Never a Dull Moment (1968)

Edward G. Robinson: Leo Joseph Smooth

Photos 

Quotes 

• Leo Joseph Smooth : [to Florian, whom he just backhanded across the face]  Stop that bleeding, will ya? It's stupid.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : I heard about that big run-in you had with the Treasury boys.

  Jack Albany : Yeah, yeah, I heard that.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Well, you were there.

  Jack Albany : Well, I heard you heard.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : You all right now?

  Jack Albany : Yeah, I limp a little on the leg. You know how...

  Leo Joseph Smooth : I thought he gottcha in the shoulder.

  Jack Albany : He did, yes... It hit a nerve. Affected my leg. I still limp on it.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : He warned me to keep you away from booze and broads. He said booze and broads put you right out of your head.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : You know, I used to paint things you could recognize. You know, flowers, trees, waterfalls. Now I do that kinda stuff,

  [Points to his splashed canvas] 

  Leo Joseph Smooth : and she swears its progress.

  Sally Inwood : You know what we're trying to accomplish, Mr. Smooth.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Well, someday we're going back to flowers and trees.

  Sally Inwood : And they'll be YOUR flowers and trees.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : I wanna be remembered.

  Jack Albany : Well, as it is if you wouldn't be?

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Oh, yes, in some circles, but... Dillinger, Capone, Bugsy Moran. Those are names the whole world knows. They live on through the deeds associated with 'em.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Well, I wanna do something that'll make a place in history for my name. Posterity doesn't honor executives.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : You know, Bobby used to be a fighter. Pretty good, too.

  Bobby Macoon : Eight years in the ring.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Now he's my communications expert.

  Jack Albany : Oh, still listening for the bell, huh Bobby?

• Leo Joseph Smooth : I brought Cowboy in from Vegas. Fastest tommy gun in the West.

  Cowboy Schaeffer : Aw, shucks, Joe.

• Jack Albany : [Speaking nabout Frank Foley]  I got a parlor trick. In one second I make him dead and catch him before he hits the floor.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Uh, when the time comes, I'll make him dead myself.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Frank, I want you to shake hands with Ace Williams. And from now on, I want you to treat him like a brother.

  Frank Boley : Last year I worked my brother over so bad...

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Now, Frank...

• Leo Joseph Smooth : If you'll shut your ignorant yaps, I'll set you guys straight on a few facts. First. It's not a lousy picture. It's a very fine picture and it's a very famous picture... worth around 600 Gs.

  Bobby Macoon : 600 Gs?

  Leo Joseph Smooth : And, second, it's 40 feet long. A whole room!

• Leo Joseph Smooth : [to Florian, after slapping him across the face]  What're you always bleedin' for?

• Leo Joseph Smooth : What happened?

  Frank Boley : He got fresh with the artist and she took care of him.

  Jack Albany : I should have killed her.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Francis.

  [Francis picks Jack up off the floor] 

• Leo Joseph Smooth : I'm glad you were able to control yourself. I'm paid up for three more lessons.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Pepé was right about you and broads.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : He thanks you, he relaxes, and you kill him. Now, how do you figure you'll do it?

  Jack Albany : [Acting as Ace Williams]  Do what?

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Kill him.

  Jack Albany : Oh, well maybe a shiv at the base of the medulla oblongata. Or, maybe I'll paralyze the clavichord. All depends on how I feel at the time.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Medulla oblongata? Well, in every art form, there's an element of spontaneity, you know. I'm the first to appreciate that.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : What's going on here?

  Sally Inwood : I would like another car, please, and another driver to take me home.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Why? Something's wrong with the car?

  Sally Inwood : It's broken.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : A new car, less than a thousand miles, and it's broken?

  Sally Inwood : Well, quite possibly it was not built to withstand crashing into a tree. Of course, that's just an opinion. I am not a mechanic.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Oh, you wrapped up the car?

  Florian : Well, she hit me.

  Sally Inwood : I slapped him, for the classic reason.

  Florian : All I did was...

  Leo Joseph Smooth : [Backhands Florian]  I know what you did.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Ah, so the kid got out of hand. He's sorry. And it's no great disaster.

  [Joe looks at Florian] 

  Leo Joseph Smooth : What are you always bleeding for?

• Sally Inwood : The Field of Sunflowers!

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Yeah.

  Sally Inwood : Why are you showing a picture of that here?

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Well, I, uh, shouldn't have to... there are people who appreciate art.

  Sally Inwood : These people? Well, there must be some other reason.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : [to Florian]  Keep your hands to yourself or I'll take 'em away from you.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : [to Jack Albany standing on a ledge]  Ace, I need you tomorrow, so I don't want you getting hurt. You get hurt, I'll kill you.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : Oh, so I've got a pair of aces, and I've gotta discard one.

  Jack Albany : You've got one ace... and a joker.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : [Closing the library door on Jack and Ace]  Have a good game, gentlemen. I'll be waiting outside to see who comes out ace high.

• Leo Joseph Smooth : How'd you do it? I'm curious.

  Jack Albany : Just an ordinary Australian neck clop.

• Florian : Hey, he ain't dead.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : What?

  Jack Albany : The neck clop disables, it doesn't kill.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Well, why'd you wanna go and use that clop for?

• Jack Albany : If I kill him, his mouth is sealed forever.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Let it be sealed.

  Jack Albany : Then you never find out who "they" is.

  Leo Joseph Smooth : Yeah. Well, that's good thinking.

• Jack Albany : [stumbles and falls over a sculpture] 

  Leo Joseph Smooth : He's clever.