Texas Across the River (1966)

Dean Martin: Sam Hollis

Photos 

Quotes 

• [Sam and Baldy's "duel" ends when both men come face-to-face without drawing] 

  Sam Hollis : Well, what are you waiting for?

  Don Andrea Baldasar : For you to start... itching.

• Phoebe Ann Naylor : Well, it's plain to see you're no gentleman!

  [admiring Phoebe Ann's figure barely concealed by a wet blanket] 

  Sam Hollis : Well, it's plain to see you're not one, either.

• [last lines] 

  [an oil gusher erupts from the grave Lt. Sibley was digging] 

  Kronk : Every time dig hole, black poison shoot up! Now have to move town.

  Don Andrea Baldasar : [disgusted]  Texas. Pah!

  Sam Hollis : Eh, if it was up to me, I'd give it back to the Indians.

  Iron Jacket : Who wants it?

• Sam Hollis : Why couldn't you have been born a Comanche?

  Kronk : Mother run too fast.

• Sam Hollis : Baldy's grave is down by the corral. The jury dug it before the trial started.

• Don Andrea Baldasar : This is night. Are you going to sleep?

  Sam Hollis : Well, it ain't healthy to travel through Comanche territory in the daytime, so we'll travel at night.

  Don Andrea Baldasar : Oh, when we ride, the savage sleeps. Yes?

  Sam Hollis : Yep. Them Comanches believe the moon is an evil spirit.

• Sam Hollis : Why, you dumb, fool tenderfoot! Are you trying to take on that whole tribe single-handed?

  Don Andrea Baldasar : When one is alone, one must become an army.

• Don Andrea Baldasar : Ten paces.

  Sam Hollis : Ten paces?

  Don Andrea Baldasar : Why, that is customary. Do you wish to give the command to begin or shall I?

  Sam Hollis : I don't know what you got in mind, Baldy, but I'm here for a shootout.

  Don Andrea Baldasar : Precisely. You take ten steps that way; I take ten steps this way. Then we turn...

  Sam Hollis : Turn? Step? I ain't here for no square dance! Now which end of town do you want to come from?

• Don Andrea Baldasar : You stand so; I stand so. And then...

  Sam Hollis : Back to back? Now what kind of shootout is that?

  Don Andrea Baldasar : Please Sam Hollis. I have dueled many times in Spain and I'm...

  Sam Hollis : But this isn't Spain - it's Texas!

  Don Andrea Baldasar : Even a simple duel you cannot perform in a civilized manner!

  Sam Hollis : We have had civilized killings around here for years. I come from one end of town like this and you come from the other end... and you get the itch, you draw.

• [during an Indian attack, the settlers run out of ammunition] 

  Kronk : Gun empty.

  Sam Hollis : Yell, "Bang-bang."

  Kronk : For Comanche need bullets, not jokes.

• [Baldy attempts to rescue an Indian girl from a rattlesnake wielding medicine man] 

  Sam Hollis : He either likes girls or he's crazy about snakes.

• Kronk : Comanche run for hills.

  [Looks at Sam Hollis] 

  Kronk : Why you look so funny?

  Sam Hollis : [In Kronk's language]  Too mah kunoh tee hee sooti kaygoh-honi. And one laugh outta you and I'll boot you so hard your whole tribe'll fall down.