Last Night at the Alamo (1983)

Tina-Bess Hubbard: Mary

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Quotes 

• [first lines] 

  Ichabod William : I told that goddamn son-of-a-bitch to have my fuckin' car ready by five-goddamn-o'clock this afternoon, that asshole! Now I gotta drive around all fuckin' weekend in this goddamned rat-tailed piece of shit. It's bad enough I gotta drive this truck all week, now I gotta fuckin' drive it around all fuckin' weekend!

  Mary : William, why do you cus so much? I'll bet if you could go a whole day without cussin, you'd just roll over and die.

  Ichabod William : Well, goddamn Mary! If you had to drive around all weekend in this rat-tailed piece of shit, you'd cus too!

  Mary : Well, I haven't said a single cus word yet, right?

  Ichabod William : That ain't the point. You ain't gotta drive it.

  Mary : But I still gotta ride in it, right?

• Mary : William, calm down. Stop cussin' at those motorists. They can't help it if they're fat. Besides, the way you drink you'd end up with a beer gut before long and then what? You'd cus yourself?

  Ichabod William : Now Mary, a fuckin' beer gut ain't the same thing as being fat.

  Mary : Oh, they do. They do.

  Ichabod William : They don't fuckin' count! I know a lotta people that got a beer gut and ain't fat.

  Mary : Like who?

  Ichabod William : Like, Cowboy. And he's a skinny-ass motherfucker!

  Mary : Oh, please! If there's a law against being fat, there ought to be a law against beer guts too.

  Ichabod William : There ain't no one gonna vote for it.

  Mary : Well, I would. You drink too much!

  Ichabod William : Mary... just get off my back. I had a real hard day at work. I'm driving around in this rat-tailed piece of shit truck. I take you to a lotta nice places all the time, and you just give me a lotta shit and I don't need it!