Calamity Jane (1953)
Doris Day: Calamity Jane
Photos
Quotes
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[the singer is a man in drag]
Wild Bill Hickok : She ain't very good lookin'
Calamity Jane : That ain't all she ain't.
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Calamity Jane : Look at these! Silk, pure silk! I'll bet her mother spun 'em!
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Calamity Jane : [singing] At last my heart's an open door / And my secret love's no secret any more.
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Calamity Jane : Excitement? Why, I got more arrows in the back of that coach than a porcupine has got stickers!
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[Bill is dressed as an Indian woman with a baby]
Calamity Jane : Gosh almighty, it's Bill Hickok!
[proceeds to laugh along with everyone else]
Wild Bill Hickok : [hands baby over] Here take him.
[stands up]
Wild Bill Hickok : The next man that laughs is gonna get his head ventilated.
[silence and Bill sits down. Calamity laughs again after a few moments]
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Calamity Jane : I got a strange feelin' somebody's bein' hustled.
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Calamity Jane : Make mine sarsparilly!
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Calamity Jane : That's better. Next time I tell a story, keep your hands in your *pockets* you toothless old buffalo!
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Calamity Jane : [while in Chicago, sees a store window with wigs on display] Scalps!
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Calamity Jane : This town ain't big enough! Not for me and that frilled-up, flirtin', man-rustlin' petticoat, it ain't!
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Calamity Jane : Whip, crack, away!
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Wild Bill Hickok : [finds a gun hidden in Calamity's wedding dress] What's this fer?
Calamity Jane : Awww... just in case any more actresses come in from Chicagy!
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Calamity Jane : [singing] Hi Joe / say where'd you get them fancy clothes? / I know / off some fella's laundry line. / Hi Bow / aren't you the prairie rose / Smell like a watermelon vine.
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Calamity Jane : Enjoy the show!