Reet, Petite, and Gone (1947)

Louis Jordan: Schyler Jarvis, Louis Jarvis

Quotes 

• Rusty : But you could learn to love me, darling.

  Louis Jarvis : I can't afford the lesson!

• Louis Jarvis : What are we gonna do now?

  Sam Adams : That's the $64 question.

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  You've heard of the Chattanooga Choo Choo, The Rock Island, The Missoura Pacific, The Northern Pacific, The Southern Pacific, The New York Central, The B&O, And the C&O, And the IC, And the Santa Fee, Jack you just gotta take a ride on the TP...

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  Wham, Sam, Dig them gams, Mellow like corn and country ham, Slender and round and built from the ground, Wham, Sam, Dig them gams, Wham, Sam, T'aint no flam, The chick's got props like she's from Bam, Mellow and fine and so divine, Wham, Sam, Dig them gams, Now, I've been around and seen some legs, Skinny ones, fat ones, some fine pegs, I like a chick that's built like her, Soft and mellow like fine fox fur, Wham, Sam!

• Louis Jarvis : I'm tellin' you, Sam, I've looked at so many legs, I feel like a nightwatchman at a nudist colony.

• Louis Jarvis : We got to do it right. Girls just sit around and be calm and pay attention to this number. This is a number on how to understand women.

  [singing] 

  Louis Jarvis : There's a whole lot of talk around town, 'Bout the way you carryin' yourself, There's a whole lot of talk around town, 'Bout the way you carryin' yourself, You jivin' everybody in town, But baby, I know what you're puttin' down...

• Sam Adams : Some of your father's money certainly would put us shipshape.

  Louis Jarvis : Well, Sam, I'm not going to marry that dame.

  Sam Adams : Louis, you're just a drag-arena blues! Man, for a million bucks, I'd almost do it myself.

• Louis Jarvis : Miss Candy Cane.

  Sam Adams : Bust: 34. Waist: 24 3/4. Hips: 35. I'm sorry beautiful. You're just a little bit too tall. Thanks for coming out.

  Louis Jarvis : Miss Ambrosia Jenkins.

  Sam Adams : Bust: 34. Waist: 23 3/4. Hips: 35. Sorry, Miss. A little too large.

  Louis Jarvis : Miss Beulah Cornflower.

  Sam Adams : Bust: 35. Waist: 26. Hips: 36 3/4. Sorry Miss. Just a cinch too large.

  Louis Jarvis : Miss Helen Wheels.

  Sam Adams : Bust: 36. Waist: 25 1/2.

  Louis Jarvis : Fine!

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  Hey, everybody, let's have some fun, You only live but once, And when you're dead you're done, So let the good times roll, Let the good times roll, Don't care if you're young or old, Get together, let the good times roll, Don't sit there mumblin' and talkin' trash, If you wanna have a ball, You gotta spend some cash, And let the good times roll, And let the good times roll...

• Louis Jarvis : Wham, Sam! Dig them gams!

  Sam Adams : These are the new costumes, Louis. How do you like them?

  Louis Jarvis : Sam, they are killer! I'm telling you they are really fine. Come on, girls, let's get together with this next tune, 'Reet, Petite and Gone".

  [singing] 

  Louis Jarvis : I found a gal that beats 'em all, She isn't too short and she isn't too tall, She's in the groove and right on the ball, 'Cause she's reet, petite and gone, Now, what a babe, she's the tops, When we go out they don't need no traffic cops, One look at her and the traffic stops, 'Cause she's reet, petite and gone...

• Louis Jarvis : You know, if I could stop looking at you long enough and think clearly, I might be able to ask you what you're doing in New York - what you're working at.

  Honey Carter : Well, if working is looking for a job, then I'm hard at work.

  Louis Jarvis : No luck?

  Honey Carter : Almost a month now. I was beginning to get a little desperate. That's how I decided to parade around in a bathing suit.

  Louis Jarvis : And a nice parader, too, if I may say so.

• Louis Jarvis : Well, what do you know. You don't fit the measurements, but, you'd get my vote for Miss Broadway.

  Honey Carter : Thank you.

  Louis Jarvis : Oh, you look familiar.

  Honey Carter : Well, since I ought to, I guess I can't say you're gettin' fresh.

• Louis Jarvis : Sam, get the cast together. The show must go on.

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  This chick's so mighty fine, She got me all tied up like a ball of twine...

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  Hey boy, They'll come a time, Someday, by and by, Start releasin' the chicken or you'll get a lickin', That chick's too young to fry...

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  If you wanna get your kicks, From a boy who knows the tricks, If it's love you want, baby, that's me...

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  There was Adam, happy as a man could be, Till Eve got him messin' with that old apple tree, Ain't that just like a woman? Ain't that just like a woman? Ain't that just like a woman? They'll do it every time...

• Louis Jarvis : [singing]  There once was a hole

  The Tympany Five : There once was a hole

  Louis Jarvis : I said there was a hole

  The Tympany Five : I said there was a hole

  Louis Jarvis : The prettiest little hole

  The Tympany Five : The prettiest little hole

  Louis Jarvis : That you ever did see...