- Newhouse: Bus conductors are rarely observant. They tend to be dreamers, philosophers, that sort of thing. Self protection I suppose.
- Andrews: I didn't actually see anything in his flat, sir, but he could have gone in and taken the little girl's things any time this morning.
- Newhouse: Why should he, I wonder.
- Andrews: Bloody pervert, if you want my opinion, sir. Kept on asking Rogers to strike him.
- Newhouse: Please, Andrews, he works for the BBC.
- Doll-maker: This doll had almost been loved to death. You know, love inflicts the most terrible injuries on my small patients.
- Newhouse: I must now, I suppose, enter the personality of a 4-year old female child possessed of a strong conviction that all forbidden doors are to be opened.
- Cook: Do you know what this is?
- Ann Lake: It looks like junket.
- Cook: But when it looks like junket, it is junket. You know what Miss Elvira said about it?
- Ann Lake: No, but I really...
- Cook: She said, "Really, dear, can't we admit the junkets just the weest bit poor?" You know what I said?
- Ann Lake: No, but I would like...
- Cook: I said, "Miss Elvira," I said, "it's just as stupid to talk about poor junket as it is to talk about good junket." "Junket is junket," I said, and "no matter what you do with it, it still tastes like swill and swallows like slime."
- Wilson: I have some more African heads in my apartment. Small, pickled ones. Do drop in anytime you care to meet some unsuccessful politicians.
- Wilson: Some would be honored, may I tell you that, by my touch? There are those at the BBC who bear, like medals, bruises left by the love of Horatio Wilson.
- Newhouse: My father was a policeman. Managed to get me into a university. I think he rather wanted me to be a poet. When I told him I wanted to be a policeman like him, he was horrified. You'll have no friends, he said. No single decent human being will want to speak to you from now on. I must say he was perfectly right.
- Wilson: [moves in closer] I could, if you like, give you a private performance.
- Ann Lake: Please, just go away.
- Wilson: I'm told that my voice - is extremely seductive. It seems to unleash whole hurricanes of passion in the breasts of the females who watch me on the BBC. Perhaps you should sample the wine - before sending the bottle back to the cellar.
- Ada Ford: That would make me a suspect, don't you see? Queer old party saves child from undeserving parent.
- Wilson: Bunny rabbits? With those long, mean heads, and those wet noses going up and down all the time. Just who is this Bunny?
- Wilson: The telephone, that miracle of modern communication. I often wonder why it is that we communicate so much less with all these marvels at our disposal than we did in a more primitive day, without the wireless and the television.
- Dorothy: Brace yourself, Elvira. We can't seem to put our hands on one of the children.
- Elvira Smollett: Which one?
- Ann Lake: My little girl. Bunny Lake.
- Elvira Smollett: I don't recall any Bunny, or any Lake.
- Ada Ford: Children are at the mercy of their parents. And, for the most part, parents are a very bad lot.
- Ann Lake: The cook who walked out, is she a German woman?
- Elvira Smollett: Well, that's one way to describe her.
- The Zombies: [singing] Just out of reach, Time has changed you, I can see, Try to remember how we used to be, Come on, Back to me, Just out of reach...
- Wilson: The poor nuns used to lash each other... into positive frenzies of self-mortification. For myself, I find the sensation rather more titillating - if you'd care to have a bash.
- Rogers: No, thank you.
- Wilson: No, I can't say I blame you. Hardly what one would call a proper whip, is it? More like a plaything. But this one... You simply must try this one. It's my particular pet. It's reputed to have belonged to the great one himself: The Marquis de Sade.
- The Zombies: [singing] When I saw you again, little girl, Something stopped here inside and I wanted to...
- Wilson: I appear on the television, you know. They pay me to make use of my melodious voice. I sing rude old Welsh ballads. I recite a few things of my own... and then I give them Elizabethan drama. And all in exchange for one whiskey... served to me in the first aid room.
- Newhouse: We're not supposed to hit you, Mr. Lake. In return, I must ask you not to hit me. It doesn't prove anything.
- Wilson: What is it, duchess? Are you cold? Is that buttermilk flesh all frozen? What, cold, my girl?
- Wilson: If you won't come to the party, duchess, the party must come to you. Have a drink. I give you golden whiskey, Scottish wine.