Barbarella (1968)

Ugo Tognazzi: Mark Hand

Photos 

Quotes 

• Barbarella : I'm so grateful for what you've done, I hardly know how to begin to thank you. I'm positive I could get you some sort of recompense from my government. I mean if there's anything you need or that I can do, please tell me.

  Mark Hand : Well, you could let me, make love to you.

  Barbarella : Make love, did you say?

  Mark Hand : Yes.

  Barbarella : What do you mean? You don't even know my psychocardiogram?

  Mark Hand : Heh?

  Barbarella : Well, on Earth, for centuries, people haven't made love unless their psychocardiogram readings were in perfect compliments.

  Mark Hand : I know nothing of that. You asked me for what you could do for me and I told you.

  Barbarella : Well, alright. But, I don't see what good it will do? Do you have any pills?

  Mark Hand : Pills?

  Barbarella : Oh, never mind, I have some, here.

  Mark Hand : Wha-wha-what is this pill?

  Barbarella : Its an exultation transference pellant, of course.

  Mark Hand : Hmm? I know nothing of this.

  Barbarella : I see. Well, on Earth, when our psychocardiogram readings are in harmony and we wish to, make love, as you call it, we take an exultation transference pellant and remain, like this. Here, let me show you. For one minute or until full rapport is achieved.

  Mark Hand : Aww! I don't care for that. This, this is what I mean! This! A bed!

  Barbarella : That? Why nobodies done that for centuries. I mean, nobody except the very poor, who can't afford the pills and the psychocardiogram readings.

  Mark Hand : Why not?

  Barbarella : Cause it was proved to be distracting and a danger to maximum efficiency. And, and because it was pointless to continue, when other substitutes for ego support and self esteem were made available.

  Mark Hand : So, you won't do it?

  Barbarella : Well, if you simply must insist, I guess so. But, I can assure you, there's really no point at all in doing it like this.

  Mark Hand : Without your, eh, garments, please.

  Barbarella : Oh!

• Mark Hand : In some things the old-fashioned ways are best, after all.