Angels' Brigade (1979) User Reviews

Send. Acting. Coach.

[websterglobe-1 · 1/10 · 19 October 2005]

Let's see. There was the idea that seven women without any sort of training of any kind would bring down a drug kingpin. There was the fact that none of these women ever thought to call in the police. There was the drug kingpin who stored millions of dollars of drugs in a ludicrously unguarded "processing compound."

There was this famous pop star who can apparently get around Los Angeles completely unrecognized. There was a "Vietnamese" character with a Japanese name. There was this high school girl hanging on to the trunk of a Caddy, uncommented upon by other drivers, as it sped through LA.

There were appearances by such actors as Jack Palance, Jim Backus(if you watch MST3K's version, Angel's Revenge, you can actually hear Mike and the bots groan when Backus makes his appearance), Peter Lawford(Tom Servo: "Do you think Peter Lawford even knows where he is?") and Arthur Godfrey. And there were plot holes aplenty and lots more awfulness besides this.

All of this and more make for one of the worst movies ever made by anyone. That anybody thought this was a good idea and that actors of the caliber of Jack Palance agreed to participate is mind-boggling. Watch the MST3K version which is one of their best efforts.

Best Watched in MST3000

[boblipton · 1/10 · 23 May 2020]

Here's a typical Mystery Science Theater 3000 flick, as seven large-breasted women take on a drug syndicate headed by Jack Palance and Peter Lawford. Not only is it a dumb rip-off of CHARLIE'S ANGELS in which the women run into battle like they're wearing high heels, but it is a catalogue of movie-making goofs, including mismatched shots, bad lip-syncing, visible cameras and crossing the line.

Much of the production money seems to have been spent on short appearances by Arthur Godfrey, Alan Hale Jr. and Jim Backus. Writer/producer/director Greydon Clark may be better known for SATAN'S CHEERLEADERS; he has certainly never done better than this inept piece of garbage.

Should be shown as punishment!

[bat-5 · 1/10 · 23 May 1999]

Even watching this from the relative safety of MST3K, I felt offended at the events being shown. Jack Palance running around in that suit! Alan Hale, never being able to escape the role of The Skipper, and Mr. Howell er, Jim Backus, throwing away whatever dignity he had. Then there's our main characters. A very broad (no pun intended) range of just about every ethnicity, job, stereotype that you could think of. Very bad acting from our leading ladies here. I would like to think that Jack took this role on advice from his agent, who was probably drunk, and then quickly fired him. On a slightly different note, the cinematographer was one Dean Cundey. He has since gone on to bigger and better films such as Apollo 13.

Who brought the brain?

[johnnysugar · 4/10 · 25 February 2003]

An extended jiggle-fest made watchable only through the gracious lens of "Mystery Science Theatre 3000", "Angels' Bridage" (aka "Angels' Revenge") is a truly embarrassing rip-off of "Charlie's Angels" seemingly written and directed by hormone-crazed 16-year-old boys and starring an overwhelming number of has-been B-movie character actors.

The plot, as much as there is one, involves a quasi-feminist schoolteacher trying to take out a drug ring that pushes to kids. She enlists the aid of six stereotypes...er, I mean characters: a sassy black stunt driver, an Asian martial artist (of course), a disco singer, an oversexed model, a tough cop that loves her weaponry, and a bratty, annoying teenager who happens to be one of the teacher's students.

This movie is filled with things that will either make you laugh, cringe, or simply scratch your head, depending on your tolerance for horrid cinema. There's the Vietnamese character with the Japanese name. The singer whose record is "still climbing" up the charts but is still recognized by every character in the film. The "top model" who does her fashion shoots in a mall parking lot. Jim Backus in thigh-high military boots. A genital-mutilation-as-interrogation scene played for laughs. A squad of bouncy women who paint their nails and wear spiked heels on a commando raid. And don't forget the score, which rips off all sorts of recognizable music, from the theme to "Charlie's Angels" to John Williams' opening music for "Jaws" to Strauss' "Thus Spake Zarathustra" (also known as the music from "2001: A Space Odyssey").

See what Aaron Spelling hath wrought? 1 out of 10.

horrible thing to view but very funny mst3k!!!!

[otisfirefly2001 · 13 October 2004]

this movie might almost be unwatchable had it not been on MST3K. the movie is soo bad that it's good.

now let's run the numbers with the things wrong:

1) Story: bad, horrible, lack-there-of, lame. take your pick. This movie's story really never takes the time to play itself out, it really consists of one, long flashback told by one of the lead characters, and boy is it a long flashback. Maybe one of the longest in film history! We get a little something about six semi-hot women(well hot for the 70's) who are fed up with drugs being pushed to kids and decide to do something about it. What do they do? They decide they are going to blow up one small drug producing building and that is the end of drugs everywhere. Sadly this movie fails to grasp the concept that there is more then one building to destroy, but they only destroy the one and that's it. as crow says it "So they just destroyed all the drugs in the world?" Which pretty much sums up all their actions in a nutshell.

2) the acting is not so up to par. No one really turns in a decent roll in the movie, except Jack Pallance, and why he was in this movie is a good question. Possible summing it up with another thing that crow says, "Jack's down years". The rest of the characters stumble through their dialogue and try to seem convincing, but it's just not possible with this movie(and I use this term lightly - it's more like a romp through the bowls of bad cinema).

Nothing much else can be said about this bad movie, except that it made for one good episode of MST3K. Probably one of my favorites next to Puma Man, Jack Frost, and a few others.

I would only recommend this movie if you are viewing the mst3k version. You are guaranteed the laugh through the episode.

SHINE, SHINE...Shine your love!!

[InzyWimzy · 4/10 · 24 February 2004]

Ow, it stings! Angel's Revenge is one of those movies that makes you smile, laugh, feel confusion, and extreme pain all at the same time. The makers of this one probably thought, "There's enough rubes out there who'd be fooled into thinking this is Charlie's Angels, so let's make a movie!" The result is a movie full of made-for-TV preservative preservatives. Some scenes are so laughably ridiculous like the drug compound and it's poorly defended facility. That's what Peter Lawford gets for hiring Jack Palance! After seeing a share of Bs, I have grown an appreciation of seeing Jack in low budget schlockers, but this film hurts so much that he's not even in the majority of the film! Probably out boozing it up with Pete backstage. Beware of Jim Bacchus in his role...be warned! This movie doesn't take itself seriously which becomes apparent really really soon.

The gals are definitely eye candy...and that's about it! Acting was not a prerequisite nor was having any dignity for being involved with this film! Watch the action sequences and why no action choreographer was hired (that would blow the entire budget!). Just your stereotypical big explosions, car chases, A-Team rip-off wannabe van, a girl hanging on to the trunk of a car, bouncing on trampoline, and so much more. See this MST style and see Mike, Tom, and Crow boogie down to the sultry singing of Michelle Wilson!

"Don't Watch the Jiggling honey"

[Cloud-6 · 1/10 · 23 June 1999]

For a very long time I've wondered if a lot of bad movies would eventually get what they deserved... AND THIS heap of crap got it! A good Thrashing from our pals on Mystery Science Theater 3000! I'm so utterly disgusted by the acting on the part of the women in this movie that the only way I could stand it was while Mike, Crow and Tom Servo throw great jokes at the stupidity and insanity on the screen. To be frank, can't we just destroy every copy of this film and pretend it never existed?

Proof positive: There are NO original ideas!

[editguy · 2/10 · 22 August 2006]

Well, maybe one or two. But Hollywood being what it is, the producers of this dreck-fest took the easy way out and made themselves a low-budget version of Charlie's Angels.

As the MST3K guys would say, "This movie is refreshingly itself." What's tragic is to watch both the parade of no-talent jigglers who make up the Angels (dedicated to ineptly keeping drugs off the streets), and the parade of actual Hollywood legends, all clearly down on their luck. It's especially painful to watch Jim Backus, nearing the end of a 40+ year career, harrumph his way through this trainwreck, helped by his island-mate Alan Hale (no, he doesn't get a "little Buddy" line off, but he should have.) Jack Palance and Peter Lawford sell out as well...at least Palance made a comeback of sorts after the City Slickers movies.

The Angels represent every female stereotype, from the mousy schoolteacher to the hip black stuntwoman, to the perky teenager who wants to join the crimefighting. All look good in the requisite white spandex (funny how none of the crooks notices squads of perky woman in white uniforms on their top-secret property, eh?) The hidden jewel of this film is behind the camera. Cinematographer Dean Cundey would go on to direct photography in the Back to the Future series, Forrest Gump, Apollo 13, and Roger Rabbit. In this film, he seems to have been limited to two lights, both with low-wattage bulbs...

Cundey was lucky -- the rest of the cast, stars and tyros alike, for the most part are rarely if ever seen again!

Aaron Spelling has a lot to answer for...

[lemon_magic · 2/10 · 25 November 2005]

Brain-dead jiggle-fest? Why, yes indeed, you've come to the right place.

Angel's Revenge/Brigade is basically "Charlie's Angels" with twice the number of cast members (six women - plus a 'high school teenager' - instead of three) and approximately 1/10th of the talent. Would be first time viewers should adjust their expectations accordingly.

Look, no one is ever going to list Kate Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, etc., among the great actresses of the '70s, but the original Angels had a lot of charm and charisma, and they could deliver their lines, interact with each other, do their stage business and blocking, and hit their marks like the professionals they were. It was all facile dreck, but it was professional level dreck.

On the other hand, "Angel's Brigade" features seven of the stiffest, most unconvincing and grating actresses on the planet. The women are moderately hot (except for the lanky black actress, who is saddled with a huge afro that makes her look like a human dandelion ), but they simply C-A-N-N-O-T deliver convincing readings of their lines. The director seems to realize this, and so he dumbs down the proceedings in an attempt to avoid making the girls show any kind of recognizable human emotion...and the resulting screenplay is so bad, so lame, that it takes genuine talents like Jack Palance, Peter Lawford, and Arthur Godfrey (and several longtime character actors like Jim Backus) and simply embarrasses them with idiotic throwaway parts that completely waste their talents. Lawford, Godfrey, and Backus, especially, all appear to be hammered out of their skulls..it's as if they couldn't be bothered to sober up long enough to appear even in the briefest scenes.

God, the whole thing is just so inane...I know this thing is not meant to be taken seriously, that it is just a goof, but it's so damned careless and annoying. One Angel disables a thug by opening a beach umbrella in his face. Another Angel takes out a thug with a back-fist accompanied by a Hanna-Barbera 'BOINK!' sound effect.A third Angel takes a hit to her, um, talents, but she has a life raft tucked under her shirt which protects her and she makes an indignant face and pulls out the raft and bonks the thug over the head with it...it's not funny and light hearted, it's just STUPID.

MST3K struggled mightily to have fun with this one, and their commentary is almost enough to turn this into a watchable experience. I can't imagine trying to watch this one 'straight'.

Avoid the original version like the plague. Even the jiggles and the jumpsuits aren't compensation enough for the pain of the performances and the screenplay.

"Women can make a difference!"

[bensonmum2 · 4/10 · 27 June 2007]

When I write one of these things, I generally try to sound reasonably intelligent. I try to do more than write "It SUX" or "Best Movie I've Ever Seen". I honestly try to put a little more thought into it than that. But with Angel's Revenge (or Angels' Brigade – which I actually prefer), I'm at a loss. Angel's Revenge has to be one of the stupidest movies I've ever seen. No deep insightful stuff here – just stupid! At every opportunity, the movie completely insulted my intelligence. Want an example? – The mere fact that this group of women in matching white jumpsuits could sneak into a heavily guarded compound with their feathered hair and jiggling breasts and successfully disarm the bad guys with their lame attempts at martial arts and blow-up the place would insult the intelligence of anyone with an IQ above that of pond scum.

With that being said, it's hard to admit that I actually enjoyed much of Angel's Revenge. Regardless of how bad it was, I was inexplicably entertained. There's just something about mindless 70s junk that I can't resists. I can't bring myself to rate it any lower than a 4/10.

Angel's Revenge is yet another MST3K viewing for me. I've always thought that MST3K did some of their best work with movies like this (include Mitchell and San Francisco International in that mix). The riffs are often laugh-out-loud funny. On my MST3K rating scale, I give this episode a 4/5 – an episode worth seeking out.

Finally, I've seen Angel's Revenge compared with Charlie's Angels in a number of reviews. While Charlie's Angels may have "inspired" the making of Angel's Revenge, the comparison should end there. Kate, Jaclyn, and Farrah come across as thespians when compared with this group of women!

Angels' Revenge

[Scarecrow-88 · 2/10 · 11 September 2010]

Unbearably awful "liberated sexy woman" action movie obviously influenced by CHARLIE'S ANGELS has a group of young women, from all walks of life(stunt woman, Vegas singer, school teacher)deciding to take up crimefighting focusing their efforts on drug smuggling/dealing. Jack Palance must endure a lackey role as the enforcer for kingpin Peter Lawford(who seems drunk for most of his screen time), but poor Jim Backus(GILLIGAN'S ISLAND)is stuck in the role of bumbling fool, some sort of fascist running a camp who the girls embarrass. Without some eye candy(let's be honest, these gals weren't hired for their acting chops), this movie would definitely be hard to stomach. Susan Kiger and Noela Velasco provide some delicious bouncing boobs to admire, while Lieu Chinh gets to hack Lawford's goons with her samurai sword. Liza Greer, as the teenage girl who wants to be a part of the all-girl heroine team, is particularly side-splitting with her performance. Pat Buttram stops by as a car salesman with an endless supply of redneck jokes symbolizing actions by the girls as they attempt to "negotiate" a bargain for a van they later turn into their superhero vehicle. Lots of explosions help, but ANGELS' REVENGE is a flick I want to eliminate from memory as soon as possible..that is except for Kiger in a bikini. Palance not only gets beat up by a woman, he doesn't fare well against Lawford's doberman either.

I don't care what others say, this was FUN, damn it!

[Hey_Sweden · 8/10 · 29 June 2013]

Sure, it won't win any prizes for technical achievement or (especially) acting, but it is what it is: lively female-empowerment action entertainment for the drive-in crowd. If you watch this for the stars involved, be warned that some of them were hired basically just for their name value. Still, cult director Greydon Clark ("Without Warning", "Joysticks") keeps this silly diversion racing forward. Some viewers may know this flick for its being lampooned on 'Mystery Science Theater 3000', but the fact of the matter is that this was obviously meant to be played for laughs to begin with.

Playboy Playmate Susan Kiger plays Michelle Wilson, a successful singer whose kid brother is beaten up by "Sticks" (Clark regular Darby Hinton), a drug pusher. It takes Michelle no time to take a schoolteacher, April Thomas (the directors' wife, Jacqueline Cole), up on her offer to assist in destroying a processing plant used by dealers. Soon April and Michelle are recruiting other young women, including a stunt driver, Terry Grant (Sylvia Anderson), a martial artist, Kako Umaro (Lieu Chinh), a policewoman, Elaine Brenner (Robin Greer), and a model, Maria (Noela Velasco) to join in the fight against drug trafficking. Meanwhile, a student, Trish (Liza Greer), tries to tag along, wanting to be in on the action.

The ladies are lovely and fun to watch, no matter how seriously they may be lacking in acting ability. The veterans & guest stars are likewise thoroughly entertaining, including Jack Palance as a goon and Peter Lawford as the drug kingpin, Jim Backus as a member of a right wing militia, Neville Brand as Elaines' boss, Pat Buttram as a van salesman, and Alan Hale Jr. as Michelles' agent. Legendary TV & radio host Arthur Godfrey appears fleetingly as himself. Palances' son Cody has a small role as a young thug.

The movie is often uproariously silly, complete with goofy comedy bits like the one with Backus, and cartoon-like sound effects. The scene transitions are particularly amusing. And there's enough gunfire, explosions, and stunts going on to ensure that things never get boring.

Just go into this thing not expecting anything remotely resembling high art, be prepared not to exercise your brain too much, and get ready to laugh, and one *can* actually enjoy this.

Eight out of 10.

So bad, it's great!

[steve187 · 7/10 · 4 February 2002]

Oh, this film is horrible, make no mistake about it. The reason I gave it a 7 is because it's so bad as a straight-faced movie that it's an A+ as garbage! This film is really really bad, I don't have to tell you that. But if you are looking for a few hours of "oh my God, I can't believe they made this", it's not bad. MST3K spoofed it awhile back, and it's one of their better episodes. And, get this -- I knew Susan Kiger (AKA - the singer)! She is still hot, and a very sweet person. I was watching the MST3K version one day, and realized -- OHMYGOD, I know her! I brought it up to her, and she laughed and was shocked that I knew the movie. I gave her a copy of the MST3k version (funny, since they rip on her pretty harshly), and she loved it! What a good sport!

A Microcosm of Why I Hate Charlie's Angels

[kilgore2345 · 1/10 · 5 March 2004]

Big breasts and nice bums are not enough for me. In my opinion there are not that many attractive people in this piece of junk besides. What really irks me about this movie is supposed righteous theme that is presented by our heroines. Drugs are bad, everyone knows this, but why did they see it fit to become crimefighters? They never really did go for the police, nor sought any type of help...instead this motley crew finds it necessary to fight for themselves. Without any experience, the audience has to make a leap of faith that these women know what they are doing. Seven untrained, naive women are going to bring down the entire empire of a drug lord. In a matter of days, these unheard and unknown group of seven women from backgrounds that have nothing to do with crimefighting, become a highly organized group that is able to take down this drug lord or any type of evil in the world. This story has so many lapses of logic, that I bet whoever wrote it never thought of proofreading; I compare it to a term paper written the night before. A completely icky movie.

low budget rip-off, but fun

[J.P. · 20 May 1999]

In a desperate attempt to capitalize on "Charlie's Angels", this movie pits seven (six, really) buxom, bejumpsuited beauties against the evil forces of Peter Lawford, Jack Palance, and some oily guy, all three of whom are pushing drugs on kids (who weren't getting paid for speaking roles). Lawford and Palance were probably down in the wine cellar for most of the filming, but where else can you see Pat Buttram, Alan Hale, jr., Jim Backus AND Arthur Godfrey all drool over the same women in one flick? One of the best MST3Ks.

It's Jiggly Rip-off fest '79!

[raptor_2 · 1/10 · 19 January 2000]

From the Halls of Great Pain at MST3K headquarters comes an uncalled for rip off of Charlie's Angels, Angels Revenge (Brigade)!

Here, a few good actors and a lot of bad ones unite in a barage of shameful "starring" parts to make the real main characters look like good actors- the seven foxy ladies. Their mission- to act like they are trying to bust up a drug ring. They fail at the acting part though. The ladies who aren't white are all bad stereotypes, and their acting makes baywatch look like the a Meryl Streep movie. The only thing resembling a saving grace are that they are hot. Thats it. Other than that, every other actor makes me want to watch the Shakespearean techniques of Manos. Jack Palance is terrible, in perhaps one of the few movies he has been in (must hve been early in his career), the rejects from sitcoms make up the cameos, and what the hell was Peter Lawford doing in this?

Wait nevermind. I just realized he was drunk and stoned most of the movie. That explains it.

Well, the story has the ladies doing various things while "acting" to destroy the drug ring, including robbing a very shameful Jim Backus, slicing up a drug dealers genitals in a "humorous" scene, seducing two fishermen finding drugs (in a scene akin to watching whales mate), and making the viewer vomit through every other scene.

Skip this movie at all costs, unless, of course, you see it on MST3K. It will drain all hope and beauty from your world, as well as all the vomit from your stomach.

Even MST3K couldn't save this

[Czechmated · 1/10 · 16 April 2005]

I've been watching a lot of MST3K lately, mainly because my girlfriend and I enjoy them and have thirty of them on DVD. We had been on a roll, blindly picking out some of the funniest MSTs ever (Overdrawn at the Memory Bank, Time Chasers, et al). Then along came Angels Revenge. (That's how the filmmakers title it -- it should be Angels' Revenge.) This is the epitome of bad film-making. The plot comes straight from what must have been a hormone-crazed, cocaine-snorting man with money. There are more holes in this movie than a particularly hole-filled piece of Swiss cheese. Seven completely unrelated women come together to overthrow a drug kingpin (Peter Lawford) and the most ridiculous plot points ensue. The movie opens with an hour long flashback featuring bad singing and dancing routines, "action" sequences riddled with cartoon sound effects (hearing a "boing!" and a "thwap!" during these scenes is pure camp), and it attempts to explain how these seven crime fighters came to be. It's really just a reason to show the T&A on these minorly attractive women. (I will say I laughed when Tom Servo said to the black stunt driving woman of this group, "Hey, Gene Shalit wants his hair back!") The acting is stretching the meaning of the definition of acting awfully thin, despite appearances by Alan Hale (the Skipper), Jim Baccus (Mr. Howell), and even Jack Palance as the middleman in this drug ring. The first time he approaches the teacher-cum-crime fighter character, Crow says (in Jack's voice), "I want to be teacher's pet," followed quickly by, "Hey, what's with this 'incomplete' crap?" Suffice it to say that the "acting" on display here is the reason they make acting schools. None of the leading women apparently attended.

I really like MST3K, but even Mike and the 'bots struggled through this one. Some movies are just so bad that making fun of them almost becomes difficult to watch. This is a prime example of one of those movies.

1970's at their worst.

[icehole4 · 1/10 · 12 February 2000]

As Joe Bob Briggs would say, this movie relies completely on the actresses talents rather than their talent. The whole plot is silly at best - a teacher finds herself involved in a gang of vigilantes out to bust up a drug ring. Appearances by Jack Palance, Alan Hale Jr., and Mr. Haney from Green Acres couldn't save this disaster.

Avoid this one unless you're watching the MST3K version. Dr. Forrester made a good Rollie Fingers.

Dumb... but hey, the, er, scenery's kinda nice

[paulo20 · 3/10 · 13 June 1999]

If I didn't know any better I'd say this flick was another take on Akira Kurosawa's Seven Samurai. But I realize that's almost a blasphemous thought, so forget I said. Really, really dumb with a pusher who looks like he was raised by the Bradys and inexplicable appearances by Jack Palance and Jim Bacchus; oh and a really stupid plot. Anyway, as bad as this film is, it's not nearly as awful as some of the other films blasted by MST3K (who nevertheless do a bang up job of lampooning this film; hilarious) and I must admit, I did kind of enjoy the "jiggle" aspect of this jiggle-flick.

the Skipper and Mr. Howell are probably wishing that they'd never gotten off of the island

[lee_eisenberg · 1/10 · 25 May 2005]

"Angels' Brigade" is about as angelic as a root canal. Seemingly produced for a bunch of men whose hormones outweigh their body mass, the movie follows a bunch of big-breasted women who set out to bring down a drug kingpin's empire. Since there's not really any plot, the movie is mainly noticeable because it stars two "Gilligan's Island" cast members: Alan Hale and Jim Backus (and wouldn't you know it, they don't even get to share any scenes). Although I gave the movie one star, it gets five out of four stars when shown on "MST3K", and that's only because it gives Mike, Servo and Crow an incentive to come up with some great comments. I'd say that that episode was their most "Gilligan's Island"-related, not just because "Angels' Brigade" stars the Skipper and Mr. Howell, but also because certain scenes prompt Mike and the 'bots to mention Bob Denver, Natalie Schaefer and Tina Louise (what, no Russell Johnson or Dawn Wells?).

offensive and painful

[grnhair2001 · 1/10 · 25 August 2012]

There is one good thing about this movie, and that's singer Patty Foley's voice. (She sings "Shine Your Love"--not the height of disco music, but it does show off her voice for a moment.) Otherwise, the movie is crap from top to bottom. Script and acting get the worst grades, but nothing here is good.

I worry about people who think women dressed and acting like this are sexy. It's a lowlife, slimy sexuality, like getting a lap dance from a trembling drug addict with festering open sores. Ewww-sexuality, making 1950's dirty comic books look pleasant and sophisticated in comparison. Pandering to those men (and perhaps a few women) who find this sort of thing sexy was the raison d'etre for this awful, awful movie. So if you're one of those guys, have at it. If you're anyone else, make sure the hot water heater is working for the long shower you'll want to take after watching this. The "plot" and "action" are the film are pasted on to excuse the T & A and deserve no mention.

Not even MST3K jokes can make me watch this all the way through a second time.

Only MST3K makes this watchable

[JeffG. · 1/10 · 5 July 1999]

MST3K has featured a ton of bad movies, but this is probably the most cringe-inducing movie they've done. Only "Hobgoblins" comes second. Funny as the episode is, there are moments where I have to wince at this movie even with the jokes. The horrible "acting" from the leading ladies who were obviously hired for their looks instead of their acting ability, the assemblage of washed up TV stars, the Hanna Barbera sound effects...I could go on but just thinking of this movie makes me ill.

Enjoyable drive-in romp

[Woodyanders · 8/10 · 15 April 2014]

Seven fetching young ladies form a special squad so they can wage war on dope pushers. Of course, the gals incur the wrath of ruthless local drug kingpin Burke (neatly played with slimy élan by Peter Lawford). Director Greydon Clark, who also co-wrote the derivative, yet serviceable script with Alvin L. Fast, relates the entertainingly silly story at a zippy pace, maintains an engaging breezy'n'easy lighthearted tone throughout, milks plenty of amusing goofy humor from the delightfully campy "Charlie's Angels"-type premise, and stages the explosive action set pieces with gusto to spare. Singer Susan Kiger, endearingly ditsy school teacher Jacqueline Cole, feisty stunt woman Sylvia Anderson, petite karate expert Lieu Chinh, spunky teen Liza Greer, tough cop Robin Greer, and foxy model Noela Velasco are all quite sexy, vibrant, and appealing as the titular dynamic heroines. Moreover, the lively acting from a bang-up cast of dependable veterans keeps things humming: Jack Palance as smooth hit-man Mike Farrell, Neville Brand as cranky police chief Miller, Jim Backus as bumbling right-wing fanatic Commander Lindsey March, Alan Hale Jr. as jolly manager Manny, Pat Buttram as an amiable car salesman, and Arthur Godfrey as himself. In addition, Clark movie regular Darby Hinton has a funny secondary part as wormy drug dealer Sticks. Dean Cundey's slick cinematography boasts all kinds of snazzy stylistic flourishes and provides a pleasing sunny look. Both Gerald Lee's funky-throbbing score and the bouncy soundtrack hit the get-down groovy spot. An immensely fun flick.

its bad yet I can't stop watching

[deheor · 6/10 · 28 November 2005]

I am not a so bad its good fan. I have never been big on the whole ironic viewing experience. Even with mediocre films that I enjoyed there was something I honestly liked about them. But now I am torn because other then the women I can't think of a reason to like this film and yet I did. Does that mean I am shallow, quite possibly. Does it mean I just like staring at cleavage, can't argue with that. But usually it takes a lot more then eye candy to get me to like a film but there is something about this one that gets me.

The plot is simple, street pusher (Darby Hinton) sells drugs to children and no one can stop him except of course the seven from heaven. A school teacher, a vegas lounge singer, a martial arts instructor, a model, a stunt woman, a cop and a high school student all join forces to bring down the drugdealer's boss, the kingpin Peter Lawford who along with his right hand man Jack Palance seems to have cornered the primary school drug racket. The women are all gorgeous with special mention going to Playboy playmate and H.O.T.S star Susan Kiger as the singer. If you can keep your eyes from drifting lower during her sequences you are a far better man than I am.

The film gets more bizarre as it goes along as these Magnificent Seven (or actually 14 if you consider how they are costumed) seem to bring down the bad guys with relative ease. This film was clearly aimed at young kids so no one ever poses any real threat to them. When one of the ladies are captured they only dump her in a pool tied to a tea set. Director Greydon Clark (a favorite of mine) helps keep everything moving at a fast clip and the actresses are all quite likable which makes it a big improvement over his previous film Satan's Cheerleaders.

If you are nervous about watching this film pick up the MST3K version. The movie is shortened so it is even faster paced and their humour helps it through some slow patches. But if you have only seen that version you should keep your eyes out for the original on VHS. You will be surprised at just how watchable it is.

Not even a good "jiggle" movie.

[fester-5 · 1/10 · 9 January 1999]

This was not even good as a "jiggle" movie. It failed on almost all accounts. Jim Backus gave an embarrassing performance. Jack Palance and Peter Lawford both gave good performances that were completely out of pace with the rest of this joke. Alan Hale Jr. Seemed to be looking for his "little buddy".