- Glen Cannon: Why should I sign the castle over to you. You'll only kill us to keep us from talking
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: Oh, no! We need your blood.
- Glen Cannon: Why should I sign Falcon Roc Castle over to you. You won't let us go.
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: Oh, no! I want to keep you alive. You see, I need your blood.
- Glen Cannon: We'd like to speak to the Townsends, please.
- George, the butler: They are not available till after sunset.
- [referring to Liz, his shapely bathing suit model]
- Glen Cannon: Remarkable woman, isn't she?
- Telegram Delivery Man: Mm-hmm.
- Glen Cannon: Hard to believe she's really my mother.
- Telegram Delivery Man: Hmm?
- Glen Cannon: These preservation techniques today are really something, aren't they?
- Telegram Delivery Man: Excuse me.
- Glen Cannon: Thank God I'm not the only one who finds you provocative. Proves I'm not a sex fiend.
- Liz Arden: All it proves is all men are sex fiends.
- [Ann is chained to a wall in the castle's dungeon]
- George, the butler: You've had the misfortune of encountering Mango. Now you must remain as our "guest".
- Ann - Motorist Victim: Let me go! Please! What are you going to do to me?
- George, the butler: Right now, I'm going to take a sample of your blood.
- Ann - Motorist Victim: What?
- George, the butler: Your... blood.
- George, the butler: Your nightly stimulant, Countess.
- Countess Townsend: Thank you, George
- George, the butler: Count, I think you'll enjoy this vintage.
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: Mmm, delicious. I've never had it before.
- George, the butler: It's new. Mango brought in a young girl tonight. The type OO positive - very rare.
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: A young girl?
- George, the butler: Extremely young and beautiful. Perhaps even *pure*.
- [discussing Johnny]
- Countess Townsend: He's so young and carefree, not at all like we were at his age. That would be, ah, three centuries ago. We have been fortunate in finding loyal and devoted servants - friends like yourself.
- George, the butler: You spared me from the hangman's noose. I shall always be grateful for it.
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: [to George] Our survival depends on you, however you must admit that Johnny adds to the spice of our lives.
- Countess Townsend: We won't have to keep so many *guests* below for emergencies and we shall be supplied with new vintages all the time.
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: Young and pretty you say?
- [George nods]
- Countess Townsend: Charles, why don't we pay her a visit before we retire. After all, she is our guest. And besides, we must be sure to reward Mango.
- Countess Townsend: I trust you are being well taken care of, my dear.
- Ann - Motorist Victim: Why are you keeping me here? I haven't done anything to you.
- Countess Townsend: My dear, we need you. You see, we need your blood.
- Ann - Motorist Victim: My... blood? What kind of things are you?
- Countess Townsend: Vampires.
- Ann - Motorist Victim: Vampires?
- Countess Townsend: Why I know we may seem to be a novelty, but there are a few of us left.
- Count Dracula - alias Count Charles Townsend: We're dramatically referred to as "The Living Dead".
- Ann - Motorist Victim: Living Dead? Vampires? It must be some sort of joke. Please tell me it's a joke.
- Countess Townsend: Unfortunately, my dear, it's true. We come alive at sunset and must drink the blood of a human before we can retire at sunrise.