The Missouri Breaks (1976)

Jack Nicholson: Tom Logan

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Quotes 

• Tom Logan : [to Clayton, whispering]  You know what woke you up? You just had your throat cut.

• Jane Braxton : I forgot, you do have your whores, don't you?

  Tom Logan : Sure do. Like 'em, too.

  Jane Braxton : Well, I'll tell you something. If you want them more than you want me...

  Tom Logan : I keep telling you, I want them a lot. I don't want you at all.

  Jane Braxton : Well, why are you being so mean to me?

  Tom Logan : People have been neglecting to tell you what a nasty little bitch you are, and I'm just having to make up for their negligence. I just seem mean. I'm only being thorough.

  [Jane starts to cry] 

  Tom Logan : Well, if you're gonna start that, I'm just gonna go home and shovel steer manure on the pansies.

• Tom Logan : I couldn't get no credit at the whorehouse, so I picked up this chubby little girl off some sodbuster's outfit.

  Tittle Tod : How was she?

  Tom Logan : About like a Swiss clock - same exact movement over and over again.

• Tom Logan : I understand you had to hang someone here.

  David Braxton : I did that.

  Tom Logan : Ah, that's tough. What was this, some kind of desperado?

  David Braxton : No, he was a thief... with probably a million good reasons for being on hard times. The main thing is that we put him out of his misery.

• Tom Logan : Regulator? Ain't that like a dry gulcher?

  Lee Clayton : Well, that's not the softest term you could use, I'd say.

  Tom Logan : Well, Regulator, correct me now if I'm wrong, isn't a regulator one of these boys that shoots people and don't never get near 'em?

  Lee Clayton : That's it.

• Calvin : How'd you know it was a detective?

  Tom Logan : Rancher's wife wantin' to go to bed with him. He kept givin' her a "no".

  Calvin : Damned if I can understand that.

  Tom Logan : Well, I took care of her, Cal.

  Calvin : You did that, huh?

  Tom Logan : You're damn sure. Had a good time too, thank you.

• Tom Logan : This old boy in Wyoming, he sat down on the ground just to pull sandburs out of his trousers, and his skull just suddenly flew into pieces about the size of your thumbnail. That was the first time I ever heard the term "regulator".

• Tom Logan : This here tea's gonna get black as ink.

  Jane Braxton : We'll write somebody a letter with it.

  Tom Logan : Let's write your father a letter. Tell him that you're the prisoner of the chinee tea slavers.

• Tom Logan : The first time I met Sandy, he was rustling on his own. He had a stolen cavalry pony and he kept this dog. As soon as he would kill a steer, why he'd cut the brand off and feed it to the dog. So before they could get enough evidence to convict him, they'd have to lock that dog up and pick through his shit for a week before they could find the brand.

• Tom Logan : The closer you get to Canada, the more things'll eat your horse.

• Tom Logan : They got two Pinkerton in KC and I do believe one of 'em was the legendary Charlie Siringo.

  Calvin : Did he claim to be a border cowboy?

  Tom Logan : Can't remember. Said he could talk Mexican.

  Calvin : Yeah, that's him.

• Tom Logan : Get the money out. What's your name?

  Nelson : Nelson.

  Tom Logan : Nelson, you do this right, you can say you've seen Jesse James and lived to tell the story.

  Nelson : You're not Jesse James.

  Tom Logan : You ain't Charlie Siringo. Just give me the money, Nelson.

• Tom Logan : Boy, a couple of years ago they'd have put Sandy in Red Lodge penitentiary, weavin' bridles. Seems like there's somethin' new in the air.

• Jane Braxton : We're starved for news out here. All I ever hear about is grass.

  Tom Logan : What's the matter with grass?

  Jane Braxton : Samuel Johnson said "A blade of grass is a blade of grass... Tell me about a human being."

  Tom Logan : I don't understand that.

  Jane Braxton : It just means that Samuel Johnson was as bored as I am with nature.

• Tom Logan : Miss, I'm gonna take this opportunity to be just a little damn bit offended. Cause if there's anybody in this district who's got a right to think of themselves as wholesome companionship, why, it's yours truly.

  Jane Braxton : If you're such a wholesome companion, what were you doing at the whorehouse?

• Jane Braxton : What do you want?

  Tom Logan : I mean, I know what it is when I want something.

  Jane Braxton : Oh, come on!

  Tom Logan : "Oh, come on" what?

  Jane Braxton : Why don't you just say what you mean?

  Tom Logan : This is what I mean.

  Jane Braxton : Do you want me?

  Tom Logan : What does that mean?

  Jane Braxton : I mean you're' me around on your damn horse. What have you got in mind?

  Tom Logan : Me?

  Jane Braxton : Sexual intercourse?

  Tom Logan : Oh, my...

  Jane Braxton : Well, all right. All right. Come on. Get down off your horse. Now, I'm not gonna have any hesitation from you. Not from a frequenter of whores. Now get down from your horse.

• Jane Braxton : Hello, Tom. I didn't think I'd find you here.

  Tom Logan : Why'd you think that?

  Jane Braxton : Cause I haven't seen you.

  Tom Logan : You thought I was gonna - come courtin', didn't ya?

  Jane Braxton : Maybe so.

  Tom Logan : You was too harsh to me last time. I never kick a dead horse, lady.

• Tom Logan : Come in the house. I'll make you a cup of chinee tea.

  Jane Braxton : Chinese tea?

• Tom Logan : You're a lot nicer than you was before. Why is that?

  Jane Braxton : Well, you didn't come courtin' me like I figured you would, and - I'm...

  Tom Logan : You're what?

  Jane Braxton : I'm tryin' to revive your interest.

• Jane Braxton : Would you say that this is lewd conduct?

  Tom Logan : Well, I couldn't say for sure.

  Jane Braxton : My father has a library full of law books, cause he believes in the law. And he says that we haven't got any law up here yet.

  Tom Logan : What brings that to your mind?

  Jane Braxton : Because in one of those law books of his, there's a whole section on lewd conduct.

  Tom Logan : What about it?

  Jane Braxton : It's against the law. Are you an outlaw?

• Jane Braxton : Why do you have so many guns?

  Tom Logan : Because I'm a sportsman.

  Jane Braxton : Why do you have a sawed-off shotgun?

  Tom Logan : Well, because I'm a sawed-off sportsman.

• Tom Logan : I never carry a gun.

  Lee Clayton : I never wear a gun neither. Oh, once in a while I carry this little darlin' around. She's almost like a poem. You know, it's all hand-done. Etched, you know, scratched in silver. Oh, she's a beauty. Made for the president of Mexico. I diverted it for a hundred-dollar bill. But it doesn't shoot worth a damn. Some damn fool came along and filed off the top of the front sight. And you have to sort of play with it. It isn't easy.

• Tom Logan : Why was you havin' to move this cousin around so much?

  Calvin : He did card tricks.

  Tom Logan : I get it.

  Calvin : He done a trick for this nigger on the Chama. The nigger throttled him.

• Tom Logan : [to his gang]  Alright, let's go to the whorehouse!