Phffft (1954)
Judy Holliday: Nina Tracey
Photos
Quotes
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : [laughing at Bob, while mocking his appearance] If you knew what you looked like in that silly vest and that mustache. You look like a gigolo! You don't even look like a gigolo, you look like Groucho Marx!
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Charlie Nelson : Basically, the world is divided into the cryers and the laughers. There are sub-divisions, of course, like the whiners and the gigglers, but basically there are the two major schools.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Schools of what?
Charlie Nelson : Well, to put it as delicately as possible, of getting a young lady into a receptive mood for, you know, romance. What it amounts to is this. You can laugh them into it or you can cry them into it.
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Nina's Divorce Lawyer : A little saddle soap, ma'am.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Oh, yes.
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Robert Tracey : I blame the whole thing on your mother and her beloved Dr. Van Kessel.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Dr. Van Kessel is a brilliant analyst.
Robert Tracey : Brilliant? All he does is sit there earning $25 an hour listening to...
Nina Tracey née Chapman : $50 an hour.
Robert Tracey : Listening to neurotic women discussing their *sex* lives!
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Nina's Divorce Lawyer : I swear, when he said, "Divorce granted," well, there was tears in my eyes. I always cry at divorces.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : I don't know. It was so - quick. Are you absolutely sure it's legal?
Nina's Divorce Lawyer : Absolutely, ma'am.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : I can hardly believe it. It's too good to be true.
Nina's Divorce Lawyer : Well, ma'am, when two people, down deep in their hearts know they really hate each other, that's the only thing that matters.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Oh, we really hate each other, all right. There's no doubt about that.
Nina's Divorce Lawyer : Of course you do. And I know you two are going to be very, very happy.
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Robert Tracey : Charlie said, "It's none of my business..."
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Oh, That's the absolute truth.
Robert Tracey : "It's none of my business, but as they say on Broadway, 'If the show is a flop, fold it.'"
Nina Tracey née Chapman : [sarcastically] Oh, that's so beautifully expressed.
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Robert Tracey : I can tell everything about a person from their canceled checks.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Can you tell about me?
Robert Tracey : Everything.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Everything?
Robert Tracey : Everything.
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Robert Tracey : Where do you sleep?
Nina Tracey née Chapman : That's very tricky. You just press a button. A bed sort of pops out of the wall.
Robert Tracey : What?
Nina Tracey née Chapman : I'll show you. It sort of goes "whoosh!" Watch out!
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Robert Tracey : You're frivolous, romantic, generous, somewhat over-impulsive, you're ambitious. You're a little scatter-brained and you also have a weakness for lacy underwear.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : That's uncanny!
Robert Tracey : You're also very pretty. You're very sweet and you like to be kissed.
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Robert Tracey : Well, it's wonderful, really. I always say, you can never really get to know a person well until you've been through her canceled checks.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : You can't?
Robert Tracey : Beats psychiatry, palm reading, and, you know, feeling the bumps on someone's head.
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : I don't know what's going to happen to him and I don't care. Probably live on whiskey and French-fried potatoes. Get fat, lose all his clients. I don't know what he's going to do and I don't care.
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : I have to go to NBC first.
Edith Chapman : NBC can wait. First, I'm taking you to lunch. We'll have thousands of martinis and all the most expensive things on the menu.
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Robert Tracey : You have a basic salaried income of $3,380 per annum. Is that correct?
Nina Tracey née Chapman : That's right. If that's what $65 a week comes to. Yes. I don't see why we have to discuss it.
Robert Tracey : Well, I shall shortly be earning $5,200 myself. And to get to the point, if we were to file a joint return it would seem to me that with the two exemptions the joint return may not only be feasible, but actually economically very sound. Indeed, tax-wise.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Oh, all right. I didn't think you could do that, file a joint return just like that. I thought you had to be married or something. Oh? Oh! Oh!
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : I'm no longer interested in beds.
Edith Chapman : You've got to stop brooding this way. You've got to try and make a successful adjustment.
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : I don't know why I ever married him in the first place. I was afraid of being an old maid. I wasn't nearly this attractive then, either. I didn't realize that there are certain women like me. who get *more* attractive as they mature. I thought by the time I was 30 I was going to be lined and gray. How did I know I was suddenly going to blossom out into a raving, screaming beauty.
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Rick Vidal : We'll go where there's music, soft lights, dancing.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : It sounds delicious, simply delicious.
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Rick Vidal : Hey! What did I do?
Nina Tracey née Chapman : You goofed!
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : I'm free, free! You don't know what that means. And I'm going to enjoy it. El Morocco every night and men, millions of men! Poor, miserable creatures groveling at my feet! I'm going to be a combination of Sadie Thompson, Forever Amber and Scarlett O'Hammer, all rolled up into one. I'm going to be passion's plaything!
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : Well, you certainly have a very forceful personality and you sort of smell good, too.
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : Come on in. I'm just in the midst of making martinis.
Charlie Nelson : Martinis?
Nina Tracey née Chapman : I've got glasses in the ice box to chill. Is that right?
Charlie Nelson : Well, that's imperative. That's absolutely crucial. You know, when I get up in the morning, the first thing I do is brush my teeth. The second thing, I put the glasses in to chill.
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Nina Tracey née Chapman : There's something the matter with it, I can tell. I did something wrong. Probably bruised the gin. Would you tell me how you can possibly bruise gin?
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Charlie Nelson : I don't know how it happened to pop out right now. It's part of the famous Charlie Nelson technique. I don't know why I should be using it on you, though.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : I don't know why you shouldn't.
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Charlie Nelson : Hey, man, you smell good.
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Well, I certainly should at $35 an ounce.
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Nightclub Band Leader : Mambo!
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Mambo?
Robert Tracey : Mambo!
Nina Tracey née Chapman : Mambo!