Godspell (1973)

David Haskell: John, Judas

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jesus : Now, how can you take a speck of sawdust out of your brother's eye when all the time there's this great plank in your own?

  Judas : I don't know. How can you take a speck of sawdust out of your brother's eye when all the time there's this great plank in your own?

  Jesus : You hypocrite!

  Judas : [confused cry of alarm]  Wha-ha?

  Jesus : First you take the plank out of your own eye so you can see clearly to take the speck of sawdust out of your brother's!

  Judas : Wait a minute! That's no answer to the question!

  Jesus : Did I promise you an answer to the question?

  Judas : Ah... No.

• Jesus : Stop!

  [the Pharisee Monster appears in front of him, Judas, and the disciples] 

  Jesus : This is the beginning.

  Pharisee Monster : By whose authority are you acting like this? Who gave you this authority?

  Jesus : Well, I have a question to ask you. Answer it, and I will tell you by whose authority I act. The Baptism of John - was it from God, or was it from man?

  Pharisee Monster : [thinking]  If we say "from God", then he will say, "Then why did you not believe?" But if we say "from men", the people will be angry, for they took John as a prophet.

  [to Jesus] 

  Pharisee Monster : We do not know.

  Jesus : Then neither will I tell you by whose authority I act!

  [starts to walk away] 

  Pharisee Monster : Stop! Now we know you are an honest man. Give us your ruling on this: are we, or are we not permitted to pay taxes to the Roman emperor?

  Judas : Why, you hypocrites, I...!

  [Jesus and Merrell restrain him] 

  Jesus : Show me the money in which the tax is paid.

  [the Pharisee Monster spits coins at Jesus, who picks one up] 

  Jesus : Whose head is on here, whose inscription?

  Pharisee Monster : Caesar's!

  Jesus : Well, then, pay Caesar was is due Caesar, but pay God what is due God!

  Pharisee Monster : What is the greatest Commandment of them all?

  Jesus : Thou shalt love the Lord, youe God, with all your heart and your soul." This is the greatest Commandment of them all. The second is like it: "Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself." All the rest of the Law and what the prophets have written is based on these first two.

  [angry] 

  Jesus : You doctors of the Law, and you Pharisees sit in the chair of Moses, but you say one thing and you do another. Everything you do is done for show.

  [scornfully] 

  Jesus : Oh, you like to have your places of honor at feasts, and in the synagogues, and to be greeted respectfully, and to be called "teacher."

  [bows sarcastically] 

  Jesus : But must not be called "teacher", for you have ONE teacher, the Messiah. And you must not call any man on Earth "Father", for you have ONE Father, and you are all BROTHERS!

• Lynne : Master...

  [Lynne climbs down from a stage and rushes to Jesus. Gilmer, Robin, Joanne, Jeffrey, Merrell, Jerry and Katie follow] 

  Lynne : Master! Blessed are the poor in Spirit...

  Jesus : For theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.

  Gilmer : Blessed are they who mourn...

  Jesus : For they shall be comforted.

  Robin : Blessed are the meek...

  Jesus : For they shall inherit the Earth.

  Joanne : Blessed are they who hunger and thirst for justice...

  Jesus : For they shall be filled.

  Jeffrey : Blessed are the merciful...

  Jesus : For they shall have mercy.

  Merrell : Blessed are the pure in heart...

  Jesus : For they shall see God.

  Jerry : Blessed are the peace-makers...

  Jesus : For they shall be called the children of God.

  Katie : Blessed are those who are persecuted for righteousness' sake...

  Jesus : For theirs is the Kingdom of *heaven*!

  [the others applaud] 

  Judas : [shouting from the distant stage]  Blessed are ye... When men shall persecute you and revile you... and say all manner of evil against you...

  [pauses then calms down] 

  Judas : falsely.

• John : [after baptizing the disciples in the Bethesda Fountain]  I baptize you with water for repentance, but He that comes after me is mightier than I. I am not fit to take off His shoes. And He will baptize you all with the Holy Spirit and with fire!

  Jesus : Hey!

  John : You come to me?

  Jesus : I want to get washed up.

  John : I would rather be baptized by you.

  Jesus : No, we do well now to comform with all that God requires.

• Judas : Then the man they called Judas Iscariot went to the chief priests and said, "What will you give me to betray him to you?" They paid him thirty pieces of silver, and from that moment he began to look out for an opportunity to betray him.

• Judas : There once was a very rich man who dressed in purple and the finest linen.

  Robin : Rich man, that's me.

  Judas : And every day he feasted in the greatest magnificence. At his gate lay a poor man named Lazarus, who would've been glad to have satisfied his hunger with the scraps from the rich man's table.

  Robin : Oh my God, it's good! Get out of there!

  Judas : Now even the doggy-doggies used to come to Lazarus and lick his open running sores.

  Jerry : [making a face]  Blecch!

  Judas : Sorry. Well, one day the poor man died...

  [Jerry pretends to fall over dead] 

  Judas : ... and was carried away by the angels to be with Abraham. The rich man also died and was buried and sent to Hades...

  Robin : [nervously]  Hello.

  Demons : Hello.

  Judas : ...where he was in torment. He looked up, and there, far, far away was Abraham with Lazarus close beside him.

  Robin : Oh, Father Abraham, have pity on me. Send Lazarus to dip the tip of his finger in water to cool my tongue. For I'm in agony in this fire. Let go of me, will ya!

  Gilmer : [as Abraham, with a Brooklyn accent]  Remember, my child, that all the good things fell ta you when you were on Earth, and all the bad things fell to Lois.

  Jerry : [as Lazarus]  Lazarus.

  Gilmer : Abraham! Glad ta know ya! And now it is *he* who has consolation here, and it is *you* who are in agony.

  Robin : Then, Father Abraham, send Lazarus to my father's house, where I have five pies... I mean, brothers... to warn them, so they too may not come to this place of torment.

  Gilmer : They got Moses and the prophets. Let them listen to them.

  Robin : Yeah. But if somebody from the dead should rise, then they'd listen.

  Gilmer : Look, if they don't listen ta Moses and the prophets, they ain't gonna listen to *nobody*, even if somebody *should* rise from the dead!

• Merrell : There once was a king...

  Everyone : Yeah, yeah.

  Merrell : ...who decided to settle accounts with the men who served him.

  Everyone : Yeah, yeah, yeah.

  Merrell : Well, at the outset, there appeared before the master a man whose debt ran into the millions!

  Everyone : What?

  Merrell : I said the millions!

  Everyone : Whoa!

  Merrell : Since the man had no means of paying the money, the master ordered him to be sold to meet the debt with his wife.

  Everyone : Whoa!

  Merrell : And his child.

  Everyone : Whoa!

  Merrell : And everything he had. Well, the man threw himself down at the master's feet and went...

  Everyone : Doo bop a loom boom!

  Jeffrey : Oh, be patient with me.

  Merrell : He said.

  Jeffrey : And I shall pay you full.

  Merrell : And so moved with pity was the master, that he decided to free the man and remit the debt! And let's hear it for the master!

  Everyone : [imitating cheerleaders]  Give me an M, give me an A-S-T-E-R. Yay, master!

  Judas : Wait a minute. But no sooner had the man been released, then he met a fellow servant who owed him a few dollars. Well, he gripped him by the throat and said...

  Jeffrey : Pay me! I says pay me what you owes me!

  Judas : Whoa, the man fell at his fellow servant's feet and begged him, saying...

  Jerry : Please, please. Be patient with me. I shall pay you.

  Lynne : But he refused, saying...

  Jeffrey : Look!

  Jerry : What?

  Lynne : And had him jailed until he should pay the debt.

  Gilmer : [in a southern accent]  Well, the other servants were deeply distressed when they saw what had happened. Are you sitting down? They ran and told their master the whole story, mm-hmm.

  Robin : DAAAAH!

  Gilmer : Accordingly he sent for the man.

  Robin : You scoundrel!

  Gilmer : He said to him!

  Robin : I remitted the whole of your debt when you appealed unto me. Were you not bound to show your fellow servant the same pity I showed to you?

  Jerry : And so angry was the master that he condemned the man to torture, until he could pay the debt in full.

  [everyone pretends to torture Jefferey] 

  Jesus : And that is how my Heavenly Father will deal with you, unless you forgive your brothers from you hearts.

• Jesus : Now you have heard that they were told "an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth", but what I tell you is this. Never set yourself against the man who wrongs you. So if someone slaps you on your right cheek, turn and offer him your left.

  Judas : Oh, Jesus Chr...

  [Gilmer jumps on him and covers his mouth] 

  Everyone : Slowly I turn, step by step, inch by inch.

  [Jesus slaps Judas] 

  Judas : [moves to hit Jesus and stops]  Hello? It's for you.

  [laughs but Jesus doesn't] 

  Judas : No, I didn't think so.

  [turns his cheek] 

• Jesus : When you do some act of charity, don't announce it with a flourish of trumpets as the heathen do in synagogues and in the streets. I tell you, they do it just to win admiration from men. No, when you do some act of charity, don't let your right hand know what your left hand is doing. Your good deed must be done in secret.

  [everybody huddles together] 

  Merrell : [to the camera]  It's a secret.

  Judas : Now what the Good Master is telling us all right now is that up in Heaven, there's about a hundred million little tiny angels about yea-by-yea, and they all take shorthand. And every time you do something silly, they write it in...

  Jesus : No, no, no.

  Judas : That's not what the Good Master is telling us?

  Jesus : Your Heavenly Father, who sees what is done in secret, He will what?

  Everyone : Reward you!

  [fireworks explode out of Judas' wagon]