The Best Christmas Pageant Ever (1983 TV Movie)

Shane Punt: Ollie Herdman

Quotes 

• Ralph Herdman : What did she says the play is called?

  Leroy Herdman : "Christmas Pageant."

  Ollie Herdman : That's no name. That's what it is.

  Gladys Herdman : I know a name. I'd call it "Revenge at Bethlehem."

• Claude Herdman : What's an "Inn"?

  Elmer : It's like a motel.

  Ollie Herdman : Why'd they go there?

  Elmer : To pay their taxes.

  Ollie Herdman : At a motel?

• Imogene Herdman : Somedy better be Herod!

  Grace Bradley : Imogene, we're going to do this play the way it has always been done.

  Imogene Herdman : [grabs Charlie by the collar]  I know! Let Charlie be Herod. He tells the wise men to kill Jesus, and they say "okay" 'cause he's a king and all.

  Ollie Herdman : But then they don't do it. They go back and get Herod...

  [gesturing stabbing motions] 

  Ollie Herdman : "Take that, Herod! Take that!"

  Charlie Bradley : I'm not going to be Herod!