The Ritz (1976)
Dave King: Abe
Quotes
-
Gaetano Proclo : You're a good man, Abe. I'm gonna have a novena said for you when I get back to Cleveland. What's your last name? Abe what?
Abe Lefkowitz : Lefkowitz.
Gaetano Proclo : I'll still have a novena said for you when I get back.
[Gaetano leaves]
Chris : You know, I had a novena said for me once. I asked to wake up gorgeous.
Abe Lefkowitz : So, what happened?
Chris : Well, look at me!
-
Abe Lefkowitz : [announcing Chris's arrival] 340 coming up. That is 3-4-0. She's here, boys!
-
Abe Lefkowitz : I thought you'd sworn off this place.
Claude Perkins : I thought I had, too.
Abe Lefkowitz : You got homesick for us, right?
Claude Perkins : Well, I didn't have much choice. I've been barred from the Athenaeum.
Abe Lefkowitz : Come on! No one gets barred from the Athenaeum.
Claude Perkins : Well, there was this man there...
Abe Lefkowitz : A fat man, right?
Claude Perkins : Fat? He was the Magic Mountain! He threw me into one of my frenzies. I went beserk and kicked his door open, so they threw me out and told me never to come back again. I was willing to pay for it. I just wanted to talk to him. You know how I am.
-
Small Patron : I'd prefer something on three.
Abe Lefkowitz : [mumbling] Yeah, yeah...
Small Patron : [to Gaetano] Did they ever put you on four? It's Siberia up there.
-
Gaetano Proclo : You got a nightclub in there?
Abe Lefkowitz : We got a nightclub, movies, swimming pool, steam room, massage table, discothèque, bridge, amateur night - and free blood tests every Wednesday.
-
Chris : How is that gorgeous son of yours?
Abe Lefkowitz : You're too late, he's getting married.
Chris : Oh, hey, that's terrific! You give him my love, will you?
Abe Lefkowitz : Sure thing.
Chris : Does he need someone to practice with?
Abe Lefkowitz : He's been practicing already. That's why he has to get married.
Chris : Well, compared to me, Abe, she would have to be an amateur.
-
Abe Lefkowitz : [Chris signs in under a false name] Ronald Reagan? Oh, come on, Chris.
Chris : Oh, you know he used to be lovers with John Wayne.
Abe Lefkowitz : Sure he did.
Chris : Right after he broke up with Xavier Cugat.
Abe Lefkowitz : People like you think the whole world is queer.
Chris : Well, it's lucky for people like you it is.
-
Chris : A gay garbage man?
Abe Lefkowitz : You never can tell.
Chris : That's *so* true! I mean, look at me. If you just saw me walking down the street, you'd think I was a queen.
-
Michael Brick : I'd like one, sir. How much is that?
Abe Lefkowitz : How long?
Michael Brick : Is what?
-
Abe Lefkowitz : You ever been in a place like this?
Gaetano Proclo : Oh, sure! We got a Jack LaLanne's in Cleveland.
-
Abe Lefkowitz : [over the P.A] Tonight's double feature in our mini cinema is "All About Eve" and "A Star Is Born."