- [after using Ramones music to make a mouse explode in a puff of smoke]
- Miss Togar: Notice the loss of hearing.
- Fritz Hansel: The gym!
- Fritz Gretel: Girls!
- Fritz Hansel: Music!
- Fritz Gretel: Legs!
- Fritz Hansel: Dancing!
- Fritz Gretel: Boobs!
- Fritz Hansel: Randell!
- Fritz Gretel: Sex...
- Mr. McGree: I think they're trying to tell us something.
- Usher: Oh, I'm sorry. We don't let any more mice in here. They've been exploding all over the place.
- Riff: On behalf of the students from Vince Lombardi High who are here tonight, I'd just like to say one thing: Screw you, Principal Togar, we made it to the concert anyway!
- Kate: She's my friend.
- Miss Togar: A friend that will lead you down the road to expulsion.
- Riff: [air guitar] I'm a teenage lobotomy.
- Tom Roberts: [needs to see Eaglebauer] Miss, you don't understand. See, uh, this is an emergency.
- Norma: Animal, vegetable, or mineral?
- Tom Roberts: Um... sexual.
- Miss Togar: You two are not doing your job. Look at me when I'm talking to you! You're supposed to be my eyes, my ears, my nose.
- Miss Togar: [Hansel and Gretel sneeze; Togar wipes her nose] Thank you.
- Usher: [to Mr. McGree] Oh, sorry, Mantovani's down the block.
- Mr. McGree: I'm hep, Daddy-o. I'm into the Ramones.
- Joey Ramone: [singing] You heard that I'm no good/Yeah, yeah, I'm no good/But I'll treat you like I should/I want you around/I want you around...
- Angel Dust: I'm *first* in line! And if you don't like it, you can put it where the monkey puts the nuts!
- Miss Evelyn Togar: Just what do you have to say for yourself - young lady?
- Riff Randell: I've seen the errors of my ways. I'd just like to say to all students everywhere. That you may think the school is yours for awhile. But, it's always run by the Principal and her administration. Vince Lombardi High is - is your school Miss Togar. So you can have it.
- Miss Evelyn Togar: Well, I'm very happy to see that you've come to your senses. And what would you have done with the school anyway?
- Riff Randell: Rock the roof off it. Hit it, Marky!
- Joey Ramone: [singing] Rock, rock, rock, rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School, Well I don't care about history, Rock, rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School, 'Cause that's not where I wanna be, Rock, rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School, I just wanna have some kicks, I just wanna get some chicks, Rock, rock, rock, rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School...
- [BOOM! The school blows up]
- Miss Togar: Well, I think that should teach them a lesson in deportment.
- Fritz Hansel: How do you spell that?
- Miss Togar: D-e-portment.
- Screamin' Steve Stevens: I'd like to introduce the two winners of the charity ticket raffle donated by the principal of Vince Lombardi High.
- Boy In Crowd: [yells] Togar eats it!
- Miss Togar: [holding phone to radio broadcasting live Ramones concert] That, Mrs. Rambeau, is where your daughter is.
- Mrs. Rambeau: [over phone] My daughter, Kate? I thought she was in the basement splitting photons.
- [the Ramones pull up to the high school, where Principal Togar is burning rock and roll albums, and get out of their car]
- Riff: Hey, come on, you guys, follow me into the school! Come on!
- Mr. McGree: I regret that I have only one life to give for rock and roll!
- Riff: Come on, go with us, Mr. McGree. Come on.
- Miss Togar: [meeting the Ramones] Oh, well, I'm happy to see that some students still are interested in their studies.
- Johnny Ramone: Hey, we're not students. We're the Ramones.
- Miss Togar: And just what do you have to say for yourself, young lady?
- Riff: I've seen the errors of my ways. I'd just like to say to all students everywhere that you may think the school is yours for a while, but it's always run by the principal and her administration.
- Miss Togar: [to the police and parents] Oh, that's nice.
- Riff: Vince Lombardi High is your school, Miss Togar. So you can have it.
- Miss Togar: [gloating] Well, I'm very happy to see that you've come to your senses. And what would you have done with the school, anyway?
- Riff: Rock the roof off it. Hit it, Marky!
- [the Ramones burst into playing "Rock and Roll High School"]
- Mr. McGree: Hey, guys, you know, people say that your music is loud and destructive and lethal to mice; but, I think you're the Beethovens of our time.
- [last lines]
- Screamin' Steve Stevens: Well, that about wraps it up here at Rock 'n' Roll High. Remember, if your principal ever gives *you* trouble, if you want *this*
- [pointing to the burning school building behind him]
- Screamin' Steve Stevens: to happen at your school, you just give ol' Screamin' Steve a call. I'm in the book - under SCARRRREAMIN'!
- Tom Roberts: I got to get myself together. I need to improve my self image. I need to broaden my horizons! Riff Randell. I need to get laid.
- Eaglebauer: Tell me - exactly what you want out of life.
- Tom Roberts: I want someone with huge breasts.
- Eaglebauer: The sweet, stirring, passionate youth.
- Tom Roberts: I want to get laid before I'm 30.
- Eaglebauer: Are you a virgin?
- Tom Roberts: Do you mean - technically?
- Eaglebauer: You've come to the right place.
- Miss Evelyn Togar: If its discipline that you students need, I am the one who can provide it for you.
- Miss Evelyn Togar: You have managed to upset the entire school with this god forsaken noise.
- Riff Randell: Noise? That's the Ramones best album. Number one with a bullet.
- Kate Rambeau: This will never work. Tom will never like me. I don't know who I'm kidding. What possible reason could there be to put myself through all of this? Sex. I must admit, as far as reasons go, it must be one of the best.
- Riff Randell: I've written a song for the Ramones. Wait till he hears this.
- [singing]
- Riff Randell: Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School, Well I don't care about history,
- Riff Randell, Girls in Gym Class: Rock, rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School
- Riff Randell: 'Cause that's not where I wanna be
- Riff Randell, Girls in Gym Class: Rock, rock, Rock 'n' Roll High School
- Riff Randell: I just wanna have some kicks...
- Kate Rambeau: Do you think Tom Roberts is cute?
- Cheryl: Yeah. But, he's such a dork.
- Kate Rambeau: No he's not! I think he's a fox.
- Riff Randell: A fox? Tom Roberts is so boring his brother is an only child. He's not half as hot as Joey Ramone.
- Kate Rambeau: Who's Joey Ramone?
- Riff Randell: Where have you been? Mars?
- Miss Evelyn Togar: I've noticed a number of peculiar incidents among the members of this student body - all having to do with rock and roll music.
- Tom Roberts: Look at all this stuff! Tele-TV, stereo, wet bar, water bed! Say, I never knew gettin' laid was so expensive.