The Noose Hangs High (1948)
Lou Costello: Tommy Hinchcliffe
Quotes
-
Ted Higgins : What makes you so dumb?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : It just comes naturally.
-
Ted Higgins : I'm always nervous when I handle money.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : I'm always nervous when I don't handle it.
-
Ted Higgins : We're as honest as the day is long.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : That includes Daylight Savings.
-
Ted Higgins : You take the money. They'd never suspect you.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : I don't want the money. I'd only spend it on silly things.
-
Nick Craig : Where's my dough?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : It's a long story...
Nick Craig : I don't like long stories.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : You like short ones?
Nick Craig : Yeah.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : We ain't got the money.
Nick Craig : Why, you...
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Too short?
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : A guy in a white coat is coming for him and I don't mean the Good Humor man.
-
Ted Higgins : Is she in the living room?
Hilda, the Maid : No. She's indisposed.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : [starts pushing his way in] We'll see her in there.
-
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : Lolly C is off her feed.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : What does she eat?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : Her fodder.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Mr. C! She eats her father? Well, what does her mother eat?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : She eats her fodder!
-
Carol Blair : Let's see, that comes to a sum of...
Tommy Hinchcliffe : I wish I could get some of it back...
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : [to the thug holding him up in the air] Put that floor back where it belongs!
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : A mounted fish? What whoppers that guy tells! Did you ever see a mounted fish? Did you ever see a fish on a horse?
-
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : By the way, how is your mater and pater?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : They're great. They went to the theater with my brater and sater.
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Hiya, toots.
Woman on Street : Don't you dare call me toots, see. I quit the mob 10 years ago and I'm trying to go straight, see. If you guys don't let me alone, I'll get one-eyed Pitsie after you!
-
Ted Higgins : What if you had 5 dollars in one pant's pocket and 10 dollars in the other pants pocket. What would you have?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Someone else's pants.
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : I like worcester shire sheer shauce.
Ted Higgins : You like what?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Wooster sheer shire sauce.
Ted Higgins : You like worcestershire sheershire shauce?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : You can't even say it!
-
Dr. Richards : I'm Dr. Richards, the painless dentist.
[points hand up in the air]
Dr. Richards : Painless!
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Well, I ain't.
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Look at that wall over there. Isn't that a beautiful wall? You know what it reminds me of?
Ted Higgins : What?
Tommy Hinchcliffe : [points at a different wall] That wall over here.
Ted Higgins : Oh stop. Walls are walls.
-
Ted Higgins : You don't even know what a husband is!
Tommy Hinchcliffe : A husband is what's left of a sweetheart after the nerve has been killed.
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : 20 thousand laws in this city and we can't find one to break.
Ted Higgins : Now don't get excited, Tommy. I'll get you out of this mess and get you in jail.
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : It's no use crying over spilled milk. It's the nickel back for the bottle that I care about.
-
Nick Craig : I just want your footprints in the cement.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Whose going to see our footprints at the bottom of a barrel?
Nick Craig : The little fishies.
-
Ted Higgins : We'll bet on Lolly at 30 to 1.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : 30 to 1? How can we do that? It's already quarter to!
-
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : There's another reason Lucky George will win. Lucky George is a mudder!
Tommy Hinchcliffe : How can a he be a mother? Ain't a she always a mother?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : Sometimes a he is a better mudder than a she.
Tommy Hinchcliffe : How can you tell?
Julius Caesar 'J.C.' McBride : By their feet.
-
Tommy Hinchcliffe : Fellows, Romans, and Countrymen! Who would like to buy a dope sheet?
