Magic (1978)

Anthony Hopkins: Corky, Fats

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Quotes 

• Ben Greene : Hey kid. I'm gonna ask you to do something. It's a little something anybody oughta be able to do. Now if you can do it fine, we'll forget this whole thing, but if you can't we'll think about getting you to see somebody fast. Is it a deal?

  Corky : Name it!

  Ben Greene : Make Fats shut up for five minutes.

  Corky : [awkward pause]  Five minutes? I can make him shut up for five years.

  Ben Greene : Wonderful.

  [looks at watch] 

  Corky : [puts Fats aside]  I feel like the village idiot, if you want to know the truth. Can we talk, or is it going to be strictly semaphore?

  [silence] 

  Corky : How long so far?

  Ben Greene : [readying a cigar]  It's uh... Thirty seconds.

  Corky : Gosh, that's uh... four-and-a-half minutes to go! Think I'll make it? Don't happen to have another of those, do you?

  [receives a cigar] 

  Corky : Thanks. "Take two, they're big." Remember when you said that, Ben?

  Ben Greene : A pro never forgets his good lines, kid.

  Corky : How long now?

  Ben Greene : Comin' up two minutes.

  Corky : You think we'll laugh about this someday?

  Corky : Might.

  Corky : [starting to talk nervously faster]  Make a terrific scene if you ever decide to write your autobiography. Hey, I know what you should call it! "Failing Upwards", or "How to Succeed in Show Business by Outliving Everybody".

  [silence] 

  Corky : Two minutes yet?

  Ben Greene : A minute forty-five.

  Corky : This is very cruel of you, you know that?

  Ben Greene : I don't mean it to be.

  Corky : I don't know if I'll ever be able to forgive you.

  Ben Greene : Well that would be sad.

  Corky : Time?

  Ben Greene : It's two-and-a-half minutes to go.

  Corky : [pause]  I can't make it.

  Ben Greene : Well, I didn't think you could.

  Fats : [snatched by Corky, and talking rapidly]  Hello everybody! This is Mister Norman Maine! My mother thanks you, my father thanks you, my sister thanks you, and I thank you! You have nothing to fear but fear itself, nothing to give but blood, sweat, and tears, nothing to lose but your change! Here he is boys, here he is world - heeeeeere's FATS!

• Corky : There was never me, only us.

  Fats : Schmucko... us was you.

  Corky : ...Wha...?

  Fats : It was you the whole time... I hope I don't die first, is all...

  Corky : We'll go together, chances are...

  Fats : Yeah...

• Fats : They'll put you somewhere dark and mooo-dy...

• Fats : Hey, you know what I think?

  Corky : What do you think?

  Fats : We're gonna be a staaaaaaar!

• Corky : I'd like to say that goin' to bed with you is maybe the best three things that ever happened to me. And I'd love some coffee. And I adore you. And I take it with cream and sugar. And your breasts belong in the Louvre, which is a museum in Paris that I plan on visiting with you once you get wise and decide to leave the old ear-blower.

• Corky : "Take two, they're big." Do remember when you said that to me Ben?

  Ben Greene : A pro never forgets his good lines, kid.

• Fats : Fasten your seatbelts, everybody. It's going to be a bumpy night.

• Corky : There's snapping turtles out there! And once there was a water moccasin scare.

  Fats : I don't care if the Loch ness monster's out there and he's ravenous.

• Fats : [to Corky as he returns from Peggy Ann's]  So how was the orgy? Didja score?

• Fats : Stop the Postman!

  Corky : How? How? With what?

  Fats : Me! Me! Me! Me! Meeee!

• Corky : I tried to stop him.

  Fats : Tried... tried... ya failed!

• Fats : Whoo, she goosed me!

• Peggy Ann Snow : [crying hysterically]  Were you laughing every SECOND?

  Corky : Peg, I...

  Peggy Ann Snow : Was I FUNNY, you bastard son-of-a-bitch?

• Corky : [answering the phone]  Hello?

  Ben Greene : I've been having meetings for hours. I couldn't budge 'em, Cork.

  Corky : I thought you said they wanted me?

  Ben Greene : Well they do, Cork, but...

  Corky : [raising voice]  Didn't you explain about the principle?

  Ben Greene : Now kid, this is network policy, it's legal policy. Now I'm sitting here with three of our genius lawyers. Their IQ's alone must total up to 100. Now we have called NBC a dozen times, and they are not, I repeat not, about to spend a half a million bucks only to find out on taping day that there's some kind of health problem.

  Corky : [yelling]  There's no problem!

  Ben Greene : Corky...

  Corky : Make 'em understand!

  [hangs up] 

• Corky : Peggy Ann Snow, Peggy Ann Snow, please let me follow wherever you go.

• Fats : Hey, Corky? I'm feeling light-headed.

• Corky : [Ben Greene has asked Corky to go five minutes without using Fats to talk to prove his sanity. He has gone 2 minutes]  I can't make it...

• Corky : What would you say if I... called the police?

  Fats : You ain't bein' logical.

• Corky : I don't think I want to take the medical exam.

• Fats : Listen, I took a failure with the charm of Tricky Dicky Nixon. I made us skyrocket.

• Fats : [from trailer]  Abra Cadabra! I sit on his knee. Presto Chango! And now he is me! Hocus Pocus! We take her to bed! Magic is great! We're dead!

• Corky : i dont think i want to take the medical exam because there saying there something wrong with me i say im fine im fine i dont need any doctors poking around inside me thats all.

• Corky : he means head shrinkers.

• Corky : Some of them panicked before they got up to perform.

• Corky : How do you think I rehearse?

• Corky : 'Take two, they're big'. Do you remember when you said that to me, Ben?

  Peggy Ann Snow : A pro never forgets his good lines, kid.