Lover Come Back (1961)
Doris Day: Carol Templeton
Photos
Quotes
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Jerry Webster : Okay, so I've sewn a few wild oats.
Carol Templeton : A few? You could qualify for a farm loan!
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Carol Templeton : Yesterday at the beat you kissed me and I was thrilled!
Jerry Webster : A kiss? What does that prove? It's like finding out you can light a stove. It still doesn't make you a cook.
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Carol Templeton : Doctor, there's so much I can learn from you.
Jerry Webster : As my father, the philosopher, used to say, "Knock at my door and I shall take you in."
Carol Templeton : Dr. Tyler, I'm knocking.
Jerry Webster : Miss Templeton, I'm taking you in.
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Jerry Webster : [Jerry's boss - and friend - Pete - is making him ring Carol Templeton to apologise - and hopefully have her withdraw her complaint to the Advertising Council] Carol Templeton, please, Jerry Webster calling.
[Speaking to the operator]
Jerry Webster : Ramsey & Son.
Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Assure her of our high moral character
Carol Templeton : [Split-screen, à la Pillow Talk] Yes, Mr. Webster?
Jerry Webster : Mr. Ramsey, here, tells me that you spoke to him, and I'd like to,ask you a favour; will you kindly keep,your big, fat nose out of my business?
[Pete starts getting furious, yelling in a strangled voice 'no, no,' at Jerry, who ignores him]
Jerry Webster : If the competition's too tough, get out of the advertising profession.
[Pete's got his hands in his face]
Carol Templeton : YOU aren't even IN the advertising profession, and if I weren't a lady, I'd tell you what profession you ARE in.
Jerry Webster : Tell me, anyway
Carol Templeton : [Thinking she's got the upper-hand, tries to talk 'down' to Jerry] Well, let me put it this way; I don't use sex to land an account.
Jerry Webster : When do you use it
Carol Templeton : I don't.
Jerry Webster : My condolences to your husband
Carol Templeton : [Carol's eyes narrow, and she's seething with anger as she speaks] I'm NOT married.
Jerry Webster : That figures.
Carol Templeton : What, what do you mean, 'that figures'?
Jerry Webster : Well, a husband would be competition. There's only room for one man in the family.
Carol Templeton : [Carol's steaming, and trying to stay calm] Oooh! Let me tell,you,something, Mr. Webster; I wish I were a man, right now,
Jerry Webster : [Goading Carol] Keep trying, I think you'll make it.
[Carole looks at the phone's receiver, and hangs it up, forcefully]
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Carol Templeton : Mmm. This isn't bad, either. But what color's that floor?
Leonard : Lilac.
Carol Templeton : Lilac? Leonard, who has a lilac floor in their kitchen?
Leonard : I have.
Carol Templeton : Oh. Well, Leonard, everyone isn't as artistic as you are. We have to sell this wax to ordinary, everyday people.
Leonard : Ugh, them.
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Jerry Webster : You're going up there to have my baby. My son, and I'm...
Carol Templeton : It's my baby and I'll have what I like. And I've decided I'm having a girl.
Jerry Webster : Have whatever you like. I love you both. Now will you marry me?
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Carol Templeton : You listen to me, no alcoholic beverage, no drug known to science, no torture yet devised could induce me to stay married to you!
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Jerry Webster : I've only seen him a dozen or so times.
Carol Templeton : Well, what's your opinion?
Jerry Webster : I prefer to reserve judgment till I see him sober.
Carol Templeton : Oh! Doesn't that tell you what he is?
Jerry Webster : Miss Templeton, as my uncle, the missionary, used to say, "If thou canst not speak well of a man, speak not at all."
Carol Templeton : You make me feel ashamed of myself.
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Carol Templeton : [Carol realizes the problem with the product is its packaging, and has to convince Leonard and Millie how important it is to stay late and finish working on it] Believe me, the agency that lands this account is the one that shows Mr. Miller the most attractive can.
[Carol picks up a can of wax and the next scene is a line of dancing 'rabbit-girls' derierres]
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Carol Templeton : Think he'll like it?
Millie, Carol's Secretary : Well if he doesn't, he's been taking the wrong kind of chemicals.
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Millie, Carol's Secretary : That means liquor, wild parties, getting the sponsor girls, right?
Carol Templeton : Right.
Millie, Carol's Secretary : Good. I'd like to volunteer for front line duty.
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Jerry Webster : [Still posing as Linus Tyler] You know, it's a funny thing about you two. You claim he's oversexed, and he claims you're...
Carol Templeton : I'm what?
Jerry Webster : I'd rather not tell ya.
Carol Templeton : Well, I'm not undersexed.
Jerry Webster : I'm sure you're not.
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Jerry Webster : Mrs. Jerry Webster.
Carol Templeton : Don't you ever call me a name like that again.
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Carol Templeton : Mr. Brackett. There are two ways to handle a cold. You can fight it, or you can give in and go to bed with it. I intend to fight it.
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Carol Templeton : Gentlemen, if we're through admiring Mr. Webster's trophies, I'd like to ask Miss Davis to tell us about that wild party he threw last night.
Rebel Davis : You mean, the revival meetin'?
Northcross, Ad Council Chairman : Mr. Webster held a revival?
Carol Templeton : Revival is right! Everyone there had to be revived.
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Magnuson, Ad Council Member : Miss Davis, do you know where Mr. Webster is?
Rebel Davis : Why yes. He's at the Red Cross donatin' his blood.
Carol Templeton : Oh, well, that does it. They wouldn't take his blood - it's 86 proof. And, why would he be there at this particular moment.
Rebel Davis : Why, that's where he's meetin' with his Boy Scout troop.
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Carol Templeton : The top of the Chrysler Building is not Inspiration Point.
Rebel Davis : Why, it is to Mr. Webster. It looks down on Madison Avenue.
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Carol Templeton : I'd like my body sent back to the agency.
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Jerry Webster : [Posing as Dr. Linus Tyler] Will you swear never to repeat what I'm about to tell you?
Carol Templeton : I swear.
Jerry Webster : Central Intelligence refers to my cousin as the "human satellite."
Carol Templeton : You mean?
Jerry Webster : Yes. He was launched from Cape Canaveral four days ago. Every 97 minutes Maurice passes over this supper club.
[Carol looks up with her mouth open in awe]
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Carol Templeton : They strip.
Jerry Webster : [Posing as Dr. Linus Tyler] Say, I think that's the word he used.
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Jerry Webster : [Still posing as Linus Tyler] I was so dizzy from that cigarette he gave me.
Carol Templeton : What kind of cigarette?
Jerry Webster : I don't know. It didn't have any printing on it.
Carol Templeton : Oh, Linus! Oh, that depraved monster. Ohhhhh!
[Angry]
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Carol Templeton : [Speaking to Webster who is posing as Dr. Linus Tyler] Linus, I know a place where Webster wouldn't find you.
Jerry Webster : Really? Where?
Carol Templeton : Right here. In that guest room.
Jerry Webster : In your apartment? Alone with you? All night?
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Carol Templeton : Oh, Linus. We're adults.
Jerry Webster : [Posing as Dr. Linus Tyler] Yes, but...
Carol Templeton : Now, look at it calmly and sensibly. You won't be disturbed. Right?
Jerry Webster : Right.
Carol Templeton : You can concentrate on what you want to do.
Jerry Webster : Well, that's true.
Carol Templeton : Well then, for what you had in mind, isn't this the best place?
Jerry Webster : [With a big sheepish smile on his face] Yes, I guess it is.
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Carol Templeton : Oh, I'm your wife. Ooooohh, This is horrible. I'm Ruined. Ruined.
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Jerry Webster : Now, honey. You're starting our marriage off with a fight.
Carol Templeton : Oh no, I'm not. I'm starting it off with an annulment.
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Jerry Webster : Forgot you? I sent you hundreds of letters. I wrote one every day for eight months.
Carol Templeton : And the ninth month, when I needed you most, not a word.
Jerry Webster : I didn't know what was happening. You sent back every letter unopened.
Carol Templeton : If you loved me, you'd have kept on writing.
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Carol Templeton : I always wanted a church wedding.
Jerry Webster : The next baby, we'll have a church wedding.
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Carol Templeton : Do you think you'd enjoy watching a girl undress?
Jerry Webster : I don't know. But I'm willing to give it a try.
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Jerry Webster : So I sewed a few wild oats...
Carol Templeton : A few? You could qualify for a Farm Loan!
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Jerry Webster : Y'know, it just doesn't seem right in letting a woman pay for everything.
Carol Templeton : Well, you're not exactly an ordinary man.