Murder by Death (1976)

Maggie Smith: Dora Charleston

Photos 

Quotes 

• Dora Charleston : Thank you. You are?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Bensonmum.

  Dora Charleston : Thank you, Benson.

  Jamesir Bensonmum : No, no, no, no, no... Bensonmum. My name is Bensonmum.

  Dick Charleston : Bensonmum?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Yes, sir. Jamesir Bensonmum.

  Dick Charleston : Jamesir?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Yes, sir.

  Dick Charleston : Jamesir Bensonmum?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Yes, sir.

  Dick Charleston : How odd.

  Jamesir Bensonmum : My father's name, sir.

  Dick Charleston : What was your father's name?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Howard. Howard Bensonmum.

  Dick Charleston : Your father was Howard Bensonmum?

  Dora Charleston : Leave it be, Dickie. I've had enough.

• Lionel Twain : I'm the greatest, I'm number one!

  Sam Diamond : To me, you look like number two, know what I mean?

  Dora Charleston : What DOES he mean, Miss Skeffington?

  Tess Skeffington : I'll tell you later. It's disgusting.

• Dick Charleston : Up there, Dora, look - a blind butler.

  Dora Charleston : Don't let him park the car, Dickie.

• Dora Charleston : Is he dead?

  Sam Diamond : With a thing like that in his back, in the long run, he's better off.

• Sam Diamond : You say you know who's going to get it?

  Lionel Twain : Intimately.

  Inspector Milo Perrier : And you know how the crime is to be committed?

  Lionel Twain : Definitely.

  Sidney Wang : And exactly what time murder to take place?

  Lionel Twain : *The* murder. Precisely.

  Dora Charleston : Well, I know it's none of my business, but doesn't that mean that you're the murderer, Mr. Twain?

• Dora Charleston : Where's my Dickie?

  [everyone stares at her] 

  Dora Charleston : Sorry. Where's my husband?

• Dora Charleston : I don't understand. Why would anybody want to steal a dead, naked body?

  Dick Charleston : Well, dear, there are people who, um...

  [whispers rest into her ear] 

  Dora Charleston : Oh, that's tacky! That's REALLY tacky!

• Dick Charleston : Now let's see what we have here. We have one missing, dead, naked butler, one host with a butcher's knife in his back, and one poisonous scorpion crawling up our sheets.

  Dora Charleston : Is that what that is?

  Dick Charleston : Yes. They can kill instantly. I suggest we don't move.

  Dora Charleston : For how long?

  Dick Charleston : Quite possibly for the rest of our lives.

• Jessica Marbles : I'm not one to use hyperbole, ladies and gentlemen but I'll tell you this, for the first time in my life I had the caca scared out of me!

  Dora Charleston : Dickie, I like her. I really like her!

• Dora Charleston : I want you to know, Dickie, that if you're the murderer, I'll still love you. I don't think it would be right for us to make love, but I'd still love you.

• Dick Charleston : [Cutting-room floor-scene of the Charlestons driving through heavy fog to Twain Manor]  ... You know something, darling? I smell crime in the air.

  Dora Charleston : I'm not surprised. You just ran over a small animal.

  Dick Charleston : Did I? Oh, sorry about that... LOOK OUT!

  [he slams on the brakes to avoid hitting Tess] 

  Dick Charleston : ... Hello out there! Are you hurt?

  Tess Skeffington : [exhausted from walking]  ... Oh, I'm fine - I just hiked five miles back this way from the gas station. Thank Heavens you saw me when you did.

  Dick Charleston : Oh yes, I wouldn't want blood on my hands twice in one night. Well, keep to the side of the road.

  [he drives off, leaving Tess standing there!] 

• [Hearing a knock at the door] 

  Dora Charleston : Oh, that's probably the cook. Come in!

  Dick Charleston : Darling, the poor woman is stone deaf.

  Dora Charleston : I'm sorry, I forgot. COME IN!

• Dick Charleston : [inspecting their room]  This dust is baking flour. And those cobwebs. Candied sugar. All placed here recently for the sole purpose of frightening us. And that mouse. Obviously a mechanical toy.

  [picks up mouse and laughs] 

  Dick Charleston : Silly.

  Dora Charleston : What is?

  Dick Charleston : I am. It's real.

• Dora Charleston : [after Wang demonstrates his wine was poisoned]  Great Scott Mr. Wang, you've saved our lives.

  Milo Perrier : Not quite, Mrs. Charleston. Bon Apetit

  [drinks wine - company gasps and exclaims] 

  Milo Perrier : . Since Monsieur Wang was the only one who could detect such a poison, he was the only one who was tested. Point 5: Mr. Twain is both beguiling and fiendish.

  [crys out] 

  Milo Perrier : Mon Amis!

  Dora Charleston : Oh get a doctor quick!

  Milo Perrier : No, no, it's alright, my wine is not poisoned. It was just a bad year.

• Dora Charleston : What a godforsaken spot to get lost!

  Dick Charleston : I'm sure I saw a much better spot a few miles back.

• Dick Charleston : [hanging up telephone]  Sounded as though somebody snipped the wire.

  Dora Charleston : Really? What did it sound like?

  Dick Charleston : Snip.

• Sidney Wang : Quiet, please. Observe strange sounds.

  [the room is filled with hideous death-groans] 

  Dora Charleston : Good God! The face! It's coming from the face!

  [Sure enough, that agonized moaning issues from the African death-mask on the wall] 

  Dick Charleston : The victim of that tribal ritual, actually going through his final moments of death! What could it mean?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : It means dinner is ready, sir. We have no gong.

• [stumbling around during a blackout] 

  Dora Charleston : Dickie, don't. You know how I get when you touch me there.

  Dick Charleston : Me, darling? I've got my hands in my pockets.

  Sam Diamond : I'm afraid they're my pockets.

  Dick Charleston : Oh, sorry about that.

  Dora Charleston : Dickie, behave yourself.

• Dick Charleston : [introducing them]  My wife Dora. Inspector Perrier.

  Milo Perrier : Très charmant.

  [kisses her hand, then coughs] 

  Dora Charleston : I'm sorry. Our room is so dusty.

  Milo Perrier : My fault. I should have blown first.

• Sidney Wang : [reading note from mute cook]  I think butler is dead! My name is Yetta, I don't work Thursdays.

  Dora Charleston : Ask her if she sleeps in, Dickie!

• Dora Charleston : I hope he knows how to stop that thing.

• Jamesir Bensonmum : Ah, here we are. The late Mrs. Twain's room. She died in here.

  Dora Charleston : Oh, dear.

  Dick Charleston : Died of what?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : She murdered herself in her sleep, sir.

  Dick Charleston : You mean suicide?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Oh, no. It was murder all right. Mrs. Twain hated herself.

• Dora Charleston : Mr. Diamond, there's a bullet hole in your jacket.

  Sam Diamond : You should see the other guy.

• Dora Charleston : You didn't tell me how I look, Dickie.

  Dick Charleston : No different than always look, darling. Absolutely, ravishing.

  Dora Charleston : Do you love me and adore me?

  Dick Charleston : I love you and adore you. You till have the best tush in high society.

  [Pats Dora's behind] 

  Dora Charleston : Years of horseback riding, darling.

  Sidney Wang : [Wang enters]  Getting to bottom of things, Charleston?

• Dora Charleston : I will not stay in this horribly filthy overnight.

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Flithy? Very well, Madam. I'll attend to it during dinner.

  Dick Charleston : Thank you, Benson, sir.

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Mum!

  Dick Charleston : What?

  Jamesir Bensonmum : Bensonmum. Ma'am.

• Dora Charleston : Well, what'll we all do now? Just sit around and wait for one of us to be butchered?

• Dora Charleston : Is that the cook's arm?

  Sam Diamond : It ain't the pussycat's tail, lady.