Doing Time (1979)

Daniel Peacock: Rudge

Quotes 

• [watching Mackay testing the curry in the prison kitchens] 

  Fletcher : Course, he sees 'imself as an authority on curry, he does, on account of where he was stationed in the army.

  Rudge : India?

  Fletcher : No, Bradford.

• Mr Beal : What you in for?

  Rudge : Two years.

  Mr Beal : I didn't mean time, I meant offence.

  Oakes : None taken.

• [Fletcher and Rudge are on their way to the kitchens when another inmate passes by] 

  Fletcher : Watch out for 'im. 'Es the mad butcher of Slade prison.

  Rudge : What did he do?

  Fletcher : Fiddle the VAT on his sausages.

• Fletcher : Don't worry, it may never happen.

  Rudge : Already has - I'm 'ere, ain't I?

  Fletcher : Now look: whatever you're in here for, you did it, didn't you?

  Rudge : Bang to rights? Yeah.

  Fletcher : Yeah. Just like me. If we hadn't been caught we'd have been Jack The Lad, wouldn't we? But we was; we was collared. And that's that. So don't bleat. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

  Rudge : I ain't bleating.

  Fletcher : Good. Prison is like life, you know. You need something to believe in in 'ere. Something to hang onto so you don't go under. You can't buck the system; it's mad to try. But you can lift a heart with an occasional little victory.

• Fletcher : Cheer up, might never 'appen.

  Rudge : Already 'as, I'm 'ere ain't I?

  Fletcher : Now look. Whatever you're in 'ere for you did it didn't ya?

  Rudge : Banged to rights? Yeah!

  Fletcher : Yeah. Just like me. If we 'adn't have been caught we'd have been Jack the lad wouldn't we? But no. We was. We was collared, so don't bleat. If you can't do the time, don't do the crime.

• Rudge : Who was that fellow on the landing?

  Fletcher : Who? Him? Harry Grout. He runs this prison.

  Rudge : I thought that was the governor's job.

  Fletcher : No only officially sonny. Next time you meet him bow, curtsy or lick his boots if he asks, all right?

• Fletcher : Here you are lad. Shovel it.

  Rudge : Shovel what?

  Fletcher : Shovel that.

  Rudge : Shovel it where?

  Fletcher : From here to there.

  Rudge : Why?

  Fletcher : Why? Ah, if only we knew that sonny, but we don't do we. Ours not to reason why, ours but to clean the sty. Wordsworth.