- Judy: They want me to marry Harry Flack!
- Melvin: Judy, you can't! I-I love you, Judy!
- Judy: Shh... Melvin...
- Melvin: You're not gonna do it, are you?
- Judy: Well, you see...
- Melvin: Because if you do it, I'll be very frank about this, Judy. If you do it, I'll kill myself!
- Judy: Melvin! Stop it!
- Melvin: I mean it! Judy, you know how I feel! I'd do anything for you! I'd rob a bank, I'd take a rocket to the moon, anything! Just ask me!
- Judy: Put me on the cover! My picture, on the cover of the magazine!
- Melvin: Judy, I said I'd kill myself or take a rocket to the moon, but don't ask the impossible!
- Mr. Schneider: Of all the ridiculous--Why is he taking pictures in the bathroom?
- Judy: Pops, it's my career!
- Mr. Schneider: In the bathroom?
- Mrs. Schneider: It's been going on all day. I didn't know what to do.
- Mrs. Schneider: Judy! Come on, get up! It's late! JUDY!
- Judy: Aw, Mom, Bob Taylor was just saying something important!
- Mrs. Schneider: Oh, come on!
- Judy: Oh, just five minutes! Maybe I can dream him back!
- Mr. Schneider: You know, that fella's got maybe a thousand pictures of you. What's he doing with 'em, papering a wall?
- Mergo: You got a cover idea? What is it?
- Melvin: A girl!
- Mergo: Oh joy! Now THERE is an earth-shaking notion! A girl on the cover of a magazine! They'll go mad, I tell you, mad!
- Melvin: But this girl's different!
- Mergo: What's she got, three eyes?
- [Picks up and drinks from a beaker]
- Melvin: Oh no, no, you see...
- [yelling]
- Melvin: Mr. Mergo that's hypo!
- Mergo: [Gasps] That's what I call a lousy drink.
- Mergo: It'll work! You know, I wouldn't do this for a friend of mine. He might get in trouble. With you, I don't care.
- Mr. Prouty: Are you drunk, Mr. Schneider?
- Mr. Schneider: Forget that "Schneider" bit! I've just been to court changing my name to "LeRoy"!
- Mr. Prouty: Splendid. Are you drunk, Mr. LeRoy?
- Mr. Schneider: [surreptitiously watching Judy in a long kiss with Melvin outside the door] What is this--a time exposure?
- Harry Flack: Surprise!
- Judy: Why, Harry! I thought you had to work tonight?
- Harry Flack: Well, all work and no play makes Harry lots of jack!
- Melvin: Miss LaRoy, I'd like to take pictures of you sometime.
- Judy: Really?
- Harry Flack: Why?
- Melvin: Well, look at her. She has some very interesting possibilities.
- [Harry looks her over]
- Melvin: I'm thinking in terms of a layout for the magazine. Maybe a two-page spread.
- Melvin: [singing] Where, oh where, oh where did you learn to--how do you do twists? How do you do turns? You better take care or the carpet'll burn, Where, oh where, oh where, did you learn to dance?
- Melvin: Be with you a minute, Mrs. Menafee. By the way, is that zoo stuff back?
- Miss Menafee: Yes and Mr. Mergo says get off your pelvic bone and rush it upstairs before you're fired.
- Mrs. Schneider: You hardly ever see Harry any more.
- Judy: Well, I have fun with Melvin. Much more than I have with Harry!
- Mr. Schneider: Fun? What's that got to do with it? I never had any fun with your mother. But, I always kept her nicely.
- Mr. Schneider: I'd certainly like to see my daughter settle down, instead of playing a football on Broadway.
- Judy: Let's not talk about it.
- Mr. Schneider: Fine. Great solution for everything: don't talk about it.
- Melvin: How long does it take them to decide on a cover anyway? You look at a picture. Yes. No. Right? You look at another picture. Yes. No. Right?
- Miss Menafee: Right.
- Mrs. Schneider: Clarabelle, get away from there! You know you shouldn't eavesdrop... ..What are they talking about?
- Harry Flack: So, this is how it goes: one fella says to the other fellow, "It's raining cats and dogs!" And the other fella says, "I know, I just stepped in a poodle."--Well, that's it.
- Mr. Schneider: Oh?
- Harry Flack: It's a play on the word poodle. Poodle. Puddle. Puddle. Poodle.
- Mr. Schneider: Oh? Oh! Sure! Very funny, Harry!
- Announcer in Dream Sequence: Miss Judy LaRoy, Mr. Gene Kelly, Mr. Fred Astaire, on the set please.
- Judy: [To Melvin] Would you like to have dinner with us?
- Clarabelle: [To Judy] Pop says if the subject comes up, no.