- Sgt. Moe: [answering his phone] Hello! Yeah! Detective bureau, Sergeant Moe speaking. Oh, wait a minute, Clancy. Go ahead. You say there's a dead horse on Ticonderoga Street? How do you spell "Ticonderoga"? Oh, you don't know, either. Well, drag him over to First Street.
- [hangs up]
- Sgt. Moe: I have to think of everything.
- [Shemp is banging his head on the desk as part as his 'thinking' method]
- Shemp: I've got it! A terrific headache.
- Shemp: Release that guy who stole eleven bottles of whiskey. I know he's guilty, but the DA said we can't make a case out of eleven bottles.
- [accidentally bonking Moe on the head while aiming for a monkey on his desk]
- Shemp: Oh, Moe. Moe. I meant to hit the other monkey.
- Shemp: The body of your friend Slug McGurk was found wrapped up in newspapers. Now, I know you can't believe everything you see in the newspapers...