Strange Bedfellows (1965)
Rock Hudson: Carter Harrison
Photos
Quotes
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Carter Harrison : We must've been out of or minds. What'd we fight about?
Toni Vincente : Everything.
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Richard Bramwell : Well you know the mentality of that Board, they're hooked on the idea of corporate image; solid American gentry, family respectability. For their top executives there are not Ten Commandments, only one: thou shalt be married - happily and respectably married...
Carter Harrison : ...Whether you like it or not
Richard Bramwell : That's right!
Carter Harrison : Well I've done just fine, these past seven years, happily and respectably, separated. And I've loved every minute of it
Richard Bramwell : Yeah, well, that's all gonna change. From now on you're going to have a new look. No more gay married bachelor, you've got to be Carter Harrison, family man
Carter Harrison : You are out of your skull!
Richard Bramwell : Carter, when that Board meets in Boston, you can be Yankee Doodle riding to town on a solid gold pony... income in six figures, a private plane, your own yacht, a house in Palm Beach - it's yours. All you need to do is show up in Boston, the week after next with one reasonably respectable wife
Carter Harrison : Forget it!
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Richard Bramwell : What did you, uh, go around marrying gorgeous fruitcakes for in the first place?
Carter Harrison : I don't know. It was a cold night. She had an electric blanket.
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Toni Vincente : But Harry's sweet.
Carter Harrison : Sweet? Hah!
Toni Vincente : He's nice to have around. He's big and strong and sweet.
Carter Harrison : So's a sheep dog, but you wouldn't marry one.
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Toni Vincente : But, darling. It's time I had children. And Harry would make a wonderful father.
Carter Harrison : If we weren't such idiots, we would've had children years ago.
Toni Vincente : We weren't ready.
Carter Harrison : We are now, aren't we?
Toni Vincente : Real ready.
Carter Harrison : He'll be beautiful.
Toni Vincente : So will she.
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Toni Vincente : The two men before you were slaughtered in cold blood.
Carter Harrison : I know, poor devils. But don't worry - third time's a charm.
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Carter Harrison : You don't know what kind of a nut I was married to.
Richard Bramwell : No, no, I don't. What kind of a nut was she?
Carter Harrison : She was a half Italian fruitcake, that's what she was.
Richard Bramwell : Oh, that doesn't sound too bad. What was the other half?
Carter Harrison : Gorgeous.
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Toni Vincente : Oh, I could kill you.
Carter Harrison : With what - a slogan?
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Toni Vincente : Petracini happens to be the world's leading expressionist sculptor. He does wonderful things with a blow torch.
Carter Harrison : To whom?
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Carter Harrison : [to Harry] You keep your big nose out of this.
Harry Jones : The same charm. The same sophisticated wit.
Carter Harrison : Oh, butt out!
Harry Jones : And getting sharper all the time.
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Toni Vincente : My father was a martyr to humanity.
Carter Harrison : Some martyr. He got drunk and fell off a wall.
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Carter Harrison : May I borrow your umbrella?
Toni Vincente : Yes.
[as he walks off with the umbrella open, a large painted slogan across it reads, "Save Our Unwed Mothers."]
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Carter Harrison : [to Harry] I'll thank you to keep your food-stained beard out of my affairs... and my eggs.
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Carter Harrison : You may not realize it, but there are other people in this world beside Italians.
Toni Vincente : But who needs them?
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Carter Harrison : If you saw six people waiting in line for a bus you'd join 'em because you thought they were picketing something.
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Carter Harrison : What's wrong with my image? You make it sound like I've just been named leper of the year.
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Carter Harrison : Um, I suppose an artist used to live here.
Toni Vincente : Yes, he was quite famous. He died.
Carter Harrison : Oh, I'm sorry to hear that.
Toni Vincente : He was 98.
Carter Harrison : Oh, well.
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Carter Harrison : [to Toni] I hate to fight and run like this, but I leave happy in the thought that fertility control in backward nations is in such fertile and backward hands.
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Carter Harrison : [Not knowing he's talking to a mortician] It was all my fault, and before I had a chance to explain, she left a note and was gone - just like that.
Assistant Mortician : Well, that's life sir, isn't it? Here one moment, gone the next.
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Richard Bramwell : [Impersonating a U.S. Embassy security officer, brings Carter some protective gear for the dangerous mission he's going on] Oh, and uh, finally, your uh, your uh, LRP
[He hands Carter a large pill]
Carter Harrison : What?
Richard Bramwell : A Last Resort Pill.
Carter Harrison : Last Resort Pill?
Richard Bramwell : Yes - they're marvelous. Absolutely reliable. Quicker than cyanide and only a teensy bit more painful.
Carter Harrison : Do I take it with water?
Richard Bramwell : Oh, no. Never take the water out there - deadly, deadly.
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Richard Bramwell : Boy, you really did marry a nut.
Carter Harrison : A nut? I married a whole plantation.
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Carter Harrison : She'd never leave with me - not with the Lady Godiva thing. She'd suspect something immediately. And that's precisely what that bearded vulture's waiting for.
Richard Bramwell : She wears a beard?
Carter Harrison : No, she doesn't wear a beard. I have other enemies in this thing.
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Carter Harrison : Let me get this straight. You're picketing the American embassy in London in order to keep fig leaves off of lewd Italian horses in Washington, D.C.?
Toni Vincente : It's not the fig leaves, it's the principle.
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Mrs. Stevens : It'll all turn out for the best.
Toni Vincente : You think so, with blackwater fever, poison darts and plague?
Julius L. Stevens : Oh, dear, he has had a time of it, hasn't he?
Toni Vincente : Has had?
Carter Harrison : Um, now dear, we promised we weren't going to mention it again, didn't we? And we really must go.
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Carter Harrison : I must say, she didn't seem very surprised. Does she usually walk in and find strange men in your bed?
Toni Vincente : Every morning. She validates their parking ticket.