Carry on Girls (1973)

Joan Sims: Connie Philpotts

Photos 

Quotes 

• Connie Philpotts : It's your girls I'm talking about, I've heard them all night long, doors banging ...

  Sid Fiddler : Blimey, when you've got young dollies around you have to expect a bit of banging.

  Connie Philpotts : Well, I expect you to get them into bed at a reasonable hour.

  Sid Fiddler : I promise you, I'll do my very best!

• Connie Philpotts : You and a bunch of beauty queens? It's like asking Dracula to be in charge of a blood bank!

  Sid Fiddler : Now, now, wait a minute, that's not true. You know I don't go for beautiful women: I like you.

  Connie Philpotts : That does it! Go on! You lecherous so-and-so, go on, GET OUT!

• Connie Philpotts : Hello, Mrs. Dukes, I thought you were going to the cinema.

  Mrs. Dukes : I did, but I had to leave. A young man sat next to me and started to make improper suggestions.

  Connie Philpotts : Again? Really, you should complain to the manager.

  Mrs. Dukes : I can't - he's after me too, you see!

  Connie Philpotts : Well, Mrs. Dukes, perhaps you shouldn't make yourself look quite so attractive.

  Mrs. Dukes : Oh it's not that, I can't help it. I give out waves, you know.

  Connie Philpotts : Really?

  Mrs. Dukes : Yes, my late husband used to call it OOMPH!

• Ida Downs : Oh! You're a dirty old man!

  Admiral : [to Connie]  Mrs. Philpotts, I wish to complain. This young woman molested me.

  Ida Downs : Well, I like that!

  Admiral : Whether you like it or not, my dear, is quite immaterial.

  Sid Fiddler : [to Ida]  Yes, all right, darling, I'll sort it out.

  Admiral : Cheeky little thing! I'd like to put her across my knee.

  Connie Philpotts : I'm sure you would, Admiral!

• Sid Fiddler : Connie, have you got a room for this young lady please?

  Connie Philpotts : Well, of course, Sidney!

  [Handing over the key] 

  Connie Philpotts : I think you'll find this an ideal one.

  Sid Fiddler : Thank you, Connie. Hey, just a minute, that's for the broom cupboard.

  Connie Philpotts : That's right: where we keep all the scrubbers!

  Sid Fiddler : [to a furious Hope]  All right, all right, keep your hair on!

  [Hands her another key] 

  Sid Fiddler : Here, go and change in mine. I'll sort it out later.

  Hope Springs : Ta. I heard that - does she fancy you or something?

  Sid Fiddler : You know how it is, a widow with a place like this, things get on top of her.

  Hope Springs : Yeah, I bet they do. Frequently!