The Toy (1982)
Jackie Gleason: U.S. Bates
Photos
Quotes
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U.S. Bates : Eric bought a black man.
Fancy Bates : I wasn't aware that we sold them.
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U.S. Bates : I only get Eric for a week each year.
Jack Brown : Then you should get better lawyers, you shouldn't have to have him that long.
U.S. Bates : It just so happens I love him.
Jack Brown : Frankly, Scarlet, I don't give a damn.
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U.S. Bates : Are you crazy?
Jack Brown : Yes! But trust me!
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U.S. Bates : Take your pants down
Morehouse : Sir?
U.S. Bates : Take your pants down.
[Morehouse pulls his pants down]
U.S. Bates : That's power.
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U.S. Bates : [Jack Brown is dressed as a waitress] You're pretty strong for a little lady and you have a lot of hair on your lip. We don't like our waitresses to have hairy lips. So I'll tell you what, shave. Oh, and after you shave, you're fired.
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U.S. Bates : The truth has nothing to do with reality. You have to deal with reality. In reality, any one of these people, with a little persuasion, will say what I want them to say, because I am reality.
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U.S. Bates : For that kind of money, if Eric blows his nose, you wipe it.
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U.S. Bates : Are you crazy?
Jack Brown : Yes, but trust me!
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U.S. Bates : I want Eric to understand that having money means never having to say you're sorry.
Jack Brown : I think that's about all the kid understands.
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Jack Brown : Two-seven.
U.S. Bates : Two-five.
Jack Brown : Three thousand dollars.
U.S. Bates : I wonder if Eric knows what kind of a bastard he's getting.
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Senator Newcomb : These democrats don't normally support us.
U.S. Bates : Now, Senator, we agreed to keep that under our hats. If they knew this was a fund raiser, we'd be all alone.
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U.S. Bates : Fair-weather friend bastard.
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Fancy Bates : Heaven forbid, you just tell him no, you ass.
U.S. Bates : That's U.S., not you ass.
