- Woody: I don't think you're her type.
- Mike Samson: What do you mean? If that's the kind of guy she wants, that's the kind of guy she's gonna get.
- Mike Samson: [pretending to be "Herbert"] I'm majoring in Science; but, I - I like art too. Especially the depiction of the human form - in sculpture. That probably sounds funny to you.
- Delilah Dawes: Oh, no. I think a person should have *lots* of interests.
- Mike Samson: Do you know that girl?
- Woody: Never seen her before, unfortunately.
- Mike Samson: She just ruined a perfect score. I intend to find out why.
- Mike Samson: We can skip the formalities and get down to business.
- Delilah Dawes: I'm not sure I know what you mean.
- Mike Samson: Why don't you join the party?
- Delilah Dawes: Oh, it's nice to feel wanted.
- Mike Samson: There's a vacancy.
- Delilah Dawes: There sure is. Right between your ears!
- Woody: Wow, she doesn't think very much of you, does she? It looks pretty hopeless.
- Mike Samson: Woody, the trouble with you is, you don't think positive.
- Woody: Okay, I'm positive its hopeless.
- Daddy: Who?
- Daddy: Mike Samson, man. The cat that will win. He always wins.
- Harvey Pulp: Why, he'll be famous.
- Harvey Pulp: Your name will be on the lips of everyone in the nation. They'll all be saying, "Daddy".
- Daddy: That's a gas. I'll go spread the word.
- Daddy: No photographs, baby!
- Harvey Pulp: Why not?
- Daddy: Not without my shades, man. I gotta consider my image.
- Delilah Dawes: I'd like to buy a skateboard.
- Daddy: Groovy. What color?
- Delilah Dawes: Oh? How about fuchsia?
- Mike Samson: [pretending to be "Herbert"] I doubt if he's got that.
- Daddy: Fuchsia number 1? Fuchsia number 2? Or, Fuchsia number 3? Also known as: Groovy Grape.
- Delilah Dawes: I'll take that one.
- The Gentrys, Member of the Gentrys: [singing] Spread it on thick, Like peanut butter and jam, Spread your lovin' on me, baby, Anywhere, any time that you can. Spread it on thick, Like peanut butter and jam
- Member of the Gentrys: Spread it on me, baby, And I'll show you what a lover I am...
- The Animals, Member of the Animals: [singing] We gotta get out of this place, If it's the last thing we ever do, We gotta get out of this place
- Member of the Animals: Girl, there's a better life for me and you...
- Daddy: Introducing, "The Animals"!
- Member of the Animals: [singing] In this dirty old part of the city, Where the sun refused to shine, People tell me it ain't no use in tryin', My little girl you're so young and pretty, And one thing I know is true, You're gonna die before your time is due, See my daddy in bed a-dyin', See his hair turnin' gray, He's been workin' and slavin' his life away...
- Daddy: We're going to enter you in races all over the land. Travel, fame, and fortune will be yours.
- Mike Samson: I'll do my best.
- Daddy: That chick...
- Mike Samson: Isn't she a drag.
- Daddy: A drag? It's unique. That's what I wanted to talk to you about. Everybody likes a pretty girl. That's show biz! We gotta have her. You gotta keep her interested.
- Daddy: Okay, Cats, go!
- Member of the Castaways: [singing] Liar, liar, pants on fire, Your nose is longer than a telephone wire
- The Castaways, Member of the Castaways: Ask me, baby, why I'm sad, You've been out all night, know you've been bad...
- Delilah Dawes: That's what I like about you. You're so - loyal and - so considerate of others - so modest - and so shy. You know, you needn't be so shy.
- Mike Samson: [pretending to be "Herbert"] Can't help it.
- Delilah Dawes: Perhaps I can help you overcome it.
- Mike Samson: How?
- Delilah Dawes: Herbert, look at me. I want to be your friend.
- Mike Samson: You do?
- Delilah Dawes: Yes.
- Pebbles: You have a good time with Herbie last night?
- Delilah Dawes: Oh, yes. He's very special.
- Pebbles: Yeah, well, that's a good word for him.
- Mike Samson: [pretending to be "Herbie"] If I tried to kiss you, would you yell for help?
- Delilah Dawes: Would you need help?