Jean Rochefort: Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse
Photos
Quotes
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Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [referring to Captain Cambrai] Get ready, Captain, to scream for your mother!
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Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [to Captain Cambrai] I've been in Intelligence for twenty years, Captain, and I have *never* had a nervous breakdown!
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Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [to Perrache] Don't forget that Milan is dead... and that the murder weapon was The Tall Blond.
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Perrache : [continuing the briefing about the Minister] He's a man who loves to hear himself talk. He's conceited as all hell and as slippery as a wet cake of soap. He has a mistress, 22 years old. We bugged her apartment two days ago; he calls her "my pretty geisha girl", she calls him her "wild bull".
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [reflectively] Her wild bull.
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Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [referring to the Minister] There must be a way to corral that "wild bull". Start checking on his income tax.
Perrache : He pays every penny, sir.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : But why?
Perrache : I don't know why, but he does.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Just has to be different, that idiot; can't act like anyone else.
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Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : The Blond's funeral is in two hours... I'd rather he were dead.
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François Perrin : [about the Minister] He's bound to suspect something... I mean, he's not completely stupid.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Would you care to bet on that?
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Perrache : [reading the eulogy for Perrin, which he has been typing at Toulouse's dictation] No, Francois Perrin, your blood was not spilt in vain.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [rips the paper from the typewriter] I'm not asking for your opinion, just type the damn funeral oration!
[reads from the paper]
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Francois Perrin, dead in action in a foreign land, a soldier in that shadowy army that defends the sacred and eternal liberties of France, all the free peoples of the world owe you their gratitude and admira-...
Perrache : [wearily] Don't you think that's a bit too much?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : It's not too much!
[pause, then]
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : It's crap... but not too much.
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Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : [telling Perrin about thw Minister] This Minister is a perfect idiot... he thinks you are James Bond, Mr. Perrin.
François Perrin : Me?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Or to be precise, a combination of James Bond, Mata Hari and J. Edgar Hoover.
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François Perrin : [he's been reading a dossier on Cabrai, chuckling at first at some of the items, then becoming shocked] But what's the point of it? It's none of my business and all that!
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : I advise you to read that dossier attentively. The truths it contains are our weapons.
François Perrin : But what kind of truths? He wet his bed until the age of twelve! What does it prove?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : That's not the part that interests us.
[he takes the dossier and reads from it]
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : In the Army for over twelve years, he has never seen action, only administrative work. Attempted to take some part in the action in Africa; he got into Intelligence and volunteered to take part in interrogations, but during one such interview burst into tears. He went into hysterics, was hospitalized for two months and returned to office work.
François Perrin : So what?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Cambrai would like to pass for merciless, but as soon as blood begins to flow our hero cracks, he calls for his mommy to hold his hand, and you may rest assured, Mr. Perrin... he'll be screaming for his mother!
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François Perrin : And what's all this about sending me on a mission? Maurice told me it'd be dangerous.
[Toulouse and Perrache say nothing]
François Perrin : Well, what about it?
Perrache : I'm impressed; it's pretty good.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Yes, he's quite clever, our friend the captain.
Perrache : Convinces the Minister they've got to have The Tall Blond on a mission.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : A very dangerous one.
Perrache : Obviously; that'd be the point.
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Preferably fatal, yes.
Perrache : The Tall Blond gets himself killed.
François Perrin : Huh?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : And we are back in trouble again
François Perrin : What do you mean, "The Tall Blond gets killed"?
Perrache : Or they discover his corpse horribly mutilated someplace.
François Perrin : *My* corpse?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Cambrai rushes over to tell that half-witted Minister that I'm a killer.
François Perrin : But you *are* one! You *are* a killer!
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François Perrin : I want Christine right away!
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : All right, you'll get her but in installments.
François Perrin : In what?
Colonel Louis, Marie, Alphonse Toulouse : Only her ears to begin with, then perhaps her thumbs and a couple of her toes. We'll return her to you... but piece by piece!
