A Midsummer Night's Sex Comedy (1982)

Julie Hagerty: Dulcy

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dulcy : There's another sapsucker!

  Maxwell : How come everything you say sounds dirty?

• Leopold : Have you ever made love with a much older man?

  Dulcy : Yes.

  Leopold : Illicitly? In the woods?

  Dulcy : Yes.

  Leopold : Was he a genius.

  Dulcy : He was a dentist.

• Dulcy : A hammock! That's so nostalgic for me. I lost it in a hammock.

  Adrian : Pardon me?

  Dulcy : You have to have really good balance.

• Dulcy : [Aroused]  Leopold, bite me. Harder. Harder!

  Leopold : I can't. These are not my teeth.

• Maxwell : What are you smiling at, Miss Ford?

  Dulcy : Oh, I was thinking about something I'd read in The Katzenjammer Kids.

• Leopold : When prehistoric man roamed these very woods, naked and savage.

  Dulcy : You mean the good old days?

  Leopold : Yes! You think you'd like to see some long-haired neanderthal, his primitive weapon in hand, stalking through the brush like an animal, never dreaming that someday he will be extinct and *culture* will be the order of the day.

  Dulcy : Well, I'd like to try it for one night.

• Dulcy : I couldn't sleep. So, I came downstairs to read The Katzenjammer Kids.

  Leopold : Katzenjammer Kids? That's extraordinary. That's what happened in the dream.

  Dulcy : What dream?

  Leopold : Just now. Before I awoke. I was dreaming this.

  Dulcy : Me?

  Leopold : Precisely this! This is incredible. We were alone and you were lying across a sofa and you were reading and I asked you what and you said, "Katzenjammer Kids." And I thought it was funny. And then, your robe fell open, slightly. Only slightly. The way it is now. And I was taken with a great erotic fervor. And all the terrible thoughts of my whole life, that I'd been afraid to unleash, poured forth.

  Dulcy : How did I react?

  Leopold : Then you pressed your lips to mine and then the scene changed. And we were two savages in the wilderness. It was a prehistoric era. And I was a neanderthal, hunting my enemies with primitive weapons, and loving you uninhibitedly!

  Dulcy : Jesus, what did you eat before you went to bed?

• Maxwell : Did you not know that I had my eye on you these last two weeks?

  Dulcy : Why, I've only been working here for five days.

  Maxwell : Oh, I lose track. You always seem so shy around me.

  Dulcy : The nurses on the floor say you're fast.

  Maxwell : Me?

  Dulcy : I mean, I think you're handsome.

• Maxwell : Come with me, we'll have a fabulous weekend. We'll sun and swim and drink beer. Naturally, I'll make sure we have separate rooms.

  Dulcy : We don't need separate rooms.

• Dulcy : [showing off her swimsuit]  Do you like it?

  Maxwell : No, No. Not a bit. You know, my blood pressure is always 90 over 680.

  Dulcy : It drives them wild at Coney Island. But, if we're going to be in a country stream, why do I have to wear anything at all?

• Dulcy : I brought some contraceptives with me, in case you forgot.

  Maxwell : Oh, good; because, I only brought 300.

  [kiss] 

• Dulcy : I've been to Paris twice; but, I was miserable both times. Probably because I was there with the wrong person.

  Ariel : Oh, that's - that's important. Because, it's such a romantic place. If two people are really in love, a city like Paris becomes a great medium for which to explore their feelings. Don't you think, Leopold?

  Leopold : I like large cities.

  Ariel : Oh, and in the rain! Mmm.

• Dulcy : I wouldn't mind learning chess.

  Leopold : I feel it would be tame for you.

  Dulcy : Well, I like the way the stallions look.

  Leopold : They're called knights. That's a knight. Not a stallion.

• Dulcy : It's like swimming. It's a measured stroke. And remember, here's the key: when the sperm count is low, they won't listen to reason. But, when the sperm count is high, they'll do anything you want.

  Adrian : It sounds awfully clinical.

  Dulcy : Well, we're just going over some basics. But, if you love the guy, it should all come together with a certain sense of danger and excitement. You shouldn't just limit yourself to the bedroom. It should be full of surprise and spontaneity. It shouldn't be routine.

• Adrian : Where will you settle after you marry?

  Leopold : I've taken a townhouse near the University. I can't wait for Ariel to meet the professors and their wives. Already I'm the envy of entire faculty. You'll adore Professor Eddy and his wife. They're a very entertaining couple with a kind of a theme to their marriage. You see, he specializes in Dr. Johnson and she teaches Boswell. So, they're an entertaining, amusing couple and I look forward to many wonderful chats.

  Adrian : Well, to wonderful chats and Boswell and Johnson and Leopold and Ariel and this summer night and you two, of course...

  Dulcy : And Maxwell.

  Adrian : And to Dr. Maxwell Jordan.

  Andrew : Doctor of high jinks!

  Leopold : Of course, to Adrian and Andrew.

• Dulcy : Isn't it true, the best opportunities only happen once.

• Leopold : Blood! Blood! I've drawn blood! And I relished it!

  Dulcy : Leopold, what's gotten into you?

  Leopold : I've returned from the hunt.

  Dulcy : Leopold, what's an intellectual genius like you want with a simple young nurse like me?