 80's it was amazing, but today the special effects are cheesy, look cheap and cant stand up next to the movies of today.
The weird mutant cyborg man shoots acid from his robotic appendage and he does melt at least one person in the movie.
The main character is very typical of 80's science fiction being a pirate, thief or slave that finds out he is a prince.
A great movie to watch if you are paralyzed and cant get away while being on heavy tranquilizers, or a great movie to make very young people watch and be so confused about what is going on. I suppose for its day back in the 80's it was amazing, but today the special effects are cheesy, look cheap and cant stand up next to the movies of today.
bad sci-fi cheese
SnoopyStyle11 March 2016
Dogen (Jeffrey Byron) is a Ranger out to take down Jared-Syn who is breaking the peace and recruiting mutants for his holy war. Dhyana (Kelly Preston) and her father are prospectors. They strike the motherlode but Jared-Syn's son Baal kills her father. Dogen finds Dhyana and they discover the crystals could store lifeforce. They are attacked by Baal. Dhyana is transported and taken prisoner. Jared-Syn is storing lifeforce in his giant crystal. Dogen recruits tired old-timer Rhodes (Tim Thomerson) to find Jared-Syn. They impress Hurok (Richard Moll) and his mutant warriors along the way.
This is pretty bad. Byron has as much charisma as a rock with as much usefulness for the lead actor. Tim Thomerson does a couple of good turns before he gets out of there. It's following Mad Max style in its desert car-chase action B-movie. However it doesn't have the kinetic energy and relies too much on slow motion. The special effects aren't that special. It's also part of the 80s 3D revival which only adds to the cheese factor. This is not good and not bad enough to be fun. The only good part is the memorable look of Baal.
This is pretty bad. Byron has as much charisma as a rock with as much usefulness for the lead actor. Tim Thomerson does a couple of good turns before he gets out of there. It's following Mad Max style in its desert car-chase action B-movie. However it doesn't have the kinetic energy and relies too much on slow motion. The special effects aren't that special. It's also part of the 80s 3D revival which only adds to the cheese factor. This is not good and not bad enough to be fun. The only good part is the memorable look of Baal.
In a galaxy far, far away
stood one man. Ah who cares.
lost-in-limbo8 August 2009
Charles Band
yeah producer/director Charles Band and by that name you should know what you are going to get. Well unless it's your first taste, which if it is, 'Metalstorm' is probably not a great starting point. I wanted to like this one more, but by the end I was completely bored with only the saving grace being the performances of an amusing Tim Thomason (who definitely spiced things up) and Richard Moll dressed in make-up. This cheap b-grade post-apocalyptic Sci-fi fling wears its influences for everyone to see, but instills no personality. Aside from the western touches (and that standoff scene is actually well done), it was namely something out of 'Star Wars' and obviously 'Mad Max 2', which you could say Jeffery Byron's ranger character is easily patterned on Mel Gibson's leather-decked road warrior of those films. Nonetheless Bryon's stiff impression is no match. Also appearing with amount of interest is a very beautiful Kelly Preston, but she does quite little than titillate. Mike Preston as the head villain Jared-Syn left a lot to be desired, as I found him laughably nonsensical in a plastic sense.
Although why we watch these films is for some senselessly cheap fun and lousy exchanges. The latter was right on the mark with the dialogues, however sadly I found the junky action quite lackluster and sloppy with a poorly shot desert wasteland backdrop. It feels in slow-motion (and Brand even uses that technique at times), despite the (unfocused) story keeping things moving. It has its moments (probably just not enough even with the few tripped-out visuals) and the make-up of the fancy dressed mutants are decently executed. I couldn't say the same about the dodgy special effects, which really do come to the front at the end. Richard Band's score is a clunker of sorts.
I didn't find it to be completely awful by any stretch, but more so frustratingly drab and unfulfilled with only some minor flourishes and a chirpy Thomerson.
Although why we watch these films is for some senselessly cheap fun and lousy exchanges. The latter was right on the mark with the dialogues, however sadly I found the junky action quite lackluster and sloppy with a poorly shot desert wasteland backdrop. It feels in slow-motion (and Brand even uses that technique at times), despite the (unfocused) story keeping things moving. It has its moments (probably just not enough even with the few tripped-out visuals) and the make-up of the fancy dressed mutants are decently executed. I couldn't say the same about the dodgy special effects, which really do come to the front at the end. Richard Band's score is a clunker of sorts.
I didn't find it to be completely awful by any stretch, but more so frustratingly drab and unfulfilled with only some minor flourishes and a chirpy Thomerson.
Somewhere above dismal.
jlerowe18 October 2013
Its not fair to compare special effects and production 30 years removed, but considering that this gem is sandwiched in a era that produced movies such as Alien, Star Wars IV, V , Back to the Future and the such, this 3D movie is much more akin to a straight to VHS (pre-dvd sales) video then anything else. Watching it , I kept saying to myself, I cannot believe this was released to theater and not a Sunday night movie on ABC back in the day.
I will not reveal any spoilers, there isn't much to reveal anyways, its a low value, low budge "B" scifi flick, that doesn't as much reveal any story as it does carry along with a soft overlay of one.
I've seen plenty of films of this ilk, but have to say, this is a fairly poor effort even by "B" standards.
I will not reveal any spoilers, there isn't much to reveal anyways, its a low value, low budge "B" scifi flick, that doesn't as much reveal any story as it does carry along with a soft overlay of one.
I've seen plenty of films of this ilk, but have to say, this is a fairly poor effort even by "B" standards.
Hilariously bad!
culwin5 December 2000
If you think Kelly Preston's worst movie is "Battlefield Earth", then you'd be right, but this one is a close second. The one thing that saves this movie, I think, is that nobody took themselves too seriously. This is one of those movies that is so bad it's funny. It is obvious that they were trying to make a cornball movie, and they succeeded. If Mystery Science Theater was still on, I'm sure they would have got to this one eventually. Best viewed with beer.
MetalStorm
StLouisAssassin19 January 2007
I saw this movie back in the mid 1980's on HBO. I never remember it ever showing in the theaters here in Missouri (and it probably didn't). In fact I never heard of this movie until HBO started showing in rotation sometime around 1985. The HBO previews combined with the Title, gave me the preconceived notion that this film was going to something similar to the Road Warrior chalked full of Quiet Riot/Twisted Sister style Heavy Metal music(and maybe some 3D nudity & 3D violence to accompany the heavy metal music). . . . . . . . . . . . And of Course it turned out to be none of that! ! ! ! ! !
The Producers and Studio would've both been far-far better off to have made the Heavy Metal music fest/nudity filled /voilent road warrior style film that I had imagined that I was going to see.
Never judge a book by its cover, and never set you movie expectations based on the title.(because this one will mislead you).
Instead I got a movie that I didn't understand. The plot was simple. -- there have been several reviews where people wrote that this movie didn't have a plot ...well, the truth is that it does, and it's a good plot. The main character was a ranger in a post nuclear waste lands who befriends a girl (Kelly Preston) who watches her father murdered by a green man with a mechanical arm (Richard Moll) and together they set out to bring justice to a a cult leader named Jared Synn. The problem with this movie isn't the plot, it has a good plot, the real problem with this movie is that they just didn't do anything with the plot. The characters are underdeveloped, the acting is poor(very poor), the special effects are about in the same category as a Japanese sci-fi TV shows.
The only really good thing I can say about this movie is that it does have a decent music score.
The Producers and Studio would've both been far-far better off to have made the Heavy Metal music fest/nudity filled /voilent road warrior style film that I had imagined that I was going to see.
Never judge a book by its cover, and never set you movie expectations based on the title.(because this one will mislead you).
Instead I got a movie that I didn't understand. The plot was simple. -- there have been several reviews where people wrote that this movie didn't have a plot ...well, the truth is that it does, and it's a good plot. The main character was a ranger in a post nuclear waste lands who befriends a girl (Kelly Preston) who watches her father murdered by a green man with a mechanical arm (Richard Moll) and together they set out to bring justice to a a cult leader named Jared Synn. The problem with this movie isn't the plot, it has a good plot, the real problem with this movie is that they just didn't do anything with the plot. The characters are underdeveloped, the acting is poor(very poor), the special effects are about in the same category as a Japanese sci-fi TV shows.
The only really good thing I can say about this movie is that it does have a decent music score.
Metal Storm holds hidden reality
curiartekeen14 June 2016
Don't know why, but in the '80s, I watched this film around 17 times, and when in Hollywood, went to the Band brothers' office to tell them they had made a cult masterpiece. They seemed really surprised that anyone liked it. After watching it several times (which you feel compelled to do for some strange reason), you start to get sucked into believing that somehow the film contains some kind of secret. The problem is that I think I needed to watch it at least 17 more times to 'get' the secret, but I could no longer find the film anywhere. Now I'm an adult, with kids, and they have carefully explained to me that I know nothing about films or hidden realities. So, either I'm an idiot for having wasted so much time watching Metal Storm so many times, or my kids should be forced to watch it 17 times so that they can reach the same level of knowledge as their mother.
I'm still waiting for that sequel, Mr. Band.
Vomitron_G25 July 2009
This is another one of those very first movies I ever rented as a kid. It was childish love at first site. Watched it numerous times back then. Is it actually a good movie? I think I'll just plead the 5th on that one.
Having just re-watched it, I'll just say right away: METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN is a blast and offers lots of (unintentional) laughs. Just throw the following elements into a blender: Post-Apocalyptic (vehicles & mutants), STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI (speed-bikers), western (showdown), Swords & Sorcery (quest, fights, and sock-puppet sand-creatures), fantasy (magical crystals and other nonsense), cyborg (or a dude basically enhanced by various metal-parts, including an extendable metal grab-claw arm that spits toxic LSD) and psychedelia (warped gateways into other dimensions). Plus, Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are in it. This simply is a wonderful film.
Well yes, I'm biased when it comes to early Charles Band outings. This isn't really a good movie (Damn, I did say it, didn't I?), but it's very enjoyable, cheesy & nonsensical stuff. All things I listed up here really are featured in this film, albeit not exactly in quality incarnations, if you know what I mean. And the special effects are dated and look silly sometimes, but there's enough of those in the film to keep you amused. Compared to other early Charles Band films, METALSTORM definitely is a bit crazier and more action-packed than PARASITE (the "good" film) and THE ALCHEMIST (the "lesser" film) and would - in my humble opinion - make a perfect double feature with THE DUNGEONMASTER (aka RAGEWAR), together making up for a super-duper special effects extravaganza night fest. And if you can't get with that, you're a bit of a sourpuss, I'm afraid.
Good, bad, stupid, fun? Who cares! These films were made with enthusiasm. The kind that rubs off. At least on me it does. Blame my rating on nostalgia.
Having just re-watched it, I'll just say right away: METALSTORM: THE DESTRUCTION OF JARED-SYN is a blast and offers lots of (unintentional) laughs. Just throw the following elements into a blender: Post-Apocalyptic (vehicles & mutants), STAR WARS: RETURN OF THE JEDI (speed-bikers), western (showdown), Swords & Sorcery (quest, fights, and sock-puppet sand-creatures), fantasy (magical crystals and other nonsense), cyborg (or a dude basically enhanced by various metal-parts, including an extendable metal grab-claw arm that spits toxic LSD) and psychedelia (warped gateways into other dimensions). Plus, Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are in it. This simply is a wonderful film.
Well yes, I'm biased when it comes to early Charles Band outings. This isn't really a good movie (Damn, I did say it, didn't I?), but it's very enjoyable, cheesy & nonsensical stuff. All things I listed up here really are featured in this film, albeit not exactly in quality incarnations, if you know what I mean. And the special effects are dated and look silly sometimes, but there's enough of those in the film to keep you amused. Compared to other early Charles Band films, METALSTORM definitely is a bit crazier and more action-packed than PARASITE (the "good" film) and THE ALCHEMIST (the "lesser" film) and would - in my humble opinion - make a perfect double feature with THE DUNGEONMASTER (aka RAGEWAR), together making up for a super-duper special effects extravaganza night fest. And if you can't get with that, you're a bit of a sourpuss, I'm afraid.
Good, bad, stupid, fun? Who cares! These films were made with enthusiasm. The kind that rubs off. At least on me it does. Blame my rating on nostalgia.
Some revival THIS turned out to be...
Mister-630 June 1999
You see, once upon a time, way back in the 50's, the 3D films were making quite an impression on the moviegoing public (mostly in the form of sci-fi and horror films).
Then, in the early 80's, someone had the bright idea to bring back the "good old days" and try the 3D movie effects again.
Bad move.
With movies like "Jared-Syn" and others like "Comin' at Ya!", "Jaws 3-D" and "Friday the 13th 3-D" (yes, that was the original title...go check) leading the fray, it proved what went wrong the first time around --- the effects may be okay, but if the movie sucks, forget it.
Well, the effects were pretty bad in "Jared-Syn", but the acting beats it even further into submission. You may recognize such stalwarts as Tim Thomerson, Kelly Preston and Richard Moll in this mess, but they sure wish you wouldn't...yeah, just take off those silly-looking 3D glasses when they come up on the screen. It's for the best, believe me.
And by the way: even without 3D, the effects in this movie aren't very special. You can see the matte lines around all the scooter-type things the characters fly around in, the robot/human/alien thing has some kind of aluminum foil on his teeth to make him look all the weirder (bad news, Jim...), the lasers don't look much more advanced than the ones they fired at Buck Rogers in the old serials....
Long story short, this movie would have wowed 'em in the 50's, when this kind of thing was in its prime. Even in the 80's, people aren't going to step in the same mess twice.
One star for "Jared-Syn", and if you're going to save the universe, don't forget to be nice to the cyclops...especially if they outnumber you.
Then, in the early 80's, someone had the bright idea to bring back the "good old days" and try the 3D movie effects again.
Bad move.
With movies like "Jared-Syn" and others like "Comin' at Ya!", "Jaws 3-D" and "Friday the 13th 3-D" (yes, that was the original title...go check) leading the fray, it proved what went wrong the first time around --- the effects may be okay, but if the movie sucks, forget it.
Well, the effects were pretty bad in "Jared-Syn", but the acting beats it even further into submission. You may recognize such stalwarts as Tim Thomerson, Kelly Preston and Richard Moll in this mess, but they sure wish you wouldn't...yeah, just take off those silly-looking 3D glasses when they come up on the screen. It's for the best, believe me.
And by the way: even without 3D, the effects in this movie aren't very special. You can see the matte lines around all the scooter-type things the characters fly around in, the robot/human/alien thing has some kind of aluminum foil on his teeth to make him look all the weirder (bad news, Jim...), the lasers don't look much more advanced than the ones they fired at Buck Rogers in the old serials....
Long story short, this movie would have wowed 'em in the 50's, when this kind of thing was in its prime. Even in the 80's, people aren't going to step in the same mess twice.
One star for "Jared-Syn", and if you're going to save the universe, don't forget to be nice to the cyclops...especially if they outnumber you.
Unwieldy in its inanity.
archer_fulsome15 October 2004
Warning: Spoilers
Potential Spoilers:
From the incomprehensible beginning message Dogen receives to the one-expression stare-tastic performance by Byron, this movie is unmatched. Throw in a bit of Richard Moll (see "Dungeonmaster") and you have a recipe for unparalleled B-movie ecstasy.
The premise that Jared-Syn will be destroyed (as evidenced by the title of the film) is never realized. Byron (as Dogen) puts up an interesting ante for facially still, gaze-oriented actors, and manages to make it fun to watch. The plot is sometimes convoluted, and contrived, but isn't that what makes this kind of movie entertaining?
This is one of Band's more valiant efforts. It uses effects, sure; it uses typical Road Warrior-esque poorly rendered vehicle fight montages, yes; but it also captures something timeless in its utter embracing of what it is. Nothing is resolved. Jared-Syn still lives. Dogen stares. Band is king.
From the incomprehensible beginning message Dogen receives to the one-expression stare-tastic performance by Byron, this movie is unmatched. Throw in a bit of Richard Moll (see "Dungeonmaster") and you have a recipe for unparalleled B-movie ecstasy.
The premise that Jared-Syn will be destroyed (as evidenced by the title of the film) is never realized. Byron (as Dogen) puts up an interesting ante for facially still, gaze-oriented actors, and manages to make it fun to watch. The plot is sometimes convoluted, and contrived, but isn't that what makes this kind of movie entertaining?
This is one of Band's more valiant efforts. It uses effects, sure; it uses typical Road Warrior-esque poorly rendered vehicle fight montages, yes; but it also captures something timeless in its utter embracing of what it is. Nothing is resolved. Jared-Syn still lives. Dogen stares. Band is king.
Absolute crud
phibes0120008 February 2005
This was originally shown in theaters in 3D. On the VHS tape I saw the picture is very fuzzy, and the movie stinks to boot. In the future a couple of mercenaries go looking for Jared Syn. They go into "forbidden territory" and are attacked by Richard Moll and his band of misfits. It looks like a "Road Warrior" type film. Probably was more fun in 3D. How Charles Band was able to convince Universal Studios to make this crud is baffling, but then Universal was a shaky studio in the early 80s. Consider this was the same studio that made ET one year earlier. Baffling. I even remember when this came out on video most video stores would only have one copy of it (not a good sign in 1983). Nothing to recommend.
The long road
gpaulbailey-110 January 2007
I remember going on the special $1 movie night - I think it was on Tuesdays.
A group of us would rate the movies based upon value received (which could be higher than what was paid) but this one got a resounding 25 cents.
The most vivid memory I have of the film is about 20 minutes of driving down a dirt road in 3d. Nothing going on, just driving down a dirt road.
I seem to recall something of the other comments posted here, kind of a Mad Max quality to the costuming. That and kind of garbled dialog. I don't recall the soundtrack that some other posters are enthralled with. Did this ever come out on LaserDisk (I'm guessing that it is not on DVD... maybe I'm wrong). If so, was there a red/blue set of glasses sent along to achieve the 3d effect, or was some other method used?
A group of us would rate the movies based upon value received (which could be higher than what was paid) but this one got a resounding 25 cents.
The most vivid memory I have of the film is about 20 minutes of driving down a dirt road in 3d. Nothing going on, just driving down a dirt road.
I seem to recall something of the other comments posted here, kind of a Mad Max quality to the costuming. That and kind of garbled dialog. I don't recall the soundtrack that some other posters are enthralled with. Did this ever come out on LaserDisk (I'm guessing that it is not on DVD... maybe I'm wrong). If so, was there a red/blue set of glasses sent along to achieve the 3d effect, or was some other method used?
Mind-numbingly dull and beyond pointless
bensonmum218 June 2021
What a wretched movie! The most amazing thing to me when it comes to Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn is that this may have been my second viewing (and what a waste of about 3 hours of my life if I really have seen this twice) . I very vaguely remember watching the movie in the theater back in 1983. I would have been about 19 and a huge fan of the 3-D fad hitting theaters, so it just makes sense. But if I did see Metalstorm, it made no impression on me. And why would it? Metalstorm is such a lifeless experience, it's immediately forgettable.
IMDb's plot summary states: "On a desert planet, warlord Jared-Syn is trying to convince a tribe of mutants that he's their messiah and gain unlimited power hidden in a crystal. Ranger Dogen and explorer Dhyana, whose father was murdered by Syn, must stop him." Instead, my plot description would go something like this, "A Road Warrior-wannabe endlessly walks or slowly drives an uninteresting landscape for no real reason, occasionally running equally uninteresting mutants. These encounters are inevitably followed by poorly executed fight sequences or even more poorly executed (and excruciatingly repetitive) driving sequences." Honestly, that's really all there is to the movie. It's all so pointless.
As I've alluded to, Metalstorm wants to be a Road Warrior, but with a healthy dose of Star Wars thrown into the mix. However, it fails at both. Metalstorm has neither the charm or wonderment of Star Wars, nor the gritty balls-to-the-wall action of Road Warrior. I watch films for entertainment and there's little to be had here. It's a dull, pointless experience with nothing to recommend. The only things that save Metalstorm from a 1/10 are a couple of unintentional laughs and Tim Thomerson. The rest is trash.
2/10.
IMDb's plot summary states: "On a desert planet, warlord Jared-Syn is trying to convince a tribe of mutants that he's their messiah and gain unlimited power hidden in a crystal. Ranger Dogen and explorer Dhyana, whose father was murdered by Syn, must stop him." Instead, my plot description would go something like this, "A Road Warrior-wannabe endlessly walks or slowly drives an uninteresting landscape for no real reason, occasionally running equally uninteresting mutants. These encounters are inevitably followed by poorly executed fight sequences or even more poorly executed (and excruciatingly repetitive) driving sequences." Honestly, that's really all there is to the movie. It's all so pointless.
As I've alluded to, Metalstorm wants to be a Road Warrior, but with a healthy dose of Star Wars thrown into the mix. However, it fails at both. Metalstorm has neither the charm or wonderment of Star Wars, nor the gritty balls-to-the-wall action of Road Warrior. I watch films for entertainment and there's little to be had here. It's a dull, pointless experience with nothing to recommend. The only things that save Metalstorm from a 1/10 are a couple of unintentional laughs and Tim Thomerson. The rest is trash.
2/10.
Long title...bad movie.
Aaron137525 March 2003
This movie was just bad. I only saw it once though so I don't remember a lot of it...I just remember it being quite boring. I think I saw this one on TNT's old Monster vision show and Joe Bob didn't give it very high marks either. Very bad special effects and a bad plot as well. Though it does have Richard Moll in it. What really gets me is the second half of the title of this one. Let's just say it is ironic that it is called the destruction of Jared-Syn. The finale is really bad and I wasn't even sure what happened as they were flying through the cheap special effects.
Arrgh!
Tom-26725 February 1999
Really bad and stupid--so bad it isn't even funny. Kind of like "Plan 9..." You want to laugh at it, but it is so serious you can't.
Like the other fellows commenting, I too was lured to the theater by the exciting teaser. I was 13 years old at the time, and it was the last time I was fooled into seeing such a bad SF effort! Totally disappointing, even for a kid.
Like the other fellows commenting, I too was lured to the theater by the exciting teaser. I was 13 years old at the time, and it was the last time I was fooled into seeing such a bad SF effort! Totally disappointing, even for a kid.
Beware the title!
tuttt4 October 2005
This is about the worst film ever made, with the possible exception of Megaforce.
SPOILER: There's no Metalstorm, and Jared-Syn lives!!!!
It was originally shown in 3D at theaters, the quality of which gave one headaches for hours afterward.
Two questions come to mind w/r/t to the title:
One, where in the h*ll is this so-called frickin' metalstorm?
Two, when is Jared Syn's "destruction" when he escapes at the very end of the stinking film?
Definite MST3K fodder, if MST3K had lasted long enough to work it's way down to this egregious infliction of deep hurting.
SPOILER: There's no Metalstorm, and Jared-Syn lives!!!!
It was originally shown in 3D at theaters, the quality of which gave one headaches for hours afterward.
Two questions come to mind w/r/t to the title:
One, where in the h*ll is this so-called frickin' metalstorm?
Two, when is Jared Syn's "destruction" when he escapes at the very end of the stinking film?
Definite MST3K fodder, if MST3K had lasted long enough to work it's way down to this egregious infliction of deep hurting.
Lame As It Can Be
R Becker7 February 2006
Yes, Jeffrey Byron does resemble Viggo Mortensen. Yes, the talentless Kelly Preston is a movie star to this day (for reasons that utterly escape me). But this tedious attempt to weld together STAR WARS, THE ROAD WARRIOR, a little bit of RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK, and whatever else was handy really only comes alive once Tim Thomerson and Richard Moll are on the screen. Well, that, and the surprisingly exciting score by Richard Band is another plus. But overall, if you get the chance to see METALSTORM, pass it up. For one thing, the cinematography is so badly lit that you'll have a hard time being sure it's the same leading man in many shots. For another, the editing is choppy and distracting during any action scene. For still another, the sand-monsters are about as cornball as they could be. But worst of all--the script is flat and dull, and the directing is lackluster. Give it a miss, you'll never be sorry.
A great 3D high Camp classic
mmcgee28228 December 2016
Warning: Spoilers
For a low budget production it is very good an entertaining.It had invoked a special affects organization that would eventually become big.It was independently done.Eventually universal agreed to get involved in it .At the time in 1983 I knew that the 3D would die .I took advantage of all the 3d movies in the theater .I saw this.The making of the film on the Blu- ray disc two,flat, stated a 3D version of the trailer was shown before the Jaws 3d.I remember at the martin twin theater that no trailer was shown..The production was stopped ,because the producer ran out of money and had to go to the Cannes Film festival to sell the movie.Earlier to sell the movie a white lie was produced to going an illusion that it was already being made to get the money.The character in the film ,the ranger Jeffrey Byron as Dogen,I thought he might have been born the same year I was ,but actually was born the same year my brother was born.Tim Thomerson puts on a very good impersonation of Harrison Ford's Han Solo, but he is a good actor.I don't know why Kelly Preston did not get invoked in the interview ,she still does movies today.Jared son,played by R.David Smith ,who plays his son, looks a lot older than Jared and talk telepathically and has one arm,while the other arm is robotic. It was made during the time of the mad max film ,which has been remade.The 3D was good .It was restored by shout Factory.The title was criticized by those who where involved in the production cause Jared never is destroyed .He escapes in a dark hole of the crystal ,as Dogen chases him with flying motorcycles.It give a false impression that there is going to be made a sequel.Maybe a sequel should be made.I'll tell you one thing the recent star wars on Blu- ray is phony 3D and the new theatrical version is probably the same thing,but this movie was actually shot in 3D.Good entertainment 12/28/16
Early 80s 3-D sci-fi with enough to keep your mind busy
udar551 December 2009
Director Charles Band followed up PARASITE, his first successful foray into the 3-D world, with this futuristic action-adventure film. It is pretty obvious he is going for a mix of THE ROAD WARRIOR and STAR WARS, but I'm not entirely sure it is successful and at times comes off looking more like MEGAFORCE. The action is good though and the film moves at a quick clip. I'm sure the 3-D was pretty impressive in the theater as all sorts of objects are chucked at the screen. There is also one psychedelic, TRON-inspired bit during the end chase that probably had audiences puking dayglo in the aisles. The acting is good though for a b-movie with Thomerson doing his best Han Solo and Richard Moll showing up as a leader of a group of Cyclops. The film "ends" with the most laughable cliffhanger where Jared-Syn gets away (so the title lied!) and Dogen vows, "I'll find him in another dimension one day." Huh? Obviously Band was hoping this would be a series but poor box office returns from a Universal theatrical distribution vetoed that idea and he moved on to start Empire Pictures (which kicked off production with THE DUNGEONMASTER, again starring Byron). Now if only someone could tell me what the hell METALSTORM means.
The closest I ever came to walking out of a film.
xopher-tm18 September 2006
Warning: Spoilers
I saw this in the theaters as a young teen as well. I was very easily entertained then. Still am I'm afraid, but this was - and remains - the worst thing I have ever seen.
I generally LOVE bad films; I can find the entertainment buried deeply in the worst dreck but, geez, this had nothing! The acting, the writing, the effects, even the "3-D" was barely there. The directing was pretty much limited to "point the camera at the actors".
The title "Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn" gives it away - plot and quality. The producers wanted a film called "Metalstorm", content being more or less irrelevant. And the rest of the movie is summarized after the colon.
I have never walked out of a film, but this is the closest I have come yet.
I generally LOVE bad films; I can find the entertainment buried deeply in the worst dreck but, geez, this had nothing! The acting, the writing, the effects, even the "3-D" was barely there. The directing was pretty much limited to "point the camera at the actors".
The title "Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn" gives it away - plot and quality. The producers wanted a film called "Metalstorm", content being more or less irrelevant. And the rest of the movie is summarized after the colon.
I have never walked out of a film, but this is the closest I have come yet.
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