The Maltese Bippy (1969)
Dan Rowan: Sam Smith
Photos
Quotes
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Dick Martin : [during opening credits] You told me we're equal partners. Sixty/forty, we split everything down the middle... Except Florence.
Dan Rowan : I am not interested in half of Florence.
Dick Martin : You don't know what you're missing.
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Ernest Grey : I got news for you, Molly. As of today, the partnership of Smith and Grey is defunct.
Molly Fletcher : Well, hallelujah! No more Mr. Big Mouth!
Sam Smith : Are you going to let your housekeeper insult a guest in that fashion? Why, I have a good mind to pack up and leave.
Molly Fletcher : Promises, promises!
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Sam Smith : You're gonna give up two million bucks to save a housekeeper? Have you ever tasted her spaghetti?
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Sam Smith : Well don't just stand there, go take a look!
Ernest Grey : You heard him, go take a look!
Molly Fletcher : I heard him, let him go take a look!
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Sam Smith : Just sign this contract, my little Pomeranian, I'll have you in dog bisquits the rest of your life.
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Sam Smith : All right, were's your cotton-picking diamond eating friend?
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Sam Smith : Adolph, before your very eyes, a human being turns into a wolf, at night.
Adolph Springer : At night?
Sam Smith : Yes!
Adolph Springer : What about matinees?
Sam Smith : Oh...
Mona : Day and night, that's all he thinks about!
Adolph Springer : Would you believe this woman? A one track mind! I'm talking business!
Mona : So talk!
Adolph Springer : So I'm talking.
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Sam Smith : Please, don't crush the kashmir.
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Sam Smith : You mean you'd double cross your own brother?
Carlotta Ravenswood : Wouldn't you for two million dollars?
Sam Smith : I haven't got a brother.
Carlotta Ravenswood : Neither have I...
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Sam Smith : We're shooting an art film!
Police Officer : Looks like a stag film to me.
Saundra : I only work in family type pictures.
Police Officer : Young lady, how old are you?
Saundra : Eighteen...
Police Officer : Lets see your I.D. card.
Ernest Grey : Why, she's not drinking?
Sam Smith : Yeah...
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Sam Smith : [about to take the photograph] Everybody howl.
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Sam Smith : [Opening the door to the motel room] After you, my dear.
Carlotta Ravenswood : [Entering the room] A motel room... How utterly American.
Sam Smith : Everything deluxe.
Carlotta Ravenswood : [chuckling seductively] I've heard what goes on in these places.
Sam Smith : It's what comes off that counts.
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Sam Smith : What the hell. I can always get a distemper shot.