- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: [he has brought her a rose] It's one of those artificial ones.
- Toni Denham: It's still very nice.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: I didn't know it was artificial when I stole it from the hotel lobby.
- Lt. Peter Langley: Have you done something I don't know about?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: I haven't even done anything I don't know about.
- Toni Denham: [to Lt. Langley, who like her is heir to a business fortune] I'm cans, you're beef. Together we're canned beef.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: Don't tell me you believe in the recruiting posters.
- Lt. Peter Langley: Oh, absolutely.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: That's funny. I must have missed the one that guaranteed a girl in every port.
- Lt. Peter Langley: But, well, surely, you don't think that's the reason I joined the Navy?
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: Isn't it? I heard that the minute you hit the shore, you became a one man Marshall Plan.
- Toni Denham: I know the Assistant Navigation Officer on the Matelin. He could lose a battleship in a bathtub.
- Liz Bradville: Pete Langley?
- Toni Denham: My fiancé.
- Liz Bradville: Well, congratulations! When's it going to be?
- Toni Denham: Well, I have to agree with both our families that the sooner we merge the better. From a business viewpoint, of course.
- Liz Bradville: Sounds romantic.
- Toni Denham: The result of our union will be Denham-Langley Consolidated, one of the biggest meat canning combines in the State of Illinois.
- Toni Denham: Think of the gas we won't have to buy. Say, at dollar a gallon - about three dollars and sixty cents.
- Toni Denham: You'd think they'd have a machine for this sort of thing.
- Bonnie Pulaski: They have. Us.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Who needs 'em. As a matter of fact, Smitty, I've been thinking. There's nothing in Naval regulations that says we have to spend our liberty chasin' girls.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: What have you got in mind?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Well, we could - well, we could go see some statues, visit museums, see some cathedrals, soak up a little culture for a change.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: And just forget about girls?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Exactly.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: What if we get to one of these museums and see a couple of dames?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: We ignore 'em.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: What are your plans for shore leave?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Well, sir, Lt. Langley and I have decided to spend our time studying Italian architecture.
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: That's one of putting it.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Mademoiselle, you say?
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: That's right, Lieutenant. And I understand the Mademoiselle is quite a dish.
- Michele Perrier: What are you making?
- Lt. Peter Langley: [mixing drinks] Torpedoes. Positively guaranteed to put hair on your - I mean, to, make a man out of you. No, that isn't quite right either, because, who would want to make a man out of you? Well, now, that's the rum. Let's see.
- Michele Perrier: Oh! Marchino cherry?
- Lt. Peter Langley: Very good.
- Radarman Billy Pulaski: I wanted our marriage to get off to the right start.
- Bonnie Pulaski: I'm not so sure I want to start what I came all this way to start.
- Bonnie Pulaski: I did a few dates for the band.
- Radarman Billy Pulaski: Oh, for cryin' out loud, the minute I let you alone: nightclubs! Hangin' around with a bunch of hipsters!
- Lt. Cmdr. Ben Bradville: Tonight we're going to have us a real wing ding celebration. Just the two of us! The works!
- Michele Perrier: This shouldn't take long, I think.
- Lt. Peter Langley: Well, honey, let's not rush right into anything. First we'll have something to eat, a drink, a few laughs and that way we'll get to know each other a little better.
- Michele Perrier: You would feel more kindly disposed to Michele if she has something to eat and drink before we get down to business?
- Lt. Peter Langley: More kindly disposed - honey, if I felt any more kindly disposed, I'd - but, I also like a girl who enjoys all the basic things of life - like eating, drinking.
- Michele Perrier: Then, I will eat and drink.
- Toni Denham: I'm still under sedation from that Torpedo.
- [looking at Smitty's watch]
- Toni Denham: Is this thing right?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Yep. 9:15.
- Toni Denham: When did you last see Pete?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: A couple of hours ago. What about Michele?
- Toni Denham: Hmmm. Well, let's see now, I feel asleep, well, let's face it, I passed right out about 7 o'clock. And then I woke up - I came to, about 8 o'clock. And she wasn't there.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Bachelors have parties before they get married. I don't see any reason why a girl can't - hey, what would you - what would you call a female bachelor?
- Toni Denham: Toni.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Yeah, Toni.
- Toni Denham: You know, I hope you never decide to put this thing on the open market. Although, I must admit it is - rather effective.
- Michele Perrier: Now, you feel kindly disposed toward me?
- Lt. Peter Langley: Honey, I've been having the most beautiful thoughts about you for the last half hour.
- Michele Perrier: Good. Then, that will make what is to follow - much more pleasant.
- Lt. Peter Langley: Well, what are we waiting for? Shall we adjourn to the scene of operation? Now, just lie back. There. Comfortable?
- [Michele nods yes]
- Lt. Peter Langley: Well, as you so charmingly put it, shall we get down to business?
- Michele Perrier: I never seen a round bed before.
- Lt. Peter Langley: Well, wouldn't you like to stay and, sort of, look at it for a little while?
- Toni Denham: [kiss] Tell me I'm out of my mind.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: You're out of your mind.
- Toni Denham: What?
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: The Navy just doesn't like its personnel to overstay liberty.
- Toni Denham: Well, I guess it's time to put the Genie back. Hmm?
- Toni Denham: This Genie isn't going to fit in here.
- Lt. Wadsworth 'Smitty' Smith: Deflate.
- Toni Denham: How?
- Bonnie Pulaski: I've had enough of your temper, Pulaski. Get your big, blue feet outta here and take your hands off me too!