Columbo (TV Series)

Troubled Waters (1975)

Peter Falk: Columbo

Photos 

Quotes 

• Purser Watkins : Lieutenant Columbo? The Captain would like to see you right away.

  Lt. Columbo : The Captain? To see me? It's not about my wife, is it? I mean... she likes to have a good time, sometimes she gets carried away...

  Purser Watkins : It's not about your wife, sir.

• Lt. Columbo : [seasick]  The same thing happened to me last year. My wife and I were checked into this motel with a water bed. I thought I was gonna die.

• Lt. Columbo : [Lt. Columbo is preparing to test fire a bullet for a ballistics check]  Would you mind?

  Hayden Danziger : Mind what?

  Lt. Columbo : Mind firing the gun into the mattress. I hate guns. Besides, I'm a bad shot. I'm liable to miss.

• Capt. Gibbon : [noting Columbo's raincoat]  O-o-oh, tell me, Lieutenant... um... do you expect inclement weather in the Mexican waters?

  Lt. Columbo : No, they tell me the weather down there's great this time of the year.

• Lt. Columbo : [Pointing to surgical gloves]  Do you know how many pairs of these you have on board?

  Doctor Frank Pierce : Uh, no, not offhand.

• Lloyd Harrington : Wait, Lieutenant, the man in the photograph... Do you think he's the one that did it?

  Lt. Columbo : Yes. But don't say anything. I haven't gotten him yet.

• Lt. Columbo : We're going on a tropical cruise. Who packs gloves?

• Lt. Columbo : Saxophone repair, lead sheets, piano tuning, hotel, restaurant... All these receipts have one thing in common. They represent tax deductions, with one single exception - the receipt for the gun. He can't deduct that. He can deduct all these, so we know why he saved these. I'll tell ya, sir, for the life of me I can't understand why he saved this one.

• Hayden Danziger : Why are you checking on previous passengers?

  Lt. Columbo : It's the timing of the murder, sir. Whoever killed Miss Wells must've known that she would go to her cabin during the break. You see, that would suggest a member of the crew or a member of the band. A passenger wouldn't know that - not on the FIRST night of the cruise - but a previous passenger WOULD.

• Purser Watkins : And, uh, Lieutenant, that's a boat.

  Lt. Columbo : Oh, that's a... and... To hell with it.

• Lt. Columbo : [speaking to Danziger at the evening party]  I will keep on something until it's finished.

• Lt. Columbo : I think I'll walk. The elevator's another one of my problems.

• Lt. Columbo : Sometimes my thoughts, it gets like a traffic jam in here.