The Dick Van Dyke Show (1961–1966)
Dick Van Dyke: Rob Petrie, Hezekiah Petrie
Photos
Quotes
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Rob Petrie : [Sally, Buddy, Rob and Laura are staying in a haunted cabin, all four are in the same bed because they are scared of the ghost] It's been over two hours and nothing strange or unusual has happened.
Sally Rogers : Oh, really? What do you call four grown people sleeping in the same bed with their clothes on?
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Laura Petrie : You wanna end up another Dwight Heatherton, go ahead!
Rob Petrie : Who's that?
Laura Petrie : Dwight Heatheron happens to be an excellent writer who is unknown because he gets no publicity.
Rob Petrie : Then how do you know him?
Laura Petrie : Oh Rob, he's *famous*.
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[Laura just admitted that she told a TV audience Alan Brady is bald]
Rob Petrie : Well did you know it was a secret?
Laura Petrie : Yes.
Rob Petrie : Oh sure, what's the fun of telling something if it's not a secret?
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Rob Petrie : At least I'll prove one thing tonight: Television writers marry the prettiest girls.
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Sally Rogers : What's the matter Rob?
Rob Petrie : Oh, he got on the elevator and I busted my leg on a lady.
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Rob Petrie : I want to take a nap before I go to sleep.
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Laura Petrie : Rob, Millie has something to tell you.
Rob Petrie : If it'll make me happy, tell me, but if it won't don't say it because I am on the brink!
Millie Helper : Oh, Rob, I'm so sorry and you never have to speak to me again!
[Starts to cry]
Rob Petrie : It's not gonna make me happy, is it?
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Laura Petrie : Millie, in trying to help you, Rob, wrote fourteen letters praising the show, and Alan, and you.
Rob Petrie : And, uh, where are they now?
Laura Petrie : [Millie starts to cry] She mailed them.
Rob Petrie : [Starts laughing uncontrollably]
Laura Petrie : Rob? Are you alright?
Rob Petrie : I couldn't be worse!
