- Harry Crystal: There's one thing you learn in this business, and you keep on learning it: There's always a bigger agent, there's always a better part, and there's always a prettier girl.
- Artie Shoemaker: I'll tell you what my problem is! A dream is waiting to come true, and I can't find a bed to put it on!
- Harry Crystal: I wouldn't dream of it, Sperm.
- Sherman Sprat: The name is Sherman.
- Harry Crystal: That's right, Sperm. You tell 'em, Sperm.