Lucky Me (1954)

Phil Silvers: Hap Schneider

Photos 

Quotes 

• Candy Williams : There's thirteen people in the audience.

  Hap Schneider : This is no time to be superstitious. It's bad luck.

• Hap Schneider : "Food By Anton". There's a nice bit. Here we are loaded with talent, and some hash hustler gets his name up in lights.

• Hap Schneider : [after Candy breaks a mirror]  Hey, what's the matter with you? That's seven years bad luck.

  Candy Williams : Let's make it fourteen.

  [smashes another mirror] 

  Hap Schneider : Wanna try for twenty-one?

  [Candy smashes a third mirror] 

• Flo : Boy, ain't this party a ball?

  Hap Schneider : What's with the ain'ts? Ain'ts. There are a lot of ritzy people here. Watch your language.

  Flo : What are you talking about? I speak as well as anybody. In fact, weller.

• Hap Schneider : [after Flo pushes Lorraine into the swimming pool]  How did it go?

  Flo : Swimmingly.

• Candy Williams : Hap, stop it!

  Hap Schneider : What's the matter?

  Candy Williams : Well, you know that whistling in the dressing room is bad luck.

  Hap Schneider : Isn't that cute? Two months in show business, she knows all the rules.

  Candy Williams : Well, you're the one that told me.

• Candy Williams : [sings]  And the Bluebells of Broadway are ringing...

  Candy Williams , Flo , Hap Schneider , Duke McGee : [sings]  The Bluebells are ringing with a bag-pipe beat on Broadway, on Broadway tonight.

• Hap Schneider : Say, how about a little square-dancin'? Yahoo!

  [jumps on the table and it collapses] 

  Party Guest : Alright?

  Hap Schneider : Must be these boots, I'm used to dancing in my bare feet. How's everybody? Ah! Yahoo!

• Candy Williams : [Referring to an unusually unresponsive audience]  I thought you said we'd murder 'em?

  Hap Schneider : Well... they're dead, ain't they?