Untamed Women (1952) User Reviews

Cavewomen! Dinosaurs! Bad dialog!

[dinky-4 · 5/10 · 17 December 2002]

Okay, so it's a notch or two below the works of Orson Welles, but connoisseurs of tacky B-movies from the 1950s will find much to enjoy in this tale of four Air Force men who crash their World War II plane in the South Pacific and who then wind up on an island inhabited by a colony of beautiful women dressed in cavewoman chic. Especially notable is the dialog spoken by these women. Here are my four favorite lines: (1) "Thy lips are parched and dry." (2) "The ways of men are strange to us, O Sandra our priestess and protector." (3) "The strange-tongued one speaketh in riddles." (4) "They be only four and ye be many."

There are visual delights as well, such as the footage of nervous-looking lizards crawling around miniature rocks and trees in an attempt to palm themselves off as some kind of dinosaurs. And then there's the exploding volcano in the final reel!

However, these charms can't equal those found in "Island of Lost Women" because that movie has a more attractive cast. The females in "Untamed Women," for example, look like runner-up beauty queens from a small high school in Oklahoma, and the men are routine specimens who keep their clothes on. On the other hand, the females in "Island of Lost Women" rank on the va-va-voom scale and the two men are hot-looking hunks who shed their shirts faster than gay strippers at a New Year's Eve party.

And finally, would someone explain why a woman from a two-thousand-year-old Druid culture living on an uncharted Pacific island be called "Sandra?"

Shoddy even for the standards of the time and the genre.

[lemon_magic · 3/10 · 6 January 2008]

You would be hard-pressed to come up with a movie dumber and duller than "Untamed Women". It clocks in at barely more than an hour, and a significant chunk of it is simply padding with stock footage; but in spite of its sensational premise (four WWII Air Force crewmen are stranded on a deserted tropical isle with a tribe of mateless women), it drags on endlessly and never manages to generate even the slightest bit of interest or credibility.

The "Untamed Women" have modern 50s suburban hairstyles and makeup, are plain and uncharismatic (they can't "act" at all, of course), have no muscle tone, are forced to mouth an unconvincing and unintentionally hilarious mix of Elizabethan English and pseudo-Shakespeare, and generally generate less erotic interest than the JC Penny lingerie catalog. The worst of the lot (because she is on camera more than the rest) is high priestess "Sandra", who couldn't read a line believably at gun point and couldn't "die" convincingly on camera if you actually shot her. (Not that I am suggesting anyone should. Bad performances are not a capital crime.)

The men aren't much better, although some of the fault lies in the ham-handed clichés of the screenplay. Quite early in the movie I began to hope that the comic relief guy (from "Brooklyn", of course) would fall into a volcano as soon as possible. His role (and performance) was even worse than Sid Melton's similar role in "Lost Continent.") I didn't think that was possible, but the actor,director, and screenplay managed to top Sid in almost every way. Um, does this call for a "Bravo" or a Bronx cheer?

Also memorably awful were the, um, "battle" sequences where the heroes battled the "Hairy Men", i.e. shot them. The Hairy Men are notable for their complete lack of energy or interest in the proceedings; they fight as though their limbs are made of wet noodles,and when they get "shot", they fall down as if struck by narcolepsy.

One other sign of a really shoddy budget screenplay is the way the movie ends; the whole tribe of women perishes "off camera" as the movie shows stock footage of a rock slide and a volcano eruption.So do their tormentors, the "Hairy Men". It's pretty obvious that the director either lost interest or ran out of money and just decided to pretend he'd resolved the plot with a deus-ex-machina ending that wasn't justified by anything that had come before.

Lyle Talbot is in here in a small part in the scenes that bookend the movie,and he gives his usual sturdy, dependable performance. It only makes the rest of the movie worse by comparison.

An early entry in the 'sexy cave-women' genre - cheap and silly

[jamesrupert2014 · 3/10 · 27 October 2023]

As recalled by a concussed, possibly deranged, man found floating in a life-raft, a downed U. S. bomber crew drifted onto an uncharted volcanic island inhabited by primeval creatures and by comely women who were the descendants of ancient Druid refugees and whose menfolk had recently been eradicated by rampaging cavemen. The story is sketchy and ludicrous, and is largely an excuse to recycle special effects footage from 1940's 'One Million BC' (the source of 'dinosaur' footage in a plethora of B-movies and TV programs) as the men pointlessly trudge through the monster-infested wastelands before returning to their starting point (only to be threatened by 'One Million BC's exploding volcano, lava and rockslides). The 'untamed women' (or the 'dolls' as they are frequently referred to) are statuesque, perfectly coiffed epitomes of early '50's beauty and, of course, they immediately fall in love with the rugged American flyboys. Despite being a hold-over from a religion that faded away millennia ago, they speakith in a pseudo-Shakespearian English (verily, they soundith more like American Quakers than Elizabethans). No explanation is hazarded as to why the island is populated by antediluvian monsters and hirsute cavemen, so the women's diction is not the film's greatest mystery. The Americans include the usual Hollywood G. I. tropes, a wiseacre from Brooklyn, a farm-boy from Arkansas, etc and the script is essentially a series of clichés held together by occasional plot-driving sentences. No one would expect that acting ability was high on the list of prerequisites when casting the lovely Druidesses but the men are terrible (although they were probably up to the material they were given). For a film with an apparently negligible budget, the opening crash of the B17 is pretty well done (except for the scenes in the spartan cockpit) and the movie's ending is not as 'Hollywood' as I smugly anticipated. Unfortunately for young men in the 1950's, the heights of the 'sexy cave-women' genre would not be reached until Raquel Welch battled Mesozoic horrors in a fur-bikini in 'One Million Years BC' (the 1966 remake of the Hal Roach classic that provided the aforementioned saurian beasties) or when Victoria Vetri left her primordial two-piece at the side of the swimming hole in 1970's 'When Dinosaurs Ruled the Earth'.

Tacky, Funny, and Truly Weird

[mrb1980 · 1 June 2005]

This movie's a variation on the "men-are-stranded-with-lost-civilization-of-sex-starved-women" theme. A WWII bomber is forced down in the ocean, and after paddling their raft for a few days, the surviving men come ashore on the usual uncharted island, which is ruled by a race of women descended from the Druids (!).

That's only the beginning of the fun, as the women are constantly pestered by "The Hairy Men", who are a bunch of actors dressed in animal skins and covered by fake hair. A few of the usual shots of lizards from "One Million Years B.C." are thrown in, there are battles with the "Hairy Men", and a volcanic eruption climax predictably ends the movie. The whole implausible story is told by Conrad in flashback to serious doctor Lyle Talbot and a nurse, who find the whole story a bit wild until "evidence" of its veracity is uncovered in the final shot.

This movie is entertaining due to its bizarre plot, laughable dialogue, and plentiful action sequences. There's nothing quite like it, to be sure, so watch with an open mind.

P.S.: Nomination for the movie's best line: "Ed, stand guard. Shoot anything with hair on it that moves!"

Las Vegas Druids

[bkoganbing · 2/10 · 21 December 2010]

Untamed Women has pilot Mikel Conrad who has spent time on a rubber raft being rescued and is now in the hospital. He and his crew have crashed in the Pacific (I think because the film isn't real specific) laying in the bed totally mute and in shock. Dr. Lyle Talbot administers some sodium pentathol and Conrad like Ishmael tells his tale.

After sinking an enemy cruiser, the bomber is hit with flak and has to ditch in the ocean. The crew bails out and eventually four of them reach an uncharted island that the mapmakers missed.

The uncharted island was really losing currency at this time. There just aren't any of those in the Atlantic and in the Pacific during World War II, the Americans and the Japanese probably charted everything that was left, but I digress.

Once on the island Conrad and his crew run into all kinds of things, a tribe of Neanderthals who need some women because these guys definitely haven't had their itches scratched in like forever, a tribe of Amazons who are descended from Druids scattered to the four winds after the invasion of Britain by the Romans, a volcano everybody worships and for good measure some prehistoric beasts thrown in courtesy of One Million BC. I think you can figure out the rest of the plot with these elements.

The movie leaves this location purposely vague. At one point the usual guy from Brooklyn who pops up in all war movies says that if they get back on the ocean the enemy might pick them up and they'll spend the rest of the war in a concentration camp eating raw fish and rice. Clues that these guys could be in either theater.

These Amazons are without men because the Neanderthals have killed them all off in previous raids. They like what they see in this stranded bomber crew who speak so foreign, but want to make sure they're not with the Neanderthals. As for their looks, in those animal skins with Fifties styled hairdos, they look like a line that any Las Vegas club would be proud to have.

Untamed Women just goes to show that Ed Wood did not direct all the bad movies from this era.

Death to film

[ray-331-768935 · 1/10 · 9 July 2022]

Ashes to Ashes films came from storage and return to the empty space of brains. There is nothing nothing from nothing. 1 foot in front of the other gives you direction but the direction need not have a reason. Such is this movie such is this movie.

Seen on Pittsburgh's Chiller Theater in 1964

[kevinolzak · 2/10 · 3 April 2019]

"Untamed Women" was a long forgotten United Artists release from 1952, its star Mikel Conrad having previously directed and starred in 1949's equally obscure "The Flying Saucer," which never suggests that its saucer comes from outer space. Director W. Merle Connell stayed on the fringes of Hollywood, usually as an editor, though among the films he photographed were John Carradine's "The Unearthly" and Phil Tucker's "The Cape Canaveral Monster." This was the last feature for screenwriter George Wallace Sayre, whose prior credits include the 1939 Boris Karloff vehicle "The Man They Could Not Hang," John Carradine's 1944 "Alaska" at Monogram, and the studio's 1945 Charlie Chan entry "The Shanghai Cobra." The late 40s and early 50s saw a rather large number of low grade 'Lost World' efforts like "Unknown World," "Two Lost Worlds," "Lost Continent," "The Jungle," and "Captive Women," all utilizing the same stock footage of lizards posing as dinosaurs from Hal Roach's 1940 "One Million B.C." "Untamed Women" is told in flashback by the only survivor of a WW2 bomber crew of four whose plane went down in the Pacific, drifting for days before reaching an island inhabited by scantily clad cave women, their first thought to capture the 'hairy men' who have a history of killing. Once the quartet prove to be friends, the girls fall all over each other to claim one as a mate, despite the protestations of high priestess Sandra (Doris Merrick). The boys survive attacks from a man eating plant and a single roaming dinosaur before a large number of cavemen appear to claim their brides (reliable Bronson Canyon again), most of their ammunition used to repel them. The entire pointless exercise concludes with a volcanic eruption that claims all the lives on the island, save the one man who overcomes his amnesia to tell the impossible tale. Lyle Talbot is the one familiar face, as the doctor who opens and closes the picture, his best known genre credits opposite Bela Lugosi, "One Body Too Many," "Glen or Glenda," and "Plan 9 from Outer Space." There's always camp value in seeing perfectly coiffed models trying to pass themselves off as prehistoric women, their tribal dances offering additional eye candy, and there is some attempt to meld live actors with stock footage but it's really a lost cause, these Untamed Women all looking quite docile to this viewer.

Minimal value, no real fun

[I_Ailurophile · 2/10 · 14 November 2022]

Oh boy. I guess I should have known what I was getting into; genre flicks of the 50s were not commonly well made, and mostly characterized by being extremely low-budget and ungenuine. This is definitely an example of the latter type, with cheap effects (some better than others), substantial use of stock footage and recycled film, and meager, Just So writing, direction, and acting. Plot development is astoundingly simple and direct, not to mention flimsy; dialogue, scene writing, and indeed characters are blithely, painfully ham-handed, and more than a little sexist. Even at that, some such fare is better than others. 'Untamed women,' however, is not one of the better ones.

The "beards" adorning the men are grotesque in their inauthenticity. W. Merle Connell's direction is soporific and lazy, echoing George Wallace Sayre's screenplay. In circumstances like this I'm inclined to give actors the benefit of the doubt, but here it's hard to tell if weak direction and writing informs the performances, or if the cast is really just that lousy and unskilled. There are some good ideas here, perhaps, but none are employed well. I would want to say that the climax is probably the best part of the film, the part to which the most resources were devoted - yet I'm given to understand that no small part of it is also stock footage or recycled film, so my favor doesn't really get off the ground.

True, there are still worse pictures you could watch. Uninteresting as 'Untamed women' is, and in some ways dubious, it's not the absolute bottom of the barrel. It's close enough, however, that there's not really any reason to watch this. Maybe if you're extra curious or extra bored it's a way to pass the time, but otherwise, there are far too many other titles you should be watching instead.

Calling this a B movie is an insult to B movies.

[mark.waltz · 2/10 · 2 January 2016]

There's something rotten in the South Pacific, and it ain't Bloody Mary's teeth. One of the truly laughable movies of the 1950's yet not worth a cult following, this is truly a stinker. Man-hating women imprison fighters in World War II stranded on Druid Island, lost from.civilization for millennium yet complete with modern hairstyles and an uncanny ability to reproduce more women without a man around, at least one that lived to tell about it. Stock footage from One Million Years B.C. adds pre-historic creatures that are obviously enlarged mammals you'd see on a zoo, skewed to look creepy.

These creatures give better performances than any of the human actors who were obviously reading cue cards. Actually, the male actors are reading the lines more realistically while the females are very one note in how they recite their lines. The explanation of how the women decide to free the men is pretty lame, although the leader of the Druids seems to know the dangers they might face. When one of the men is attacked by a supposed flesh eating plant, it actually appears to be two newspapers smacked over his face to emulate the obviously phony monster.

The giant Jaramillo monster is perhaps the silliest looking of the critters, while what is supposed to be a dinosaur like critter is nothing more than a harmless gecko. The camera on the newly filmed footage moves at odd speeds at times, giving an impression of intended fast action. Stock footage of the volcano exploding is great, but I wanted to yell at the stupid characters, If the falling rocks don't get you, the lava will! Also laughable are "The hairy men" who look like residents of Dogpatch more than cavemen.

If the film makes any point, it is the message that any female rib society will instantly collapse when men appear out of nowhere because no matter what their feminist leaders say, the others will ultimately be controlled by their hormones.

Suffered From Sub-Standard Acting and an Even Worse Script

[Uriah43 · 3/10 · 30 September 2017]

This film begins with an Army pilot named "Captain Steve Holloway" (Mikel Conrad) undergoing treatment in a hospital after suffering from a head injury which has affected his memory. As it so happens his bomber was hit by Japanese flak and he and his crew were subsequently forced to ditch the plane somewhere in the Pacific. After drifting in a life raft for 8 days they finally come upon an uncharted island where they are taken prisoner by a small party of native women back to their camp. At first the high priestess named "Sandra" (Doris Merrick) wants to have them killed. However, after much dancing and deliberation the rest of the women convince her to have the men mate with them instead. Unfortunately, this idea doesn't appeal to Sandra who unties them and forces them into the wilderness where they encounter all sorts of dangerous prehistoric animals and flesh-eating plants-and it's then that things become even more hazardous for everyone concerned. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that this was a rather low-quality B-movie from the 50's which suffered from substandard acting and an even worse script. Likewise, although the special effects weren't that bad for this particular time-period, it should be noted that much of it was acquired directly from a previous film "One Million B.C." which diminishes my regard for the imagination and talent of those involved in producing it even more in my view. That said, I don't consider this to be a very good film and I have rated it accordingly. Below average.

"I'd say time forgot all about this place."

[classicsoncall · 3/10 · 25 June 2023]

The title of this picture had me thinking of a prison movie from the era like 1950's "Caged" or "Women's Prison" from 1955. But then a blurb on a streaming channel stated, 'Loaded with Dinosaurs'!, and I thought this was something I couldn't pass up, even with it's low 3.6 IMDb rating (as I write this). Well folks, it lives up to that score and then some. The continuity in the story is all over the place after a tribe of women discover a four-man crew that survived the crash of their bomber in the ocean during World War II. At first, the leader of the tribe, O Sondra (Doris Merrick), wanted to have them killed, but relented when the (presumably) love starved women wanted to spare their lives. So then, O Sondra agreed to offer them a trial, but then when the men escaped from their prison cave, she wound up cutting them loose with a knife. Talk about unpredictable women!

As far as the dinosaurs go, what you've got here are rather run of the mill lizards enlarged to resemble prehistoric monsters, but laughably, you can recognize your standard gecko and iguana, with an occasional armadillo and wooly mammoth thrown in, which would have been chronologically impossible. Add insipid dialog to the characters and you have all the makings of a classic schlock film production making you wonder why the principals wouldn't have been embarrassed to participate in it. The icing on the cake, I guess, would be the attack of the 'Hairy Men' against the women tribe, easily put down by the 'magic thunder' of the firearms the crew had with them. All of the story is related in flashback when the one surviving member of the bomber crew escaped from the island as an active volcano blew its top and engulfed it in massive landslides and rivers of molten lava, courtesy of stock footage from "One Million B. C". I knew I saw that monster lizard fall into a crevice somewhere before!

A Masterpiece of Compelling Imagery and Taut Dialogue

[paul vincent zecchino · 10/10 · 18 April 2011]

A recommendation. Watch this film while trying to do something meaningful, time-sensitive, and pressing. You won't be able to do so, as the intense, gripping visuals on screen combined with taut, precisely metered dialogue will inevitably and quickly rivet your attention this masterpiece.

This is an important film, one which I had the privilege of viewing late one Sunday night recently on THIS TV movie channel. Hopefully, THIS will air it again, because as is the case with masterworks of layered subtlety, one must repeatedly examine the subject matter to discover all its nuances.

The great Lyle Talbot contributes mightily the intellectual psychodrama of this period piece.

Thespian Talbot's role as physician is deftly counterbalanced by what appears to be stock footage of cannibalistic spear-toting savages interspersed with imagery of Dinosaurs thrashing about, chasing the savages and women clad in loincloth all over what appears to be a desert wilderness outside L.A.

Yes, this is one not to miss. As astute reviewers here note, this film indeed proves that the late Edward D. Wood, Jr. did not direct all the lousy films, in fact he had quite a bit of competition during his heyday.

But given the inane, preposterous, utterly non-credible nature of this pile of celluloid trash, Mr. Wood would surely have lamented not having so done.

A sprawling epochal film of taste and beauty, layered with spears, loincloths, and girlies, one which will delight discriminating viewers for many a decade hence.

Please, if you see no other film this year, see "Untamed Women".

Paul Vincent Zecchino

Critic of Critical Mass

Manasota Key, Florida

18 April, 2011

Early Low-Budget "Lost World" Adventure...Hokey But Lively

[LeonLouisRicci · 6/10 · 1 December 2021]

Crammed with Lost-World-Women Clad in Loin-Cloths and Premium Hair and Make-Up.

Magnified Lizards and Assorted Creatures, some Stolen from "One Million Years B. C." (1940), an Angry Volcano, and a Tribe of "The Harry Ones", just Waiting to Kill, Rape, and Pillage.

The Girls are All Pretty and Pretty Willing to be Friendly with the Newly Arrived Soldiers, who had to Crash-Land During Battle.

There are Copious Amounts of Genre Cliches, Tropes, and Expectations.

The Strength of the Movie is the Fast-Pacing and some Clever Shots and Angles. It's Obvious some Effort went into Making this Movie Entertaining.

The Weakness is a Never-Shuts-Up, Brooklyn Dodgers Fan who Routinely Brings the Movie to a Cringe-Inducing Halt.

But Overall if You are Attracted to this Type of Thing, it will Not Disappoint.

There is Enough Eye-Candy Here to Satisfy and the Musical Score Ain't Bad.

It also Goes Against the Grain of the Usual "Happy Ending".

The Poster Version with the T-Rex is a Colorful, Classy B-Movie Classic.

Slightly Above Average and...

Worth a Watch.

More nonsensical fun for B-movie fans! (Some spoilers!)

[wishkah7 · 27 October 2000]

Four air force officers named Steve (the hero), Benny, (the kooky comic relief character) Ed (an insecure Momma's Boy), and Andy (the farm boy) have their plane shot down during WW2, and they land in a seemingly tropical paradise only to find trouble with it's residents: a bevy of women who just so happen to be the last descendents of the ancient Druids! The Druid women were being lead by a princess named Sandra. At first the women capture them thinking they are their enemies, then they realize one thing: they need men on their island! They soon befriend them.

They also tell the men that they were being victimized by some cavemen-like people called 'The Hairy Men". The Hairy Men are after the Druid women so they could kidnap them and make them their wives. The worst character in this movie was Benny. Though he was there for comic relief, but he acts way too moronic, and his thick Brooklyn accent will give you the shudders! Compared to other comic relief characters I've seen, Benny is totally corny and unoriginal!

This movie is so bad that it makes Robot Monster look like an Oscar-award winning performance! (Spoiler warning): During the scene where the air-force officers were explaining who they were and where they were from, Benny delivers a cheap piece of dialogue where he says, "We fly a bomber called an airplane! We go up and down, like this....." then he imitates the engine and gets the girls laughing, the Druid princess Sandra says, "The man has lost his senses!" The makers and writers of this movie must have lost their senses when they thought up of this plot!

There was also this silly scene where our heroes, Steven, Benny, Ed, and Andy were shooting the hairy men with their guns nearly killing them all! The grande finale has a volcano on the island that erupts and destroys the island and only the hero, Steve survives. The Hairy Men were so stupid looking that they look like those mini-action figures that you find in kid's cereal boxes!

Anyway, in closing, if you are the fan of B-movies feel free to check this one out!

Don't expect great things

[neil-476 · 6/10 · 10 August 2022]

A bomber ditches rather tidily in the Pacific and a liferaft with a number of the crew washes up on an uncharted volcanic island. Leaving the beach, the men encounter a number of miniskirted English speaking white women (doing a rather improbable modern dance on a beautifully manicured lawn. The women imprison them in a cave, then put them on trial, then imprison them, then release them and so on. There are also cavemen, with whom there is fighting on the lawn and at Vasquez Rocks - fortunately the airmen seem to have brought vast amounts of ammunition for their revolvers. There are also dinosaurs aka armadillos and iguanas in footage pilfered from One Million BC. There is also a volcanic eruotion, from which - spoiler! - asingle airman emerges alive on the liferaft.

I watched this on Youtube in a version which was quite nicely colorized. The downbeat ending came as a bit of a shocker, otherwise there was nothing unexpected here at all. The secret enclave of Druid-descended women (whose leader is called Sandra!) is laughable, as is their interpretative dance. The thing clearly cost abot ninepence, and it shows. Having said that, it's a reasonable enough ninepence-worth.

Thankfully Bad Enough to Be Entertaining

[Michael_Elliott · 12 March 2011]

Untamed Women (1952)

** (out of 4)

Officer Steve Holloway (Mikel Conrad) is picked up by the government adrift in a raft. He's been missing for many months and can't remember anything so a doctor (Lyle Talbot) gives him a serum that will bring his memory back and force him to tell the truth. Steven then tells the story of himself and three friends whose plane was forced down and they ended up in a raft and landed on an island. The island is ran by a group of women who date back to the Druids and they also have dinosaurs, an erupting volcano and a group of "Hairy Men" they must battle. Hal Roach must have made a killing selling off dinosaur footage from his 1940 film ONE MILLION B.C. because it has been featured in countless poverty row flicks including this one here. UNTAMED WOMEN has the reputation of being one of the worst movies ever made. There's no question that it's a very badly made movie but thankfully it's hammy enough to where you should be entertained (if you enjoy bad movies). There are some pretty memorable bad moments but the highlight of the entire film has to be the scene where one of men, suffering from issues with his mother, walks off into a forest where he gets attacked by a flesh-eating plant. His three buddies come to the rescue and just seeing how this scene plays out had me laughing out loud. Another funny sequence happens once the men are in the ocean on their raft. It's raining as hard as you can imagine yet the men's hair and clothes aren't even wet. I guess we can all give Michael Caine and JAWS: THE REVENGE a break now because the sequence here is even more pathetic. The performances are all pretty bland but the four male actors are at least entertaining enough and help draw you into the movie. The female performers were clearly hired for their looks and clearly not their acting ability. The dinosaur footage is all rather campy and there's some footage from a couple others movies but I couldn't identify which ones. Some of it might have been new because there's some stuff dealing with what looks like a large porcupine. The volcano footage at the end is yet more stock footage but at least it looks somewhat good. At 70-minutes we can be thankful that the film doesn't run too long as that's just about the right amount of time for a flick like this. Cult favorite Lyle Talbot appears in a few minutes worth a footage and he's always nice to see. UNTAMED WOMEN certainly isn't for those looking for art films but if you like cheap, generic genre movies then it's certainly got enough bad moments to be entertaining.

"I'd Say Time Forgot All About This Place!"...

[azathothpwiggins · 1 August 2022]

During WWII, the survivors of a successful, but ill-fated bombing mission wind up on an uncharted island. They're soon taken captive by the feral females of the title. Much tribal dancing ensues.

UNTAMED WOMEN is just about as absurd as any movie of its type could possibly be. For their part, the male soldiers spend a lot of their time trapped in a cave. That, or being hounded by "prehistoric monsters" (lizards and armadillos with rubber horns and / or fins glued onto their backs). None of which is very exciting. Luckily, our heroes are equipped with those pistols that never run out of bullets. They also have deep discussions about their lives. None of which is very interesting.

Just wait until the secret of the women's origin is revealed! The introduction of the "hairy men" adds to the hilarity!

So, pop the corn and intoxicate some friends. Schlock of this caliber is rare indeed...