Sharon's Baby (1975) User Reviews

Trash at its funniest.

[Hey_Sweden · 5/10 · 4 September 2014]

Sex, scandal, strippers and more mix in this unintentionally funny horror flick that's an absolute must for people who treasure bad genre movies.

This one is in the vein of "Rosemary's Baby" and "It's Alive". Joan Collins plays Lucy Carlesi, a woman who comes to fear that her newborn is possessed. And she could be right: almost every person who comes into contact with this infant meets a horrible death.

You have to hand it to British actors: they can sell just about anything, and make this train wreck more entertaining than it has a right to be. Collins does a remarkably sincere job, and is well supported by Ralph Bates, as her husband Gino, Donald Pleasence, as Dr. Finch, Caroline Munro as her sister Mandy, Eileen Atkins, as her sister-in-law Albana, Hilary Mason, as the grumpy Mrs. Hyde, John Steiner, as sleazy Tommy Morris, and George Claydon, as malevolent dwarf Hercules. Although their performances are fine, the "accents" affected by Bates and Atkins - who are playing Italians - are downright hysterical. Just get a load of the way that Atkins says the word "devil".

The best moments in this thing have to be the kill scenes, which should inspire some pretty hearty chuckles. People get shoved into a river, decapitated with a shovel, and hung before this is over. There are some fleeting breast shots for voyeurs and a fairly decent dose of gore. The movie can boast *some* style, particularly in a nightmare sequence. The score by Ron Grainer is most amusing, sounding more like porno music than anything else.

Picked up by A.I.P. for distribution in North America, "I Don't Want to Be Born" is a real hoot and a half. It might not be "good", but it's fun schlock.

Five out of 10.

trashy fun

[mukava991 · 4/10 · 28 December 2010]

This modest popcorn thriller from Britain boasts a solid performance from that fine actress and world-class beauty Joan Collins as a former stripper who marries Italian money and ends up on easy street, London style – or so she thinks. Unfortunately her firstborn turns out to be possessed by the spirit of a demonic nightclub clown whose advances she spurned shortly before her marriage. Even before the child is brought home from the hospital he has already drawn blood from an attack on his mother. The baby's diabolical screams are technically enhanced with reverb and echo effects, as are those of his victims. Toward the end there is a strong dream sequence in which Collins, under the influence of a sedative, makes her way through her house with space, time and the relationship of sounds to their source imaginatively distorted. Eileen Atkins plays, of all things, an Italian nun who also happens to be the leading lady's sister-in-law. She doesn't quite get the accent and in general seems ill-suited to the role. The English actor Ralph Bates as the Italian husband is equally out of place. Donald Pleasence does better in his supporting role as the doctor who attends to the troublesome infant as does Hilary Mason, so memorable as the blind psychic in "Don't Look Now," as the no-nonsense nanny. The actual baby looks ordinary and does nothing but smile or cry as all babies do, but through editing tricks and cleverly applied sound effects we believe he is indeed evil. Shot in vivid color and with an undertone of urban sleaziness, it's scary, sometimes silly and somewhat naughty fun.

The Omen 1 1/2

[marbleann · 5/10 · 17 June 2004]

Joan Collins works in a strip where she does some type of Arabian Nights dance with a midget. She goes to Italy and meets a Italian played by Ralph Bates named Gino who sister happens to be a nun!! They get married and have a baby. MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD!!!! The baby is suppose to be large for his age..but he looks like a normal sized baby to me. The tot actually is a real life Bamm Bamm. The baby can't even walk and you never see the tot even sitting up but somehow he manages to destroy things..including people. Joan Collins doesn't know what to do, her doctor keeps making these stupid remarks. Her best friend is well, useless. Her husband is clueless. Bamm Bamm manages to kill his nurse..she falls in a lake and hits her head. Mom and Daddy decide to put him in the hospital for observation. OH Oh they want blood test from Daddy. Joan confides to her friend that she slept with her old boyfriend Tommy right before she got married so he might be the dad. Now Tommy is a sleazy type of guy so he could have the devil in him, but no it it seems she was cursed by the midget she worked with when she rebuffed his advances. This makes no sense because according to her he was a real nice guy. Hey a lot of guys get upset when they are rebuffed not so strange. So why is she believing this midget has enough power to have a pipeline to Satan?? It would have been more feasible if Tommy had the pipeline to Satan. Well here comes the NUN. Turns out on page 210 in the book How to make a Movie..nuns have the power to perform exorcisms. It was the midget because he is still dancing but now he doing the dance of death. Every time the nun pulls out a cross the midget feels it..he eventually dies and the baby is normal. But we have another problem because now he is a orphan having dispatched his parents earlier in the film. This movie was a my type of movie..so bad it was good.

Guaranteed entertainment

[LewisJForce · 9 February 2004]

Good things about this picture:

Joan Collins at the height of her sexiness (confusingly playing a stripper who only disrobes in the dressing room, not on stage).

Caroline Munro, ditto (here 'amusingly' dubbed by Liz Fraser).

Ralph Bates as an Italian (says "Scusi" a lot).

Eileen Atkins, ditto ("He is possessed by a Day-ville").

Donald Pleasance ('Nuff said).

The appearance of Floella Benjamin as a nurse who helps deliver the possessed tyke.

Interesting music score by 'Dr.Who/Steptoe and Son' man Ron Grainer (Hawaiian guitars, synths and assorted percussion!).

John Steiner as a grinning Cocker-nee club owner who manages to bed both Joan and Caroline whilst exhibiting a mouthful of the most off-putting fangs this side of Austin Powers.

Lots of lovely shots of London landmarks with Capris and Minis whizzing round 'em.

'Shocking' flash-cuts of a scary dwarf in a crib.

Mr. Pleasance charming Eileen by demonstrating his bedside manner.

A complete lack of any 'subtext' whatsoever.

Bad thing: It only last 90 minutes.

Great title, shame about the movie!!

[Libretio · 2/10 · 19 February 2005]

I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN

(USA: The Devil Within Her)

Aspect ratio: 1.85:1

Sound format: Mono

A nightclub stripper (Joan Collins) is cursed by a dwarf (George Claydon) whose attentions she spurned, and she later gives birth to a murderous baby possessed by a demonic spirit.

Clearly inspired by the contemporary vogue for satanic shockers, this slapdash concoction - memorably dismissed by UK journalist Nigel Burrell as a 'crapulous farrago'! - was thrown together by Hungarian director Peter Sasdy, previously responsible for such superior offerings as "Taste the Blood of Dracula" (1969), "Countess Dracula" (1970) and "Hands of the Ripper" (1971). Here, his contempt for the material is obvious in the weak storyline, feeble horror scenes and lackluster staging, and his concessions to the exploitation marketplace (strippers at work, a gory decapitation, etc.) are shoehorned into proceedings with reckless abandon.

Quite apart from its ridiculous premise (unlike the mutant creature in Larry Cohen's similarly-styled IT'S ALIVE, sweet little babies simply aren't frightening, no matter how much filmmakers try to make them seem otherwise!), the movie is further stymied by indifferent performances and half-baked characterizations: Collins runs the gamut from A to B and back again, Donald Pleasence provides little more than marquee value as Collins' doctor, and Ralph Bates (playing the heroine's husband) is a blank slate throughout. Hilary Mason - the blind lady in DON'T LOOK NOW (1973) - plays the wary housekeeper, and Eileen Atkins is Bates' sister, a nun who performs the commercially-dictated climactic exorcism. Support is offered by Caroline Munro as a fellow stripper (though she looks far too glamorous to be playing such a lowbrow Cockney strumpet!) and Euro-favorite John Steiner as one of Collins' former boyfriends. There's enough campery to entertain die-hard fans, but the sloppy production values and leaden pace will certainly limit the film's appeal to anyone else.

Oh, and watch out for abbreviated prints: If you don't see the head come off in the aforementioned decapitation sequence, you're viewing a censored version...

Even worse than Empire of the Ants

[planktonrules · 1/10 · 5 June 2005]

It's funny how Joan Collins has obtained a certain amount of respectability after having starred in MANY terrible films, such as The Bitch, Empire of the Ants and I Don't Want to Be Born. Oh well, the public is fickle.

So why did I hate this movie and yet took the trouble to review it?! Well, it's because it falls into the "it's so bad that it's funny" category. So, despite giving it a one, I strongly recommend you watch this crappy flick--then Plan 9 From Outer Space, The Apple, Roller Boogie and Jet Pilot. All are so bad and so amateurishly done that they can't help but illicit belly laughs! The plot all boils down to a tiny little baby who is possessed by an evil dwarf. So, as a result of a little black magic, the tot obtains magical powers to murder!! And, boy can he murder! The kid can run, fly and do almost anything EXCEPT kill the idiot who wrote this pile of drivel--this SHOULD have been the kid's FIRST victim!!

Total garbage ... but such potential

[rdoyle29 · 3/10 · 25 April 2016]

Joan Collins and Ralph Bates (playing Italian ... with a thick accent) have a monstrously big baby that misbehaves violently ... biting Collins in the face when they are still in the hospital, throwing stuff around his nursery, etc. Collins, a former stripper, tells her stripper friend Caroline Munro (who sadly does not strip in this film), how a midget whose sexual advances she spurned cursed her to have a monster baby. The devil may also be involved somehow ... I don't know. With this crazy plot, a cast that also includes Donald Pleasence as Collins' doctor and John Steiner as a strip club owner, and a director who made a couple of smashing Hammer films, I really wanted to like this film. For a while I did, as I let the sleazy craziness wash over me and studiously ignored the shoddy awfulness of the whole thing. Sadly, I could not continue turning a blind eye to just how bloody awful this is. When the baby apparently jumps into a tree, ties a rope into a noose and hangs Bates to death ... no, just ... no. Hilary Mason, the blind sister from "Don't Look Now" is also present ... so much potential wasted.

Ill-Conceived (in more ways than one)

[son_of_cheese_messiah · 1/10 · 14 March 2010]

Unbelievable tosh concerning an over-sized baby being possessed by a malicious dwarf. Yes, that really is the plot. I'd love to see this remade by the League of Gentlemen but I doubt they could make it funnier or more bizarre. This infant pushes people to their deaths, lynches his 'father' (played by Ralph Bates with a strange Italian/Scottish hybrid accent) decapitates Donald Pleasance with a shovel and has enough strength to drag his victims out of sight. Laughable dialogue and some strange accents, including one English actress being dubbed by another one, plus some comical 'special' effects make this entertaining for all the wrong reasons. Oddest of all is how so many top notch actors got involved with this drivel which could hardly have looked good even in script form. The scene where Joan Collins is touched up by a dwarf has got to be one of the most ludicrous scenes ever committed to celluloid. Hard to rate but 0/10 as horror and probably 6/10 for entertainment. As it happens I saw this just after Death Wish 3, so obviously there was a 'so bad its good' theme that evening.

Dull, stupid "Rosemary's Baby" ripoff

[preppy-3 · 1/10 · 7 December 2003]

Joan Collins plays a stripper named Lucy. At the club, a dwarf worker tries to sexually molest her. She spurns him and he curses her to have a baby possessed by the Devil. A few years later she's out of the business, happily married to Gino (Ralph Bates!) and pregnant. The baby is born (after an extremely harsh delivery) and immediately starts acting violently. It scratches, spits, bites and starts killing people! What to do? It's a good thing Gino's sister is a nun, Sister Albana (Eileen Atkins), and has a few ideas.

This is reasonably well-directed, looks great, has some good acting...but that's it. Collins is just fantastic in her role; Donald Pleasance equally good as the baby's doctor and Atkins (wisely) doesn't take her role too seriously. But who thought having Ralph Bates playing an Italian was a good idea? He looks miserable and his "accent" is hilarious. Atkins (who is also British) does a better job of it--but every time she says "devil" it sounds like "davel" and is (unintentionally?) hysterical. And Caroline Munro is on hand in a nothing part--but she looks just great.

The script is dull dull dull. There's not enough material here for 90 minutes. It's filled with people endlessly repeating the same lines (I heard "the baby is so big" so many times I was ready to scream!) and has tons of filler with people walking around. I got so bored after an hour I basically started to fast forward through this.

The baby's attacks aren't really shown (until the end)--we always see the aftermath and we NEVER see the baby doing it. Also, the film is relatively bloodless until the last 15 minutes which throws in a couple of nice gory murders--but it's too little too late.

All that's left about this movie is some very good acting and a VERY cute-looking baby. That aside--forget it.

Rent "Rosemary's Baby" instead--you'll be much better off.

Ron Grainer does porn

[The_Secretive_Bus · 7/10 · 7 March 2005]

Well stone me, what a farce. I actually enjoyed this film.

It certainly is, as somebody a long time ago said, a game of three halves. The first half hour or so is laughably bad, and had me chuckling throughout. Then the tone shifts slightly and you find yourself actually getting vaguely interested into what on Earth's going on and where it could all possibly be leading. And then the last thirty minutes are genuinely disturbing, with some rather scary bits in there and a few set pieces that you won't have seen coming. All in all, rather absorbing.

The plot itself sounds like something cobbled together from "The Exorcist" and "The Omen" (despite the latter film being released the year after, but stay with me). Joan Collins (?!) plays a woman (good show) who's given birth to an "evil" child, who spends the film apparently viciously assaulting people whilst those of the religious faith find it all terribly intriguing. The scenes of the aforementioned child attacking people are usually quite laughable, usually comprising of somebody leaning close to it, recoiling in horror clutching their cheek and moaning "It bit me!", followed by a shot of a not particularly frightening little child looking frankly bewildered at the fact that he's in a film. Ah ha, but the baby has "Surprising strength for his age," we are told, so that's all right then.

The rationale for all this, given to us as a flashback about 10-15 minutes in, is one of the funniest bits of the film. Joan's character used to be a stripper, and performed her acts with a small dancing midget who apparently fancied her like mad. On her last day of work, the midget toddles along to her dressing room and tries to feel her up, whereupon she screams and a spiv wanders in and tells the midget to get lost. The midget toddles away again and Joan and the spiv (her old boyfriend, and manager of the strip club) begin to make out, Joan switching from "horror-struck and upset" to "giggly and horny" in the space of three seconds. The whole scene looks like it was shot in one take, and is played so languidly to defy belief. Later that evening, as Joan leaves the club, the midget leaps out at her from the shadows and rather improbably cries "You shall have a devil child!!!" before scampering off again.

Quite why Joan (recounting the story to a bored-witless Caroline Munro) should assume that this is the only explanation for why her child has anger-management problems I have no idea. And quite why she turns out to be right is even more startling. Soon she starts seeing the baby transform into the very same gurning midget in the blink of an eye, and most of the deaths are accompanied by such supremely seminal camera work depicting the hands of the midget (hmm, now there's a title for a Hammer... "Hands of the Midget") groping around and punching people.

And this is just the basic premise of the story, all given within the first twenty minutes. From then on it's a whirlwind of the good and the bad. For the former we have Donald Pleasence giving a superbly understated performance as the doctor whom everybody seems to be seeking advice from (he actually seems like a doctor, somebody the makers had hired out from a surgery to appear in the film rather than just an actor, and it works wonderfully). The spiv, though a complete bounder, has a few amusing lines - "Said you'd come to me so I could cheer you up. I've got another six Irish jokes since we last met." Joan Collins, despite being a bit wooden at the beginning, actually gets better as the film progresses. And I was positively delighted by a cameo from Stanley Lebor, better known as lovable Howard in "Ever Decreasing Circles" (and, hurrah, a sitcom actor who actually survives the film - that's a rarity in the 70s). And then there's Pleasence with "I thought today was going to be normal routine, I didn't think I'd be discussing mysticism with an Italian nun." And then there's the laughably bad bits, including the rather shaky ground surrounding the "Midgets are evil" thing, the most unconvincing birth scene ever, in which Joan looks more as though she's being orally pleasured than having a child, and the gratuitous stripper scenes peppered about every so often which don't serve to do anything much at all ("Am I boring you?") In fact, various scenes of steamy romance and general sauciness seem to be chucked in just to give the film a higher rating - that's the only reason I can think of for a rather touching courting scene between Joan and blank-faced husband Ralph Bates (nice accent, Ralph) being followed up by the two of them having sweaty, fumbling sex whilst the melodious seedy music that we've been subjected to throughout the entire duration reaches a new low. And eyebrows will raise when you glance at the credits and see that this entire musical travesty (it really just sounds like porn music, I'm sorry) was composed by Ron Grainer, the man who composed the "Doctor Who" theme tune. Go Ron. You do your funky thang.

But yes, to sum it all up, "The Monster" (where "I Don't Want to be Born" comes from I have no idea, as it's not the title on the print) is at times a rather lopsided affair which manages to actually remain consistently entertaining throughout, whether by accident or by design. It's probably all a matter of taste, and maybe I just ended up liking it as it was nowhere near as bad as I thought it'd be, but it's a rather fun feature that does end on a few shocks. 7/10

Should Have Been Aborted At Script Stage

[Theo Robertson · 2/10 · 28 October 2004]

I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN stars Joan Collins so right away you've got a problem since Joan Collins is unable to play any character that isn't Joan Collins . A lamb to the slaughter ? Mutton dressed as lamb more like as the whole film seems to have been produced so that Joanie can appear in a scene dressed in her underwear . Actually she was 42 when this was produced and she's amazingly attractive for her age , unfortunately that's not a good enough reason for making this movie .

Caroline Munroe also appears in a supporting role but that's still not a good enough reason to make this movie . If the producer wanted to meet some fit woman perhaps he should have gone to the local disco ? You think I'm kidding about the producer's motivation ? I'm not because this is one of the most totally inept British movies from the 1970s . The script is abysmal with a vigilante nun and sundry other characters screaming " He's tha DEV-ILL " at every opportunity , some really crap acting with Ralph Bates playing an Italian with a Yiddish accent , and some dire directing with a dwarf lying in a pram . The worst aspect has got to be the editing especially the scene where a character hits their head on some rocks . Or at least I think that's what happened since the editing leaves us none the wiser .

Oh and I wish to correct what some people have claimed in their suggestions that this rips off THE OMEN or ROSEMARY'S BABY - It doesn't , it's more like a precursor to BASKET CASE . And it stars Joan Collins

remains a hallucinatory, hysteria-laden Brit-Horror masterclass in diminutive demonic despotism!

[Weirdling_Wolf · 9/10 · 27 August 2021]

Beloved Hammer alumnus, Peter Sasdy's perverse, post-natal nightmare 'The Monster' features one of the more dastardly diminutive, diaper-draped devils in Brit-Horror's heroically hideous history! The ungodly nature of this Satanic Sprite is to instil a grisly phantasmal fright in all who cast their incredulous eyes upon the benign exterior of this monstrously malevolent mite. While the malign ministrations of this infernal, mammary mauling infant are purest unleavened schlock, his outré matricidal machinations remain a deliciously off-key premise! No poorly remembered horror film based upon the curse of a voyeuristic, sexually frustrated dwarf can ever truly be without a modicum of Mephistophelean mirth.

Boasting a fine cast, Ralph Bates and glamorous terror-temptress, Joan Collins are ably supported by Donald Pleasence, Eileen Atkins, and the voluptuous vamp Caroline Munro. Atkins is divine as the sternly sin-slashing Sister Albana, and there's nun more suited to exorcise the mother goring imp! Engagingly silly, but while dramatically small in stature, Sasdy's 'The Monster' is delightfully deformed! A murderous umbilicus of preternatural horror draws ever-tighter around the onlookers fear-constricted throat, and the final trimester of teat-tormenting terror will have you grasping for your terminal breast! A great many of the film's detractors regard it as stillborn, while I'm nappily screaming its schlocky praises, baby! Amen!

'Fatally Natal nightmare 'The Monster' aka 'I don't Want to Be Born' remains a hallucinatory, hysteria-laden Brit-Horror masterclass in diminutive demonic despotism!

Wonderfully bad.

[BA_Harrison · 7/10 · 16 October 2018]

If you've ever wanted to see Joan Collins have her breasts fondled by a randy dwarf, then I Don't Want To Be Born is the film for you. When Hercules (George Claydon), the diminutive fellow in question, is spurned by showgirl Lucy (Collins), he curses the brunette beauty for leading him on, telling her that she will give birth to a monster. Sure enough, nine months after her marriage to Italian businessman Gino Carlesi (Ralph Bates), Lucy becomes the frightened mother of a 12lb terror called Nicholas, who proceeds to menace those around him.

Let's be honest, if the man delivering your baby is creepy horror legend Donald Pleasance, something sinister is bound to happen, and it sure does for Mr & Mrs Carlesi: their new arrival wrecks his nursery, bumps off his nurse, and then sets his wicked sights on parents and doctor. And, yes, this British cross between The Exorcist and It's Alive is as hilariously bad as it sounds, director Peter Sasdy bringing us one uproariously daft moment after another, making it a delight for fans of bad movies.

Here's a quick rundown of some of the treats in store for viewers of this trash:

Play School's Floella Benjamin as a nurse in the hilarious opening scene in which it looks like Collins is having an orgasm, not a baby.

Bates' terrible Italian accent, which incredibly, is still better than that of Eileen Atkins, who plays his sister, Sister Albana ("Lucy believes that baby is possessed by the day-vil").

Some lousy parallel parking by Gino and strip club manager Tommy (John Steiner).

The attempted drowning of the nurse in the bath and her eventual demise in a lake.

The wide eyed gurgling baby transforming into the evil dwarf before Lucy's very eyes (poor George Claydon wearing a yellow baby-grow and grinning maniacally).

Grumpy housekeeper Mrs. Hyde (Hilary Mason) finding a dead mouse in her cup of tea.

The baby snickering like cartoon dog Muttley before dropping a noose around Gino's neck (hey, the kid can tie knots as well-not bad for a newborn).

Tommy getting a bunch of fives in the face from the baby.

Nicky lopping off Donald Pleasance's head with a spade.

And as if that wasn't enough to keep you entertained, we also get a considerable amount of T&A to help pass the time, with brief flashes of boobs and butt from Joan (who also sports sexy underwear), Hammer babe Caroline Munro in a basque, stockings and suspenders, and full frontal from a stripper auditioning for sleazebag Tommy.

7/10. It's really bad, but it sure is fun.

Abortion would have been a much better option

[Coventry · 3/10 · 1 November 2004]

I really hate saying this about 70's Brit horror but…this is a very, very BAD film! Everything that could possibly go wrong actually features here in this lame horror vehicle. A really bad basic idea, for starters, handling about Joan Collins giving birth to an (unusually big) baby possessed by evil and controlled by a dwarf Collins once spurned. This film 'borrows' style and script elements from Rosemary's Baby, The Exorcist, Don't Look Now, It's Alive and even tiny details from Hammer and Amicus successes. The screenplay is extremely poorly written and Peter Sasdy's directing is the worst of all disasters. What happened to this guy? He was responsible for an endless amount of great TV-movies and a few downright classic Hammer titles (like 'Countess Dracula' and 'Hands of the Ripper') but, ever since Doomwatch, he just seems to make crap. This production is very banal, not the least bit scary or atmospheric and the bloodshed is kept to a minimum. It looks like this film is blessed with a terrific all-star cast, but everybody is performing far below their normal acting skills. Donald Pleasance looks dead long before his character is actually slaughtered and Ralph Bates' character is far too fake. Eileen Atkins triumphs as the worst cast-member though. She stars as an Italian nun (?) and speaks with the most atrocious accent I ever heard. The only one that gets a little sympathy is the beautiful Caroline Munro as the sexy cabaret dancer. I don't Want to be Born is a giant disappointment in every respect and better left unmentioned. Avoid!

I don't want to see this again!

[joe_powell · 29 October 2004]

Well now, this really is a sad effort falling between the enviable status of an honest-to-god bad movie watchable for laughs and a passable horror flick. Joan Collins is an ex-stripper who is cursed by a horny dwalf (little people are in league with the devil presumably) and goes on to have a baby with her Italian husband. Now there are rare treats to be had in this film to give it its due. First of them is seeing Joan Collins performing an erotic dance at her strip club. I've never actually been to such a club and its fairly obvious to the viewer that Joan hasn't either. Her dance is so entirely unerotic and daft as to serve as a warning that what is to follow will be of the lowest possible quality. Of course no strip club is complete without a sweaty dwalf dressed as a jester or in a top hat. The dwalf in question rants about her having a baby by the devil and lo and behold she does have a freaky child. The only problem is that the baby shown is entirely normal looking. All devilish action happening off screen and then cutting back to the decidedly unmenacing kid. Rosemarys baby and The Omen both showed that kids can be quite scary. This film though decides not to give the child ungodly mental powers, or spiritual domination as its forte instead relying on it having immense physical strength. That's right, this little tyke will push you into lakes, scratch your face etc. All of this is incredibly silly to start with but cutting from Collins leaning into the crib to her with a scratch on her face doesn't exactly create fear. The means by which the baby inflicts its reign of chubby terror on the cast is daft, nonsensical and entirely unscary. Except perhaps for the workman who gets a mouse put in his cup of tea because that was about the only act of terror that the child could conceivably achieve on its own. Especially silly is the suggestion that it keeps clawing people, since its tiny fingers are shown several times and its quite clear it has normal little fingers with no claws just tiny baby fingernails. There are more treats though, especially for anyone who lives in London where it is set. The curiosity value of seeing police on the streets, working telephone boxes, parking spaces and other symbols of the past might just be enough to keep you watching. I was also fascinated by Joans non-acting friend who seems unable to utter a single line without gesturing wildly and adding "darling" to it. In the finale an exorcism is performed by the husbands sister who happens to be a penguin (nun) however she seems to have forgotten several ingredients. A book, bell, candle, feasible latin and a priest would surely have helped. Luckily this doesn't seem to be a problem, even Satan seems keen to be out of the film, and all ends well. Unfortunately you may be thinking that this is a watchable if naff horror film but I've neglected to mention the bits that will put any sane viewer off. A good portion of the film has the same loud sound effect of a baby screaming and crying through it, rendering it extremely irritating. I personally ended up with a thumping headache after forcing myself to watch it to the bitter end. Added to this every sound effect, especially telephones, make twice as much noise as they should causing you to constantly adjust the sound. To cap it all the title doesn't even make sense and has no relevance to the story presented. Unless seeing Joan Collins groped by a dwalf is high on your must-see list then this film offers nothing other than a headache and a laugh at some totally inept scripting and a nun with all the Italian authenticity of the Mario brothers.

Doctor, my baby is possessed by a jealous evil dwarf

[ofumalow · 5/10 · 14 June 2020]

The horror content here--i.e. when anything bad happens--is so hilarious that this would be an absolute trash classic if the overall pacing weren't so lethargic and the general ambiance that of lame 70s British softcore (without most of the actual softcore content). Peter Sasdy made some better films, but this one is just poorly directed, on top of being horribly written. But hoo man, that script is SO bad it's almost great.

Presumably ripping off the prior year's "It's Alive" (plus bits of "The Exorcist," with a few odd anticipations of next year's "The Omen"), the story has Joan Collins ex-showgirl giving birth to a normal-looking baby that nonetheless does completely abnormal things (but only whenever off-camera) because...um, she was cursed by an evil dwarf. And not just ANY evil dwarf, but the one that still works at the club where she used to do a ridiculous dance act with him in musical-comedy "gypsy" drag, complete with a tambourine. Yes, we're supposed to believe that went over bigtime at a strip club, where the other women duly go topless.

Anyway, said dwarf was unhappy she spurned his amorous attentions (even though he looks so fetching in his jester hat!), so he cursed her, which of course he could do because...er, all showbiz dwarfs are in league with Satan? God only knows; the script can't be bothered to explain. So the normal, angelic-looking baby she later gives birth to supposedly gets up to tearing up its room, clawing faces, pushing babysitters to their deaths, and so forth whenever no one is looking.

Needless to say, it's a preposterous movie whose unintentional-comedy joys are only heightened by one of Joan's worst performances. As her husband and nun sister-in-law, Ralph Bates and Eileen Atkins sport bizarre "foreign" accents you'd never be able to identify if we weren't repeatedly told they're supposedly "Italian." (Couldn't they have hired Italian actors? Those exist, you know.) The other performances are also no better than the material deserves, with the perhaps surprising exception of Donald Pleasance, who manages to preserve his dignity by underplaying every ridiculous scene as Collins' doctor. Anyway, it's a movie with a lot of moments you will howl at--it's just too bad that between those highlights, the rest of it is rather mediocre and tedious rather than inspired camp.

Pretty bad

[jellopuke · 2/10 · 17 September 2020]

A Rosemary's baby knock off that takes forever to get going and manages to only give you about 5 minutes of great entertainment in a 90 minute movie. Those 5 minutes are okay, but this whole thing isn't worth your time, really. It's a pale imitation of better things without any real style of its own.

Darling, adoption would have been your best bet.

[lost-in-limbo · 3/10 · 6 June 2006]

An ex-stripper who has now settled down with her husband gives birth to an uncontrollable, monster of a baby that's growing bigger and stronger everyday. This puts a lot stress on the mother and father, as strange occurrences and violent actions are caused by this baby. Making the mother believe that the baby is possessed by the devil, which a dwarf she used to work with - had cursed this evil spawn onto her.

This newborn has the strength of a thousand man, although looking at it; it probably doesn't know that. Most times it looks clueless, but that's just ploy to surprise it's victims with it's amazing abilities! Your probably bemused in what I've written so far, but that's how you're going to feel when watching this quite silly, out-of-control baby horror flick. But that's the best way to take this rib-tickling, exploitation mess. The serious temperament that's laid out doesn't do the aimless structure much favours and makes it even more unintentionally funny. As you won't be on the edge of the seat for this one, but you'll be cracking up at how poor it is, or maybe you'll be out like a light in your cosy chair. It can go either way. For me I found it poor, but kind of entertaining in certain purple patches. Although, it can be quite drawn out and you can call the disappointing ending rather anti-climatic.

The odd mixture found in this English horror is easily influenced by such films in the period like "Rosemary's Baby" and "It's Alive!". The groovy 70s holds a psychedelic awe here, especially with its snazzy and quite jerky music score. The pizazz of the bold score is just relentless! The empty story is simply a gallery of routine nasty shocks and not much else eventuates in this dismal vassal. Even the careless direction twaddles along with many shabby touches and the dour looking background of London paints an sordid product. But still in patches in delivered one or two eerily, hasty scenes involving a graphic decapitation and trippy dream sequence. There's also some scenes involving women being in the buff, because of the main character's ex-occupation. But more often you'll be waiting for something different to happen and the constant flashes of the dwarf's face on the baby when it's chucking a hissy fit and knocking off the unexpected victims it's just far from menacing. Ha.. Ha! Now that's more like it. Well that's what any sane person would do because you'll be struggling not to find this whole concept to be simply droll. This violent, tantrum wielding baby just strikes the fear in the hearts of people… that's if you can't stand cute looking babies, or (oh no, how terrifying) parenthood.

The performances by a decent looking cast are pretty much middling stuff. It's suspiciously campy with many awkward and REALLY repetitive lines of dialogues. No one entirely looks that comfortable with the farcical material. There's a special guest appearance by Donald Pleasence who gives a collected performance as Dr. Finch. An over-the-top Joan Collins does her best (yep, she tries real hard) in the emotionally, wayward lead role of Lucy Carlesi. Ralph Bates is dead as wood as the husband Gino Carlesi. Eileen Atkins plays the concerned Sister Albana. Caroline Munro has a small part as Lucy's friend. John Steiner is fitting as the sleazy ex-boss / boyfriend and Hilary Mason as the disgruntled housekeeper.

Horribly poor and it's lulls about in spots, but there are certain aspects within the film that makes it watchable.

Not good

[Steamcarrot · 3/10 · 23 November 2006]

Lying uncomfortably between barely watchable and so-bad-it's-good comes The Monster aka I Don't Want To Be Born aka The Devil Within Her. A British rip-off of Rosemary's Baby, The Exorcist and many others. This has a good cast with (a still looking good at 42) Joan Collins, Ralph Bates, Donald Pleasance and horror-eye-candy stalwart Caroline Munro. Collins plays an ex-stripper, now married to Italian Ralph Bates and the film starts with Collins going through a difficult child birth, or so we're meant to think. If that was meant to be bad, Mrs Steamcarrot must have been giving birth to Godzilla with our first born. Anyway, because of turning down a dwarf's advances the child is cursed to be possessed by the devil. In reality the ankle biter only has huge strength and a nasty attitude. All scenes of the 'demonic' brat hurting or killing people are off-screen. You see Collins recoiling in horror with scratch marks on her face, then cut to a picture of a very-undevilish baby looking all cutesy. Or a hand reaching out and shoving a nurse into a pond then cut back to cutesy kid, pram blankets unruffled. I don't mind a bit of suspension of disbelief, but this takes it too far. Anyway Ralph Bates' nun sister arrives, sporting silly accent and working at an animal testing laboratory (!), and thinks Collins' suspicions of possession is probably right. But she waits until everyone is killed to perform a simple exorcism that kills the cursing dwarf and returns the baby to normality. Why didn't she do that when she first arrived? No idea, it was only a bit of Latin and placing a cross on the forehead. This is a very silly film with hardly any redeeming features. Plus points include an unintentionally hilarious 'erotic' dance with said dwarf from Ms Collins, some nice shots of London and that's about it. Oh and the soundtrack to the lovemaking scene gave me a groaning chuckle. A disappointing 3. Director Peter Sasdy is capable of much better.

I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN (Peter Sasdy, 1975) **

[Bunuel1976 · 5/10 · 23 January 2010]

This was shown on local TV as part of a Horror movie season back in the Summer of 1983 when we still owned a black-and-white TV set; other similar screenings included TASTE THE BLOOD OF Dracula (1970; that I caught up with only a few years ago) and LEGEND OF THE WEREWOLF (1975; that I did watch back then). Although the film under review has been available on DVD in R2 land for some time now (including from reliable label Network), I shirked from purchasing it for two reasons: its being a bare-bones affair – as opposed to, say, Sasdy's COUNTESS Dracula (1971) from the same label – and its (somewhat undeserved) maligned reputation as being one of the least among British horror films of the 1970s. The theme of a possessed infant, of course, harks back to Roman Polanski's ROSEMARY'S BABY (1968) but the medical tests/exorcism bits naturally had the more current THE EXORCIST (1973) as its template. Since the film utilizes the services of several Hammer veterans (Sasdy, Joan Collins, Ralph Bates, Caroline Munro), it can be mistaken for one of their productions; genre regulars Donald Pleasence and John Steiner (in a rare appearance in a non-Italian film) are also featured but the acting honors are stolen from 'newcomer' Eileen Atkins (as the exorcising nun!). The seedy atmosphere of British night-life is well-captured as Collins – playing an ex-stripper who marries Italian businessman Bates(!) – is cursed when she rejects the sexual advances of the dwarf who performs with her in the cabaret shows!!; frankly, it was quite disappointing to find that it was his evil spirit that possessed Collins' child as opposed to Satan (or one of his minions)...especially since the sinful dwarf is still alive at the time! Still, the recurring images of him in the baby's cot (as they appear to the increasingly distressed Collins) are disturbing enough in themselves. Also, the fact that the baby is born during the credits sequence robs the film of much-needed audience empathy with the characters (especially the ineffectual Bates); suffice it to say that the baby is only 'seen' at the very end of the much-longer ROSEMARY'S BABY! For the record, the 'devilish' antics of the baby include: the repeated trashing of his room; spitting at his visitors; scratching bloodiedly (both Collins and Atkins receive this facial treatment); biting fingers (the sullen maid – whose fate should have been much worse given how much she comes to loathe the boy!); slapping potential father Steiner's face; pushing the baby-sitter to her death in a pond; strangling Bates and hiding his body in the sewer!; beheading Pleasence with a shovel!; and fatally stabbing Collins. The baby – or, rather, the dwarf's evil spirit – finally gets his comeuppance when Atkins (Bates' nun sister) performs the exorcism rite (causing the dancing dwarf to expire agonizingly in mid-routine). As a whole, the film proved sufficiently enjoyable if decidedly too preposterous and silly to be taken too seriously and, at the end of the day, Atkins' performance and Ron Grainer's groovy score (that, alternately, reminded me of both Frank Zappa and Pink Floyd!) emerge as its outstanding qualities. While the film's original title, I DON'T WANT TO BE BORN, is the one I am most familiar with, it should be said that the film was released under the totally misleading moniker of THE DEVIL WITHIN HER in the U.S. (which probably got it confused with the recently-released Italian EXORCIST rip-off, CHI SEI? aka BEYOND THE DOOR – which I will be getting to presently) and, more recently, it was released on R2 DVD as the ultra-generic THE MONSTER (despite there already being a totally unrelated Lon Chaney movie from 1925 with that name)!

Corny But Fairly Interesting

[Rainey-Dawn · 6/10 · 22 April 2015]

This movie is known as 'Sharon's Baby', aka 'The Monster: I Don't Want to Be Born', and aka 'Devil Within Her'. Starring Joan Collins, Ralph Bates, Donald Pleasence and Eileen Atkins. Lucy Carlesi is played by Joan Collins. Lucy's baby is somehow possessed by the dwarf Hercules (George Claydon) that she once worked with. (The lead character is LUCY not Sharon... so why is this film aka 'Sharon's Baby'? Maybe they changed her name from Sharon to Lucy??? At any rate, the film is fairly interesting even though a bit corny.)

I liked this film better than I anticipated - I knew it was going to be a bit on the corny side (and it is) but not so cornball that I couldn't enjoy it. The movie grabbed me from the start - I had to suspend my beliefs in order to watch this movie but that is true with quite a few movies.

This movie is NOT the quality of Rosemary's Baby but it is entertaining.... kept me interested from start to finish. :D 6.5/10

I guess the Devil Made them do it... :=8P

[MooCowMo · 1/10 · 16 May 1999]

Terrible, derivative rip-off of Rosemary's Baby features Joan Collins at her blandest, and Donald Pleasance at his moost boring (has he made a decent moovie other than Halloween??). Gee, can you tell that baby Collins is possessed by Satan? Does anyone really care? This turkey is also known by about 6 other titles, including "I Don't Want to be Born" - hmmmm, perhaps the moovie was trying to tell the producers something. MooCow says find a hole & bury this turkey. :=8P

The Devil Within Her

[eggartrealty · 9/10 · 29 September 2010]

Just saw this movie running on Fox Movie Classics and it was entitled "The Devil Within Her" Total campy fun.

Very 70's look and feel. Acting was passable by most of the group. It was a nice surprise to see Donald Pleasance as the Doctor.

This could actually be re-done and made quiet scary given a good director and better actors.

It's definitely worth a late night watch on cable.

There was a lot of nudity (including Joan Collins) and bad wigs throughout. The opening scene of the baby's birth was really upsetting and violent (similar to the opening in It's Alive - another great horror flick from the 70's).

Cheesy But Fun

[gavin6942 · 6/10 · 30 October 2012]

A woman (Joan Collins) gives birth to a baby, but this is no ordinary little tyke. The child is seemingly possessed by the spirit of a freaky, sexual dwarf (George Claydon) whom the mother once spurned. From director Peter Sasdy, who made "Countess Dracula" (1971) and "Hands of the Ripper" (also 1971).

First, let me absolutely say that I love this film being retitled "Sharon's Baby". The original title, "Devil Within Her", is so much better, and the new title just sounds like a cheesy knockoff of "Rosemary's Baby"... which, of course, is a film it could never live up to. Sounds like the sort of new title that would get it played at sleazy drive-ins or theaters on 42nd Street.

The soundtrack is awesome. Not unlike Goblin's work in Italian films, it seems that the musicians here were going for the same style. The only problem is that this style of music only works in Italian films... and sounds completely silly in British or American works. I loved it, but I can imagine the average person wondering what the heck is going on.

Horror fans will love seeing Donald Pleasence, who has far too small of a role as Dr. Finch. Maybe he did not read the script, or maybe it sounded better on paper than it turned out on film, but I am glad he signed on for this.

At the time of release, Andrew Nickolds wrote that he film was "derivative and disastrous in every respect: a poor idea... an abominable screenplay by Stanley Price... ludicrous acting... and worst of all, Sasdy's direction. Almost every foot of film not concerned with the baby is travelogue at its most banal – extraneous shots of Westminster and Oxford Street, plugs for Fortnum & Mason and Holiday Inns. Completing this sorry tale of rip-off is borrowing from The Exorcist... and any number of details from Amicus, Hammer and Swinging London horrors. Give it a wide berth." Wow, Andrew, harsh!

Luckily, the film has since enjoyed its place as a cult camp favorite, because really, who besides Nickolds was taking it that seriously?

Not bad.

[gridoon · 5/10 · 4 December 2001]

Sure, there are scenes that are staged amateurishly, but undemanding horror fans should still find this OK viewing. It has a distinct London flavor (thanks to good location footage) and a quietly effective performance by a pre-"Halloween" Donald Pleasance in a good-guy role. Not half-bad, as "Rosemary's Baby" ripoffs go. (**)