There was a time when you could not show nudity in films. And then all of a sudden you could. Who better to use to display this newfound freedom than Jayne Mansfield? So, in Promises! Promises! Mansfield takes off her clothes. Anything else worth saying about the film? Not really. It's a comedy of mishaps and misunderstandings. Unfortunately there is practically nothing that is at all funny in this supposed comedy. How desperate is the film for laughs? Well, there's a female impersonator, a character who is the most wretched thing in the largely wretched film. He does a Jayne Mansfield impersonation. Mansfield's character responds that she does her too. Hilarious, right? No, not at all. The plot, about who exactly is impregnating whom aboard a cruise ship, is rather inane. There's not even enough story to stretch the film out to a proper feature length. The film clocks in at a mere 75 minutes but it seems interminable. In a sign of true desperation Mansfield's brief nude scenes are repeated over and over again in dream sequences or flashbacks. At least the filmmakers were honest with themselves and the audience. They knew people were only coming to see this film for one reason. Well, two reasons to be precise. Mansfield's acting in the film actually isn't half bad. But the story's a dud and the rest of the cast gives Mansfield very little support. As a film Promises! Promises! fails miserably. But nobody cares about its quality as a film, the thing only exists as a vehicle to show off Mansfield's prize assets. In that, if nothing else, it succeeds.
14 Reviews
Tedious titillation that's nonetheless fascinating
melvelvit-111 June 2007
Warning: Spoilers
Producer/writer/star Tommy Noonan's painfully unfunny shipboard sex-farce stars real-life man and wife Jayne Mansfield & Mickey Hargitay, wed to different spouses on screen. Hargitay's the husband of a middle-aged Marie "The Body" McDonald while Jayne plays Noonan's wife. Both women are trying to get pregnant while on a cruise but both men are convinced they're sterile; erection pills, a female impersonator, a paternity mix-up, brief (topless) nudity and a song or two follow before the inevitable happy ending. As the first film to show a "major" Hollywood star cavorting "au naturel", PROMISES! PROMISES! was featured in a much publicized "Playboy" magazine photo-spread, ran into censorship problems and was banned in several states.
It's also known as a "Triple Ess" movie (three suicides) with a rather dark behind-the-scenes history- five people associated with the production died, either violently or by their own hand, in relatively quick succession: Director King Donovan's wife, Ann, died from an overdose of barbiturates; Marie "The Body" McDonald, wife of co-producer Donald Taylor, died from a massive overdose of drugs and alcohol in 1965 and two months later, Taylor himself committed suicide in the same room in which he found Marie; Jayne Mansfield was near-decapitated in a 1967 car crash; Tommy Noonan died after a brain tumor operation in 1968.
"The Body" was also in another "S-S-S" film: Paramount's 1942 proto-noir, LUCKY JORDAN. Marie, star Alan Ladd, and bit player Dorothy Dandridge all killed themselves. "Satan's slave" Jayne Mansfield's sagging flesh aside, PROMISES! PROMISES!, possibly the very first viagra flick, is a darkly fascinating "Hollywood Babylon" trope with the on screen action like a train wreck: absolutely awful but just try to look away! This tasteless, tedious exercise in titillation gets a 10/10 on an enigmatic, indefinable level (just because) but it's reely not very good.
Reviews: "The only excuse for this shabby, sex-propelled contrivance is that obviously there is an audience waiting to devour it... Several glimpses of a bare-breasted Jayne Mansfield and one of her derrière-in-the-buff figure to satisfy the peeping Toms, Dicks and Harrys who frequent those offbeat, anatomical "art" houses where this attraction is apt to be distributed. But beyond the occasional vicarious sensual thrill it affords the ogle-happy denizen of these cinematic flesh palaces, there is nothing in "Promises! Promises!"... Her tape-measure performance can be summed up in the phrase, "thanks for the mammary". -"Variety", 8/7/63
"...its vastly overrated. Miss Mansfield does considerable talking, little acting, and even sings (???) the title tune." -"L.A. Herald Examiner", 8/3/63
It's also known as a "Triple Ess" movie (three suicides) with a rather dark behind-the-scenes history- five people associated with the production died, either violently or by their own hand, in relatively quick succession: Director King Donovan's wife, Ann, died from an overdose of barbiturates; Marie "The Body" McDonald, wife of co-producer Donald Taylor, died from a massive overdose of drugs and alcohol in 1965 and two months later, Taylor himself committed suicide in the same room in which he found Marie; Jayne Mansfield was near-decapitated in a 1967 car crash; Tommy Noonan died after a brain tumor operation in 1968.
"The Body" was also in another "S-S-S" film: Paramount's 1942 proto-noir, LUCKY JORDAN. Marie, star Alan Ladd, and bit player Dorothy Dandridge all killed themselves. "Satan's slave" Jayne Mansfield's sagging flesh aside, PROMISES! PROMISES!, possibly the very first viagra flick, is a darkly fascinating "Hollywood Babylon" trope with the on screen action like a train wreck: absolutely awful but just try to look away! This tasteless, tedious exercise in titillation gets a 10/10 on an enigmatic, indefinable level (just because) but it's reely not very good.
Reviews: "The only excuse for this shabby, sex-propelled contrivance is that obviously there is an audience waiting to devour it... Several glimpses of a bare-breasted Jayne Mansfield and one of her derrière-in-the-buff figure to satisfy the peeping Toms, Dicks and Harrys who frequent those offbeat, anatomical "art" houses where this attraction is apt to be distributed. But beyond the occasional vicarious sensual thrill it affords the ogle-happy denizen of these cinematic flesh palaces, there is nothing in "Promises! Promises!"... Her tape-measure performance can be summed up in the phrase, "thanks for the mammary". -"Variety", 8/7/63
"...its vastly overrated. Miss Mansfield does considerable talking, little acting, and even sings (???) the title tune." -"L.A. Herald Examiner", 8/3/63
Delivers what it promises! promises! but is static and unfunny
gridoon202415 April 2018
This movie is considerate: it delivers what it promises (Jayne Mansfield topless) twice in the first 5 minutes - so you don't really need to bother with the remaining 70. Mansfield has a sensational body indeed (breasts as well as legs), but the film is more static and unfunny that smutty and scandalous. Tommy Noonan's drunken routine gets tiresome fast, T.C. Jones' gay-hairdresser routine is even worse. *1/2 out of 4.
"Jayne Mansfield? Oh, I do her, too!"
TJBNYC27 July 2001
Jayne Mansfield generated some of the most heated publicity of her career (and that's saying a lot!) when she agreed to film nude scenes for the 1963 comedy, "Promises! Promises!" No American star of her magnitude had ever appeared undraped onscreen before, and the controversy led to the picture being banned, court hearings on obscenity, and Mansfield stoically bearing the bad press (and no doubt saving all the headline clippings). Watching the film is a sad, strange experience; the nude scenes have nothing to do with the plot, and were clearly filmed solely for sensation's sake. What it shows is a star badly on the wane, appearing in an extremely low budget production, and selling her body cheap for the resultant publicity. Jayne's two nude scenes come fairly early in the film, which means there's plenty of time left for highly strained, largely unfunny, mostly sex-less antics. The crux of the plot involves two married couples, Jayne/Tommy Noonan and Marie McDonald/Mickey Hargitay, on a cruise together. In a rather lewd plot device, both women end up pregnant, and because of some drunken revelry between the couples (never seen), no one is sure who the father is for which baby. One surreal scene has Jayne attending a shipboard party where female impersonator T.C. Jones does celebrity imitations, one of whom is Jayne Mansfield! In character as "Sandy," Jayne squeals with delight and does HER "imitation" of Jayne Mansfield. Unfortunately, it's the funniest moment in the film. On the brighter side, Jayne looks especially lovely and voluptuous, and, playing it relatively straight for once, doesn't rely too much on high-pitched ooohs and aahhhs. Micky Hargitay (Jayne's real-life husband) looks much too young to be marruied to former 40's pinup girl Marie McDonald, but displays a rather sweet, doltish charm as a Hungarian actor striving to lose his pronounced accent (it must've been a real stretch for him). For the die-hard Jayne Mansfield fan, this is basically a harmless, actionless, sexless sex comedy, and a chance to see the star rather perfunctorily topless. For everyone else, it's a historic curiosity, and nothing more.
Rather smutty, but not all that bad
planktonrules14 October 2008
Warning: Spoilers
This is an early mainstream sex comedy that stands out because it was the first to feature an actress naked (Jayne Mansfield). Had the nudity been necessary for the plot and not just used as a gimmick, this might have been a better movie. Instead, nude shots (often the same one again and again) were placed rather randomly in the film and it made the film seem a bit sloppy and exploitative. In addition, the plot itself is pretty smutty as well--making this a rather adult film. Despite all this, the film isn't as bad as you might guess and I think a few of the reviews were a bit too harsh. While it certainly isn't a great film and the actors are 2nd rate (at best), the film is a decent time-passer provided, of course, you don't let the kids watch.
The plot involves an unlikely married couple on a worldwide cruise, nerdy Tommy Noonan and Jayne Mansfield. Noonan has serious sexual performance anxiety and sees the ship's doctor for help. The doctor realizes that there probably isn't anything anatomically wrong with Tommy and gives him a placebo to give him confidence. I guess most man can empathize--most men would have been intimidated (at least to a degree) by sexy nymphet Mansfield. Later, through some tough to believe coincidences, Noonan believes that his now-pregnant wife was NOT impregnated by him. In addition, a female friend becomes pregnant and it looks like Noonan could be the father.
As you can tell by the description, this is a very adult film--particularly for 1963. The acting is only fair, the plot tough to believe but somehow the total effort comes off....well....okay. Not a great film and not a must-see, but still a film of historical significance.
The plot involves an unlikely married couple on a worldwide cruise, nerdy Tommy Noonan and Jayne Mansfield. Noonan has serious sexual performance anxiety and sees the ship's doctor for help. The doctor realizes that there probably isn't anything anatomically wrong with Tommy and gives him a placebo to give him confidence. I guess most man can empathize--most men would have been intimidated (at least to a degree) by sexy nymphet Mansfield. Later, through some tough to believe coincidences, Noonan believes that his now-pregnant wife was NOT impregnated by him. In addition, a female friend becomes pregnant and it looks like Noonan could be the father.
As you can tell by the description, this is a very adult film--particularly for 1963. The acting is only fair, the plot tough to believe but somehow the total effort comes off....well....okay. Not a great film and not a must-see, but still a film of historical significance.
For Big Boobs Only
ferbs5410 September 2008
The 1963 Jayne Mansfield "comedy" "Promises! Promises!" is best known these days for one thing (well, better make that TWO things!)--it is the film in which Jayne displayed her unfettered rib balloons; the first time a major actress ever did so in a mainstream Hollywood picture. Unfortunately, the film offers pretty much nothing else, and potential viewers would be well advised--no, warned--to bail out after Jayne's initial nude appearance, which happily occurs only three minutes in. During the following 72 minutes, Jayne and her bespectacled hubby, played by the film's co-producer and co-writer, Tommy Noonan, go on a long ocean cruise with their friends, Mickey Hargitay and Marie "The Body" McDonald. Through a set of ridiculous plot contrivances that include placebo drugs, seasickness and lots of liquor, Tommy can't quite figure out how Jayne has suddenly become preggers and just who did the knocking up. Dated, dreary, deadly and dumb (how's that for double D's?), the picture is a real labor to sit through; it is absolutely, consistently and painfully unfunny, and every lame gag falls (you should pardon the expression) absolutely flat. Character actor King Donovan's direction is uninspired, TV legend Imogene Coca goes completely wasted in a teensy role, and female impersonator T.C. Jones is an embarrassment. Strangely, Jayne unclothed does not look nearly as spectacular as Jayne strutting about in formfitting sweaters and gowns in such truly marvelous comedies as "The Girl Can't Help It" (1956) and "Will Success Spoil Rock Hunter?" (1957). I had originally decided to give this film two stars--one for each...well, you know--but cannot give it even that "high" a rating in good conscience. There is no form of entertainment more lethal, for me, than a completely unfunny comedy, and only a big dumb boob would find this one amusing.
Painfully desperate for attention, lacking earnest humor and substance
I_Ailurophile11 February 2023
In a world where the cinematic landscape is regularly changing in many various ways, it's nice to know that there are some constants on which one can rely. One of these is that sex comedies, as a genre, are simply bad. They always have been, and they always will be. They rely on the cheapest and most boorish of gags, jokes, and plots, appealing to the lowest common denominator. They're frankly demeaning to all involved in their creation for how low the participants are made to stoop, the cast not least of all, whose "acting" forfeits all tact, nuance, or meaningful skill. From one picture to the next it's hard to say which is worse, yet there are two reasons 'Promises..... promises!' might be near the bottom of the barrel.
For one thing, set aside the sexual elements here and the movie is defined by sensibilities that feel ripped straight from TV sitcoms of the 1950s. I suppose one could argue that such perfectly charming, perfectly happy-go-lucky, perfectly pleasant ham-handedness could be intended as a send-up of such notions, though even if that's true, this takes the parodying spirit too far and becomes the object of its own intended mockery. Regardless, it's safe to say that the viewing experience is a little taxing as the dialogue, characters, scene writing, narrative, direction, acting, and even the music all seem to embrace pointedly artificial kitsch over meaningful humor or substance. Taxing - and not actually very fun. It's hard to get a real sense of the capabilities of anyone involved when they are all geared toward being as frivolous as possible - and, it seems, lazy and unimaginative.
Secondly, at a time in the film industry before nudity became commonplace, Jayne Mansfield's nude scenes here come off as an extra tawdry, desperate ploy for attention and viewership. A couple of these are pointlessly, shamelessly repeated, multiple times each, in what seems to me to be a tacit admission by the filmmakers that their production had no significant value otherwise, and they needed the boost themselves. I'm no puritan, and I've no objection to sex and nudity in media, but sometimes the inclusion is plainly gratuitous - and here, "gratuitous" is overly generous a description. "Vulgar" and "begging for relevance" seem more appropriate.
It's not that there aren't any good ideas here, but in both the writing and execution they are handled very blithely and even carelessly. The value, and indeed the plot, just kind of get forgotten for the preponderance of the length. This begins with what seems like a firm concept, then just scatters. Factor in all the other facets that are so uninteresting, or even irritating, and one struggles to say this is likable or enjoyable in any capacity. I'm glad for those who get something more out of this feature, and find it entertaining; I regret the 75 minutes I just wasted. Whatever it is you think you'll get out of 'Promises..... promises!' there are much better and more worthwhile ways to get it; just don't bother with this.
For one thing, set aside the sexual elements here and the movie is defined by sensibilities that feel ripped straight from TV sitcoms of the 1950s. I suppose one could argue that such perfectly charming, perfectly happy-go-lucky, perfectly pleasant ham-handedness could be intended as a send-up of such notions, though even if that's true, this takes the parodying spirit too far and becomes the object of its own intended mockery. Regardless, it's safe to say that the viewing experience is a little taxing as the dialogue, characters, scene writing, narrative, direction, acting, and even the music all seem to embrace pointedly artificial kitsch over meaningful humor or substance. Taxing - and not actually very fun. It's hard to get a real sense of the capabilities of anyone involved when they are all geared toward being as frivolous as possible - and, it seems, lazy and unimaginative.
Secondly, at a time in the film industry before nudity became commonplace, Jayne Mansfield's nude scenes here come off as an extra tawdry, desperate ploy for attention and viewership. A couple of these are pointlessly, shamelessly repeated, multiple times each, in what seems to me to be a tacit admission by the filmmakers that their production had no significant value otherwise, and they needed the boost themselves. I'm no puritan, and I've no objection to sex and nudity in media, but sometimes the inclusion is plainly gratuitous - and here, "gratuitous" is overly generous a description. "Vulgar" and "begging for relevance" seem more appropriate.
It's not that there aren't any good ideas here, but in both the writing and execution they are handled very blithely and even carelessly. The value, and indeed the plot, just kind of get forgotten for the preponderance of the length. This begins with what seems like a firm concept, then just scatters. Factor in all the other facets that are so uninteresting, or even irritating, and one struggles to say this is likable or enjoyable in any capacity. I'm glad for those who get something more out of this feature, and find it entertaining; I regret the 75 minutes I just wasted. Whatever it is you think you'll get out of 'Promises..... promises!' there are much better and more worthwhile ways to get it; just don't bother with this.
It felt out-of-place for the period and that whole innocent sitcom world- so out of place, as to seem freakish!
MyMovieTVRomance26 October 2021
I liked this a lot, but would've liked it a lot more without the topless/nudity scenes. Don't get me wrong, I am no prude when it comes to sex and nudity in film, depending on the type of film it is and when it was made. And yes, I know this was the first of its kind- but I personally feel it came a little early.
This film is like a 1950s-60s sitcom episode, made into a movie. It feels innocent and clean, the way "Leave It To Beaver" or "I Love Lucy" did. So, to see such nudity in this sort of film was a real turn-off for me, as it just didn't feel right. It felt out-of-place for the period and that whole innocent sitcom world- so out of place, as to seem freakish- and it was only from the belly up nudity! There was no sex scene, but certainly enough allusion to sex in this- to the point of being rather shocking!
So yeah, would have liked this film handled in the more old-Hollywood way, where she would have been covered by a towel, and the sex subject was less obvious. That being said, I still can't help but to like it but in a very mixed-feelings way.
This film is like a 1950s-60s sitcom episode, made into a movie. It feels innocent and clean, the way "Leave It To Beaver" or "I Love Lucy" did. So, to see such nudity in this sort of film was a real turn-off for me, as it just didn't feel right. It felt out-of-place for the period and that whole innocent sitcom world- so out of place, as to seem freakish- and it was only from the belly up nudity! There was no sex scene, but certainly enough allusion to sex in this- to the point of being rather shocking!
So yeah, would have liked this film handled in the more old-Hollywood way, where she would have been covered by a towel, and the sex subject was less obvious. That being said, I still can't help but to like it but in a very mixed-feelings way.
Poor Jayne
tday-118 July 2007
Warning: Spoilers
For someone with such a sunny personality,it's odd Jayne showed up in this low-budget lamebrain outing. Jayne showing her all was the main selling point of this opus. The picture is cheap looking and in grainy black and white,hardly the vehicle for the golden girl of the fifties. The story,such as it is,moves along very dully and proves boobs and Jayne do not a picture make. Certainly Jayne could handle comedy and one wonders how this might have been in more skilled hands. Supposedly Jayne required a whole bottle of champagne before she'd doff her clothes. The notorioty of the film gave Jayne a lot of unsavory publicity and probably ended her career in mainline movies.
Oh Jayne
BandSAboutMovies9 August 2020
Warning: Spoilers
This 1963 movie - released between the end of the Hays Code ad the start of the MPAA rating system - was the first Hollywood motion picture release in decades to feature a mainstream star nude. And that star was Jayne Mansfield, bearing Marilyn Monroe in the buff in 1962's uncompleted Something's Got to Give.
In case anyone asks you, the first mainstream star to go fully nude was Annette Kellerman in 1916's A Daughter of the Gods.
The three nude scenes by Mansfield were scandalous. Even more so was the July 1963 issue of Playboy, which was the only obscenity charge every brought against Hugh Hefner. In that issue a pictorial entitled "The Nudest Jayne Mansfield" showed Mansfield topless alongside T.C. Jones, a hairstylist, actor and one of the most famous female impersonators under his stage name Babette.
All the press made the movie a big deal, despite the horrible reviews. Sadly, Mansfield only got offers for more sex comedies. While you could buy stag loops of her scenes in the 60's, the same scenes would show up in the posthumous The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, which also has scenes from Too Hot to Handle, The Loves of Hercules and Primitive Love.
Mansfield was voted one of the top ten box office attractions that year, but Roger Ebert took her to task: "Finally, in Promises, Promises she did what no Hollywood actress ever does except in desperation: she made a nudie. By 1963, that kind of box office appeal was about all she had left." Of course, this practice is commonplace today.
So what's it all about? Jayne plays Sandy Brooks, a woman dying to get knocked uo yet with a husband played by Tommy Noonan, who produced this and warred with his co-star. In the movie, he's too stressed out to make love to her, which sounds like a problem no man ever had next to Ms. Mansfield. Meanwhile, after meeting another couple, Claire and King Banner. Claire is played by Marie "The Body" McDonald, who had perhaps an even crazier life than Mansfield, starting as winning the title of The Queen of Coney Island before adding up six marriages, an alleged kidnapping that was never proved to have taken place and a death from an "active drug intoxication due to multiple drugs." In the aftermath, her husband and father would commit suicide and her children would be raised by third husband (they were married twice, too) Harry Karl and his wife, Debbie Reynolds, who knew something about infamous divorces. She took over the role from Mamie Van Doren. King is played by Mansfield's husband at the time, Mickey Hargitay.
The couples end up swapping - this had to be scandalous for 1963 - ends up with both women pregnant and unsure who the daddy (or daddies, I guess) are. In between that, Mansfeld sings two songs, "Lullaby of Love" and "Promise Her Anything."
This movie wasn't an adult film. It was a major studio picture, directed by King Donovan (husband of Imogene Coca), who beyond acting in Invasion of the Body Snatchers also directed this movie and four episodes of Grind! and one of That Girl. Vidor shows up in plenty of things, with his last role in the 1984 cult movie Nothing Lasts Forever.
In case anyone asks you, the first mainstream star to go fully nude was Annette Kellerman in 1916's A Daughter of the Gods.
The three nude scenes by Mansfield were scandalous. Even more so was the July 1963 issue of Playboy, which was the only obscenity charge every brought against Hugh Hefner. In that issue a pictorial entitled "The Nudest Jayne Mansfield" showed Mansfield topless alongside T.C. Jones, a hairstylist, actor and one of the most famous female impersonators under his stage name Babette.
All the press made the movie a big deal, despite the horrible reviews. Sadly, Mansfield only got offers for more sex comedies. While you could buy stag loops of her scenes in the 60's, the same scenes would show up in the posthumous The Wild, Wild World of Jayne Mansfield, which also has scenes from Too Hot to Handle, The Loves of Hercules and Primitive Love.
Mansfield was voted one of the top ten box office attractions that year, but Roger Ebert took her to task: "Finally, in Promises, Promises she did what no Hollywood actress ever does except in desperation: she made a nudie. By 1963, that kind of box office appeal was about all she had left." Of course, this practice is commonplace today.
So what's it all about? Jayne plays Sandy Brooks, a woman dying to get knocked uo yet with a husband played by Tommy Noonan, who produced this and warred with his co-star. In the movie, he's too stressed out to make love to her, which sounds like a problem no man ever had next to Ms. Mansfield. Meanwhile, after meeting another couple, Claire and King Banner. Claire is played by Marie "The Body" McDonald, who had perhaps an even crazier life than Mansfield, starting as winning the title of The Queen of Coney Island before adding up six marriages, an alleged kidnapping that was never proved to have taken place and a death from an "active drug intoxication due to multiple drugs." In the aftermath, her husband and father would commit suicide and her children would be raised by third husband (they were married twice, too) Harry Karl and his wife, Debbie Reynolds, who knew something about infamous divorces. She took over the role from Mamie Van Doren. King is played by Mansfield's husband at the time, Mickey Hargitay.
The couples end up swapping - this had to be scandalous for 1963 - ends up with both women pregnant and unsure who the daddy (or daddies, I guess) are. In between that, Mansfeld sings two songs, "Lullaby of Love" and "Promise Her Anything."
This movie wasn't an adult film. It was a major studio picture, directed by King Donovan (husband of Imogene Coca), who beyond acting in Invasion of the Body Snatchers also directed this movie and four episodes of Grind! and one of That Girl. Vidor shows up in plenty of things, with his last role in the 1984 cult movie Nothing Lasts Forever.
Too hot to handle!
gnb7 May 2006
Warning: Spoilers
Promises! Promises! is probably most famous these days for the legendary nude sequences of voluptuous Jayne Mansfield which were featured in a sell-out Playboy spread and resulted in the movie being banned in several US cities.
However, there's much more to recommend the film than the brief glimpses we get of JM's famed knockers. And if you think this film is slapped together rubbish with nothing worth watching besides Mansfield writhing around in the bath...then you'd be wrong! Belying its B-movie roots, PP is actually very well put together with a nice little plot and a good cast who seem to be enjoying every minute of making the movie. Tommy Noonan, as usual, is pleasantly geeky, Marie McDonald manages to pull off sexy and sarcastic without coming over as a bitch and even Mr Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, is convincing in his role as McDonald's husband.
And then there is Jayne. Despite this being yet another "dumb blonde" role for Mansfield, she is very good in this movie. Once her now famous nude scenes are out of the way we can concentrate on her performance and she really is very good in this. And naturally, she looks so good you could eat her up. And, true to her nature, she even manages to poke fun at herself and her image by having her character, Sandy, do an impression of Jayne Mansfield with comedian T.C. Jones.
This film has been re-released on remastered DVD and is well-worth a look. It's sexy, saucy and of course has the added bonus of showcasing ALL of Jayne Mansfield's "talents"...but there really is much more to enjoy here.
Catch it if you can!
However, there's much more to recommend the film than the brief glimpses we get of JM's famed knockers. And if you think this film is slapped together rubbish with nothing worth watching besides Mansfield writhing around in the bath...then you'd be wrong! Belying its B-movie roots, PP is actually very well put together with a nice little plot and a good cast who seem to be enjoying every minute of making the movie. Tommy Noonan, as usual, is pleasantly geeky, Marie McDonald manages to pull off sexy and sarcastic without coming over as a bitch and even Mr Jayne Mansfield, Mickey Hargitay, is convincing in his role as McDonald's husband.
And then there is Jayne. Despite this being yet another "dumb blonde" role for Mansfield, she is very good in this movie. Once her now famous nude scenes are out of the way we can concentrate on her performance and she really is very good in this. And naturally, she looks so good you could eat her up. And, true to her nature, she even manages to poke fun at herself and her image by having her character, Sandy, do an impression of Jayne Mansfield with comedian T.C. Jones.
This film has been re-released on remastered DVD and is well-worth a look. It's sexy, saucy and of course has the added bonus of showcasing ALL of Jayne Mansfield's "talents"...but there really is much more to enjoy here.
Catch it if you can!
Jayne Mansfield is nude! 'Nuff said!
skad1314 August 1999
Terrible, terrible comedy. But if I were rating it, I'd give it 1 star for the script, photography, and performances, and 10 for the display of Ms. Mansfield's ample attributes. I think this is why they invented the fast-forward button
The Two and Only Jayne Mansfield
HarlowMGM29 July 2012
PROMISES! PROMISES! has two reputations - one as a notorious film, being the first film in which a famed Hollywood star appeared nude (heavily hyped in Playboy magazine at the time) and the other as a bad film. It's "notorious" edge is merely historical - today it simply resembles an R-rated LOVE BOAT episode with a little bit of nudity from it's star lady Jayne Mansfield who literally drops her towel and reveals her famous breasts (as well as another scene which shows the butt that once famously bopped down the street to tune "The Girl Can't Help it"). It's bad reputation is not really deserved. While no classic, it's an pleasing time filler with enjoyable performances from both it's main cast and several notable character actors.
The parallels between the film and GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES are remarkably strong. Like Blondes, the film is set on an ocean liner, and has Tommy Noonan as it's leading man. Marie McDonald plays Jayne's caustic pal with an delivery that strongly suggests Jane Russell's performance in the Marilyn Monroe film.
Jayne and husband Tommy Noonan have been married for four years but have been unable to have children. This cruise ship vacation is apparently an attempt to put some spice into their love lives. Travelling with them are best friends, Marie McDonald and Mickey Hargitay, another childless married couple. Hargitay is a vain, health-obsessed movie star who apparently makes Hercules type pictures.
Neurotic (and apparently impotent) Tommy keeps running to ship doctor Fritz Field for help. Field gives Noonan tablets that are actually aspirins suggesting they are some sort of vintage equivalent to Viagra. The "pills" do the trick but Field's elaborate stories about them (suggesting they may have temporary amnesia as a side effect) wreak havoc on the neurotic Noonan's emotions after Mansfield, Hargitay, and McDonald all (accidentally) digest them as well.
This "independent" film has some very good production values despite allegations that it's a "low budget" film; there is superb editing in several scenes in which we see private moments in the Noonan, Mansfield/Hargitay, McDonald cabins which we see via split screen shots as they have concurrent private moments, often mirroring the other with similar or duplicate dialog and action, some it spoken at the same time. The film's score is surprisingly good and very much evokes the image of an "adult" albeit mainstream sex comedy of the 1960's.
Jayne looks sensational and has a charmingly sweet presence here like in her 1950's 20th Century-Fox glory days, qualities regrettably somewhat sidetracked in most of the dreary pot boilers she ended up making for most of the 1960's. I do wish though the script had played more on her considerable comic gifts. Tommy Noonan is very good as her emotional mess of a husband, I actually think his performance here is better than his more famous one in BLONDES. Marie McDonald is quite good as the jaded confidante. Character comic Fritz Field, whose film career spanned 1915 to 1989, is terrific as the doctor and there's a hilarious running bit character played by the plump, sixtyish character actress Marjorie Bennett (a very familiar face for her cheery roles in scores of TV episodes) as a rich old gal who has got herself a young Italian gigolo. The now forgotten T.C. Jones, one of the first widely famous female impersonators, is fun as the ship's hair stylist in perhaps the most blatantly "gay role" then seen in American films, a sassy pal to Jayne who is the lone male attending her baby shower where he amuses the girls with his impressions of Tallulah Bankhead and Bette Davis. Legendary TV comedienne Imogene Coca makes an amusing gag cameo (the film's director was her husband, King Donovan) as one of Jones' more unfortunate hair clients.
This is one of those movies were it's bad reputation gets in the way of people reevaluating it and giving it a fair appraisal. PROMISES! PROMISES! will never be a threat to Jayne's best films, the Frank Tashlin movies THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT and WILL SUCCESS SPOIL ROCK HUNTER? but it is entertaining and actually succeeds at it's most goal of being an amusing light sex comedy.
The parallels between the film and GENTLEMEN PREFER BLONDES are remarkably strong. Like Blondes, the film is set on an ocean liner, and has Tommy Noonan as it's leading man. Marie McDonald plays Jayne's caustic pal with an delivery that strongly suggests Jane Russell's performance in the Marilyn Monroe film.
Jayne and husband Tommy Noonan have been married for four years but have been unable to have children. This cruise ship vacation is apparently an attempt to put some spice into their love lives. Travelling with them are best friends, Marie McDonald and Mickey Hargitay, another childless married couple. Hargitay is a vain, health-obsessed movie star who apparently makes Hercules type pictures.
Neurotic (and apparently impotent) Tommy keeps running to ship doctor Fritz Field for help. Field gives Noonan tablets that are actually aspirins suggesting they are some sort of vintage equivalent to Viagra. The "pills" do the trick but Field's elaborate stories about them (suggesting they may have temporary amnesia as a side effect) wreak havoc on the neurotic Noonan's emotions after Mansfield, Hargitay, and McDonald all (accidentally) digest them as well.
This "independent" film has some very good production values despite allegations that it's a "low budget" film; there is superb editing in several scenes in which we see private moments in the Noonan, Mansfield/Hargitay, McDonald cabins which we see via split screen shots as they have concurrent private moments, often mirroring the other with similar or duplicate dialog and action, some it spoken at the same time. The film's score is surprisingly good and very much evokes the image of an "adult" albeit mainstream sex comedy of the 1960's.
Jayne looks sensational and has a charmingly sweet presence here like in her 1950's 20th Century-Fox glory days, qualities regrettably somewhat sidetracked in most of the dreary pot boilers she ended up making for most of the 1960's. I do wish though the script had played more on her considerable comic gifts. Tommy Noonan is very good as her emotional mess of a husband, I actually think his performance here is better than his more famous one in BLONDES. Marie McDonald is quite good as the jaded confidante. Character comic Fritz Field, whose film career spanned 1915 to 1989, is terrific as the doctor and there's a hilarious running bit character played by the plump, sixtyish character actress Marjorie Bennett (a very familiar face for her cheery roles in scores of TV episodes) as a rich old gal who has got herself a young Italian gigolo. The now forgotten T.C. Jones, one of the first widely famous female impersonators, is fun as the ship's hair stylist in perhaps the most blatantly "gay role" then seen in American films, a sassy pal to Jayne who is the lone male attending her baby shower where he amuses the girls with his impressions of Tallulah Bankhead and Bette Davis. Legendary TV comedienne Imogene Coca makes an amusing gag cameo (the film's director was her husband, King Donovan) as one of Jones' more unfortunate hair clients.
This is one of those movies were it's bad reputation gets in the way of people reevaluating it and giving it a fair appraisal. PROMISES! PROMISES! will never be a threat to Jayne's best films, the Frank Tashlin movies THE GIRL CAN'T HELP IT and WILL SUCCESS SPOIL ROCK HUNTER? but it is entertaining and actually succeeds at it's most goal of being an amusing light sex comedy.
Even the Worst Films Have One Good Thing....This One Has Two
Michael_Elliott8 March 2012
Promises.... Promises! (1963)
* 1/2 (out of 4)
There's no question that the story, acting, directing and production is one of the worst ever made but are you really coming to this film for any of that? PROMISES....PROMISES! is a landmark movie because it was the first one in history to feature a major Hollywood star nude. That honor goes to Jayne Mansfield who right around the four minute mark shows off her breasts in a bubble bath and within minutes we're introduced to two other nude scenes. This is really a hard movie to judge because there's no question that it's poorly made, dreadfully dull and lifeless but at the same time it's still quite shocking to see an actress from this era appearing nude. It's not like this is some smut film featuring an unknown woman as these have been around since the earliest days of cinema. No, this here was a well-known star taking off her clothes and the first scene in the bath is actually quite sexual so God knows what people thought back when this was first released. From its historic stance, this here is a must see. Mansfield appears in three different nude scenes and these are replayed throughout the movie. What shocked me the most is that the producers didn't hold the nudity until later in the movie and instead we get our first glimpse at the four minute mark and two other scenes shortly after. Usually bad movies with "one" gimmick hold off on the prize but I give the filmmakers credit for not messing around and actually giving people what they wanted. The nude scenes serve no real purpose to the story but it's Mansfield. The performances by the four leads are all pretty bad and especially Tommy Noonan who plays Mansfield's husband. His performance as a drunk is one of the worst I've ever seen but Mickey Hargitay (Manfield's real husband) wasn't much better. Mansfield doesn't seem to be too happy during any of the scenes as she doesn't give much of a performance. PROMISES..... PROMISES! is a bad movie and there's no doubt about that but at the same time it's a must see.
* 1/2 (out of 4)
There's no question that the story, acting, directing and production is one of the worst ever made but are you really coming to this film for any of that? PROMISES....PROMISES! is a landmark movie because it was the first one in history to feature a major Hollywood star nude. That honor goes to Jayne Mansfield who right around the four minute mark shows off her breasts in a bubble bath and within minutes we're introduced to two other nude scenes. This is really a hard movie to judge because there's no question that it's poorly made, dreadfully dull and lifeless but at the same time it's still quite shocking to see an actress from this era appearing nude. It's not like this is some smut film featuring an unknown woman as these have been around since the earliest days of cinema. No, this here was a well-known star taking off her clothes and the first scene in the bath is actually quite sexual so God knows what people thought back when this was first released. From its historic stance, this here is a must see. Mansfield appears in three different nude scenes and these are replayed throughout the movie. What shocked me the most is that the producers didn't hold the nudity until later in the movie and instead we get our first glimpse at the four minute mark and two other scenes shortly after. Usually bad movies with "one" gimmick hold off on the prize but I give the filmmakers credit for not messing around and actually giving people what they wanted. The nude scenes serve no real purpose to the story but it's Mansfield. The performances by the four leads are all pretty bad and especially Tommy Noonan who plays Mansfield's husband. His performance as a drunk is one of the worst I've ever seen but Mickey Hargitay (Manfield's real husband) wasn't much better. Mansfield doesn't seem to be too happy during any of the scenes as she doesn't give much of a performance. PROMISES..... PROMISES! is a bad movie and there's no doubt about that but at the same time it's a must see.
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